When I wake up, I have a morning ritual that I do. Obviously, this changes if I have an appointment or a schedule I need to keep, but I usually try to slowly wake up and follow my routine. This consists of taking my morning meds, and then getting on my kindle: games, email, threads, banking, and then I begin my day with breakfast, shower, getting dressed, and lately sitting right down at the computer to get my writing in. I like routines.
The first of the games I go to is The Washington Post’s Quotes. They give you a quote, and you have three chances to guess who the speaker is or what they’re speaking about. It scores between one and five points depending on when you guess, but of course, in the grand scheme of things the points don’t matter. Still, I enjoy getting a five on most days. On Fridays, they give you ten questions so that takes a bit longer.
I woke up yesterday and went to the link, but paused, thinking that I did not have time to do ten questions before I needed to start my day, and so I skipped ahead to Wordle, and planned to get back to the quotes later in the afternoon. It took a few minutes, but in the middle of the puzzle, I realized that it wasn’t Friday, but Tuesday.
It’s only Tuesday?!
How long was Monday?!
How could it not be Friday? Monday was like ten days long!
Monday has been ten days long for about six weeks now. Mondays have been so productive and busy that it feels like a week has gone by when I wake up on Tuesday.
I saw a friend last night, and mentioned this to her, and she agreed and said she has the same phenomenon happen to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one living in a prolonged Monday.
I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.
I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.
I checked my planner and began to write this.
I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.
I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.
Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and today’s first Mental Health Monday is a good time to reassess our mental health. How are we feeling? Are things bothering us more than usual? Do we need to adjust our coping toolbox? Where do we begin, and should we schedule this reassessment periodically throughout the year?
Coming off Easter and spring break, it feels as though life should settle down; at least for a little while. I’ve completed my yearly physical. For families with kids in school, like mine, things are just getting started. The school year is coming to an end. They’ve released the testing schedule, the end of year activities, and for our family, the graduation schedule. For my last child in school, she is also graduating from the vo-tec program in cosmetology so there will be two graduation ceremonies. Plus, prom, senior banquet, visiting the elementary schools, preparing for the state boards, and the actual graduations.
I also have a deadline for an article I’m writing for the local Catholic newspaper about St. Kateri Tekakwitha as well as a presentation that needs completing in the next few weeks (that I haven’t even started yet) for the Cursillo community.
I know we’re not the only ones throwing their calendars across the room in frustration at this time of year.
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I have three suggestions:
Be realistic.
Keep ONE calendar.
Lists, lists, and more lists.
Be Realistic
We think we can do more than we actually have time for. My husband is guilty of this. He forgets that things take longer. The movie starts at 7, it takes 20 minutes to drive there plus finding parking, buying a ticket, finding a seat, and he leaves at 6:45. It can be very frustrating, and when it’s my own lack of planning or time-blindness, it is also frustrating and rage-inducing.
Look at the day, and perhaps segment it. What are the time constraints? What appointments/times are rigid and can’t be flexible or fudged with. Plan for thinking time or just five-minute-sitting time and eating. Get up early for some quiet, me time. Try not to stay up too late. Put off what can be put off.
Keep ONE Calendar
For a long time, I had several calendars: school calendar, personal calendar, dry erase for the fridge, Google on my phone, blog planner, editorial, work calendar.
Something inevitably gets left off one calendar and the whole system collapses.
Currently, I have my base calendar which is a weekly/monthly paper planner. I use the monthly for daily life and the weekly for the website plans and writing deadlines. I use stickers to draw attention to due dates that can be referred to in the weekly section. I also have one electronic calendar (Business Calendar 2 Pro app) that is synched between my kindle and my phone. And that’s it. My family works from my calendar when we must coordinate schedules. For vacation or special long-term projects, I may print out a two-week calendar to follow and plan itineraries on.
Lists, Lists, and More Lists
As you know, I love lists. I created a tri-fold list, sectioned with a vertical calendar to keep a list of obligations, what’s for dinner, and the kids’ work schedules. Other lists in other sections include bills to pay, shopping lists, email/calls to send/make, sectioned items that I can list what needs to be done. This will be different based on individual needs. My sections include the two books I’m writing, the interfaith community and Cursillo community obligations, writing workshop I’m taking, writing class I plan to teach, etc.
Lists you might keep could include staff party at work, this week’s Scriptures or readings, library books to borrow, appointments to make, phone calls, follow-ups, a mantra to inspire and influence your week, and/or whatever you may find helpful and necessary.
I encourage you to share any of your tips in the comments. I also welcome any suggestions for benefiting mental health.
Come back each Monday in May for mental health awareness and talk as well as tools to get through the struggles that arise.
Yesterday, we lost a pioneer and advocate in the mental health awareness field. Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in beginning the fight against mental illness stigma as well as growing the awareness of mental health issues. She openly talked about her depression and spoke out when it would not have been in her best political interest to do so. She, like her husband, President Jimmy Carter always did things in a way that worked within their consciences through their compassion, empathy, and faith to make the world a better place, one project at a time. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity, the Carter Center, peace initiatives, teaching Sunday school, they worked as a team, full partners, supporting each other in both their shared and differing priorities. She was a good and faithful servant and may she receive her reward and rest in peace.
With Thanksgiving coming up this week, many of us are spending the day (or even the weekend) with family we may not see often, and it can be a wonderful day, but it can also be stressful and draining and you want to maintain the strides you’ve already made in your mental health journey. With the death of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, I am reminded that our mental health journey is ongoing, and we can and should refer back to our advocates and mentors as well as those we may not know, but those who have influenced our journeys as Mrs. Carter has done for me, especially with her independence and her openness on her own mental health struggles and journey.
I have five tools that I want to share with you to add to your mental health toolbox, especially for this holiday season.
Whether you’re at your own home or someone else’s, find a safe space where you can go to take a moment to yourself to catch your breath, regroup, and motivate yourself to go back to the social group. If you’re a praying person, this might be a good time to have a prayer or mantra ready to steady your way for the next go round.
Have a plan for your drink choice. Even for those of us who do not have alcohol problems, it’s easier to know what you want to drink. It’s one less thing to think about or umm about. Personally, I’m a fan of Diet Coke and/or ice water. My hot drink is tea. It is also more common to bring your own water bottle to places. Know that it’s also okay to say no, thank you.
It’s okay to sneak off to the bathroom and watch a video on your phone that will settle your anxiety.
Speaking of your phone, it’s also okay to check in with that one person who knows what to say to create a comfortable space for you within the holiday-social responsibility bubble.
Wear something you love. I find that when I’m dressed in my comfort clothes, I feel better about myself, and I project myself better. Part of my own comfort clothes are my mother’s ring, a colorful scarf, a long, cozy sweater, a pin (which can also be a conversation starter if that’s what you want it to be), or my rainbow shoelaces.
Know that the holiday is just one day. You’ll talk, you’ll laugh, you’ll have moments of discomfort, you’ll eat dinner, and it will be over before you know it.
Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, and may the warm feelings carry you through the rest of the year.
Today is the first Monday in October, and that means that Suicide Prevention Awareness month has come to its conclusion. Now that you won’t be inundated with reminders every few tweets or threads to check on your friends, to drink your water, to breathe, it may seem as though you’ve been abandoned at the seashore with friends and neighbors waving you off.
This is not what it is, though.
Without the constant social media buzz, it is still important to remain aware of your mental health. Continue seeing your mental health professionals. Notice if the things you like to do become less fun or you dread starting projects. If you journal, continue writing. If you doodle, continue drawing. If you pray and/or meditate, keep up that practice.
Randomly mark a day on your calendar to see how you’re doing; is your coping toolbox ready for your needs?
Take a mental health inventory on yourself once a week or more if it helps you feel centered.
Check yourself, and check your friends.
The awareness month may have ended, but the awareness doesn’t.
Today is one of those days that needs some extra quiet.
I drove my son to work, and then sat in the car for over 30 minutes, discussing what I wanted to eat for breakfast with myself. Having not really decided, I just sat there. I knew what day it was, but it hadn’t imprinted on my mind yet. When it did, I at least understood my unexplainable melancholy.
In the interim between 2001 and today, I have met and befriended a few people who were there, in lower Manhattan when the World Trade Center fell, who were in one of the buildings when it was hit. We’ve heard stories of friends with near misses, where fate – or providence – kept them from being there that day, and others who found their way home, ghost-like.
I have pangs of guilt, feeling the strong feelings of Nine-Eleven when I wasn’t physically there, but in the ensuing years, I have come to accept and be at one with my own trauma. No, I wasn’t in attendance, but I had been affected more than a previous tourist, visiting once or twice. This was my home. Both of my parents were from the Bronx. I was born in the Bronx and grew up in Queens and on Long Island. At the time of the attacks, we had just returned from visiting my parents and my mother-in-law the day before, crossing the Throgs Neck Bridge, pointing out the New York City skyline to our four-year-old son. We viewed that sight not twenty-four hours before, the same perfect blue sky guiding our way north.
I resent out of state politicians using 9/11 as their fundraising, their inspo-porn, trauma-porn, and call to arms that they have no right to.
For more than a year after, when I traveled on our local highway to the state capital, I would shudder at the sight of a plane flying overhead, sinking lower and lower in the sky as it descended to the airport runway that I was passing. Our house is in the flight path of two small, local airports, and every time a plane flew low, I would have a visceral reaction. I felt that these reactions and feelings were not mine to have – I wasn’t there!
But in a way, I was.
This was my home. These were my people.
And I’ve decided to own my pain and my trauma of that day.
That’s my mental health Monday suggestion this week: don’t let others tell you how to feel. Only you know how you feel, and you should let yourself feel the things. It’s possible that the feelings can be too much, but if that’s the case, seek out a professional. Talking to someone who is a professional can do wonders for your mental health, not only today, but any day.
In trying to find a sub-title for this post, I looked back at my previous posts that related to what’s been going on, and I was kind of pleased to discover that the last time I felt like I’d had a setback was in 2019, in the fall. I know I’ve had moments that go up and down, but this was decidedly different.
I try to be open and talk openly about my struggles and my successes. We all have mental health, and we all must get through any of its manifestations, good, bad, or neutral just like we do when we twist an ankle or get a paper cut.
Today is the last Monday in May – the month for Mental Health Awareness. Mental Health Mondays will be a bit more sporadic, but that doesn’t mean your own awareness of your mental health needs to be. Hopefully, in the last few weeks, I’ve given you some resources to pay attention to how you’re feeling mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and keep moving yourself forward one step at a time.
If you hit a block and need a little support, check out the “mental health” and “mental health monday” tags in the search bar.
Contact a mental health professional. (I am not one. I am simply someone like you, struggling, and trying to stay on top of it.)
All I wanted to do today was to sit in my backyard, in the shade, and listen to the nature: the birds chirping, the chipmunks chattering, bunnies stirring in the grass, and even the kids laughing and the cars driving by. And every hour, I can hear the church bells from over a mile away.
Unfortunately, my kids needed things, and I was the taxi. Once this publishes, I’m going to sit inside in the air conditioning and read a book and then I’m going to join my rosary group on the telephone.
I know how blessed I am.
I also know how fragile the balance is, and so I keep on it through awareness, lists, and the sound of music, whether that’s with instruments, voice, or nature.
Any way I can help, please ask. We are a community and we help one another.
Before I share some of my thoughts and suggestions, I’d like to inform readers that I am not a meditation teacher; I only know things that I’ve practiced in classes and what I’ve been taught as well as what seems to work with me. I have done centering prayer a few times, which I find hard to do for any length of time. Last week, for five days, I joined a Mindful Writing Challenge, which began with a five minute meditation that then proceeded to a writing exercise. I really enjoyed how this made me feel. It calmed me; it set my writing time as definitive; it motivated me to get something on the page. And it was consistent. I’ve used similar breath work from a prayer retreat to settle me in before bed. These are what I’m sharing with you with one or two links.
If you have any reason that you can’t do these breathing techniques or stretching, consult your doctor. You do not want to start ANY exercise program (even if it seems minimal) without checking with your health care professional.
I also want to remind readers that it really is okay to simply sit in silence for five to ten minutes. That’s enough for a recharge.
It’s okay to listen to music.
It’s okay to listen to the rain.
It’s okay to just breathe.
Find your center.
I’ll include the link at the end, but my new Spotify playlist dropped this morning, and it has a few musical selections, some with lyrics, some with only music that may help to calm your mind and let yourself go deeper or simply rest.
Try it out. Keep what works; ignore what doesn’t.
This is a 5 minute video with Elena Cheung. Sometimes it’s not the activity, but the person helping you with it. I played this one, and I really like Elena’s voice and personality. That may seem shallow, but if the person you’re hearing is creating stress for you (through no fault of their own), it’s not going to decrease your stress. Do your own googling to find what you like and what you’re comfortable with.
Another breathing style I learned on retreat is a simple Inhale-Exhale saying the words (prayer), Accept (inhale), Surrender (exhale). My teenage daughter was having a really bad day, and I breathed this with her, and it really did a lot to settle her down so she could get ready for bed.
A new one I learned last week is 4-4-8 technique. Breathe through your nose. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 8.
Sit in a chair with your back straight. Breathe deeply. Inhale slowly. Hold the breath. Exhale slowly. Do this for five to ten minutes.
