Mental Health Monday – 250

Stuck between the idea and an ideal, somehow despite the advantages and privilege still remains elusive. I’m talking about our country, the United States, the great democratic experiment. It has never been perfect, and it has been idealized by the patriarchal class. It began, and remains today in many places and situations, with white men, landowners with money, wifely support, servants and slaves. That slavery was written into the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, an irony and a tragedy if ever there was one. In thirty-four days is a celebration that I would normally be looking forward to, but the state of our government and the administration currently in charge is making it increasingly more difficult to get behind a “celebration” or an honoring of what we have been and what we are becoming.

How is this related to mental health?

Mental health awareness month officially ended yesterday, but our mental health awareness must continue – the awareness of how we’re feeling, how people make us feel, what triggers us, and how to cope with those triggers. At our house, we have four flags in the front along with a pride flag. I left the US flags displayed in honor of our fallen for Memorial Day. I’ve decided to remove them for June. I think Flag Day has been coopted by the current president as his birthday party, and I will not participate in that. At all. I plan to replace the flags for July 4^th weekend and then remove them again until Election Day.

I feel for the people who say we have nothing to celebrate. Sometimes I believe that, but sometimes I see what good happens when people do good; without the cameras rolling, without the benefits of being seen, without heaped upon praise, simply acting because that is the right thing to do. That is what I believe this country can be. I was raised that way, and I hope I’ve raised my kids that way. The ideal of the idea of the US is the melting pot, the blending of many into one – e pluribus unum.

I’ll ignore the circus in Washington, D.C. for the next few weeks, although I won’t ignore the harm they’re doing, the persecuted, the shamed, the bigotry and racism abounding currently, and acknowledging this is nothing new, we’ve always had this. We’ve hoped for the best, and I hope and pray that we can rebuild, not rebuild what we had, but a stronger foundation, a stronger, more equal place for the world to come and to look to as my great-grandparents did, as my mother-in-law did. I want us to be what we can be, what we should have been all along.

I have memories of the Bicentennial, and I am going to make memories for the 250^th. I want my kids to look back in another fifty years for the three hundredth birthday and see how far we’ve come. I can hope. I can encourage.

Regardless, take your mental health temperature, and see what you want out of the next few weeks, how you want to celebrate or ignore our country’s founding, how you can stay on your recovery course in the best possible way. Make your coping tools available so when triggered you have the mental space to reset. First and foremost, take care of you.

And for my own mental health, I can ignore Washington’s circus monkeys through this birthday and then get back on the protest wagon and fight for our democracy, repair what they’ve destroyed (including the Rose Garden and the East Wing and the Voting Rights Act and Roe v. Wade), and rekindle a better place for all of us. I have faith. We can do it. We can.

Mental Health Monday – Memorial Day

Today can be a difficult day for several reasons, the least of which is the shitshow that’s the current US government administration. There are fireworks (triggers for those with PTSD, pets, etc.). There are ceremonies commemorating the dead military of past wars and conflicts. There are mattress and car sales, which often don’t correlate to the reason for today’s day off from work, as well as picnics, parades, and a sea of red, white, and blue.

I’ve had flags on my front lawn for several months and as we move closer to the 250th anniversary of our country’s founding, I wonder if I should keep them up considering the fascism and lawlessness going on at the White House and in Washington, DC.

I did decide to leave them up for this weekend. Memorial Day hits harder than the other patriotic days especially when we are still at war and our “commander-in-chief” is a stark, raving lunatic who collects assassination attempts like my kids collect Pokemon cards.

I will be doing five things to get through the day today, and hope to keep my mental health on an even keel:

Wear my protest shirt.
Begin reading Heather Cox Richardson’s Democracy Awakening: Notes on the State of America.
Spend some time going over my notes from my recent research trip for my book.
Spend time in prayer and prepare for my upcoming ten minute presentation.
Breathe, drink water, stay off the internet, and draw even if the drawings are doodles and intersecting lines in different bright colors.

What do you suggest for today to protect your mental health?

Mental Health Monday

Things don’t always go as planned, and that’s okay.

The Mental Health Monday I planned for last Monday never happened.

You may not have noticed because I gave no preview; I’m trying to move away from the previews, but the planning was still there, it was on my calendar, I wanted to publish something weekly during this mental health awareness month – it just never happened.

Part of my mental health is having goals and following through on them, but also part of my mental health is allowing myself grace.

Grace to change my mind.

Grace to miss a deadline, and accept that especially if there’s a good reason.

Grace to let myself take time for myself to have breakfast after a doctor’s appointment and then go to work.

Grace to take my own needs into consideration, to put myself first, to consider my own priorites.

To accept my own importance.

To adjust for my own needs.

To sometimes save my spoons.

My recommendation to you today is to take a moment. Ask yourself what you want from today. Then try to let it happen.

And if it doesn’t…well, there’s always tomorrow.

Mental Health Monday – Awareness Month

This past Friday, Mental Health Awareness Month began.

I never really thought about my mental health. I had things I felt – anxiety, sadness, too much of this, too little of that, and I never looked further. I was too young, being organized isn’t a bad thing, eating four M&Ms at a time isn’t problematic. The list goes on, and it ranges from what sounds like nonsense to what can grow into real issues, not just for me but for the people around me. My mental health issues don’t fall into illness categories, not everyone’s issues do. Sometimes we dismiss it as idiosyncrasies, or cousin Jane is just like that, it’s a preference. Our mental health affects not only ourselves, but the people around us especially if you live with family or friends, have work colleagues, hobby partners, etc.

Again, until I became suicidal to the point that I noticed a problem and addressed it with my doctor, it was overtaking all of my thoughts. Until then, it fell into the characterization of a shrug, something I do, and something I just live with.

Once I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, I could look back all the way to childhood and see things that I did and felt that I thought were “normal” or things that I was blowing out of proportion with no genuine reason for feeling how I felt. One example of this was when my parents were out of the house. We lived in a split level, so there was a short staircase near the front door, and I sat on those carpeted steps in a heightened state of anxiety waiting for them to get home. Was I six? Ten? No. I think I was sixteen and much too old to be in this state because I was alone in the house. I’m not even sure I was alone in the house – I have two siblings; they may have been home, but it was nighttime, and my parents were not.

I have been on medication since 2012. Medication was not the only answer, but I consider it a large part of my recovery. Medication is not a dirty word; there is nothing to be ashamed of in taking medication to regulate your brain. I take medication for my diabetes and high blood pressure, and no one questions why I take pills instead of just “feeling better” or “calming down”.

Here are five things to do right now or when you wake up or just before you go to bed or whenever you want to do them. You decide what works for you. I was on the phone with someone for my job and I had tried to say something pithy, intelligent, and comforting and what I said was whatever works for you is – *long pause*, well, it’s whatever works for you. I don’t know if it’s intelligent, but it is certainly pithy. It’s also true. I can suggest hundreds of things to do, ways to think, lists upon lists of how to get through the day, but in the end,whatever you decide works for you is what works for you.

Here are those five things that work for me:

Close your eyes and breathe. Through your nose and out of your mouth.
Read a book. Any book.
Color or draw. You don’t need to be an artist. Doodle. Scribble. Something mindless and colorful. Try it for five minutes.
Turn off social media (unless turning it off gives you more anxiety). Not permanently. Turn it off for five minutes. Maybe ten or even fifteen. There is nothing happening online that can’t wait five to fifteen minutes.
Drink a tall glass of iced cold water. Hydration is always the right answer.

Have a good week.

The Mental Health Monday posts for this month will also be crossposted on my Substack.

Mental Health Monday – World on Fire Edition

I don’t even know what’s specifically happening today. I do know that if I go on Threads or turn on the news, I’m going to get a migraine, and I don’t get migraines.

How do we cope with the world around us?

In addition to all this *gestures wildly*, on Tuesday we lost power. It remained off for over twenty hours. No internet, no electricity, no heat.

Our work plans were cancelled. Our dinner plans were cancelled. My daughter’s day off plans in front of Netflix from her cozy bed were cancelled. Fridge barricaded from the kids. Sweaters on.

Our country is at war, our economy is tanking. Gas prices are ridiculous. We have ICE agents in our airports “helping” the TSA, and by helping I mean tackling and detaining folks waiting for their flights. We have airplanes crashing because air traffic controllers are overworked and understaffed. Our government is doing everything in its power (and beyond that) to destroy what we’ve grown and built over the last two hundred fifty years.

We may never recover from this.

The President of the United States posted this week about a combat, Purple Heart receiving veteran, lifelong public servant, and former director of the FBI when it had some prestige that he was glad he was dead. Not condolences for the family. Not we had our disagreements, but I wish his family well. No. Glad he’s dead, good riddance.

His Cabinet lies under oath every time they come in contact with a Congressional hearing.

I’m appalled. I’m repulsed. I’m disgusted.

And I know I’m not the only one.

There is little I can do individually except make my anger, distrust, and contempt for this corrupt administration known. Feckless Republican cowards have let him get away with this treason for too long. They all need to go.

I know how all of this is affecting my mental health. I can only imagine how it affects yours.

Here are some of my thoughts and suggestions for getting through another day:

Breathe.
Turn off the news. Just let it go for twenty-four hours.
Be gentle with yourself. If you simply want to sit and stare at the four walls for ten minutes, sit and stare at the walls for ten minutes.
If you have a porch or balcony, sit on it and watch the neighborhood around you just be. Take that time.
Do something comforting. It could be reading a chapter in that book, eating a bowl of macaroni and cheese, buy some flowers from the supermarket, sing a song from your childhood.
Do one thing every day that is unrelated to the world that gives you comfort. Just one thing. Keep a journal or diary, and you’ll create a go-to for yourself when you need a reminder of distractions that work.

Mental Health Monday – Lent Edition

I’m seeing a lot of concerns and posts on Threads (which is my main source of social media) about suicidal ideation, reaching out, is reaching out a codependency or a cry for help, is it merely speaking your truth “into the void”. I am not suicidal, any more. I am hyperaware of my mental health, and when I feel it diminishing, I reach into my coping tote bag (or toolbox) and see what will work *this time*. (For my story, you can search my tags for /my42, /mental-health) My evergreen go-to is writing, lists, and me time away from work and home. I must admit that I’ve adopted “me time” from my daughter. She is fierce about her space and her alone time, in her private room in the evening, and on her days off. She has taught me so much about how important self-love and self-care is.

As Lent approaches (T-minus two days, one and a half really), again, I have not decided on an item to give up, I have not decided on a spiritual practice to adopt for the next forty days, I have not moved into a Lenten mindset. Home is harried. Work this week is harried. My writing classes and groups that I’ve committed to are harried. And I love all three of them, so my object isn’t to make the times in them go away, or worse or negative for me or the people around me. It looks like it’s time for a few lists.

But lists aren’t the only mental health tool or adaption that I’ll need this week.

I’ll also need time.

We all do.

Even when I was a stay-at-home mom and my kids were in school for most of the day, I still needed to make time, bide my time, reserve my time, reclaim time. How is time simultaneously fleeting and standing still? Of course, it matters what we are doing with those times – vacations speed by, the work day slides along slowly. Paychecks come late,and bills come early.

For the next forty days, we of the Catholic faith will try to be better, with the help of G-d, but truly for ourselves. What can we do to make ourselves better? What can we do to make our lives better? What can we do to make the world better?

Whether you follow the forty days of Lent until the Resurrection of Easter or it’s just almost spring for you, think about how you can rest in yourself, how you can reset, and recover your mental health, to be healthy in ways that work for you.

I’ll return to this subject on Wednesday when Ash Wednesday begins the Lenten season, and I will hopefully have something to add that I’ve come up with for myself.

Until then, do something quiet and peaceful for yourself, and be.

Mental Health Monday – Do What You Can

I try to post these Mental Health Mondays during the awareness months, like mental health awareness in May and suicide prevention awareness now in September, and throughout the year when I’m feeling that I need some reminders and tips to keep moving forward.

In this month of suicide prevention, I do post more about mental health than suicide prevention or ideation. That is mostly because despite the desperate need that brings some of us to the brink of suicide there is also the mental health aspect that affects us all in one way or another, at various times, whether we are officially diagnosed or in therapy for other reasons. We all have those moments that life is just too much.

My suicide ideation came at a difficult time in my life, full of stress and downturns, and other despairs. Or did the stress, downturns, and despair come out because of the suicidal thoughts. Mental health is inextricably linked and often mental health and chemical imbalances result in physical health deteriorating.

I came through it.

You can also come through it.

Some days are better than others, but when the day begins again, each tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to start again, a new opportunity to be better and to make it better, whatever that ‘it’ is in your life.

I’d love to hear some of the ways that you make it through to the next day and begin again.

For some of my ways, look back at the mentalhealthmonday tag; search it in the search box on the left-hand sidebar or click on the tag below.

Let’s help each other. Getting through the tough times is the first step, and every step after that is a success.

Mental Health Monday – A Day Late or Just When It’s Needed?

Last week, I mentioned in my list to put together your mental health toolbox. Each tool will be different for each person. We may use the same techniques sometimes, but we may not use them for the same reasons. One of the reasons I like to share how I cope is to show how much it changes from when the tool is needed.

First, here is the link to a previous post about Coping Skills and a Toolbox: Coping Skills Toolbox. I found this on Tumblr many years ago, and have found it to be a great resource on its own as well as foundational for my own added tools.

Second, this is a graphic from my friend’s facebook:

There are so many ways we can rest, and so many different ways we need to rest that it’s important to have that reminder. I know I often think I’m tired, but my rest isn’t helpful. Perhaps, I’m focusing on the wrong rest.

Third, my old standby is watching Supernatural. Supernatural came into my life at a time of heavy crisis, and it is a comfort show for me. What is your one comfort that you can always return to?

Share any tools that work for you, so we can help each other through the big and little events that turn us upside down and around.

July Mental Health Check-in – Week 2

I feel twisted like a pretzel, trying to get my goals organized and sorted and focus on the many things that need to be done.

Overall, I think I’ve done okay. The one success I can see is not hitting the snooze button. I’m still pressing snooze but not as often. This is definitely a good thing.

I’ve been working on my presentation for next week, and the good news is that all of the work for that is also useful for my book.

I do need to crack down on my Cursillo responsibilities though.

I need to reschedule a couple of medical appointments in the next few weeks, and I need to plan our family vacation.

How did all of you do this week?

Let me know in the comments.

July Mental Health Check-in – Week 1

To start, let me remind you of the plan for July and the Mental Health Check in:

If you’re interested, drop me an email (kbwriting11@gmail.com) with your first name (or what you’d like to be called) and your email, and we’ll do a little email newsletter once a week, just for the people interested.

There is a sign-up, but it is free to join. Let’s see where this takes us, and see if we can support each other in our struggles, whatever they are.

You’ve had twenty hours or so to think about your personal goals for the next four weeks. I’ve thought about mine as well as what I can offer in the weekly emails that will benefit all of us.

I have my first week’s list ready to go with three main items of focus:

1. Book and Program

In two weeks, I am presenting a program on the same topic as my book. I need to finish the slide show, print out the information index cards, prepare the handouts, and try to keep my anxiety from getting the better of me. I’ve wanted to do this, but I also would rather not.

2. Work

Next week is a huge week at work, and Friday;’s a holiday and I’m off for my husband’s birthday, so tomorrow is the day to get as much done for up to Tuesday’s events. I can do this!

3. Cursillo responsibilities

I need to balance the checkbook, attend the July Ultreya, and mail out reimbursement checks.

—– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++

So, there are the lists. The main goal is to get from now to Tuesday, and hopefully be far enough ahead that I can set the goals for the next week.

I suggested scheduled breaks, and that is something I need to remember. Often if I’m in the middle of a project, whether at home or at work, I won’t stop until it’s finished. This is not healthy.

I’m going to use my phone’s alarms to my advantage rather than a crutch. For starters, no snooze for a week. That includes waking alarms and medicine reminders.

How about you?

What are your goals for this week?

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Griffins and Ginger Snaps

-I write, and I have a blog because of course I do-

mental health monday