Mental Health Monday – Memorial Day

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Today can be a difficult day for several reasons, the least of which is the shitshow that’s the current US government administration. There are fireworks (triggers for those with PTSD, pets, etc.). There are ceremonies commemorating the dead military of past wars and conflicts. There are mattress and car sales, which often don’t correlate to the reason for today’s day off from work, as well as picnics, parades, and a sea of red, white, and blue.

I’ve had flags on my front lawn for several months and as we move closer to the 250th anniversary of our country’s founding, I wonder if I should keep them up considering the fascism and lawlessness going on at the White House and in Washington, DC.

I did decide to leave them up for this weekend. Memorial Day hits harder than the other patriotic days especially when we are still at war and our “commander-in-chief” is a stark, raving lunatic who collects assassination attempts like my kids collect Pokemon cards.

I will be doing five things to get through the day today, and hope to keep my mental health on an even keel:

  • Wear my protest shirt.
  • Begin reading Heather Cox Richardson’s Democracy Awakening: Notes on the State of America.
  • Spend some time going over my notes from my recent research trip for my book.
  • Spend time in prayer and prepare for my upcoming ten minute presentation.
  • Breathe, drink water, stay off the internet, and draw even if the drawings are doodles and intersecting lines in different bright colors.

What do you suggest for today to protect your mental health?

Mental Health Monday

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Things don’t always go as planned, and that’s okay.

The Mental Health Monday I planned for last Monday never happened.

You may not have noticed because I gave no preview; I’m trying to move away from the previews, but the planning was still there, it was on my calendar, I wanted to publish something weekly during this mental health awareness month – it just never happened.

Part of my mental health is having goals and following through on them, but also part of my mental health is allowing myself grace.

Grace to change my mind.

Grace to miss a deadline, and accept that especially if there’s a good reason.

Grace to let myself take time for myself to have breakfast after a doctor’s appointment and then go to work.

Grace to take my own needs into consideration, to put myself first, to consider my own priorites.

To accept my own importance.

To adjust for my own needs.

To sometimes save my spoons.

My recommendation to you today is to take a moment. Ask yourself what you want from today. Then try to let it happen.

And if it doesn’t…well, there’s always tomorrow.

National Biographer’s Day

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To celebrate, here is a list of five biographers and a few of their recommended books:

  • Darren Bonaparte: A Lily Among Thorns: The Repatriation of St. Kateri Tekakwitha
  • Chester Nez and Judith Schiess Avila: Code Talker: The First and Only Memoir by One of the Original Navajo Code Talkers of WWII
  • Douglas Brinkley: Cronkite
  • Joe Jackson: Black Elk: The Life of an American Visionary
  • Ron Chernow: Washington: A Life
    • Alexander Hamilton
    • Grant

And here are three exceptional memoirs:

  • Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
  • Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted by Suleika Jaouad
  • The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir by Samantha Power

May Inspired

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Below the ‘read more’ cut are a few of the photos I’ve taken in the last couple of weeks. In some ways or others, they’ve captivated me. Whether the shadows playing through the curtains early in the morning or the fairy cave in the garden at work, they drew my eye away from the mundanety of my working day and took me on a journey to far away lands in my own backyard, sometimes literally in my own backyard.

Look deeply at these photos. Notice the colors, the shadows, the nature budding and growing, and in one case, its season ending while our spring is just beginning.

In the last photo, I saw the Empire State Building and the new World Trade Center (my name for it, if not its official title). The blue sky, the shining grey buildings, the sparkling water between our bridge and the island of Manhattan. It is a bittersweet scene. If you’ve read my thoughts here for awhile, you’ll know that on September 10th we were crossing this bridge heading home from a weekend with our family on Long Island. The next day changed everything for everyone.

Onward, though. Onward.

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Mental Health Monday – Awareness Month

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This past Friday, Mental Health Awareness Month began.

I never really thought about my mental health. I had things I felt – anxiety, sadness, too much of this, too little of that, and I never looked further. I was too young, being organized isn’t a bad thing, eating four M&Ms at a time isn’t problematic. The list goes on, and it ranges from what sounds like nonsense to what can grow into real issues, not just for me but for the people around me. My mental health issues don’t fall into illness categories, not everyone’s issues do. Sometimes we dismiss it as idiosyncrasies, or cousin Jane is just like that, it’s a preference. Our mental health affects not only ourselves, but the people around us especially if you live with family or friends, have work colleagues, hobby partners, etc.

Again, until I became suicidal to the point that I noticed a problem and addressed it with my doctor, it was overtaking all of my thoughts. Until then, it fell into the characterization of a shrug, something I do, and something I just live with.

Once I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, I could look back all the way to childhood and see things that I did and felt that I thought were “normal” or things that I was blowing out of proportion with no genuine reason for feeling how I felt. One example of this was when my parents were out of the house. We lived in a split level, so there was a short staircase near the front door, and I sat on those carpeted steps in a heightened state of anxiety waiting for them to get home. Was I six? Ten? No. I think I was sixteen and much too old to be in this state because I was alone in the house. I’m not even sure I was alone in the house – I have two siblings; they may have been home, but it was nighttime, and my parents were not.

I have been on medication since 2012. Medication was not the only answer, but I consider it a large part of my recovery. Medication is not a dirty word; there is nothing to be ashamed of in taking medication to regulate your brain. I take medication for my diabetes and high blood pressure, and no one questions why I take pills instead of just “feeling better” or “calming down”.

Here are five things to do right now or when you wake up or just before you go to bed or whenever you want to do them. You decide what works for you. I was on the phone with someone for my job and I had tried to say something pithy, intelligent, and comforting and what I said was whatever works for you is – *long pause*, well, it’s whatever works for you. I don’t know if it’s intelligent, but it is certainly pithy. It’s also true. I can suggest hundreds of things to do, ways to think, lists upon lists of how to get through the day, but in the end,whatever you decide works for you is what works for you.

Here are those five things that work for me:

  1. Close your eyes and breathe. Through your nose and out of your mouth.
  2. Read a book. Any book.
  3. Color or draw. You don’t need to be an artist. Doodle. Scribble. Something mindless and colorful. Try it for five minutes.
  4. Turn off social media (unless turning it off gives you more anxiety). Not permanently. Turn it off for five minutes. Maybe ten or even fifteen. There is nothing happening online that can’t wait five to fifteen minutes.
  5. Drink a tall glass of iced cold water. Hydration is always the right answer.

Have a good week.

The Mental Health Monday posts for this month will also be crossposted on my Substack.