Pierre Damas Bel
TW: suicide, racism, fascism
Continue reading
In honor of today’s national coloring book day, I have added three NEW color sheets to my downloadable page, found here.
Each sheet may be downloaded for personal use. You can preview them below.
Happy Coloring!
The Mental Health Monday I planned for last Monday never happened.
You may not have noticed because I gave no preview; I’m trying to move away from the previews, but the planning was still there, it was on my calendar, I wanted to publish something weekly during this mental health awareness month – it just never happened.
Part of my mental health is having goals and following through on them, but also part of my mental health is allowing myself grace.
Grace to change my mind.
Grace to miss a deadline, and accept that especially if there’s a good reason.
Grace to let myself take time for myself to have breakfast after a doctor’s appointment and then go to work.
Grace to take my own needs into consideration, to put myself first, to consider my own priorites.
To accept my own importance.
To adjust for my own needs.
To sometimes save my spoons.
My recommendation to you today is to take a moment. Ask yourself what you want from today. Then try to let it happen.
And if it doesn’t…well, there’s always tomorrow.
This past Friday, Mental Health Awareness Month began.
I never really thought about my mental health. I had things I felt – anxiety, sadness, too much of this, too little of that, and I never looked further. I was too young, being organized isn’t a bad thing, eating four M&Ms at a time isn’t problematic. The list goes on, and it ranges from what sounds like nonsense to what can grow into real issues, not just for me but for the people around me. My mental health issues don’t fall into illness categories, not everyone’s issues do. Sometimes we dismiss it as idiosyncrasies, or cousin Jane is just like that, it’s a preference. Our mental health affects not only ourselves, but the people around us especially if you live with family or friends, have work colleagues, hobby partners, etc.
Again, until I became suicidal to the point that I noticed a problem and addressed it with my doctor, it was overtaking all of my thoughts. Until then, it fell into the characterization of a shrug, something I do, and something I just live with.
Once I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, I could look back all the way to childhood and see things that I did and felt that I thought were “normal” or things that I was blowing out of proportion with no genuine reason for feeling how I felt. One example of this was when my parents were out of the house. We lived in a split level, so there was a short staircase near the front door, and I sat on those carpeted steps in a heightened state of anxiety waiting for them to get home. Was I six? Ten? No. I think I was sixteen and much too old to be in this state because I was alone in the house. I’m not even sure I was alone in the house – I have two siblings; they may have been home, but it was nighttime, and my parents were not.
I have been on medication since 2012. Medication was not the only answer, but I consider it a large part of my recovery. Medication is not a dirty word; there is nothing to be ashamed of in taking medication to regulate your brain. I take medication for my diabetes and high blood pressure, and no one questions why I take pills instead of just “feeling better” or “calming down”.
Here are five things to do right now or when you wake up or just before you go to bed or whenever you want to do them. You decide what works for you. I was on the phone with someone for my job and I had tried to say something pithy, intelligent, and comforting and what I said was whatever works for you is – *long pause*, well, it’s whatever works for you. I don’t know if it’s intelligent, but it is certainly pithy. It’s also true. I can suggest hundreds of things to do, ways to think, lists upon lists of how to get through the day, but in the end,whatever you decide works for you is what works for you.
Here are those five things that work for me:
Have a good week.
The Mental Health Monday posts for this month will also be crossposted on my Substack.
I don’t even know what’s specifically happening today. I do know that if I go on Threads or turn on the news, I’m going to get a migraine, and I don’t get migraines.
How do we cope with the world around us?
In addition to all this *gestures wildly*, on Tuesday we lost power. It remained off for over twenty hours. No internet, no electricity, no heat.
Our work plans were cancelled. Our dinner plans were cancelled. My daughter’s day off plans in front of Netflix from her cozy bed were cancelled. Fridge barricaded from the kids. Sweaters on.
Our country is at war, our economy is tanking. Gas prices are ridiculous. We have ICE agents in our airports “helping” the TSA, and by helping I mean tackling and detaining folks waiting for their flights. We have airplanes crashing because air traffic controllers are overworked and understaffed. Our government is doing everything in its power (and beyond that) to destroy what we’ve grown and built over the last two hundred fifty years.
We may never recover from this.
The President of the United States posted this week about a combat, Purple Heart receiving veteran, lifelong public servant, and former director of the FBI when it had some prestige that he was glad he was dead. Not condolences for the family. Not we had our disagreements, but I wish his family well. No. Glad he’s dead, good riddance.
His Cabinet lies under oath every time they come in contact with a Congressional hearing.
I’m appalled. I’m repulsed. I’m disgusted.
And I know I’m not the only one.
There is little I can do individually except make my anger, distrust, and contempt for this corrupt administration known. Feckless Republican cowards have let him get away with this treason for too long. They all need to go.
I know how all of this is affecting my mental health. I can only imagine how it affects yours.
Here are some of my thoughts and suggestions for getting through another day:
I’m seeing a lot of concerns and posts on Threads (which is my main source of social media) about suicidal ideation, reaching out, is reaching out a codependency or a cry for help, is it merely speaking your truth “into the void”. I am not suicidal, any more. I am hyperaware of my mental health, and when I feel it diminishing, I reach into my coping tote bag (or toolbox) and see what will work *this time*. (For my story, you can search my tags for /my42, /mental-health) My evergreen go-to is writing, lists, and me time away from work and home. I must admit that I’ve adopted “me time” from my daughter. She is fierce about her space and her alone time, in her private room in the evening, and on her days off. She has taught me so much about how important self-love and self-care is.
As Lent approaches (T-minus two days, one and a half really), again, I have not decided on an item to give up, I have not decided on a spiritual practice to adopt for the next forty days, I have not moved into a Lenten mindset. Home is harried. Work this week is harried. My writing classes and groups that I’ve committed to are harried. And I love all three of them, so my object isn’t to make the times in them go away, or worse or negative for me or the people around me. It looks like it’s time for a few lists.
But lists aren’t the only mental health tool or adaption that I’ll need this week.
I’ll also need time.
We all do.
Even when I was a stay-at-home mom and my kids were in school for most of the day, I still needed to make time, bide my time, reserve my time, reclaim time. How is time simultaneously fleeting and standing still? Of course, it matters what we are doing with those times – vacations speed by, the work day slides along slowly. Paychecks come late,and bills come early.
For the next forty days, we of the Catholic faith will try to be better, with the help of G-d, but truly for ourselves. What can we do to make ourselves better? What can we do to make our lives better? What can we do to make the world better?
Whether you follow the forty days of Lent until the Resurrection of Easter or it’s just almost spring for you, think about how you can rest in yourself, how you can reset, and recover your mental health, to be healthy in ways that work for you.
I’ll return to this subject on Wednesday when Ash Wednesday begins the Lenten season, and I will hopefully have something to add that I’ve come up with for myself.
Until then, do something quiet and peaceful for yourself, and be.
Third time’s the charm, right?
I’ve been writing this for about a week now, and social media made me scream.
Then screech.
Then scream again.
I tried to write about the inspiration that was my writing retreat at the end of last month.
I tried to write about our road trip to Ticonderoga to bring our friends to visit the Star Trek Original Series Set Tour.
I tried to write about the hostages being released this weekend (truly, thank G-d; I’m full of gratitude).
I tried to write about my surgical recovery (which is going well).
And all I got out was rants.
Rants about fascism.
Rants about antisemitism.
Rants about mental blocks.
Rants about why do we need to eat dinner EVERY NIGHT?!
Rants. And more rants.
I decided my October inspiration would be some of the photos I have on my phone. I hope they bring you some joy and some inspiration.
Continue readingI try to post these Mental Health Mondays during the awareness months, like mental health awareness in May and suicide prevention awareness now in September, and throughout the year when I’m feeling that I need some reminders and tips to keep moving forward.
In this month of suicide prevention, I do post more about mental health than suicide prevention or ideation. That is mostly because despite the desperate need that brings some of us to the brink of suicide there is also the mental health aspect that affects us all in one way or another, at various times, whether we are officially diagnosed or in therapy for other reasons. We all have those moments that life is just too much.
My suicide ideation came at a difficult time in my life, full of stress and downturns, and other despairs. Or did the stress, downturns, and despair come out because of the suicidal thoughts. Mental health is inextricably linked and often mental health and chemical imbalances result in physical health deteriorating.
I came through it.
You can also come through it.
Some days are better than others, but when the day begins again, each tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to start again, a new opportunity to be better and to make it better, whatever that ‘it’ is in your life.
I’d love to hear some of the ways that you make it through to the next day and begin again.
For some of my ways, look back at the mentalhealthmonday tag; search it in the search box on the left-hand sidebar or click on the tag below.
Let’s help each other. Getting through the tough times is the first step, and every step after that is a success.

As I mentioned yesterday, Supernatural is my go-to for mindless background, white-noise when I want sound, but not anything to concentrate on.
I’m reminded of this more this week as Supernatural celebrates its 20th anniversary and I celebrate just over a decade in recovery through depression and anxiety. Mental health wellness is a continuum rather than a cure, and having our coping tools to help us through the rough patches is one of the keys.
We survive.
What are some of your go-to’s for coping?

On Saturday, the fandom celebrated the twentieth anniversary of the premiere of Supernatural. The show ended its run five years ago, and its popularity has only grown with meet & greets, conventions, and the fans following the actors on to new projects, continuing to buy the merch and donating to worthy causes through Stands and Random Acts!
I had toyed with the idea of posting a reflection on Saturday, the day of the anniversary, but I also thought I would actually approach the anniversary the way I approached my watching of the original series: late.
I did not come to the fandom when it premiered in 2005, but during its hiatus on its way to the second half of its seventh season. I had a lot of catching up to do, and I made it, just barely when the show returned with the second half, and I’ve been with them ever since.
I brought my teenage daughter along for the ride and that has also been an exciting dimension to this fandom as well.
I’ve written before how I’ve never been big on horror, and Supernatural felt like horror, so I avoided it. Luckily for me, my friend wrote up a trigger list for each episode so I could go in with my eyes open and make the choices as I went along. I’ve seen every episode except Bugs and I don’t plan on seeing that one even now.
I was also in the middle of a new diagnosis of severe depression, and Supernatural was really one of the things that kept me in a solid place as we adjusted medication, found a therapist, and began writing as therapy. Supernatural was a big part of that recovery, and continued to be a go-to when I need something in the background to keep my mind still. I’ll talk more about this later today when I publish today’s Mental Health Monday, coming this afternoon.
The Pilot episode gives a good introduction to the characters and their journey; however, my first episode was The French Mistake with breaks all of the fourth walls, and really pulled me into the fandom before it pulled me into the series. If you’re already familiar with the actors and their characters, The French Mistake is a fun episode that still moves the story forward.
So, happy birthday Supernatural! Twenty years since the premiere is a milestone, as is the fifteen years on the air! Let’s go: we’ve got work to do.