Organizing for Parents

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There are so many items out there for parents to choose from for organizing their nurseries, their cars, their travel, their diaper bags that I don’t know how we get through it with our bank accounts still intact. Some things that I found were new at the time of my first born in 1997 that are now more or less standard on the lists for new parents. For example, we decided to skip the infant car seat/carrier for a convertible car seat that would last throughout our baby’s toddlerhood. What we hadn’t anticipated was that our son would be born small: 3lbs. 11oz. He swam in the convertible car seat. He swam in the infant car seat that we eventually got. “Eventually” being on the way home from the hospital and stopping at a Toys R Us to get him a more appropriately sized (and safer) car seat.

I bought many parenting books. I can’t really recommend any of the new ones as I haven’t used any of them, but the two I found the most invaluable were What to Expect When You’re Expecting and What to Expect The First Year. The toddler one was great for looking up symptoms of things and checking on developmental progression, but any of these should be used in conjunction with your pediatrician who you trust.

For our first we also had a bassinet AND a crib. We set up an entire nursery for him that he never slept in. Partly that was due to his size and need to eat throughout the night. Ultimately, we used our Graco Pack N Play as a crib most of the time. Our other two slept in our room for nearly a year, using a crib or the Pack N Play. As they get older, toddler beds are nice, but unnecessary. We used mattresses on the floor when we had two toddlers simultaneously.

Space is also a consideration. We had three kids in a two-bedroom apartment. I didn’t think much of it. When I was young, my family was comprised of three kids in a two-bedroom apartment. It was tight, and we had a storage facility for seasonal items and things we just couldn’t fit in a garden apartment with no real storage space. The polite description was that it was cozy.

We had a toddler and an infant, so a double stroller (with a car seat) was a must-have.

Some other must-haves:

  1. Sectioned diaper bags as well as a fold-up changing pad that would also function as a holder for a couple of diapers and pack of wipes to “grab & go.” You don’t always need to drag the diaper bag into every place. I also like a diaper bag that has a section just for mom: wallet, keys, sunglasses, cell phone (at a minimum) and then you don’t need to carry a purse. You’re doing enough juggling. My favorite diaper bag was one that attached easily onto the stroller. Easy to get into and it converted into a shoulder or crossbody bag for carrying.
  2. Stroller for expeditions like the mall or playground. If for nothing else, the bottom basket is great for coats, hats, diaper bag or changing pouch. I always bought attachable cup holders for my and my baby’s drinks. Most strollers have these as part of the set-up now.
  3. Snacks. If your toddler is old enough to hold it, a small plastic container works. If you’ll be doling out the snacks onto a tray, a Ziploc bag works just as well. Both can be reused.
  4. Baby Wipes. Buy the biggest pack. It will never be too many.
  5. Bibs. But not the tiny, cutesy ones that match the outfit. They’re almost useless unless you have a very drooly baby. For eating, plastic (to wipe down easily) with a pocket to catch the food. Velcro, not tie or snap.
  6. Highchair is a judgment call. We didn’t have the space for a highchair, but we did buy a portable and adjustable highchair seat. This worked just as well as a full-size highchair and could be put away when not in use. It could also travel with us when we went to Grandma’s house, which was fairly often and to restaurants, which was less so.
  7. Baskets & Open bins for easy clean-up. Store them on the bottom of a bookshelf (although make sure that the bookshelf is secured to the wall or built in) or line up in front of a wall. Even toddlers can help put things away when it’s this simple.
  8. Unless you find that your baby is fussy, you do not need a baby wipe warmer. You do, however, need a diaper pail that will deodorize the contents.
  9. A small dish drain for baby’s bottles, pacifiers, teethers, so you’re not digging through all of last night’s dishes for what you need.
  10. Towel with a hood to wrap baby up after a bath. Dries them and keeps them warm before the jammies go on.

Comments are open for questions and suggestions.

Organizing the Organization

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Wherever you look, wherever you are in the material world, in retail shops, online, and just looking around at the dining room table clutter (but that might just be me), the world is telling you to declutter and organize your stuff, from kitchenware to linen closets to offices to the stuff on top of the sofa (again, that might just be me). And amidst the clutter shaming, they tell you that they have just the right tools for you to organize not only your stuff, but the stuff your stuff goes into – organizing the organization.

Deals to Look For

I don’t know if this is still true, but the best deal on bins is at Target after Halloween. They have orange and black bins (that no one wants) for ridiculously cheap prices – less than $5 for a big bin.

Another great deal to know about is Back to School Shopping has the best deals the week after Fourth of July. Watch the ads, especially Staples. One other note, since the recession (2008), there has been almost no restocking. When they run out, it’s gone. That holds true for most things, not just back to school.

If you’re looking for a television, wait until the weeks before the Super Bowl.

Most importantly, only get what you’ll use in the next three months. You don’t need enough laundry detergent (despite what the ad says) to last through the apocalypse or Zombie invasion. The exception to this is toilet paper. After the pandemic, we always have a large package of toilet paper in reserve, so we never run out.

Where Do You Put that Stuff?

I have bins, baskets, folders, bags for this, bags for that, and what worked yesterday doesn’t always work today. It doesn’t help that I have organization envy to go along with my stationery/office supply envy. Awareness is the first step, and since my kids no longer have back to school supply shopping (everything is done on computers and laptops and Chromebooks), I’ve have been slowly going through withdrawal and mourning those days when I would spend hours (yes, hours) walking up and down each aisle in the school supply sections of Target and Walmart, and yes, even Walgreens and CVS, not to mention Staples, searching for the perfect notepad, the calendar that would get me through the year despite my proclivity to find a “better” one, a “prettier” one, one that was perfect for now, so I changed and added, and rewrote all of the information.

I finally broke myself of this financial-draining and self-defeating habit a few years ago with my calendar/planner. I used to have two (or more): One for my personal/family plans, one for my writing plans, and sometimes one for my lesson plans as a teacher, and none of the twain shall meet. At that time, however, I realized that I never used the weekly section for family plans. I might have repeated what was already on the month, but I never looked at it. That was when I decided to combine my two main calendars: family plans on the monthly section, blog plans on the weekly section, the current week tabbed with a magnetic bookmark. I’ve done this for awhile now, and it works very well. When I see a new planner that I’m drawn to, whether it’s the style, color, or organizational advantages, I walk away. I have a planner through December 31, and I am not spending money on another one. Maybe I can get that one next year. And yes, I save them all in a box in case I want to look back on blog posts even though I know I never will.

I am trying to whittle down the things I have and use to be more consistent and less wasteful. I know that as a writer, I will never run out of notebooks, journals, pens, and the like, and don’t get me started on printing, photocopies, and handouts. Although, I am in the process of reducing all of that.

This year, apart from my computer files and external hard drive, I have three main organizational items that I use regularly. They’re great for at home, they’re great for travel. Two were gifts from my husband, one for my birthday and one for Christmas: a document holder and a folio (both pictured below). I mean, I know that psychologically they make me feel more professional and think that I’ve got my act together, but still.

So…what are the main things you need for organizing your stuff.

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Mental Health Monday – Holiday Edition

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I know technically it’s Friday, but hasn’t every day this week been a Monday?

Holiday time is a struggle without the added anxiety of an anxiety disorder. Or any other mental health issue for that matter. For our family, our annual struggle to get things done has been compounded by my bout of covid which I promptly shared with my husband. Thankfully, my quarantine is over and his should end this weekend, just in time for our oldest to come for dinner. It’s a never-ending dance of “what’s for dinner?”, “when is the tree going up?*”, “we missed the last two nights of Chanukah; now what?”, and of course, the ever perennial, “who’s missing Christmas presents?”, and towards me “what to do you want for Christmas?” with the genuine answer of nothing, I have enough. I’m at an age in my life that I’m looking to eliminate the clutter and focus on what’s important right now to me. I’d rather spend time with my kids even if we’re just sitting together watching TV or reading a book.

But…no one came here to read about my-world-specific tensions. We all have our own to concern ourselves with.

Here are five suggestions that you might try to settle your mind, and if you have your own that work for you, please share them below in comments. Mental health is something that affects all of us, and we are in this together. For each other, with one another. A community if you will.

  1. Take a breath. Stop and take a breather. Sometimes that’s all you need.
  2. Journal. Stop and write down what’s affecting you. Sometimes getting out the frustrations in a positive way can get rid of the holiday blues for that moment.
  3. Can you go to your happy place for 15 minutes. A nearby park bench. A coffee shop. Window shop.
  4. Lists. You know I swear by lists. They organize but they also show me the big picture and they let me prioritize so I’m not in a constant state of forgetting something.
  5. Reward yourself. When you finish [this hard task], give yourself a reward: an episode of a favorite television show, read a book chapter, play a word game online or on paper, grab a cup of coffee or tea. Listen to the radio for 15 minutes.

The holidays should bring joy or should at least not make things worse. Remember to take care of yourself. It can be for as little as five minutes to reset your mood and get back on track.

And there’s nothing wrong with a midday nap. Try it out.

Advent Wreath.
(c)2023

*We did manage to get our tree up with one child setting it up, and one putting on the lights. We’ll put the ornaments on tomorrow when we’re all together.*

Mental Health Monday – We Give Thanks

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Yesterday, we lost a pioneer and advocate in the mental health awareness field. Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in beginning the fight against mental illness stigma as well as growing the awareness of mental health issues. She openly talked about her depression and spoke out when it would not have been in her best political interest to do so. She, like her husband, President Jimmy Carter always did things in a way that worked within their consciences through their compassion, empathy, and faith to make the world a better place, one project at a time. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity, the Carter Center, peace initiatives, teaching Sunday school, they worked as a team, full partners, supporting each other in both their shared and differing priorities. She was a good and faithful servant and may she receive her reward and rest in peace.

From The Carter Center

Rosalynn Carter Tribute Page

Rosalynn Carter at The Carter Center.

With Thanksgiving coming up this week, many of us are spending the day (or even the weekend) with family we may not see often, and it can be a wonderful day, but it can also be stressful and draining and you want to maintain the strides you’ve already made in your mental health journey. With the death of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, I am reminded that our mental health journey is ongoing, and we can and should refer back to our advocates and mentors as well as those we may not know, but those who have influenced our journeys as Mrs. Carter has done for me, especially with her independence and her openness on her own mental health struggles and journey.

I have five tools that I want to share with you to add to your mental health toolbox, especially for this holiday season.

  1. Whether you’re at your own home or someone else’s, find a safe space where you can go to take a moment to yourself to catch your breath, regroup, and motivate yourself to go back to the social group. If you’re a praying person, this might be a good time to have a prayer or mantra ready to steady your way for the next go round.
  2. Have a plan for your drink choice. Even for those of us who do not have alcohol problems, it’s easier to know what you want to drink. It’s one less thing to think about or umm about. Personally, I’m a fan of Diet Coke and/or ice water. My hot drink is tea. It is also more common to bring your own water bottle to places. Know that it’s also okay to say no, thank you.
  3. It’s okay to sneak off to the bathroom and watch a video on your phone that will settle your anxiety.
  4. Speaking of your phone, it’s also okay to check in with that one person who knows what to say to create a comfortable space for you within the holiday-social responsibility bubble.
  5. Wear something you love. I find that when I’m dressed in my comfort clothes, I feel better about myself, and I project myself better. Part of my own comfort clothes are my mother’s ring, a colorful scarf, a long, cozy sweater, a pin (which can also be a conversation starter if that’s what you want it to be), or my rainbow shoelaces.

Know that the holiday is just one day. You’ll talk, you’ll laugh, you’ll have moments of discomfort, you’ll eat dinner, and it will be over before you know it.

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, and may the warm feelings carry you through the rest of the year.

National Scavenger Hunt Day

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Long time readers know of my affinity of the annual GISH scavenger hunt. I had opted out of last summer’s, and wouldn’t you know – that was the last one. I know Misha Collins, the actor who started that hunt has been pulled in too many directions, and he finally decided that last year would be the last. This has led me to two ideas.

The first is to honor the legacy of fun with a quick hunt today. It’s similar to one that I’ve done with my kids when we were on vacation. How that one was set up was that they each got a small bag, like a party goody bag that among other things included a journal, a pen, and a photocopied list of things to look for. It gave them something to do in the car, and it reduced the complaint, of “I’m bored.” At the time, my kids ranged in age from 10 to 19.

Below (and on the Download page found in the sidebar), you will find a colorful sheet to print out for your own hunt. The directions are at the bottom, and you can add your own items to the back if you like. Below that, I have just the list if you’d prefer your list to fit on a quarter sheet of paper or for emailing.

The second thought I had was to have my own scavenger hunt during the traditional week that GISH is held: July 30 through August 6. I’m still working out the details, but here is a preview of the logo I’m creating.

My idea is to post two items per day (perhaps 16-20 items). You can put your “entries” in the comments on either the main post or the individual item posts. I’m not going to judge anything, but I will draw a random name from the participants for a small prize (still working out the items and the prize). That person will receive an e-gift card and to receive the prize must consent to share their email with me. (I will not sell or share their information with any third parties.)

Enjoy today’s mini-hunt and I look forward to seeing everyone at the end of July for the hunt-that-has-no-name-yet.

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Mental Health Monday – Overwhelmed?

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I don’t know about you, but at the very end of Passover and Easter, I crash mentally. There is still so much to do, but it’s not scheduled between multiple church visits per day and cooking from scratch for Passover most nights, I still have to continue with life. And until this coming Thursday, everyone in the house is working, and we’re trying to save money by not eating out, even cheap fast food, which isn’t so cheap anymore.

I have returned to my lists (especially for today and the rest of this week), and on days like today, I needed a very specific list to make sure I hit every place I needed without too many, if any, U-turns.

The first thing I would recommend is a multi-level list when you’re beginning to get overwhelmed:

Draw a horizontal line across the middle of a piece of any-size paper, and then draw two columns from the top to that middle line.

Like this:

Fig. 1
(c)2023

The left is for the must-do’s, the right is for the would-like-to-do’s, and the bottom is for everything else. I’d also draw a line on the bottom right for a running shopping list.

I’ll give you an example for today and tomorrow.

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March. Inspire?

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The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

Coco Chanel

One thing about dates on the calendar is that the days change. I’ve been thinking that today is the National Day of Unplugging, but it turns out that it was this past Friday. Rather than being set on March 6th, it seems to be actually on the first Friday in March. It doesn’t really change the topic for today for me since my whole point in bringing up this National Day of Unplugging is to disavow it and suggest that perhaps unplugging isn’t right for everyone.

There is no firm one thing that works for everyone. We are all different and we handle our stresses differently. We use different tools to work through the stresses of our days and go about our work and play. Sometimes, that means unplugging for an extended period of time, but being plugged in isn’t necessarily a bad thing for everyone.

I do certainly agree that screen time should be limited for children, but I also think that if older kids and adults of any age get their entertainment from being plugged in, then don’t shame them for it.

During the pandemic, we were told to stay offline since we were spending so much time online with our work and school being on screens constantly. For me, this was not tenable to my contentment or mental health. I use an e-reader for about 90% of my reading. I get my news from Twitter (and now from Spoutible). How is checking Twitter news different from turning on the television and watching the news on that screen? I would rather play Solitaire on my Kindle than with the cards on my table (which by the way has no room for the cards to be laid out). How are podcasts worse than listening to an audiobook? Music videos vs. music audio?

The rule of thumb should definitely be everything in moderation, but guilting someone for enjoying themselves is not okay in my book.

Some of us are also neurodivergent and need the stimulation that comes from the online world and the very real friendships we’ve forged and fostered there.

Today alone, I’ve used either my Kindle of my laptop for the following, and it’s not even noon yet:

  • Checked and answered email – both personal and professional
  • Zoom meeting for Cursillo grouping
  • Rechecked my church website for the date of the Lenten Penance Service to add to my calendar
  • Set up tomorrow’s Zoom for the Scripture Study for the Month of March
  • Balanced my checkbook
  • Read a chapter in Lady Justice by Dahlia Lithwick
  • Posted to Instagram for Bring Your Action Figure To Work Day – go check it out – link’s on the sidebar
  • Did a bit of the research for Friday Food which will publish at the end of this week

I couldn’t have done half of these things without plugging in. No guilt trips welcome here.


Purple chair and ottoman by window, in hotel room, striped throw pillow on seat, side table on the right, dresser with lamp on the left.
My plans to be once I publish this piece.
(c)2023

Black American Heroes of History

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Follow the link to read about 31 Black American Heroes of History**

In this link, you will find:

  • Shirley Chisholm
  • Bayard Rustin
  • Claudette Colvin
  • Annie Lee Cooper
  • Dorothy Height
  • Jesse Owens
  • Bessie Coleman
  • Robert Sengstacke Abbott
  • Ethel Waters
  • Gwendolyn Brooks
  • Alice Coachman
  • Gordon Parks
  • Jane Bolin
  • Maria P. Williams
  • Marsha P. Johnson
  • Minnie Riperton
  • Ruby Bridges
  • Mae Jemison
  • Marian Anderson
  • Rose Marie McCoy

** Please note: The article is titled 31 Black American Heroes of History. However, when I read the article they only list 20.

Mental Health Monday – John Fetterman Edition

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It’s extremely difficult to ask for help. No matter how big or small the problem, for many of us our reaction is often, “I’m good, I can do it, It’s fine.” Is it really? Whether we like to admit it or not, this can be more difficult for men, especially a man who is considered the head of his family, who just went through a health crisis, who is adjusting to unexpected changes in diet and lifestyle, who is being ridiculed for seeking help for a serious medical issue, whose family is mocked for nothing more than being his family, who went through a tough political race, and began a new job mere weeks ago.

It’s a lot.

It can be a lot without all of that going on.

For myself, I ignored a lot of my anxiety and depression. It didn’t occur to me that there was a problem. When you feel that something is off and search for help (today through Google), the wrong questions are asked. Do you skip out on work? Do you sleep a lot? Do you want to harm yourself? If your answers are no, you’re fine.

But you’re not.

I’m talking about myself, and not suggesting any of this is true for Senator Fetterman. Please don’t use this as an implication to some secret knowledge or diagnosis of the Senator. It’s not.

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St. Brigid’s Day

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As promised on Instagram, a list of St. Brigid‘s symbols in the above sketch.

  1. St. Brigid’s Cloak – she is said to have been at the birth of Jesus and wrapped him in her cloak. Her cloak has also been told to have grown when offered land for her monastery the size of her cloak. I seem to recall that I’ve also heard her cloak referred to as the night sky with constellations shining on or through it. (I will need to search out my notes and return later this week when I find it – I need it to be true!)
  2. A mug of beer. St. Brigid is known to have turned water into beer, including a lake.
  3. The Triskele. Not only a symbol of Brigid, but the triskele is a triple spiral, often meaning the three roads of life: past, present, future. It may also reference the Holy Trinity.
  4. A Shepherd’s Crook or Bishop’s Crozier. Brigid is considered to have done the works of a Bishop in her position as Abbess of the monastery at Kildare. She led masses and preached.
  5. Medieval-style Goose. She is often depicted with geese as well as cows.

One of my favorite books about St. Brigid is: Brigid’s Cloak: An Ancient Irish Story by Bryce Milligan, illustrated by Helen Cann