I feel twisted like a pretzel, trying to get my goals organized and sorted and focus on the many things that need to be done.
Overall, I think I’ve done okay. The one success I can see is not hitting the snooze button. I’m still pressing snooze but not as often. This is definitely a good thing.
I’ve been working on my presentation for next week, and the good news is that all of the work for that is also useful for my book.
I do need to crack down on my Cursillo responsibilities though.
I need to reschedule a couple of medical appointments in the next few weeks, and I need to plan our family vacation.
To start, let me remind you of the plan for July and the Mental Health Check in:
If you’re interested, drop me an email (kbwriting11@gmail.com) with your first name (or what you’d like to be called) and your email, and we’ll do a little email newsletter once a week, just for the people interested.
There is a sign-up, but it is free to join. Let’s see where this takes us, and see if we can support each other in our struggles, whatever they are.
You’ve had twenty hours or so to think about your personal goals for the next four weeks. I’ve thought about mine as well as what I can offer in the weekly emails that will benefit all of us.
I have my first week’s list ready to go with three main items of focus:
1. Book and Program
In two weeks, I am presenting a program on the same topic as my book. I need to finish the slide show, print out the information index cards, prepare the handouts, and try to keep my anxiety from getting the better of me. I’ve wanted to do this, but I also would rather not.
2. Work
Next week is a huge week at work, and Friday;’s a holiday and I’m off for my husband’s birthday, so tomorrow is the day to get as much done for up to Tuesday’s events. I can do this!
3. Cursillo responsibilities
I need to balance the checkbook, attend the July Ultreya, and mail out reimbursement checks.
So, there are the lists. The main goal is to get from now to Tuesday, and hopefully be far enough ahead that I can set the goals for the next week.
I suggested scheduled breaks, and that is something I need to remember. Often if I’m in the middle of a project, whether at home or at work, I won’t stop until it’s finished. This is not healthy.
I’m going to use my phone’s alarms to my advantage rather than a crutch. For starters, no snooze for a week. That includes waking alarms and medicine reminders.
I have struggled throughout June with publishing on this site. I don’t know if I’m too busy, if it’s writer’s block, if there’s just nothing to say – well, there’s plenty to say, but how to say it without insulting, offending, condescending, and pissing people off, that is the question.
But ultimately the real question is how do I evolve my writing while I’m doing other types of writing and work.
I went and returned on a research trip to Montreal, spent the day on Sunday at the Kanatsiohareke Strawberry Festival, this weekend is my husband;s birthday and the next weekend is St. Kateri’s feast day when I will spend the day at the Kateri Shrine, both for pleasure and business. We are planning a family vacation which circumstances caused it to be longer than anyone wants, which sounds great until you have to live it, and I’m about to begin working full-time, and yet, the house will not take care of itself. I say that as someone who has an enormous amount of help from their spouse.
I also fucked up all three of the taxes I filed for myself and two of my kids. I’ve decided to pay someone next year, but how to explain my filing system? *shrug* I’ve got about six months to figure that out!
It’s all still so stressful. Health issues abound. A conflict with a medical receptionist is coming to a head. Bills are piling up, and for the third time I’ve sent paperwork for financial assistance from a group that I need to continue to be nice to.
Some days it’s a hundred degrees, and others it’s sixty-five, and that fluctuation doesn’t help anyone.
I put my first draft together and it’s a lot less than what I thought it was.
So, how do I turn this mental health mountain back into a molehill?
I’m not sure.
And I haven’t even addressed the ongoing dystopian and autocratic nightmare that this country is turning itself into. It’s scary for most of us, but as someone with young adult children and who, with most of their family is Jewish, these are very scary times; times I never expected to witness outside of a history book.
How to Cope?
I’m going to go back to my old standard of lists.
Lists for home.
Lists for writing.
Lists for work.
Lists for kids.
I’m going to give myself some scheduled breaks. Even at work. I can breathe. I can read. I can play a word game on my Kindle. I can visit Starbucks, and I can take a walk to the mailbox.
Any other suggestions welcome.
How about you?
How will you get things done while maintaining your mental health?
How will you focus when your mind only wants to drift? What can you do to get through the days ahead?
Before our family vacation, I am going on retreat in about four weeks or so. Between now and then, and then once after the retreat, I would like to check-in once a week. Let’s say on Wednesday. I’ll post something public, but I’d also like to do something different. If you’re interested, drop me an email (kbwriting11@gmail.com) with your first name (or what you’d like to be called) and your email, and we’ll do a little email newsletter once a week, just for the people interested.
There is a sign-up, but it is free to join. Let’s see where this takes us, and see if we can support each other in our struggles, whatever they are.
For the next twenty or so hours, think about your personal goals for the next four weeks. I’ll think about mine, and also what I can offer in these weekly emails that will benefit all of us.
When we were in Montreal last August, we were driving down one of the city’s streets on our way to Notre Dame Cathedral. It was our first time visiting the cathedral – it had been closed the year before when we tried. I was looking out the window – I’m always on the lookout for an unusual picture, and I saw a giant bird. Was that a bird? I asked my family. I think that was a dodo bird. I don’t know how I knew it was a dodo bird, but they thought I was seeing things. One google search showed that I wasn’t. It was really there. When we went last week, I made sure to put the dodo bird on my list of things to take a picture of.
It did not disappoint.
Most of the trip was to do research for the book I’m writing about St. Kateri Tekakwitha, and while I wasn’t able to look at documents, I did speak to some people, attended two masses, and received a wealth of information – all of it inspiring. The second mass was a surprise, and the priests were two traveling priests who said mass for the four of us in the church at the time. The homily was about Mary at the crucifixion, and I was moved to tears by not only this man’s words, his sermon, his preaching, but his excitement. He was just thrilled to be talking to us about our mother, Mary. It was a beautiful thing.
On our last day, we went to see the original burial place of St. Kateri, which is marked by an empty tomb (cenotaph) in Sainte-Catherine. I had been there before; this was the first Kateri place in Canada that I had been to initially, but I wanted some photos closer to the water that flowed behind the shrine. Water is important in the story of Kateri’s people and where they located their villages. I got there, and I stood for a moment, just looking around. I was overcome with the scent of flowers. It was so strong, like lilies or hyacinth. Hyacinth has that very strong, powerful, flowery aroma.
I looked around to find where the strong smell was coming from, but there was nothing. There were flowers, pines, grass, and a shrub or two. I even put my face into some of the colorful flowers that were budding there, but none of them gave off that smell. Nothing there could explain the scent. As one of my writing colleagues said the other night maybe St. Kateri was communicating something to me. She was called the Lily of the Mohawk, so maybe they were right. Whatever caused that remarkable moment I may never know, but it remains inspiring and wonderful all the same.
As I’ve done for previous Mental Health Mondays, this Monday got away from me. And a day late doesn’t end the world. I think that is an important lesson to remember when things in our days get out of hand. I had three things to do yesterday and realized early on that one of them would need to be abandoned. That came with some regret, but I cannot bi-locate (yet) so choices were made. The day was still a time crunch and a lot of driving, but while I didn’t’ get something posted for yesterday, I did remain steadfast in my awareness of my mental health. I knew that I’d need to eat throughout the day. I knew that I’d need to sort out what was for dinner and get the groceries. I knew I needed to plan for the rest of the week, both at home and at work since we’re all “losing” a day to my son’s college commencement. My brother is taking the day off from work to be there, and my daughter is splitting her shift so she can be there and stay for lunch. I should get a cake, but if not, it will be okay since he’s already planning on going to the movies that night with friends. The point is, we all have stuff that comes up in the middle of our carefully laid plans, and how we adapt to them is the basis for how our mental health goes that day and possibly some of the days that follow.
It’s okay to take a break.
We watched Rogue One last night after finishing the Andor series last week, and I only spent time at the very beginning thinking about all the work I needed to be doing on my computer including this post, but I let it go.
Yesterday was a challenge for many of us: those that have challenging mothers, challenging children, mothers who are absent whether by a choice or by death, and everyone, I mean everyone is wishing any woman in sight a ‘happy mother’s day,’ whether they need to or not. It is the society we live in where every day must mean something extra – Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo, Bosses’ Day, Nurses’ Week, Wednesday is Hump Day. Each day has a bit more to include and sometimes exclude.
So how do we cope when we are challenged by these days?
I try to go with the flow. It’s not always easy. My family asks what I want to do on my day. Where do I want to eat? What do I want them to get me? What do I want to do, all day, every minute of this special, special day?
And I’m grateful, I truly am that they want to actually spend time with me, but on the other hand, I’m the cruise director all year. Every day. I’d like a day off. You know what I like. Just pick a place. Just get a token thing. Sign a card. I really don’t have any requirements. I mean, we like cake, so I’d like a cake. A cupcake is good, too. I love cupcakes. Vanilla cupcake. Vanilla frosting. Rainbow sprinkles. Seriously, I’m boring and easy.
And if you’re not boring, your family knows that too.
If you’re not into the whole eating out thing, order in. Get a pizza.
If you’re not into celebrating, stay home and read a book.
Whatever it is that makes you happy or at least content, make your wishes known.
And if it’s not perfect, they tried…take yourself out on Monday…and don’t tell anyone.
I had an enjoyable Mother’s Day, and when I got irritated, I removed myself from the situation. I walked away. Not in a tantrum, not in a snit, I just left and let the rest of them communicate.
No one’s fault, but my Monday, this morning, was not great. I had a misstep on the last step, the one I fell off two years ago and broke two ribs. I stayed upright this time and slammed myself into the front door. That was actually the plan to keep me upright, and it worked. I did twist my knee, but it’s feeling better as the day goes on.
Then I set up a pickup order at Starbucks. I like their blackberry sage refresher, and I’d like it before they get rid of it for the season. I also got my boss a cherry chai that she had been admiring. I went to pick it up. They didn’t have it. It turned out that I put the order in at a different Starbucks about seven miles away, and in the opposite direction from work.
I texted my boss, apologizing, and saying I’d be late.
Picked up the order, a lovely woman held the door open for me (kudos to her kindness), and I get to work…and my boss can’t have caffeine.
I was then told it is a full moon.
And a Monday.
I always think of Adam West’s Batman on days like this: Sometimes, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.
*shrug*
Let’s hope the rest of the day floats along happily or at least doesn’t sink messily.
New dragonfly earrings. New Spring Things for my Desk – Living on the Hedge. Forsythia in Vase. Cardinal in my backyard. It stayed a long time. (c)2025
Carla Hayden, who was set to complete her term next year has been fired by the President as part of his rampage against “DEI” and “woke ideology”. [Those terms are in quotations because I feel the White House and many Republicans in Congress do not understand what those words mean, nor do they understand the function of the LIbrary of Congress.] The White House Press Secretary claimed it was for putting inappropriate books on the shelves for children. Anyone who understands how the Library of Congress operates (clearly not the Press Secretary or the President), understands that the LIbrary of Congress is not a circulating library. Research is done there, books do not leave the building, and children do not use the library other than to visit and see how the library operates.
The Library of Congress is responsible for receiving two of every book published. Every. Book. This is a function of its role in administering copyright law. It is the oldest federal cultural institution in the country, and has been known to be apolitical to the point that Ms. Hayden is only the fourteenth librarian since 1802.
I made a small graphic thinking about what helps me focus when things get to be too much.
(c)2025
I began to think about where I begin my mental health awareness. How do I become self-aware and how do I keep on track and moving forward?
These four squares came to me in simple ways. They are both simple and entrenched in my way of being. They are my touchstones. They are not necessarily yours. You will find your own touchstones and ways to cope with whatever comes up daily.
In a similar vein, I’d like to share an exercise that I did on a recent retreat with the Dominican Sisters. The main topic was time and how time affects our priorities and ways we can use to change them and shift where we spend our time. While this retreat wasn’t geared towards mental health and awareness of mental health, time plays an important role in how we perceive our mental health challenges and push and pull until we’re being intentional with our time and our mental health, emphasis on health.
Below I explain the exercise, and hope to come back to it in a couple of weeks. I plan to think my own choices and perhaps begin again.
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 