Mental Health Monday – Awareness Month

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This past Friday, Mental Health Awareness Month began.

I never really thought about my mental health. I had things I felt – anxiety, sadness, too much of this, too little of that, and I never looked further. I was too young, being organized isn’t a bad thing, eating four M&Ms at a time isn’t problematic. The list goes on, and it ranges from what sounds like nonsense to what can grow into real issues, not just for me but for the people around me. My mental health issues don’t fall into illness categories, not everyone’s issues do. Sometimes we dismiss it as idiosyncrasies, or cousin Jane is just like that, it’s a preference. Our mental health affects not only ourselves, but the people around us especially if you live with family or friends, have work colleagues, hobby partners, etc.

Again, until I became suicidal to the point that I noticed a problem and addressed it with my doctor, it was overtaking all of my thoughts. Until then, it fell into the characterization of a shrug, something I do, and something I just live with.

Once I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, I could look back all the way to childhood and see things that I did and felt that I thought were “normal” or things that I was blowing out of proportion with no genuine reason for feeling how I felt. One example of this was when my parents were out of the house. We lived in a split level, so there was a short staircase near the front door, and I sat on those carpeted steps in a heightened state of anxiety waiting for them to get home. Was I six? Ten? No. I think I was sixteen and much too old to be in this state because I was alone in the house. I’m not even sure I was alone in the house – I have two siblings; they may have been home, but it was nighttime, and my parents were not.

I have been on medication since 2012. Medication was not the only answer, but I consider it a large part of my recovery. Medication is not a dirty word; there is nothing to be ashamed of in taking medication to regulate your brain. I take medication for my diabetes and high blood pressure, and no one questions why I take pills instead of just “feeling better” or “calming down”.

Here are five things to do right now or when you wake up or just before you go to bed or whenever you want to do them. You decide what works for you. I was on the phone with someone for my job and I had tried to say something pithy, intelligent, and comforting and what I said was whatever works for you is – *long pause*, well, it’s whatever works for you. I don’t know if it’s intelligent, but it is certainly pithy. It’s also true. I can suggest hundreds of things to do, ways to think, lists upon lists of how to get through the day, but in the end,whatever you decide works for you is what works for you.

Here are those five things that work for me:

  1. Close your eyes and breathe. Through your nose and out of your mouth.
  2. Read a book. Any book.
  3. Color or draw. You don’t need to be an artist. Doodle. Scribble. Something mindless and colorful. Try it for five minutes.
  4. Turn off social media (unless turning it off gives you more anxiety). Not permanently. Turn it off for five minutes. Maybe ten or even fifteen. There is nothing happening online that can’t wait five to fifteen minutes.
  5. Drink a tall glass of iced cold water. Hydration is always the right answer.

Have a good week.

The Mental Health Monday posts for this month will also be crossposted on my Substack.

Mental Health Monday – World on Fire Edition

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I don’t even know what’s specifically happening today. I do know that if I go on Threads or turn on the news, I’m going to get a migraine, and I don’t get migraines.

How do we cope with the world around us?

In addition to all this *gestures wildly*, on Tuesday we lost power. It remained off for over twenty hours. No internet, no electricity, no heat.

Our work plans were cancelled. Our dinner plans were cancelled. My daughter’s day off plans in front of Netflix from her cozy bed were cancelled. Fridge barricaded from the kids. Sweaters on.

Our country is at war, our economy is tanking. Gas prices are ridiculous. We have ICE agents in our airports “helping” the TSA, and by helping I mean tackling and detaining folks waiting for their flights. We have airplanes crashing because air traffic controllers are overworked and understaffed. Our government is doing everything in its power (and beyond that) to destroy what we’ve grown and built over the last two hundred fifty years.

We may never recover from this.

The President of the United States posted this week about a combat, Purple Heart receiving veteran, lifelong public servant, and former director of the FBI when it had some prestige that he was glad he was dead. Not condolences for the family. Not we had our disagreements, but I wish his family well. No. Glad he’s dead, good riddance.

His Cabinet lies under oath every time they come in contact with a Congressional hearing.

I’m appalled. I’m repulsed. I’m disgusted.

And I know I’m not the only one.

There is little I can do individually except make my anger, distrust, and contempt for this corrupt administration known. Feckless Republican cowards have let him get away with this treason for too long. They all need to go.

I know how all of this is affecting my mental health. I can only imagine how it affects yours.

Here are some of my thoughts and suggestions for getting through another day:

  1. Breathe.
  2. Turn off the news. Just let it go for twenty-four hours.
  3. Be gentle with yourself. If you simply want to sit and stare at the four walls for ten minutes,  sit and stare at the walls for ten minutes.
  4. If you have a porch or balcony, sit on it and watch the neighborhood around you just be. Take that time.
  5. Do something comforting. It could be reading a chapter in that book, eating a bowl of macaroni and cheese, buy some flowers from the supermarket, sing a song from your childhood.
  6. Do one thing every day that is unrelated to the world that gives you comfort. Just one thing. Keep a journal or diary, and you’ll create a go-to for yourself when you need a reminder of distractions that work.

Mental Health Monday – Lent Edition

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I’m seeing a lot of concerns and posts on Threads (which is my main source of social media) about suicidal ideation, reaching out, is reaching out a codependency or a cry for help, is it merely speaking your truth “into the void”. I am not suicidal, any more. I am hyperaware of my mental health, and when I feel it diminishing, I reach into my coping tote bag (or toolbox) and see what will work *this time*. (For my story, you can search my tags for /my42, /mental-health) My evergreen go-to is writing, lists, and me time away from work and  home. I must admit that I’ve adopted “me time” from my daughter. She is fierce about her space and her alone time, in her private room in the evening, and on her days off. She has taught me so much about how important self-love and self-care is.

As Lent approaches (T-minus two days, one and a half really), again, I have not decided on an item to give up, I have not decided on a spiritual practice to adopt for the next forty days, I have not moved into a Lenten mindset. Home is harried. Work this week is harried. My writing classes and groups that I’ve committed to are harried. And I love all three of them, so my object isn’t to make the times in them go away, or worse or negative for me or the people around me. It looks like it’s time for a few lists.

But lists aren’t the only mental health tool or adaption that I’ll need this week.

I’ll also need time.

We all do.

Even when I was a stay-at-home mom and my kids were in school for most of the day, I still needed to make time, bide my time, reserve my time, reclaim time. How is time simultaneously fleeting and standing still? Of course, it matters what we are doing with those times – vacations speed by, the work day slides along slowly. Paychecks come late,and bills come early.

For the next forty days, we of the Catholic faith will try to be better, with the help of G-d, but truly for ourselves. What can we do to make ourselves better? What can we do to make our lives better? What can we do to make the world better?

Whether you follow the forty days of Lent until the Resurrection of Easter or it’s just almost spring for you, think about how you can rest in yourself, how you can reset, and recover your mental health, to be healthy in ways that work for you.

I’ll return to this subject on Wednesday when Ash Wednesday begins the Lenten season, and I will hopefully have something to add that I’ve come up with for myself.

Until then, do something quiet and peaceful for yourself, and be.

Mental Health Monday – Do What You Can

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I try to post these Mental Health Mondays during the awareness months, like mental health awareness in May and suicide prevention awareness now in September, and throughout the year when I’m feeling that I need some reminders and tips to keep moving forward.

In this month of suicide prevention, I do post more about mental health than suicide prevention or ideation. That is mostly because despite the desperate need that brings some of us to the brink of suicide there is also the mental health aspect that affects us all in one way or another, at various times, whether we are officially diagnosed or in therapy for other reasons. We all have those  moments that life is just too much.

My suicide ideation came at a difficult time in my life, full of stress and downturns, and other despairs. Or did the stress, downturns, and despair come out because of the suicidal thoughts. Mental health is inextricably linked and often mental health and chemical imbalances result in physical health deteriorating.

I came through it.

You can also come through it.

Some days are better than others, but when the day begins again, each tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to start again, a new opportunity to be better and to make it better, whatever that ‘it’ is in your life.

I’d love to hear some of the ways that you make it through to the next day and begin again.

For some of my ways, look back at the mentalhealthmonday tag; search it in the search box on the left-hand sidebar or click on the tag below.

Let’s help each other. Getting through the tough times is the first step, and every step after that is a success.

Mental Health Monday – A Day Late or Just When It’s Needed?

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Last week, I mentioned in my list to put together your mental health toolbox. Each tool will be different for each person. We may use the same techniques sometimes, but we may not use them for the same reasons. One of the reasons I like to share how I cope is to show how much it changes from when the tool is needed.

First, here is the link to a previous post about Coping Skills and a Toolbox: Coping Skills Toolbox. I found this on Tumblr many years ago, and have found it to be a great resource on its own as well as foundational  for my own added tools.

Second, this is a graphic from my friend’s facebook:

(c)2025

There are so many ways we can rest, and so many different ways we need to rest that it’s important to have that reminder. I know I often think I’m tired, but my rest isn’t helpful. Perhaps, I’m focusing on the wrong rest.

Third, my old standby is watching Supernatural. Supernatural came into my life at a time of heavy crisis, and it is a comfort show for me. What is your one comfort that you can always return to?

Share any tools that work for you, so we can help each other through the big and little events that turn us upside down and around.

July Mental Health Check-in – Week 2

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Pretzel.
(c)2025

I feel twisted like a pretzel, trying to get my goals organized and sorted and focus on the many things that need to be done.

Overall, I think I’ve done okay. The one success I can see is not hitting the snooze button. I’m still pressing snooze but not as often. This is definitely a good thing.

I’ve been working on my presentation for next week, and the good news is that all of the work for that is also useful for my book.

I do need to crack down on my Cursillo responsibilities though.

I need to reschedule a couple of medical appointments in the next few weeks, and I need to plan our family vacation.

How did all of you do this week?

Let me know in the comments.

July Mental Health Check-in – Week 1

round button colored green with three sentences: 1. Ankose 2. Everything is connected 3. Tout est relie
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To start, let me remind you of the plan for July and the Mental Health Check in:

If you’re interested, drop me an email (kbwriting11@gmail.com) with your first name (or what you’d like to be called) and your email, and we’ll do a little email newsletter once a week, just for the people interested.


There is a sign-up, but it is free to join. Let’s see where this takes us, and see if we can support each other in our struggles, whatever they are.


You’ve had twenty hours or so to think about your personal goals for the next four weeks. I’ve thought about mine as well as what I can offer in the weekly emails that will benefit all of us.

I have my first week’s list ready to go with three main items of focus:

1. Book and Program

In two weeks, I am presenting a program on the same topic as my book. I need to finish the slide show, print out the information index cards, prepare the handouts, and try to keep my anxiety from getting the better of me. I’ve wanted to do this, but I also would rather not.

2. Work

Next week is a huge week at work, and Friday;’s a holiday and I’m off for my husband’s birthday, so tomorrow is the day to get as much done for up to Tuesday’s events. I can do this!

3. Cursillo responsibilities

I need to balance the checkbook, attend the July Ultreya, and mail out reimbursement checks.

—– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++ —– +++++

So, there are the lists. The main goal is to get from now to Tuesday, and hopefully be far enough ahead that I can set the goals for the next week.

I suggested scheduled breaks, and that is something I need to remember. Often if I’m in the middle of a project, whether at home or at work, I won’t stop until it’s finished. This is not healthy.

I’m going to use my phone’s alarms to my advantage rather than a crutch. For starters, no snooze for a week. That includes waking alarms and medicine reminders.

How about you?

What are your goals for this week?

Mental Health Monday – July Check-in

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I have struggled throughout June with publishing on this site. I don’t know if I’m too busy, if it’s writer’s block, if there’s just nothing to say – well, there’s plenty to say, but how to say it without insulting, offending, condescending, and pissing people off, that is the question.

But ultimately the real question is how do I evolve my writing while I’m doing other types of writing and work.

I went and returned on a research trip to Montreal, spent the day on Sunday at the Kanatsiohareke Strawberry Festival, this weekend is my husband;s birthday and the next weekend is St. Kateri’s feast day when I will spend the day at the Kateri Shrine, both for pleasure and business. We are planning a family vacation which circumstances caused it to be longer than anyone wants, which sounds great until you have to live it, and I’m about to begin working full-time, and yet, the house will not take care of itself. I say that as someone who has an enormous amount of help from their spouse.

I also fucked up all three of the taxes I filed for myself and two of my kids. I’ve decided to pay someone next year, but how to explain my filing system? *shrug* I’ve got about six months to figure that out!

It’s all still so stressful. Health issues abound. A conflict with a medical receptionist is coming to a head. Bills are piling up, and for the third time I’ve sent paperwork for financial assistance from a group that I need to continue to be nice to.

Some days it’s a hundred degrees, and others it’s sixty-five, and that fluctuation doesn’t help anyone.

I put my first draft together and it’s a lot less than what I thought it was.

So, how do I turn this mental health mountain back into a molehill?

I’m not sure.

And I haven’t even addressed the ongoing dystopian and autocratic nightmare that this country is turning itself into. It’s scary for most of us, but as someone with young adult children and who, with most of their family is Jewish, these are very scary times; times I never expected to witness outside of a history book.

How to Cope?

I’m going to go back to my old standard of lists.

Lists for home.

Lists for writing.

Lists for work.

Lists for kids.

I’m going to give myself some scheduled breaks. Even at work. I can breathe. I can read. I can play a word game on my Kindle. I can visit Starbucks, and I can take a walk to the mailbox.

Any other suggestions welcome.

How about you?

How will you get things done while maintaining your mental health?

How will you focus when your mind only wants to drift? What can you do to get through the days ahead?

Before our family vacation, I am going on retreat in about four weeks or so. Between now and then, and then once after the retreat, I would like to check-in once a week. Let’s say on Wednesday. I’ll post something public, but I’d also like to do something different. If you’re interested, drop me an email (kbwriting11@gmail.com) with your first name (or what you’d like to be called) and your email, and we’ll do a little email newsletter once a week, just for the people interested.

There is a sign-up, but it is free to join. Let’s see where this takes us, and see if we can support each other in our struggles, whatever they are.

For the next twenty or so hours, think about your personal goals for the next four weeks. I’ll think about mine, and also what I can offer in these weekly emails that will benefit all of us.

Breathe deeply and have peace,

KB

Mental Health [Monday] Tuesday

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As I’ve done for previous Mental Health Mondays, this Monday got away from me. And a day late doesn’t end the world. I think that is an important lesson to remember when things in our days get out of hand. I had three things to do yesterday and realized early on that one of them would need to be abandoned. That came with some regret, but I cannot bi-locate (yet) so choices were made. The day was still a time crunch and a lot of driving, but while I didn’t’ get something posted for yesterday, I did remain steadfast in my awareness of my mental health. I knew that I’d need to eat throughout the day. I knew that I’d need to sort out what was for dinner and get the groceries. I knew I needed to plan for the rest of the week, both at home and at work since we’re all “losing” a day to my son’s college commencement. My brother is taking the day off from work to be there, and my daughter is splitting her shift so she can be there and stay for lunch. I should get a cake, but if not, it will be okay since he’s already planning on going to the movies that night with friends. The point is, we all have stuff that comes up in the middle of our carefully laid plans, and how we adapt to them is the basis for how our mental health goes that day and possibly some of the days that follow.

It’s okay to take a break.

We watched Rogue One last night after finishing the Andor series last week, and I only spent time at the very beginning thinking about all the work I needed to be doing on my computer including this post, but I let it go.


Sometimes you can let it go.

And it’s also okay to not be okay.

Take a break.

Read a book.

Watch a movie.

Listen to music.

Stare into space.

It’s all good. Or it will be.

Mental Health Monday – Challenges

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Yesterday was a challenge for many of us: those that have challenging mothers, challenging children, mothers who are absent whether by a choice or by death, and everyone, I mean everyone is wishing any woman in sight a ‘happy mother’s day,’ whether they need to or not. It is the society we live in where every day must mean something extra – Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo, Bosses’ Day, Nurses’ Week, Wednesday is Hump Day. Each day has a bit more to include and sometimes exclude.

So how do we cope when we are challenged by these days?

I try to go with the flow. It’s not always easy. My family asks what I want to do on my day. Where do I want to eat? What do I want them to get me? What do I want to do, all day, every minute of this special, special day?

And I’m grateful, I truly am that they want to actually spend time with me, but on the other hand, I’m the cruise director all year. Every day. I’d like a day off. You know what I like. Just pick a place. Just get a token thing. Sign a card. I really don’t have any requirements. I mean, we like cake, so I’d like a cake. A cupcake is good, too. I love cupcakes. Vanilla cupcake. Vanilla frosting. Rainbow sprinkles. Seriously, I’m boring and easy.

And if you’re not boring, your family knows that too.

If you’re not into the whole eating out thing, order in. Get a pizza.

If you’re not into celebrating, stay home and read a book.

Whatever it is that makes you happy or at least content, make your wishes known.

And if it’s not perfect, they tried…take yourself out on Monday…and don’t tell anyone.

I had an enjoyable Mother’s Day, and when I got irritated, I removed myself from the situation. I walked away. Not in a tantrum, not in a snit, I just left and let the rest of them communicate.

No one’s fault, but my Monday, this morning, was not great. I had a misstep on the last step, the one I fell off two years ago and broke two ribs. I stayed upright this time and slammed myself into the front door. That was actually the plan to keep me upright, and it worked. I did twist my knee, but it’s feeling better as the day goes on.

Then I set up a pickup order at Starbucks. I like their blackberry sage refresher, and I’d like it before they get rid of it for the season. I also got my boss a cherry chai that she had been admiring. I went to pick it up. They didn’t have it. It turned out that I put the order in at a different Starbucks about seven miles away, and in the opposite direction from work.

I texted my boss, apologizing, and saying I’d be late.

Picked up the order, a lovely woman held the door open for me (kudos to her kindness), and I get to work…and my boss can’t have caffeine.

I was then told it is a full moon.

And a Monday.

I always think of Adam West’s Batman on days like this: Sometimes, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.

*shrug*

Let’s hope the rest of the day floats along happily or at least doesn’t sink messily.

A Mama and her Fine Feathered Babys. (c)2025