December – Holiday Season

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​Five days in, finally posting in our last month of 2018.

Finally getting rid of last month’s snow.

Darkness at 4:30; feels like midnight.

My whole clock is off.

Asleep at 5pm; wide awake at midnight.

And then again at 3am.

Taking medicine all at the wrong times.

It’s cold out, but the car is hot.

Wear a jacket? Or just cope between the heated house and the heated car?

Monday was my birthday. I like to pretend my birthday is in the spring. If the sun is out, and there’s no snow, it’s my spring, and I take myself out while the kids are in school and my husband is at work, and for a little while I’m me.

So, on Monday morning, I got up early and went to mass, and then I took myself out for breakfast (free entree – I love birthday freebies!) and a movie. Across the restaurant from me was a woman, a little younger than me who was also having a birthday. I knew this because she was wearing a crown that said “happy birthday”. She wasn’t shouting from the rooftops, she wasn’t laughing loudly, but once she put the crown on, she did seem regal. Poised. Special.

Part of me was like I would never – too much attention, too much shiny – but a part of me was also like why don’t I have a crown? I should have a crown.

Or was it a tiara? Whatever it was, I should have one.

Moon Shot

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​In 1995 when we moved into our second apartment the moon always found its way to my pillow. It was most prominent in the winter, but it always managed to be there sometime through the nights of the full or nearly full moon.

The window faced northwest and because we were on the second floor we hadn’t put up curtains and the windows were always kept open.

I’d wake up in the middle of the night and feel the moonlight shining. I’d open my eyes and stare. I’d reach my hand out until it bathed in the light reaching out to me from space.

We’ve been in our house for twelve years. Our bedroom window still has no curtains, but it is smaller, about half the size or less of that first window. It faces southeast.

I can sometimes see the moon, but it doesn’t shine as prominently on this side. I try to reach out to it, but it is far away, almost never shining on my bedcover.

When it does, I reach out and touch the light. It is a rare occurence.

This photo was taken just a few weeks ago. I woke up and I was a bit shocked at how clear the moon looked. How bright it shone the through the window, touching my face. I squinted.

I knew the picture wouldn’t come out, but I took it anyway.

It was a memory.

It was a held hand.

It didn’t actually come out that badly.

My light. Moon light.

September – Back to School

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Fall Leaves. Colored pencils. (c)2018

September is back to school,

and not a moment too soon.

September is cool nights,

but the annual Indian summer will still surprise us when it comes.

September is falling leaves, 

and the inevitability of raking the neighbor’s leaves (since our pine trees don’t need raking)

September is bright skies,

and family dinners, afterschool snacks, and homework.

September is just like spring, 

but in its beginning, it is also ending.

22/52 – June

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June does not feel like June.

I’ve always remembered this last month of school as hot and sticky. I’m freezing. I’ve been wearing long sleeves all weekend. Plus a sweater. I hate taking a shower on days like this. The water stays cold for so much longer. The heat is off, but I like sleeping with the windows open, so I’m cold all the time.

I want a nice bowl of soup.

It feels more like March or November.

My lilacs are gone.

School’s crescendo is building, adding more things to the end of year calendar. I’m not ready for summer recess. So much to do around the house. So many expectations of a good vacation with the kids home, but also the anticipation of too many people under one roof all of the time without respite.

There is no time in June, but I must take the time to take a breath.

Make a list.

Gather and locate supplies.

Manage time.

Fill out forms for summer school and VBS. Get in the end of school year paperwork. Red Hats, writing group that I’m in charge of, Gishwhes is coming, planning our trip.

Some of it will pass very slowly, but some will be very fast. Too fast.

When June ends, I will have no kids in elementary school. It’s kind of sad. I’m coping.

June bugs and full moons.

5-52 – February

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Pin provided by Penzeys Spices. (c)2017

February comes in cold and goes out colder.

It is the shortest month, and yet feels like the longest. Why is that?

There’s snow and more snow, sometimes a little bit each day. There’s also the thaw that lulls us into the deception that spring is coming. Spring is not coming! Not yet.

I’m finally used to using my calendar, my day planner without thinking twice about grabbing it.
Black history, Groundhog’s Day, Super Bowl, Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day.

There’s winter recess, Father-Daughter dances, crawling under cozy blankets with Netflix, marathoning those DVDs gotten for Christmas.

Hot tea, hot cocoa.

Chocolate chips and marshmallows.

Cookies and warm milk.

Stews, soups, and crock pots.