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Mental Health Monday

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It’s hard to believe that this is the first MHM of the new year. And it’s the second week of February. It goes without saying that we probably could have used a mental health check and break long  before today with everything going on in the world.

I’m becoming someone I don’t like. Uncaring. Inflexible. Intolerant. Angry. Vengeful.

This Administration is beyond appalling, and the spiderweb of fissions emanating out from the center of it will have lasting ramifications long after he and his corrupt associates are gone, dead, and buried.

We think the government is so big, but the reality is that while we can trim the fate from excessive spending, there are reasons for some of it.

One example: USAID. Funds ceased. Employees laid off or furloughed. Those people won’t be able to pay bills, rent, mortgages. Those companies will then not be able to pay their bills. And what about where the funds go? Kids across the globe will not receive schooling, medicine, safe water to drink, healthy food to eat. Shelter. And even if you don’t care about the world’s children, what about the Midwest farmers who will lose billions of dollars in lost revenue because USAID is no longer paying them for their products. Those people have their own kids to feed, bills to pay, and businesses to run. But the richest man in the world cut off their funding with complicit Republicans in Congress and the President.

Now, reading this, it wasn’t supposed to be a political post; it’s supposed to be about your (and my) mental health, but here we are.

Even when the topic isn’t the dystopia that’s enveloping us in the US and that we’re projecting on our allies and neighbors, it comes down to what is sabotaging our mental health.

For my family, while money is still a touchy subject and issue for us, I am now working. Part-time. We’ve made the commitment not to spend my paycheck except on overdue bills, medical bills that insurance doesn’t cover, and saving for our family vacation. So far, except for Christmas and other holidays, we’re managing as planned.

Our family is no different in many ways than many of those reading it.

How are you coping with the world at large so far this year? How are you coping with the little things that writ large because when we’re struggling there all big things?

5 Things I’ve Done Since the New Year

  1. Breathe. Always keep breathng.
  2. Journal. Write it down. Even if you eventually toss it in the trash, get it out.
  3. Take a Break. When I drove my son to work this morning, I had two hours until my next appointment/commitment. I went to Starbucks for an hour and enjoyed my new favorite drink. (And of course, listening to their perfect playlist!)
  4. Meditate/Contemplate. In whatever way you find comfortable. For some of us that’s sitting in nature. For others, it’s power walking around the mall. Some of us pray, and some of us watch mindless television.
  5. Social Media. Whether that’s consuming more or less, free blocking the people who sabotage your mental health and mental safety. Decide how much you want in your life. (Of course, this will change over time – you’ll take in more, you’ll avoid more, depending on life’s circumstances, and that’s ok.)

Mental Health Monday – Post Holidays

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Many of us have been in Christmas mode since mid-December. And that’s not to leave out any non-Christians and their holidays. Our work week revolves around the Christmas holiday, and while we celebrate Chanukah and a couple of birthdays, we all share the same days off during the holidays. Some have even had one to two weeks off from work, and those two weeks have probably not been relaxing. Family and holiday responsibilities can take it out of us. Even though I work from home, with the kids returning to school and work, and one more Christmas dinner with our family, it is important to be aware of how we’re feeling, now we’re coping, and how we’re getting through the days in reorienting to the sometimes less exciting days that follow the holidays.

Five quick tips to re-enter the world after the holidays.

  1. Give yourself a little extra time in the mornings before work. Whether that means meditation, prayer, reading a book chapter, or having a hot cup of tea, take the time to acclimate to the morning with something refreshing and soothing before you hit the traffic and the workday.
  2. Listen to music on the way to work in your car or through headphones on your commute.
  3. Journal. It doesn’t need to be long or poetic; just jot some thoughts down in a notebook and keep it going for this first week back.
  4. Plan your meals for the week. It can be incredibly de-stressing just knowing what’s for dinner even if you still need to go shopping for the groceries. For the first time in a long time, we planned five days in a row, which is a minor miracle in this house.
  5. Give yourself breaks during the day. This first week back can seem like a month. Take the time you need. Stretch. Drink lots of water. Have a cup of tea or a snack (chocolate chip cookies make a great snack!)

Happy New Year!

Mental Health Monday – Holiday Edition

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I know technically it’s Friday, but hasn’t every day this week been a Monday?

Holiday time is a struggle without the added anxiety of an anxiety disorder. Or any other mental health issue for that matter. For our family, our annual struggle to get things done has been compounded by my bout of covid which I promptly shared with my husband. Thankfully, my quarantine is over and his should end this weekend, just in time for our oldest to come for dinner. It’s a never-ending dance of “what’s for dinner?”, “when is the tree going up?*”, “we missed the last two nights of Chanukah; now what?”, and of course, the ever perennial, “who’s missing Christmas presents?”, and towards me “what to do you want for Christmas?” with the genuine answer of nothing, I have enough. I’m at an age in my life that I’m looking to eliminate the clutter and focus on what’s important right now to me. I’d rather spend time with my kids even if we’re just sitting together watching TV or reading a book.

But…no one came here to read about my-world-specific tensions. We all have our own to concern ourselves with.

Here are five suggestions that you might try to settle your mind, and if you have your own that work for you, please share them below in comments. Mental health is something that affects all of us, and we are in this together. For each other, with one another. A community if you will.

  1. Take a breath. Stop and take a breather. Sometimes that’s all you need.
  2. Journal. Stop and write down what’s affecting you. Sometimes getting out the frustrations in a positive way can get rid of the holiday blues for that moment.
  3. Can you go to your happy place for 15 minutes. A nearby park bench. A coffee shop. Window shop.
  4. Lists. You know I swear by lists. They organize but they also show me the big picture and they let me prioritize so I’m not in a constant state of forgetting something.
  5. Reward yourself. When you finish [this hard task], give yourself a reward: an episode of a favorite television show, read a book chapter, play a word game online or on paper, grab a cup of coffee or tea. Listen to the radio for 15 minutes.

The holidays should bring joy or should at least not make things worse. Remember to take care of yourself. It can be for as little as five minutes to reset your mood and get back on track.

And there’s nothing wrong with a midday nap. Try it out.

Happy Advent and everything that follows.

Advent Wreath.
(c)2023

*We did manage to get our tree up with one child setting it up, and one putting on the lights. We’ll put the ornaments on tomorrow when we’re all together.*

World Book Day…

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Apparently, yesterday was World Book Day. I thought that was last month. Books are a central part of my day, every day. I’m currently reading four – two are religious books, one is a daily through Easter and the second is a weekly for the entire liturgical year.
The other two are:
Unthinkable: Trauma, Truth, and the Trials of American Democracy by Jamie Raskin
Lessons from the Edge: A Memoir by Marie Yovanavitch

My next book up is coming out on May 16 and is written by a woman I know through my writing group: Empty Shoes by the Door: Living After My Son’s Suicide, A Memoir by Judi Merriam.

My Top 5 Books in the last six months are (and yes, I’m well aware that there are more than five books on this list.):

The entire Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters
Midnight in Washington: How We Almost Lost Our Democracy and Still Could by Adam B. Schiff
After the Fall: Being American in the World We’ve Made by Ben Rhodes
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West by Dee Brown
State of Terror: A Novel by Hillary Rodham Clinton & Louise Penny
The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story by Nikole Hannah-Jones, The New York Times Magazine
Taste: My Life Through Food by Stanley Tucci
Mankiller: A Chief and Her People by Wilma Mankiller and Michael Wallis

Happy Reading on World Book Day and Every Day!

Holiday Food

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Food makes the world go round. When we travel, the first thing we do when we get off the airplane or park the car is to find somewhere to eat. I know we’re always looking for that perfect, quintessential local food that we can instagram and taste, and talk about when we get home. Maybe that’s just me.

The holidays are also a time of food; not always trying new things, but having the old things – the things of our childhoods, of our in-laws, of that Pinterest thread that we’ve been promising ourselves we would eventually try.

Here are a few of mine:

1. Candy canes for Christmas and Gelt (chocolate gold-wrappered coins) for Chanukah.

2. Latkes. Confessional time: I make latkes more during Passover than I do during Chanukah. Passover has an overabundance of potatoes, and by  mid-week, it gets a little tiring, although celebrating our Exodus from slavery is never old.

3. French Toast. I happen to make the best French toast. Plain, unadulderated, egg, milk, white bread with butter and Aunt Jemima syrup. Mmm. On occasion I will make a French toast casserole that needs to refrigerate overnight, and then bake in the morning, and that is also amazing, but I think that has less to do with me than with easy French toast on a weekday morning!

4. Green bean casserole. Yes, the Kraft one. Or is the recipe from DelMonte? I think the recipe calls for milk, but my mother never used milk to keep it somewhat kosher-like. Again, simple: 2 cans of French-style green beans, drained, mixed with one can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, mixed with half a container of French’s fried onions and baked for 30-35 minutes on 350. Sprinkle the fried onions on top, and bake for another 5 minutes or so. Voila!

5. Orange Marmalade. I’m not sure why I think of orange marmalade at Christmas time. Possibly because my mother-in-law is British/Irish and that’s a very British food to have during Christmas (or any tea time) with scones or English muffins or biscuits.
What are your holiday favorites that you really miss or can’t live without?

My Top 5 Moments of The Walking Dead

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I thought I would share my top 5s over the course of the next few weeks. Choosing a top five of anything can be very subjective, Whatever five I pick, I’m leaving out ten more things that I really loved, not o mention that anyone reading this will have their own five moments that they think are the top.

This Sunday marks the AMC Marathon of Season 6 of The Walking Dead which leads us into the Season 7 Preview Show with Chris Hardwick and whoever else he has planned to tease us with information and non-information. I had already noticed that in the season 7 trailer, we don’t see hide nor hair or any characters that were in Negan’s lineup to meet Lucille.

There are so many more moments that I could have included, but these five popped into my head first. It was funny that three of the five were from season 5. I know many people felt hat season 5 was their best season so I guess I kind of feel that way, although each season has a special place in my heart.

And let’s be honest, I could probably write a Top 5 Moments for each character!

As they continue on with season 7 and beyond, we’ll see how they continue to fare.

[Note: Each moment is labeled with the Season. Episode #. Episode Title. There are spoilers included for other episodes and for all six seasons.
SPOILERS]

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Tips to Stay Hydrated and Safe

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1. Drink lots of water. Not vitamin water, not flavored water, not tea, not coffee, not soda, no electrolyte replenishments (except when you’re doing serious physical activity).

Nothing beats plain ice cold water to refresh and rehydrate. If you’re just rehydrating, the temperature doesn’t matter, but ice cold water is the best.

2. It’s so important, I’ll say it again: Unless you’re doing strenuous, physical activity and you’re losing minerals and nutrients, H2O for you. Plain, unadulterated water. Save the mineral replacement until you’re losing minerals.

3. Sunscreen. Get the highest spf you find. For my kids I use 50 and above. I try to look for 70spf. Neutragena is a good product that we’ve used for years. Coppertone Sport is also highly recommended. The spray on kinds are convenient and work. Make sure you spray your kids’ hands so they can get the sunscreen on their faces.

Don’t forget eyelids, tips and backs of ears, noses, and lips.

4. Crack the windows of your car. Even with leaving them open a little, do not leave anything in your car. No kids. No pets. No electronic equipment. If you wouldn’t leave your cell phone or laptop, why are you leaving your kids in there?

5. Swim in pairs. We’ve been told since the 70s to use the buddy system. Why? Because it works. Do not go into any body of water, including backyard pools without letting someone know that you are in the water.

It is everyone’s responsibility to keep an eye on toddlers and preschoolers in and around pools. I don’t care if your friend is always an irresponsible idiot. If you see a child near water, shadow them or make sure the parent knows they’re near the water. Babies and children that young can drown in very small amounts of water.

Keep empty planters and buckets outside upside down so they don’t accumulate water that small ones can tumblr into (unless of course, you collect rain water. If that’s the case, make sure that the water areas are safe from children.)

Summertime should be relaxing and fun. Taking care and following some safety tips will ensure that it stays that way.