Or not.
I didn’t bring my sweater.
I don’t need my sweater, but a covering is part of my security. I can put it on to hide and take it off to be open. No one knows this; it’s just for me.
What’s important to you is important to you.
It’s okay to have stuff just for you.
And it’s okay to be not okay.
Have the best day you can today.
When I wake up, I have a morning ritual that I do. Obviously, this changes if I have an appointment or a schedule I need to keep, but I usually try to slowly wake up and follow my routine. This consists of taking my morning meds, and then getting on my kindle: games, email, threads, banking, and then I begin my day with breakfast, shower, getting dressed, and lately sitting right down at the computer to get my writing in. I like routines.
The first of the games I go to is The Washington Post’s Quotes. They give you a quote, and you have three chances to guess who the speaker is or what they’re speaking about. It scores between one and five points depending on when you guess, but of course, in the grand scheme of things the points don’t matter. Still, I enjoy getting a five on most days. On Fridays, they give you ten questions so that takes a bit longer.
I woke up yesterday and went to the link, but paused, thinking that I did not have time to do ten questions before I needed to start my day, and so I skipped ahead to Wordle, and planned to get back to the quotes later in the afternoon. It took a few minutes, but in the middle of the puzzle, I realized that it wasn’t Friday, but Tuesday.
It’s only Tuesday?!
How long was Monday?!
How could it not be Friday? Monday was like ten days long!
Monday has been ten days long for about six weeks now. Mondays have been so productive and busy that it feels like a week has gone by when I wake up on Tuesday.
I saw a friend last night, and mentioned this to her, and she agreed and said she has the same phenomenon happen to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one living in a prolonged Monday.
FYI today is Wednesday.
I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.
I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.
I checked my planner and began to write this.
I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.
I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.
Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.
As these come up in my life, I notice them more and more. I know that they are idiosyncratic, and some are downright weird, but they are what they are, and I thought I’d share them with you. Please share some of yours in the comments.
I call everything “jelly,” but I never buy jelly. I only buy jam or preserves.
When I add ice to my cup at McDonald’s, I always pour out a couple of cubes.
I only and always eat latkes with applesauce AND sour cream. I also eat them year-round, and more at Passover than at Chanukah.
This isn’t food related, but I put NO Chanukah ornaments on our Christmas tree.
Now that I have a collection of Big Mac Sauce packets, I bring them with me when we go to a local restaurant that has patty melts (which I love) but no Thousand Island dressing.
Food adjacent – I don’t use Saran Wrap. It never works.
I wing cooking but never baking. Baking is too precise.
I won’t eat matzo or gefilte fish after Passover. I may make an exception for matzo brei.
I only eat kosher all beef hot dogs. When people talk about not knowing what’s in their hot dogs, I have no idea what they’re talking about. My hot dogs only have beef, no fillers, no anything else. Also, Mustard only. And sauerkraut when available.
Real NY bagels – never toasted.
I love bagels and lox, but I only eat it on Fridays in Lent.
The only soda I drink is Diet Coke. Not Pepsi, not Coke Zero, not RC.
I have had a recent obsession with peanut butter and bananas – any bread including matzo. (Not pictured English muffin.)
Brand names. I am a good tryer of generic and store brand foods. Except:
For my May inspired I thought I would indulge a little. As many know I have been doing a lot of research for my book on St. Kateri, and as I was reminded of in a recent writing class I took, with research you will learn much more than you will actually include in your book, whether that book is fiction or non-fiction, and I have discovered the truth in that. The research that I’ve been doing for this book includes not only St. Kateri’s life before sainthood, but also Mohawk history, the Jesuits in New France, and various aspects of both Catholicism and the longhouse religion as well as many other details that help to inform the writing and the context, something that I’m learning the Jesuits at the time lacked when they spoke of the Native American ways.
I went down one rabbit hole recently that led me to three separate web pages regarding President Ulysses S. Grant’s “Indian Policy,” which was both informative and disheartening. I spent two hours reading, and it will only result in one or two sentences in the entire book.
In discussing 19th century treaties with one of my writing groups, I was sent a recent article on a court case from 2005 that referenced a treaty from 1794. There was also a recent Supreme Court case whose decision was based on a treaty from the 1800s regarding water rights. Another disheartening read as while the Supreme Court agreed that the Native tribe had rights to water, they did not however have the right to have the US government provide said water. Whew! What an acrobatic backflip!
One thing that surprised me in reading about the Jesuit way of converting the Natives to Catholicism was how they dismissed the Haudenosaunee’s spirituality and religious ceremonies when they were already so close to Christianity: a monotheistic society with one Creator, virgin births, miracles, and several other instances of commonalities.
I’ve read five books, two of which had nothing to do with St. Kateri but was wholly about Haudenosaunee Creation and the creation of their confederation and countless journal articles including one comparing the Jesuits’ use of incense to the Native American’s use of sacred fire and smudging. In reading Tom Porter’s book, And Grandma Said…, I have confirmed that we are more alike than we are different. In fact, when he was discussing how he prayed (by talking to his Creator), but was told that was the wrong way to pray by Christians, I was aggravated; that was exactly the way I prayed since childhood – through conversations with my G-d.
As appalled as I’ve been over the years at the treatment of Native Americans by colonialists (and modern people) I have become even more appalled and tell anyone who will listen about these judgments and discrimination foisted upon the Native population here on Turtle Island.
The second time we visited Kahnawake in Quebec, I told our tour guide that I wanted to visit, not only for the St. Kateri information where her tomb was, but also because what my children, who are 27, 19, and 18 have learned of their Iroquois history in 4th grade is the same as I learned in my 4th grade class forty years before that.
I’m reaching out to people with questions. I’m visiting places where Kateri lived both as a child and as a young adult, taking notes, creating lists of questions, looking through land buying archives, borrowing well-worn books out of the library. I’m getting help from places I hadn’t expected and advice on where to look for information. I’ve reached out to an artist for permission to use his art and I’ve signed up for journal access, which fortunately was granted for one month rather than requiring payment for the entire year.
While there is a struggle to find some material, I am reading from Mohawk sources to realize the context and seeing the misunderstandings of the Jesuits towards Kateri’s people. I also believe some of those characterizations were intentional to make Kateri seem more pure, more otherworldly, more worthy of the sainthood they coveted for her future.
My next two research jaunts I’m hoping to make are to the shrines in Fonda, New York and Kahnawake, Quebec to visit their archives. In both cases, I’m hoping the papers are in English rather than French. I also hope to interview one or two people and visit one area’s Strawberry Festival and one area’s Pow-Wow (both of which are open to the public). Those have less to do with Kateri the person and more to do with the Mohawk heritage.
Rabbit holes. They are deep and twisty, and the bucket is often not big enough for what is unearthed.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and today’s first Mental Health Monday is a good time to reassess our mental health. How are we feeling? Are things bothering us more than usual? Do we need to adjust our coping toolbox? Where do we begin, and should we schedule this reassessment periodically throughout the year?
Coming off Easter and spring break, it feels as though life should settle down; at least for a little while. I’ve completed my yearly physical. For families with kids in school, like mine, things are just getting started. The school year is coming to an end. They’ve released the testing schedule, the end of year activities, and for our family, the graduation schedule. For my last child in school, she is also graduating from the vo-tec program in cosmetology so there will be two graduation ceremonies. Plus, prom, senior banquet, visiting the elementary schools, preparing for the state boards, and the actual graduations.
I also have a deadline for an article I’m writing for the local Catholic newspaper about St. Kateri Tekakwitha as well as a presentation that needs completing in the next few weeks (that I haven’t even started yet) for the Cursillo community.
I know we’re not the only ones throwing their calendars across the room in frustration at this time of year.
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I have three suggestions:
Be Realistic
We think we can do more than we actually have time for. My husband is guilty of this. He forgets that things take longer. The movie starts at 7, it takes 20 minutes to drive there plus finding parking, buying a ticket, finding a seat, and he leaves at 6:45. It can be very frustrating, and when it’s my own lack of planning or time-blindness, it is also frustrating and rage-inducing.
Look at the day, and perhaps segment it. What are the time constraints? What appointments/times are rigid and can’t be flexible or fudged with. Plan for thinking time or just five-minute-sitting time and eating. Get up early for some quiet, me time. Try not to stay up too late. Put off what can be put off.
Keep ONE Calendar
For a long time, I had several calendars: school calendar, personal calendar, dry erase for the fridge, Google on my phone, blog planner, editorial, work calendar.
Something inevitably gets left off one calendar and the whole system collapses.
Currently, I have my base calendar which is a weekly/monthly paper planner. I use the monthly for daily life and the weekly for the website plans and writing deadlines. I use stickers to draw attention to due dates that can be referred to in the weekly section. I also have one electronic calendar (Business Calendar 2 Pro app) that is synched between my kindle and my phone. And that’s it. My family works from my calendar when we must coordinate schedules. For vacation or special long-term projects, I may print out a two-week calendar to follow and plan itineraries on.
Lists, Lists, and More Lists
As you know, I love lists. I created a tri-fold list, sectioned with a vertical calendar to keep a list of obligations, what’s for dinner, and the kids’ work schedules. Other lists in other sections include bills to pay, shopping lists, email/calls to send/make, sectioned items that I can list what needs to be done. This will be different based on individual needs. My sections include the two books I’m writing, the interfaith community and Cursillo community obligations, writing workshop I’m taking, writing class I plan to teach, etc.
Lists you might keep could include staff party at work, this week’s Scriptures or readings, library books to borrow, appointments to make, phone calls, follow-ups, a mantra to inspire and influence your week, and/or whatever you may find helpful and necessary.
I encourage you to share any of your tips in the comments. I also welcome any suggestions for benefiting mental health.
Come back each Monday in May for mental health awareness and talk as well as tools to get through the struggles that arise.
What do you keep in your toolbox?
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 