I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.
I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.
I checked my planner and began to write this.
I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.
I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.
Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.
As these come up in my life, I notice them more and more. I know that they are idiosyncratic, and some are downright weird, but they are what they are, and I thought I’d share them with you. Please share some of yours in the comments.
I call everything “jelly,” but I never buy jelly. I only buy jam or preserves.
When I add ice to my cup at McDonald’s, I always pour out a couple of cubes.
I only and always eat latkes with applesauce AND sour cream. I also eat them year-round, and more at Passover than at Chanukah.
This isn’t food related, but I put NO Chanukah ornaments on our Christmas tree.
Now that I have a collection of Big Mac Sauce packets, I bring them with me when we go to a local restaurant that has patty melts (which I love) but no Thousand Island dressing.
Food adjacent – I don’t use Saran Wrap. It never works.
I wing cooking but never baking. Baking is too precise.
I won’t eat matzo or gefilte fish after Passover. I may make an exception for matzo brei.
I only eat kosher all beef hot dogs. When people talk about not knowing what’s in their hot dogs, I have no idea what they’re talking about. My hot dogs only have beef, no fillers, no anything else. Also, Mustard only. And sauerkraut when available.
Real NY bagels – never toasted.
I love bagels and lox, but I only eat it on Fridays in Lent.
The only soda I drink is Diet Coke. Not Pepsi, not Coke Zero, not RC.
I have had a recent obsession with peanut butter and bananas – any bread including matzo. (Not pictured English muffin.)
Peanut butter and banana on a Waffle. (c)2024Peanut butter and banana on egg bagel. (c)2024Peanut butter and banana on matzo. (c)2024
Brand names. I am a good tryer of generic and store brand foods. Except:
Cream Cheese – Philadelphia Kraft
Macaroni & Cheese – Kraft in the blue box, 7.25 oz.
Butter – Land O Lakes or Cabot. Exception for Kerrygold when I have the money for it.
Orange Juice – Tropicana or Florida’s Natural
Bachman Jax Cheese Curls only.
Skippy Peanut Butter.
Pretzels – Rold Gold
Hot dog rolls – Martin’s Potato Long Rolls
Craisins – Ocean Spray only
This is also food adjacent: Ziploc bags and Reynold’s Aluminum Foil. Hands down, generic just doesn’t have the same strength.
For my May inspired I thought I would indulge a little. As many know I have been doing a lot of research for my book on St. Kateri, and as I was reminded of in a recent writing class I took, with research you will learn much more than you will actually include in your book, whether that book is fiction or non-fiction, and I have discovered the truth in that. The research that I’ve been doing for this book includes not only St. Kateri’s life before sainthood, but also Mohawk history, the Jesuits in New France, and various aspects of both Catholicism and the longhouse religion as well as many other details that help to inform the writing and the context, something that I’m learning the Jesuits at the time lacked when they spoke of the Native American ways.
I went down one rabbit hole recently that led me to three separate web pages regarding President Ulysses S. Grant’s “Indian Policy,” which was both informative and disheartening. I spent two hours reading, and it will only result in one or two sentences in the entire book.
In discussing 19th century treaties with one of my writing groups, I was sent a recent article on a court case from 2005 that referenced a treaty from 1794. There was also a recent Supreme Court case whose decision was based on a treaty from the 1800s regarding water rights. Another disheartening read as while the Supreme Court agreed that the Native tribe had rights to water, they did not however have the right to have the US government provide said water. Whew! What an acrobatic backflip!
One thing that surprised me in reading about the Jesuit way of converting the Natives to Catholicism was how they dismissed the Haudenosaunee’s spirituality and religious ceremonies when they were already so close to Christianity: a monotheistic society with one Creator, virgin births, miracles, and several other instances of commonalities.
I’ve read five books, two of which had nothing to do with St. Kateri but was wholly about Haudenosaunee Creation and the creation of their confederation and countless journal articles including one comparing the Jesuits’ use of incense to the Native American’s use of sacred fire and smudging. In reading Tom Porter’s book, And Grandma Said…, I have confirmed that we are more alike than we are different. In fact, when he was discussing how he prayed (by talking to his Creator), but was told that was the wrong way to pray by Christians, I was aggravated; that was exactly the way I prayed since childhood – through conversations with my G-d.
As appalled as I’ve been over the years at the treatment of Native Americans by colonialists (and modern people) I have become even more appalled and tell anyone who will listen about these judgments and discrimination foisted upon the Native population here on Turtle Island.
The second time we visited Kahnawake in Quebec, I told our tour guide that I wanted to visit, not only for the St. Kateri information where her tomb was, but also because what my children, who are 27, 19, and 18 have learned of their Iroquois history in 4th grade is the same as I learned in my 4th grade class forty years before that.
I’m reaching out to people with questions. I’m visiting places where Kateri lived both as a child and as a young adult, taking notes, creating lists of questions, looking through land buying archives, borrowing well-worn books out of the library. I’m getting help from places I hadn’t expected and advice on where to look for information. I’ve reached out to an artist for permission to use his art and I’ve signed up for journal access, which fortunately was granted for one month rather than requiring payment for the entire year.
While there is a struggle to find some material, I am reading from Mohawk sources to realize the context and seeing the misunderstandings of the Jesuits towards Kateri’s people. I also believe some of those characterizations were intentional to make Kateri seem more pure, more otherworldly, more worthy of the sainthood they coveted for her future.
My next two research jaunts I’m hoping to make are to the shrines in Fonda, New York and Kahnawake, Quebec to visit their archives. In both cases, I’m hoping the papers are in English rather than French. I also hope to interview one or two people and visit one area’s Strawberry Festival and one area’s Pow-Wow (both of which are open to the public). Those have less to do with Kateri the person and more to do with the Mohawk heritage.
Rabbit holes. They are deep and twisty, and the bucket is often not big enough for what is unearthed.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and today’s first Mental Health Monday is a good time to reassess our mental health. How are we feeling? Are things bothering us more than usual? Do we need to adjust our coping toolbox? Where do we begin, and should we schedule this reassessment periodically throughout the year?
Coming off Easter and spring break, it feels as though life should settle down; at least for a little while. I’ve completed my yearly physical. For families with kids in school, like mine, things are just getting started. The school year is coming to an end. They’ve released the testing schedule, the end of year activities, and for our family, the graduation schedule. For my last child in school, she is also graduating from the vo-tec program in cosmetology so there will be two graduation ceremonies. Plus, prom, senior banquet, visiting the elementary schools, preparing for the state boards, and the actual graduations.
I also have a deadline for an article I’m writing for the local Catholic newspaper about St. Kateri Tekakwitha as well as a presentation that needs completing in the next few weeks (that I haven’t even started yet) for the Cursillo community.
I know we’re not the only ones throwing their calendars across the room in frustration at this time of year.
—– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —– —–
I have three suggestions:
Be realistic.
Keep ONE calendar.
Lists, lists, and more lists.
Be Realistic
We think we can do more than we actually have time for. My husband is guilty of this. He forgets that things take longer. The movie starts at 7, it takes 20 minutes to drive there plus finding parking, buying a ticket, finding a seat, and he leaves at 6:45. It can be very frustrating, and when it’s my own lack of planning or time-blindness, it is also frustrating and rage-inducing.
Look at the day, and perhaps segment it. What are the time constraints? What appointments/times are rigid and can’t be flexible or fudged with. Plan for thinking time or just five-minute-sitting time and eating. Get up early for some quiet, me time. Try not to stay up too late. Put off what can be put off.
Keep ONE Calendar
For a long time, I had several calendars: school calendar, personal calendar, dry erase for the fridge, Google on my phone, blog planner, editorial, work calendar.
Something inevitably gets left off one calendar and the whole system collapses.
Currently, I have my base calendar which is a weekly/monthly paper planner. I use the monthly for daily life and the weekly for the website plans and writing deadlines. I use stickers to draw attention to due dates that can be referred to in the weekly section. I also have one electronic calendar (Business Calendar 2 Pro app) that is synched between my kindle and my phone. And that’s it. My family works from my calendar when we must coordinate schedules. For vacation or special long-term projects, I may print out a two-week calendar to follow and plan itineraries on.
Lists, Lists, and More Lists
As you know, I love lists. I created a tri-fold list, sectioned with a vertical calendar to keep a list of obligations, what’s for dinner, and the kids’ work schedules. Other lists in other sections include bills to pay, shopping lists, email/calls to send/make, sectioned items that I can list what needs to be done. This will be different based on individual needs. My sections include the two books I’m writing, the interfaith community and Cursillo community obligations, writing workshop I’m taking, writing class I plan to teach, etc.
Lists you might keep could include staff party at work, this week’s Scriptures or readings, library books to borrow, appointments to make, phone calls, follow-ups, a mantra to inspire and influence your week, and/or whatever you may find helpful and necessary.
I encourage you to share any of your tips in the comments. I also welcome any suggestions for benefiting mental health.
Come back each Monday in May for mental health awareness and talk as well as tools to get through the struggles that arise.
We spent eclipse weekend in Montreal, Canada. Once we were shut out of Syracuse (too expensive) and Plattsburgh (no room at the – or any – inn), it wasn’t a difficult decision to go a short distance further. I love being that close to the border, and luckily our passports are current.
Because of the research I planned to do while we were up there, I thought we’d pop our chairs down at the park near the Ile de Tekakwitha on the Mohawk territory/Kahnawake. We scoped it out the night before and the parking looked extremely limited, but we were still hopeful. We would decide when the time came. As darkness settled in, we drove out to the main road for dinner – Robbie’s Smokehouse!
On Monday, we woke up bright and early; adventure awaited!
From the top, clockwise: Peanut butter and banana on toast, egg bagel with cream cheese and lox, sweet potato, grilled cheese, Berry French toast bake with strawberry syrup.
We all have foods that we go back to throughout our lives, a lot of them from our childhood. All of the above are in some way, shape or form from my childhood and teen years. My favorite thing as a child, home sick from school, was a soft, buttery sweet potato. I can recall sitting in the darkness of my mother’s bedroom, basking in the soft glow of the television eating this ever so slowly.
Recently, I have become obsessed with peanut butter and bananas. I’ve even slathered on the peanut butter and put a whole banana in the center of the bread and eaten it like a hot dog. A great snack!
Bagels with lox really needs no explanation; nor does grilled cheese. I enjoyed this on a few of my meat-free Fridays during Lent.
This French toast bake is from Cracker Barrel and has a custardy, cheesecake filling on top with whipped cream. Decdadent and delicious. This was a special treat. I am a French toast purist, dipped in egg, griddled, butter, and maple syrup.
In anticipation of Passover, my mouth is already watering when I think about the Matzo-brei that I will make, eat, and share with you here in a few weeks.
In one week from today, North America will experience a total solar eclipse. The path will begin on the Pacific coast of Mexico at 11:07 a.m. PDT (2:07 EDT) and end at the Atlantic coast of Newfoundland, Canada at 5:16 p.m. NDT (3:46 EDT), crossing through several states and provinces of the United States and Canada. My husband has been very excited about this eclipse. I didn’t know how excited until a couple of weeks ago when he said he was going to drive two and a half hours to view it and would I like to come. We made plans and tried to get a hotel room in Syracuse. He always has a list of comic stores and places to visit all around the area, and so we made a plan for the weekend. Unfortunately, the hotels were way too expensive, so new plan. And a change of direction. Now, we’ll go to Plattsburgh. He checked out the comic stores (this is a thing for every trip we take, even visiting family) and I checked out the hotels. They were not too expensive. They were also not available. Not one hotel. They were all booked. What was the difference between Syracuse and Plattsburgh? Totality was my only guess. The amount of totality for Syracuse was 1 minute and 24 seconds while Plattsburgh’s amount of totality was 3 minutes and 33 seconds. Now what would we do?
Plot twist.
Montreal Canada is in the path of totality with a total viewing time of 1 minute and 51.8 seconds and it is only about an hour further north than Plattsburgh. And yes, there are hotels available, and they are significantly cheaper than Syracuse before factoring in the exchange rate.
For anyone considering this, just a reminder that you will need a passport to travel from the United States across the border into Canada, and according to the US Customs and Border Protection and Border Patrol, the border will remain open although agents are expecting higher than normal traffic and delays should be expected.
The article also mentions that despite being legal in both Canada and New York state, marijuana may NOT be transported across the border. The municipality of Niagara on the Canadian side has already declared a state of emergency in preparation for the influx of what they believe will be one million visitors on top of their regular attendance in and around the Falls. Scrolling down to read the article, they offer a list of eight (useful) travel tips with their own links, so check that out.
Once you arrive at your eclipse viewing destination, remember the importance of eclipse glasses. They are special glasses that protect your eyes from the sun’s rays. Regular sunglasses are NOT safe during an eclipse. Do NOT look directly at the sun without special eclipse glasses. Many places are offering them for free, including libraries and (in New York) some Thruway rest areas. I bought mine for $2.49 at Staples.
Be aware of your surroundings. Act as though you would at any vacation destination. Keep your wallet in your front pocket, wear purses across your body, messenger bag style, don’t flash your cash, wear comfortable shoes, dress in layers, follow all laws and ordinances, and pay attention.
Here are some links to help plan your day for the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse:
Easter falls so weirdly on the calendar. Often it is the same week as Passover, which makes sense because Jesus went to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival during what is now Holy Week. But this year, Easter is this Sunday (March 31), and Passover doesn’t begin until nearly a month later, at sundown on April 22. Adding into that is that this is my ten-year anniversary of coming into full communion with the Catholic Church. A decade. So long and so short simultaneously showing truly how the days are long, but the years short.
My Easter Vigil was on April 19, 2014. I’ll celebrate that day as well, attending church, having mass said for special people in my life, and I’ll also be celebrating this week as we welcome new people into the church and our parish. There are two baptisms which I find fraught with emotion. Being able to watch what I went through is both nostalgic and spiritual. I still remember the water being poured over my head, slowly, three times, as the words penetrated my being. I still talk about how my priest used a water pitcher, a small one, but still a pitcher and how in subsequent years it was more like a clam shell. It’s amusing to me until I think about the amount of icy water dripping down my robe, although I guess flowing might be a more apt word. I kneeled in a tub, a literal baby-sized plastic pool while subsequent catechumens were stood over a basin. It is a beautiful, ceramic basin, and I am in part jealous and also awed by watching my own experience play out for others, regardless of the intricacies and the details. My robes were made by my friend. The incense rising on Holy Thursday made the shape of a Jewish star. I pointed it out to my godmother, so I know I didn’t imagine it. The chrism oil from the confirmation smelled of rosemary. I leaned over to my husband and friend and told them to smell my face. It was a pleasant, old-world, feeling of ancestors, and something I’ve only felt a few times, three times during my children’s brises and namings, and on my pilgrimage to Wales and Auriesville. It was doing something as part of something bigger, huge, that often can’t be put into words or even thoughts. It’s not that it’s old, but it’s, as Tevye says in Fiddler on the Roof, “tradition,” where tradition means so much more than the dictionary definition. It’s deeper than the ocean and vaster than the stars. It’s time stood still and it’s time speeding past. A single line or a wibbly-wobbly mush of threads or yarn tightening in some places, loose in others, knotted, and dangling and frayed and worn and strong and sturdy. It is faith, and it is questioning. It is changing and encouragement. It is friendship and relationship and knowing everything and still nothing.
Ten years of prayer, of mass, of rosaries, of devotions, novenas, saints and blessed, seeing beyond and within. When we renew our baptismal vows on Saturday night, I will close my eyes and let the water land where it wills, the cleansing water of G-d, that reminds of the past and prepares for the future.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my observances and views especially since coming across the thoughts of Robin Wall Kimmerer in reconciling her own feelings on her family’s rituals, but also since the terror attacks in Israel on October 7th and the rampant antisemitism since then. I wonder if I should be doing more as a Jewish person. I wonder (for the first time) if I should have converted – it’s not that I don’t believe; I do believe wholeheartedly, but am I betraying the Jewish people? Am I still Jewish to others? *I* know I am still Jewish. I just feel on the outside. I have always felt somewhat on the outside. I’m more religious than some; I’m less than most. Does what I do count? Who decides that?
I have many thoughts, but they are not forming cohesively and rationally. They come in screams and anger and heartbreak. And reflection.
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 