coping tools

Mental Health Monday – Do What You Can

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I try to post these Mental Health Mondays during the awareness months, like mental health awareness in May and suicide prevention awareness now in September, and throughout the year when I’m feeling that I need some reminders and tips to keep moving forward.

In this month of suicide prevention, I do post more about mental health than suicide prevention or ideation. That is mostly because despite the desperate need that brings some of us to the brink of suicide there is also the mental health aspect that affects us all in one way or another, at various times, whether we are officially diagnosed or in therapy for other reasons. We all have those  moments that life is just too much.

My suicide ideation came at a difficult time in my life, full of stress and downturns, and other despairs. Or did the stress, downturns, and despair come out because of the suicidal thoughts. Mental health is inextricably linked and often mental health and chemical imbalances result in physical health deteriorating.

I came through it.

You can also come through it.

Some days are better than others, but when the day begins again, each tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to start again, a new opportunity to be better and to make it better, whatever that ‘it’ is in your life.

I’d love to hear some of the ways that you make it through to the next day and begin again.

For some of my ways, look back at the mentalhealthmonday tag; search it in the search box on the left-hand sidebar or click on the tag below.

Let’s help each other. Getting through the tough times is the first step, and every step after that is a success.

Mental Health Monday – Coping Tool: Supernatural

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As I mentioned yesterday, Supernatural is my go-to for mindless background, white-noise when I want sound, but not anything to concentrate on.

I’m reminded of this more this week as Supernatural celebrates its 20th anniversary and I celebrate just over a decade in recovery through depression and anxiety. Mental health wellness is a continuum rather than a cure, and having our coping tools to help us through the rough patches is one of the keys.

We survive.

What are some of your go-to’s for coping?

Mental Health Monday – July Check-in

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I have struggled throughout June with publishing on this site. I don’t know if I’m too busy, if it’s writer’s block, if there’s just nothing to say – well, there’s plenty to say, but how to say it without insulting, offending, condescending, and pissing people off, that is the question.

But ultimately the real question is how do I evolve my writing while I’m doing other types of writing and work.

I went and returned on a research trip to Montreal, spent the day on Sunday at the Kanatsiohareke Strawberry Festival, this weekend is my husband;s birthday and the next weekend is St. Kateri’s feast day when I will spend the day at the Kateri Shrine, both for pleasure and business. We are planning a family vacation which circumstances caused it to be longer than anyone wants, which sounds great until you have to live it, and I’m about to begin working full-time, and yet, the house will not take care of itself. I say that as someone who has an enormous amount of help from their spouse.

I also fucked up all three of the taxes I filed for myself and two of my kids. I’ve decided to pay someone next year, but how to explain my filing system? *shrug* I’ve got about six months to figure that out!

It’s all still so stressful. Health issues abound. A conflict with a medical receptionist is coming to a head. Bills are piling up, and for the third time I’ve sent paperwork for financial assistance from a group that I need to continue to be nice to.

Some days it’s a hundred degrees, and others it’s sixty-five, and that fluctuation doesn’t help anyone.

I put my first draft together and it’s a lot less than what I thought it was.

So, how do I turn this mental health mountain back into a molehill?

I’m not sure.

And I haven’t even addressed the ongoing dystopian and autocratic nightmare that this country is turning itself into. It’s scary for most of us, but as someone with young adult children and who, with most of their family is Jewish, these are very scary times; times I never expected to witness outside of a history book.

How to Cope?

I’m going to go back to my old standard of lists.

Lists for home.

Lists for writing.

Lists for work.

Lists for kids.

I’m going to give myself some scheduled breaks. Even at work. I can breathe. I can read. I can play a word game on my Kindle. I can visit Starbucks, and I can take a walk to the mailbox.

Any other suggestions welcome.

How about you?

How will you get things done while maintaining your mental health?

How will you focus when your mind only wants to drift? What can you do to get through the days ahead?

Before our family vacation, I am going on retreat in about four weeks or so. Between now and then, and then once after the retreat, I would like to check-in once a week. Let’s say on Wednesday. I’ll post something public, but I’d also like to do something different. If you’re interested, drop me an email (kbwriting11@gmail.com) with your first name (or what you’d like to be called) and your email, and we’ll do a little email newsletter once a week, just for the people interested.

There is a sign-up, but it is free to join. Let’s see where this takes us, and see if we can support each other in our struggles, whatever they are.

For the next twenty or so hours, think about your personal goals for the next four weeks. I’ll think about mine, and also what I can offer in these weekly emails that will benefit all of us.

Breathe deeply and have peace,

KB

Mental Health Monday – Focus

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I made a small graphic thinking about what helps me focus when things get to be too much.

(c)2025

I began to think about where I begin my mental health awareness. How do I become self-aware and how do I keep on track and moving forward?

These four squares came to me in simple ways. They are both simple and entrenched in my way of being. They are my touchstones. They are not necessarily yours. You will find your own touchstones and ways to cope with whatever comes up daily.

In a similar vein, I’d like to share an exercise that I did on a recent retreat with the Dominican Sisters. The main topic was time and how time affects our priorities and ways we can use to change them and shift where we spend our time. While this retreat wasn’t geared towards mental health and awareness of mental health, time plays an important role in how we perceive our mental health challenges and push and pull until we’re being intentional with our time and our mental health, emphasis on health.

Below I explain the exercise, and hope to come back to it in a couple of weeks. I plan to think my own choices and perhaps begin again.

Continue reading

Mental Health Awareness Month

Green rubber bracelet with the words: Mental Health Awareness Month, resting on a wooden, finger labyrinth
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An Overview of the Month Ahead

Today is the first of May. It is the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month.

Mental Health Awareness Month has several facets. The two that I find most helpful are

  1. make the outside world aware of what mental health is, what struggles we all face, what can be more difficult struggles some of us face, and letting go of the stigma, encouraging talk and sharing coping tools.
  2. Make yourself aware of your own mental health. Where do you struggle? What are some of your coping plans and tools for getting through a rough patch? Or even just an annoyingly mediocre patch? What’s in your toolbox that still works for you?

In other words, assess yourself, share your struggles, challenges, and successes and be there for others in explaining mental health, coping, and the ongoing recovery. Be there for yourself and for others. Some days you can only do one of those, and that’s okay.

Beginning on Monday, I will be publishing a weekly column called Mental Health Monday. I have done many of these throughout the previous several years. Search through the tags to see older but still valuable approaches and coping tools. Sometimes, we forget and rereading and reestablishing some of them again is a valuable tool.

Reassessment in recovery, I find, is ongoing.

None of the strategies and coping tools that I post this month are intended to suggest you forego medication alternatives. I take medication – both prescription and supplemental, all with my doctor’s input and approval. I wouldn’t be here without medication. Don’t let anyone shame you for taking care of yourself. Just like getting from point A to point B, there are many different roads to travel. Very rarely is there just one way, and one (or more) of them is the right way for you. Changing direction is okay, too.

Recognizing a better way and adapting.

Just as a counter has a take a penny, leave a penny dish, in mental health, take a strategy, leave a strategy.

We are all here to help each other.

The tag “mental health monday” is your dish to choose from.

I’ve always thought of my depression, anxiety, and mental health struggles as a journey – a period of recovery with no tangible cure; only moving forward in my mental health, my mental space, my mental recovery.

This is my path and sometimes we cross paths. This is us crossing paths and offering insight, motivation, and ways to keep getting through.

Mental Health Monday – Onward

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Today is the first Monday in October, and that means that Suicide Prevention Awareness month has come to its conclusion. Now that you won’t be inundated with reminders every few tweets or threads to check on your friends, to drink your water, to breathe, it may seem as though you’ve been abandoned at the seashore with friends and neighbors waving you off.

This is not what it is, though.

Without the constant social media buzz, it is still important to remain aware of your mental health. Continue seeing your mental health professionals. Notice if the things you like to do become less fun or you dread starting projects. If you journal, continue writing. If you doodle, continue drawing. If you pray and/or meditate, keep up that practice.

Randomly mark a day on your calendar to see how you’re doing; is your coping toolbox ready for your needs?

Take a mental health inventory on yourself once a week or more if it helps you feel centered.

Check yourself, and check your friends.

The awareness month may have ended, but the awareness doesn’t.

You are not alone.

We are all in this together.

Mental Health Monday – Onward

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Today is the last Monday in May – the month for Mental Health Awareness. Mental Health Mondays will be a bit more sporadic, but that doesn’t mean your own awareness of your mental health needs to be. Hopefully, in the last few weeks, I’ve given you some resources to pay attention to how you’re feeling mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and keep moving yourself forward one step at a time.

If you hit a block and need a little support, check out the “mental health” and “mental health monday” tags in the search bar.

Contact a mental health professional. (I am not one. I am simply someone like you, struggling, and trying to stay on top of it.)

All I wanted to do today was to sit in my backyard, in the shade, and listen to the nature: the birds chirping, the chipmunks chattering, bunnies stirring in the grass, and even the kids laughing and the cars driving by. And every hour, I can hear the church bells from over a mile away.

Unfortunately, my kids needed things, and I was the taxi. Once this publishes, I’m going to sit inside in the air conditioning and read a book and then I’m going to join my rosary group on the telephone.

I know how blessed I am.

I also know how fragile the balance is, and so I keep on it through awareness, lists, and the sound of music, whether that’s with instruments, voice, or nature.

Any way I can help, please ask. We are a community and we help one another.

Mental Health Monday – Doodles & Scribbles

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Sometimes, you just need a mindless break. But some of those mindless breaks can actually be mindful.

Yesterday, after mass, and the May crowning, and then praying the rosary in the garden there, I came home to my husband and daughter heading out for some Mother’s Day shopping, and I opted to stay home. What did I do with myself?

I sketched and I colored and I read.

The reading was a heavy, emotional book, and the coloring helped me through the traumatic chapter. As you can see from the photo, I wasn’t able to finish the coloring page. I plan to do some more tonight.

In addition to the sketches, I’ve included photos from this week. When I was in the depths of my depression, I’d drive a little bit and take photographs. At that time, my focus was on church architecture and really old cemeteries where the names were barely visible. Today, I take photos of nearly anything that catches my eye.

Drop some of your art and photos into the comments. And remember to breathe.

Mental Health Awareness Month

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Celebrate what you want to see more of.

– Tom Peters

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m not sure if that’s meant to be that we should be aware of the mental health struggles going on for the people around us and to give some space and grace or if it’s also supposed to be for ourselves to recognize our own struggles and be aware and self-aware of our own mental health and the triggers as well as the coping tools we carry with us on a daily basis.

It is so appropriate that today of all days, the first of May, and the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month that my day got unexpectedly set on its head. It was nothing outlandish or incapacitating, but change is hard, especially for people like me who like their lists and like their day mostly planned out.

Today was my non-day. I was going to sleep in late and then attend to the mess that is my dining room table. That’s where I work and the last two weeks have been filled with so many things the table got away from me. Again. As always. And then I was to tackle the list my daughter and I made last night.

I awoke to a poke in my side and my son standing over me.

Son: Do you want to drive me to school?

Me: Do I want to drive you to school? No. But I will, I laughed. When do you need to be there?

Son: 2 minutes.

Needless to say while his school is not far, it is also not two minutes away.

His regular ride hadn’t come and he couldn’t reach him by phone. These things happen. Of course, growing up a not-popular, bullied kid, my first reaction is to wonder if they’re still friends because his friend can’t have simply overslept or forgot; he must hate my son for some unknown reason and now they’re no longer friends. I did not express any of this out loud. Even in my internal despair for my kids, I know how irrational this is.

I did break the land-speed record for getting dressed and got to the car. He drove. He was a few minutes late, but he drove under the speed limit; he’s a careful driver and he’s still learning. (As an aside, he’s the exact opposite of my daughter who is also learning to drive – she drives a bit faster, stops a bit too slow, and just is more cavalier about the whole thing. Not that she’s unsafe; she’s not, but their personalities really show through on their driving styles.)

Once he was at school, I could go straight home and begin work (and know that I’d get nothing written) or make a different plan.

I made a different plan.

I grabbed breakfast through the drive-thru, and went to the library, where I am currently sitting in the new local history room typing on my Kindle.

I could have let the sudden change defeat me, I could have gone back home, curled up on the sofa, and went back to sleep, and it would have still been okay. Even though I was interrupted, I had planned on sleeping late. I could have gone back to sleep and not even felt an ounce of guilt. I could have started over tomorrow and that also would have been okay. But I made a different choice, and that was because I reevaluated my day, my priorities, and my mental health.

I admit to being hyper self-aware of how I’m feeling and what my triggers are when they happen, but you can recognize the things that set you off down a path of stress and anxiety and readjust. Use your tools. Think about what tools you have in your own mental health toolbox. Some of mine that I used today include:

1. Take a deep breath and reevaluate. In today’s scenario, I wasn’t able to do that until my son was dropped off at school, so I sat in the parking lot for five minutes to regroup (and readjust the mirrors).

2. Did I want to buy breakfast or eat at home? If I ate at home (whether or not I bought breakfast), would I be able to eat and then seamlessly move into my day’s work? I didn’t think so.

3. What were my alternatives?
a. Eat at McDonald’s (or elsewhere)?
b. Eat in the car?
c. Eat somewhere else?
d. I chose to eat in the car and then drive to the library.

4. I found a nice quiet corner in a new room and I’m writing.

5. Before I leave, I’ll make the plan for the rest of the day. Dinner, two kids off to work, put my teaching stuff in storage until the end of summer. It’s not much, but it’s doable, and today that’s the most important part. My list would include a master of everything that needs to be done, and then sort out what is the most important and what can be done easily and quickly.

And of course, all of these coping tools and compromises will depend on how stressed and anxious you are. I have an underlying anxiety about not having a therapist. I think I’ve decided to look for another one because it was helpful, but is that because of seeing a therapist or seeing that therapist for eleven years? I’ll need to figure that out.

Every Monday this month will be a Mental Health Monday on the website, and there will be other posts throughout the month talking about mental health – yours and mine. I am always happy to give voice to the readers so if you have something that works for you, please add it in the comments. While this isn’t a social media, it is a community, and especially where mental health is concerned, we need to support one another for wherever we are in our continuing journeys.

Awareness is half the battle.

Mental Health Monday – Mental Health Awareness Month

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

Each Monday from now until the second week in June will be the Mental Health Monday series with suggestions, resources, and coping tools. I would love for you to share what works for you in the comments, and I can gather them together for a future post for others.
It is more important than ever to be aware of our mental health, what triggers we face, and how to cope and overcome some of the difficulties.

Awareness is especially relevant in today’s world while we struggle through this unprecedented global pandemic with new surprises popping up every day in all aspects of our lives.

Today, instead of working on a more detailed first post, I was taking care of my own mental health, enjoying Star Wars with my family, eating comfort food (Kraft Macaroni & Cheese), praying the rosary, seeing my son for the first time in a long time, and most importantly, ignoring Twitter. Sometimes you just need to know when to stop and step away, and for me, that was today.

I have three resources to offer you today:

NAMI – National Association of Mental Illness

My own COVID-19 Mental Health and Crisis Information During the Pandemic Post
Wil Wheaton – he is very open about his depression and anxiety and many of his personal essays are helpful, even if only for knowing that you are not alone.