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Mental Health Monday – We Give Thanks

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Yesterday, we lost a pioneer and advocate in the mental health awareness field. Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in beginning the fight against mental illness stigma as well as growing the awareness of mental health issues. She openly talked about her depression and spoke out when it would not have been in her best political interest to do so. She, like her husband, President Jimmy Carter always did things in a way that worked within their consciences through their compassion, empathy, and faith to make the world a better place, one project at a time. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity, the Carter Center, peace initiatives, teaching Sunday school, they worked as a team, full partners, supporting each other in both their shared and differing priorities. She was a good and faithful servant and may she receive her reward and rest in peace.

From The Carter Center

Rosalynn Carter Tribute Page

Rosalynn Carter at The Carter Center.

With Thanksgiving coming up this week, many of us are spending the day (or even the weekend) with family we may not see often, and it can be a wonderful day, but it can also be stressful and draining and you want to maintain the strides you’ve already made in your mental health journey. With the death of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, I am reminded that our mental health journey is ongoing, and we can and should refer back to our advocates and mentors as well as those we may not know, but those who have influenced our journeys as Mrs. Carter has done for me, especially with her independence and her openness on her own mental health struggles and journey.

I have five tools that I want to share with you to add to your mental health toolbox, especially for this holiday season.

  1. Whether you’re at your own home or someone else’s, find a safe space where you can go to take a moment to yourself to catch your breath, regroup, and motivate yourself to go back to the social group. If you’re a praying person, this might be a good time to have a prayer or mantra ready to steady your way for the next go round.
  2. Have a plan for your drink choice. Even for those of us who do not have alcohol problems, it’s easier to know what you want to drink. It’s one less thing to think about or umm about. Personally, I’m a fan of Diet Coke and/or ice water. My hot drink is tea. It is also more common to bring your own water bottle to places. Know that it’s also okay to say no, thank you.
  3. It’s okay to sneak off to the bathroom and watch a video on your phone that will settle your anxiety.
  4. Speaking of your phone, it’s also okay to check in with that one person who knows what to say to create a comfortable space for you within the holiday-social responsibility bubble.
  5. Wear something you love. I find that when I’m dressed in my comfort clothes, I feel better about myself, and I project myself better. Part of my own comfort clothes are my mother’s ring, a colorful scarf, a long, cozy sweater, a pin (which can also be a conversation starter if that’s what you want it to be), or my rainbow shoelaces.

Know that the holiday is just one day. You’ll talk, you’ll laugh, you’ll have moments of discomfort, you’ll eat dinner, and it will be over before you know it.

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, and may the warm feelings carry you through the rest of the year.

National Scavenger Hunt Day

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Long time readers know of my affinity of the annual GISH scavenger hunt. I had opted out of last summer’s, and wouldn’t you know – that was the last one. I know Misha Collins, the actor who started that hunt has been pulled in too many directions, and he finally decided that last year would be the last. This has led me to two ideas.

The first is to honor the legacy of fun with a quick hunt today. It’s similar to one that I’ve done with my kids when we were on vacation. How that one was set up was that they each got a small bag, like a party goody bag that among other things included a journal, a pen, and a photocopied list of things to look for. It gave them something to do in the car, and it reduced the complaint, of “I’m bored.” At the time, my kids ranged in age from 10 to 19.

Below (and on the Download page found in the sidebar), you will find a colorful sheet to print out for your own hunt. The directions are at the bottom, and you can add your own items to the back if you like. Below that, I have just the list if you’d prefer your list to fit on a quarter sheet of paper or for emailing.

The second thought I had was to have my own scavenger hunt during the traditional week that GISH is held: July 30 through August 6. I’m still working out the details, but here is a preview of the logo I’m creating.

My idea is to post two items per day (perhaps 16-20 items). You can put your “entries” in the comments on either the main post or the individual item posts. I’m not going to judge anything, but I will draw a random name from the participants for a small prize (still working out the items and the prize). That person will receive an e-gift card and to receive the prize must consent to share their email with me. (I will not sell or share their information with any third parties.)

Enjoy today’s mini-hunt and I look forward to seeing everyone at the end of July for the hunt-that-has-no-name-yet.

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Mental Health Monday – Overwhelmed?

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I don’t know about you, but at the very end of Passover and Easter, I crash mentally. There is still so much to do, but it’s not scheduled between multiple church visits per day and cooking from scratch for Passover most nights, I still have to continue with life. And until this coming Thursday, everyone in the house is working, and we’re trying to save money by not eating out, even cheap fast food, which isn’t so cheap anymore.

I have returned to my lists (especially for today and the rest of this week), and on days like today, I needed a very specific list to make sure I hit every place I needed without too many, if any, U-turns.

The first thing I would recommend is a multi-level list when you’re beginning to get overwhelmed:

Draw a horizontal line across the middle of a piece of any-size paper, and then draw two columns from the top to that middle line.

Like this:

Fig. 1
(c)2023

The left is for the must-do’s, the right is for the would-like-to-do’s, and the bottom is for everything else. I’d also draw a line on the bottom right for a running shopping list.

I’ll give you an example for today and tomorrow.

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March. Inspire?

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The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

Coco Chanel

One thing about dates on the calendar is that the days change. I’ve been thinking that today is the National Day of Unplugging, but it turns out that it was this past Friday. Rather than being set on March 6th, it seems to be actually on the first Friday in March. It doesn’t really change the topic for today for me since my whole point in bringing up this National Day of Unplugging is to disavow it and suggest that perhaps unplugging isn’t right for everyone.

There is no firm one thing that works for everyone. We are all different and we handle our stresses differently. We use different tools to work through the stresses of our days and go about our work and play. Sometimes, that means unplugging for an extended period of time, but being plugged in isn’t necessarily a bad thing for everyone.

I do certainly agree that screen time should be limited for children, but I also think that if older kids and adults of any age get their entertainment from being plugged in, then don’t shame them for it.

During the pandemic, we were told to stay offline since we were spending so much time online with our work and school being on screens constantly. For me, this was not tenable to my contentment or mental health. I use an e-reader for about 90% of my reading. I get my news from Twitter (and now from Spoutible). How is checking Twitter news different from turning on the television and watching the news on that screen? I would rather play Solitaire on my Kindle than with the cards on my table (which by the way has no room for the cards to be laid out). How are podcasts worse than listening to an audiobook? Music videos vs. music audio?

The rule of thumb should definitely be everything in moderation, but guilting someone for enjoying themselves is not okay in my book.

Some of us are also neurodivergent and need the stimulation that comes from the online world and the very real friendships we’ve forged and fostered there.

Today alone, I’ve used either my Kindle of my laptop for the following, and it’s not even noon yet:

  • Checked and answered email – both personal and professional
  • Zoom meeting for Cursillo grouping
  • Rechecked my church website for the date of the Lenten Penance Service to add to my calendar
  • Set up tomorrow’s Zoom for the Scripture Study for the Month of March
  • Balanced my checkbook
  • Read a chapter in Lady Justice by Dahlia Lithwick
  • Posted to Instagram for Bring Your Action Figure To Work Day – go check it out – link’s on the sidebar
  • Did a bit of the research for Friday Food which will publish at the end of this week

I couldn’t have done half of these things without plugging in. No guilt trips welcome here.

Purple chair and ottoman by window, in hotel room, striped throw pillow on seat, side table on the right, dresser with lamp on the left.
My plans to be once I publish this piece.
(c)2023

Black American Heroes of History

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Follow the link to read about 31 Black American Heroes of History**

In this link, you will find:

  • Shirley Chisholm
  • Bayard Rustin
  • Claudette Colvin
  • Annie Lee Cooper
  • Dorothy Height
  • Jesse Owens
  • Bessie Coleman
  • Robert Sengstacke Abbott
  • Ethel Waters
  • Gwendolyn Brooks
  • Alice Coachman
  • Gordon Parks
  • Jane Bolin
  • Maria P. Williams
  • Marsha P. Johnson
  • Minnie Riperton
  • Ruby Bridges
  • Mae Jemison
  • Marian Anderson
  • Rose Marie McCoy

** Please note: The article is titled 31 Black American Heroes of History. However, when I read the article they only list 20.

Mental Health Monday – John Fetterman Edition

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It’s extremely difficult to ask for help. No matter how big or small the problem, for many of us our reaction is often, “I’m good, I can do it, It’s fine.” Is it really? Whether we like to admit it or not, this can be more difficult for men, especially a man who is considered the head of his family, who just went through a health crisis, who is adjusting to unexpected changes in diet and lifestyle, who is being ridiculed for seeking help for a serious medical issue, whose family is mocked for nothing more than being his family, who went through a tough political race, and began a new job mere weeks ago.

It’s a lot.

It can be a lot without all of that going on.

For myself, I ignored a lot of my anxiety and depression. It didn’t occur to me that there was a problem. When you feel that something is off and search for help (today through Google), the wrong questions are asked. Do you skip out on work? Do you sleep a lot? Do you want to harm yourself? If your answers are no, you’re fine.

But you’re not.

I’m talking about myself, and not suggesting any of this is true for Senator Fetterman. Please don’t use this as an implication to some secret knowledge or diagnosis of the Senator. It’s not.

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St. Brigid’s Day

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As promised on Instagram, a list of St. Brigid‘s symbols in the above sketch.

  1. St. Brigid’s Cloak – she is said to have been at the birth of Jesus and wrapped him in her cloak. Her cloak has also been told to have grown when offered land for her monastery the size of her cloak. I seem to recall that I’ve also heard her cloak referred to as the night sky with constellations shining on or through it. (I will need to search out my notes and return later this week when I find it – I need it to be true!)
  2. A mug of beer. St. Brigid is known to have turned water into beer, including a lake.
  3. The Triskele. Not only a symbol of Brigid, but the triskele is a triple spiral, often meaning the three roads of life: past, present, future. It may also reference the Holy Trinity.
  4. A Shepherd’s Crook or Bishop’s Crozier. Brigid is considered to have done the works of a Bishop in her position as Abbess of the monastery at Kildare. She led masses and preached.
  5. Medieval-style Goose. She is often depicted with geese as well as cows.

One of my favorite books about St. Brigid is: Brigid’s Cloak: An Ancient Irish Story by Bryce Milligan, illustrated by Helen Cann

Mental Health Monday – January 2023

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I spent today with my family, and when I got home realized that this post wasn’t ready. I was going to put it off until mid-week when things would be seemingly calmer, but I thought about that for a minute, and realized that our mental health can’t be put off.

We need to take the time needed and focus on our mental health when we need to. It will never fit into a schedule. Things come up with mental health that we need to cope with just like things come up everyday in our lives like an overflowing sink or a backed-up toilet. Some things just need to be taken care of right away.

One thing that I have been struggling with is my prayer life. My faith is strong, but I’m having difficulty praying, so I’m looking at new techniques. If it doesn’t improve, I may resort to a finite-timed checklist. And for me, not being prayerful affects my mental health. I am hoping to attend mass tomorrow before I begin the rest of my day.

Before I give you my quick list, please…. if you are in distress or having an emergency, contact a mental health professional or call 9-1-1.
The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is 988 and they are there to help.

Here are five simple suggestions for coping with mental health and the anxieties that accompany it:

  • Focus on something neutral, something ordinary. The breeze blowing the leaves outside. The clouds drifting by.
  • Take some quiet time and listen to music. Instrumental music is often good for this because there are no words to distract you, but if you like loud, blaring music, play that and sing along.
  • Read a book.
  • Write in a journal. You can write what you’re feeling, what you’re grateful for, what your plans are when you’re feeling better.
  • Watch a movie you’ve seen before. That way you don’t have to give it your full attention, but you’ll feel as though you’re doing something if that’s what you need.

Here’s another helpful action you can take.

National Hot Tea Day

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My breakfast nook! My special place for tea preparation. (c)2022-2023

I finally broke down and created this special area for our breakfast needs. My husband works from home and makes himself coffee every morning. For myself, I drink tea, especially during the cold months, and I wanted a space that spoke to me and that I could find everything I needed for my cup of tea since tea is more than a drink – it is life-giving and life-sustaining. There is so much more to tea than drinking leaves steeped in hot water.

One of my favorite ways to make tea is the way Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy described in 1999. It really works well. It’s the using a hot cup that really does the trick. You can read his brilliant way to brew tea by clicking here.

Here is George Orwell’s take on it as well: A Nice Cup of Tea

What I’ve discovered about brewing tea is that the simple ways are the best ways.

  1. If you’re making tea one cup at a time, the cup should be hot.
  2. The water should be boiling.
  3. The tea bag should not be left in the cup once it has been steeped.
  4. And under no circumstances should the tea bag be squeezed.
  5. Sugar, honey, agave, your sweetener is your choice, but I prefer the tried and true sugar.

Enjoy.

Check out my instagram later today for the cup of tea I had this morning with my breakfast bagel!

New Year Intentions, Part 1

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Every year, dozens of articles, posts, podcasts and the like tell us what we need to do to make this a successful year; the one year we will finally get things done, handled: lose weight, clean the house, raise healthy, well-adjusted children, start our own businesses, and whatever else that will make us content this year.

I have never figured out what it takes to make new year’s resolutions that will stick. I try. I’ve tried renaming them: goals, plans, focus, changes, intentions (my personal favorite and the one I will continue to stick with), and aspirations.

On Sunday, I scrolled through my emails and opened the Target ad, and in a few minutes of turning pages in this first advertisement of the new year, I saw what Target and their advertising consultants think we should be focused on in our resolutions for beginning and following through on in this year:

  1. Healthy food
  2. Vitamins
  3. Skin care
  4. Exercise equipment
  5. Exercise clothes
  6. Self-help books
  7. Tax Software and Office Supplies for Taxes
  8. Storage containers
  9. Cleaning supplies
  10. Laundry supplies
  11. Food Storage
  12. Small appliances – air fryers, roombas, vacuums

A thirty-page ad.

How long will many of the consumers stick with the new exercise regimen? No between meal snacks? Brushing teeth at lunch? Not ripping off a piece of tin foil and covering the dinner plate instead of using those expensive (and very clean) containers?

To be honest, I already have three doctor’s appointments scheduled plus my physical, so I guess I’m ahead of my own procrastination. I’m also planning on replacing all the glasses (eyewear) in our family this spring.

This year, though, my focus is on my writing, expanding my writing adjacent activities, and my faithfulness and becoming centered on my spiritual life. I’m not sure precisely what that means; I’m still defining what I’m looking for, what I need in my world, and what my specific intentions are. I plan to form them in the next week and share them. This is also one reason that I reevaluate my goals and intentions throughout the year. It works out not quite quarterly: Back to School/Jewish New Year, Lent/Easter, Secular New Year. While these times are somewhat etched in stone, I still leave room for reevaluation.

This year is beginning with a few points of stress. My therapist is retiring, and I am in the process of searching for a new one. I begin that tomorrow morning, after Mass. For the last couple of years I’ve wondered if I still needed to go regularly for therapy, but in contemplating stopping, I realized that just simply having it on my calendar gives me a conversation to look forward to, a time to see, and that alone seems to curb my anxiety. Nothing is cured; anxiety doesn’t work that way, but it is part of my recovery. Those little things add up and make a difference; they give me a focus, they offer a routine, a schedule that I can look forward to and as it did when I started (with both therapy, writing, and mass) it gave me a schedule to follow. Many of these techniques remind me of posts from neurodivergent folks and how they live their lives. I wouldn’t call myself neurodivergent, but who knows. There’s something to be said for trying something new. Letting chips fall where they may and seeing what works. Including reusing cliches.

Something I said to my husband about one of our children – if this child was diagnosed as on the autistic spectrum we would make allowances, we would accommodate some of their needs and expectations. Just because they don’t wear the label doesn’t mean that we can’t still make the accommodations that they need, whether we call them quirks or personality or neurodiversity.

There is no reason that I can’t make those same allowances for myself or to expect those same allowances for myself if it makes me, helps me function better. Whatever that means for me.

I’m going to take a break, read a chapter, play a game on my kindle and work on getting dinner ready. Later in the week, I will share my New Year’s intentions. I hope to see many of you along on the journey, whether you’re here as a spectator or a participant. No change is too small. No intention too minor.