lgbt+

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Standard

Today is the day that we remember those victims of transphobia, hate, and violence. One day, may the terror and horror they face be eliminated.

The week leading up to today was Trans Visibility Awareness Week, and it’s important to recognize that trans people are in the world and of the world.

Especially this year, when trans people are at higher risk because of our government, and others across the globe, we need to remember those that gave their lives, those that are both out and closeted, and respect their choices.

I would also like to remind people that while LGBT+ youth are at the highest risk for abuse and violence (both from strangers and from domestic abuse/violence), trans youth have even higher rates of homelessness, assault, and suicide. Pay attention to the words you use and what you may post on social media. That clever quip may not be that clever. Take away the stigma and let us all use anti-stigma identifying and inclusive language.

My pronouns are she/her. Yours are?

This missive encompasses many issues, so I’d like to end with the reminder that today is for the commemoration of the trans dead. Please remember them – all of them, especially trans youth and trans people of color who have lost their lives to too much hate and too soon.

Gender Queer: A Review

Standard

After all the Republican outrage over banning books, I thought it was time to read one of the more “controversial” ones for myself. I already knew from previous experience that once these book banners got it into their heads that a book was “inappropriate”, there is usually no going back for them. One thing that I’m proud about myself is that I’m willing to make mistakes and apologize for them, and even, heavens to Betsy, change my mind as I grow and evolve. That doesn’t seem to be the case for the immediate future.

Continue reading

Nancy Mace is a Bully. And a Bigot.

Standard

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day when we take account and remember those transgender people who have died, and been murdered, disproportionately trans women of color.

Today is also the day that Rep. Nancy Mace of South Carolina sponsored a procedure/rule banning trans women from using the women’s restrooms at the Capitol. I’m not sure if this includes tourists visiting the nation’s capital and its Capitol Building or just the ONE trans member of Congress who was just elected from Delaware. Either way, Nancy Mace has been using vulgar, transphobic, and bigoted language, and creating a hostile work environment, and creating potential hate attacks on others including youth in and out of schools.

Today is the day that Nancy Mace decided that THIS is the one issue that needs to be addressed in the last few weeks of the Congressional session.

On the other hand, Representative-Elect Sarah McBride of Delaware issued her own statement that she will abide by the rules set forth by the Speaker of the House (Republican Mike Johnson of Louisiana), and she is in Congress to work for the people she represents in her district.

The difference between that reaction from Congressperson-Elect McBride and Rep. Mace tells you all you need to know about the morals of both of them and Mace’s lack of any.

Nancy Mace is a bigot; we know that. She is also a bully. This rule change won’t affect Ms. McBride as much as it will affect the hundreds of trans and non-binary kids who are getting bullied in classrooms from students their own age AND from teachers and staff.

I am disgusted with Republicans like Nancy Mace who should have better things to do than attack a fellow (soon-to-be) colleague.

I would say “shame on her,” but she clearly has no shame.

All of my well wishes go to Sarah Mc Bride.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Standard

I wanted to observe this day of remembrance for the transgender people who have been assaulted and murdered in the last year. I wanted to do this especially this year when transphobic rhetoric has been at an all time high, at least in my experience. This day reminds me of those people lost, and it reminds me how I can continue to speak out and make the world safer for trans people. That is what makes me an ally. Wearing a t-shirt or a pin doesn’t make me one. Speaking out with general information, corrections to misconceptions and misinformation, and calling out transphobia when I see/hear it is what makes me an ally.

I thought about this a lot this weekend. I was on retreat and without getting into private details, I was in the presence of two mothers of transgender sons. One was accepting and one was not. The one who was accepting walked her road, steady over the potholes, and came to understand and accept her son’s new place in her life, never once wavering in her love for them. The second mother was not accepting. She detailed some medical experiences her child had, she shared their new name, but in that, she was not accepting of that name, and would continue to call her child by their birth name. I had a choice to speak out and possibly offend someone; or speak out and educate or really take a stand on that child’s side. I chose to speak out. I think I did it tactfully. The point of speaking out wasn’t to make the mother feel bad or guilty or angry; the point was to make her think, to consider what she’s saying versus the reality of her situation with her child. Silently, I felt that if she continued with this way of thinking, she will lose this child, and I don’t think that’s what she wanted.

Last week, I had a similar opportunity with someone else. He said something that I considered transphobic. It was a small thing, and it wasn’t to a trans person or about anyone, and really it wasn’t that bad in the great, big world of transphobia, but I called it out anyway. It caused an argument with the other person saying that I was being overly sensitive – it was not transphobic. The only response that I could make was that trans people will let you know what’s transphobic.  My point here was that it is the small stuff that tells a trans person they’re not welcome or safe with you. You don’t have to murder a trans person to make them feel unsafe with you. I did let it go. People need to hear what’s said and then be given time to think about it, coming to the realization in their own time.

However, knowing that today was coming so soon after these conversations, I knew that I needed to acknowledge this day and these conversations. Those of us who are not transgender do need to have conversations that encourage our questions, that enable us to move beyond our internal biases, that allow us to change our hearts and become un-transphobic. It is not easy for any of us who love people that change before our eyes, but when we look deeper, I think we’ll see that they changed very little. They were always who they were, and it is not up to us to accept them; it is up to us to continue to love them.

I think that when we look at trans folks, the biggest change that we may or may not see is that they are comfortable. They are happy. They are lighter than they used to be now that they are who they are supposed to be, who they’ve always been, hidden away. This is who they’ve always been, except now they’re smiling.

Today is to honor the dead, but it is also to save the living through our acceptance and love. Please consider my words with the intention they were meant, and for everyone, but especially trans people, to have a peaceful day in contemplation and commemoration. I will prayerfully be considering those who lost their lives this past year, but also those who are journeying their own paths and that they remain safe on their journeys.

Pride Quotes

Standard
Quotations from Harvey Milk, James Baldwin, Leslie Jordan, Audre Lorde, Marsha P. Johnson, Elliot Page. Art by KBW. (c)2023

A sample of quotations from a diverse group of LGBTQIA and Allies.

  • “Gender is who you are, and sexuality is who you want.” — C.N. Lester, “Trans Like Me: A Journey for All of Us”
  • “Cut the ending. Revise the script. The man of her dreams is a girl.” — Julie Anne Peters, “Keeping You a Secret”
  • “When all Americans are treated as equal, no matter who they are or whom they love, we are all more free.” — Barack Obama
  • “Love is never wrong.” — Melissa Etheridge
  • “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” — E.E. Cummings
  • “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown, “The Gifts of Imperfection”
  • “Where there is love, there is life.” — Mahatma Gandhi
  • “We declare that human rights are for all of us, all the time: whoever we are and wherever we are from; no matter our class, our opinions, our sexual orientation.” — Ban Ki-moon
  • “To realize a world of equality and dignity for all, we will have to change laws and policies; we will also have to change hearts and minds.” — Rick Parnell
  • “Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?”— Ernest J. Gaines
  •  “What I liked about the rainbow is that it fits all of us. It’s all the colors. It represents all the genders. It represents all the races. It’s the rainbow of humanity.” — Gilbert Baker

More quotes can be found here.

Pride

Standard

For the next four weeks, I’ll be posting some information, links, art, and photos for Pride and hopefully including some LGBT+ history. I’d like to start by saying that last week I heard some complaints by folks with nothing better to do asking why Pride gets a month and our veterans only get one day. This is obviously meant to create an issue where there is none. First, Memorial Day is not about veterans in that way; it’s about the war dead, which most people are glad to ignore until it suits their agenda. If they really felt this way, they’d spend Memorial Day at the cemetery, at a house of worship, volunteering instead of barbecuing and at baseball games and concerts. Second, there are many, many veterans (and war dead) who are in the LGBT+ community, and Pride is as much for them as any other person. Third, for those who declare that “pride” is a venal sin, I’d like to suggest that those divorced, adulterous, lying, hypocrites stay quiet and/or remove the log from their eye.

I wonder if, when these people see a rainbow in the sky if they shake a fist at it and complain loudly to the Creator about how woke He is.

Pride was born in revolution, even though LGBT+ people were around long before 1969. The ones who are out and open and celebrate Pride are not only celebrating themselves but are celebrating those of the community who are still not out, for personal reasons as well as safety ones.

My friend has a denim vest with the stenciled words: The first pride was a riot. I’ve used that to influence the art I created last night for this post. Sometimes the simplest designs tell a greater story.

Marsha P. Johnson

Sylvia Rivera

Stonewall Riots

Library of Congress Research Guides: 1969: The Stonewall Uprising

(c)2023

Transgender Day of Visibility

Standard

I struggled with what to write for today. As a cis person, I’m appalled at the anti-trans rhetoric and bills being passed across this country. I’m appalled with the lies being told by one party (Republicans) to frighten and influence parents into denying life-saving care for their children and to subject supportive parents and trans children to bigotry and violence. My husband said something to me about something related to this issue that he’d heard in a news story that was completely untrue, and I had to correct his misconception. It’s important that for cis people in addressing trans issues that we listen to trans voices and learn what we can do as allies from reliable and trans-centric sources. Media and politicians need to be called out when they entirely make stuff up and twist truths into nonsense and they need to be called out in the moment; immediately.

I wanted to talk about my trans friends, of whom I have several, but they are not a monolith. Each person is about as different as they can be and to be honest, this day of visibility isn’t about my relationship with specific people; it’s not about me.

Instead I decided to share what President Biden said today in proclaiming today Transgender Day of Visibility. I let his words speak for me.

Graphic of The White House on a blue oval.

MARCH 30, 2023

A Proclamation on Transgender Day of Visibility

     Transgender Day of Visibility celebrates the joy, strength, and absolute courage of some of the bravest people I know — people who have too often had to put their jobs, relationships, and lives on the line just to be their true selves.  Today, we show millions of transgender and nonbinary Americans that we see them, they belong, and they should be treated with dignity and respect.  Their courage has given countless others strength, but no one should have to be brave just to be themselves.  Every American deserves that freedom.

     Transgender Americans shape our Nation’s soul — proudly serving in the military, curing deadly diseases, holding elected office, running thriving businesses, fighting for justice, raising families, and much more.  As kids, they deserve what every child deserves:  the chance to learn in safe and supportive schools, to develop meaningful friendships, and to live openly and honestly.  As adults, they deserve the same rights enjoyed by every American, including equal access to health care, housing, and jobs and the chance to age with grace as senior citizens.  But today, too many transgender Americans are still denied those rights and freedoms.  A wave of discriminatory State laws is targeting transgender youth, terrifying families and hurting kids who are not hurting anyone.  An epidemic of violence against transgender women and girls, in particular women and girls of color, has taken lives far too soon.  Last year’s Club Q shooting in Colorado was another painful example of this kind of violence — a stain on the conscience of our Nation.

     My Administration has fought to end these injustices from day one, working to ensure that transgender people and the entire LGBTQI+ community can live openly and safely.  On my first day as President, I issued an Executive Order directing the Federal Government to root out discrimination against LGBTQI+ people and their families.  We have appointed a record number of openly LGBTQI+ leaders, and I was proud to rescind the ban on openly transgender people serving in the military.  We are also working to make public spaces and travel more accessible, including with more inclusive gender markers on United States passports.  We are improving access to public services and entitlements like Social Security.  We are cracking down on discrimination in housing and education.  And last December, I signed the Respect for Marriage Act into law, ensuring that every American can marry the person they love and have that marriage accepted, period.

     Meanwhile, we are also working to ease the tremendous strain that discrimination, bullying, and harassment can put on transgender children — more than half of whom seriously considered suicide in the last year.  The Department of Education is, for example, helping ensure that transgender students have equal opportunities to learn and thrive at school, and the Department of Justice is pushing back against extreme laws that seek to ban evidence-based gender-affirming health care.

     There is much more to do.  I continue to call on the Congress to finally pass the Equality Act and extend long-overdue civil rights protections to all LGBTQI+ Americans to ensure they can live with safety and dignity.  Together, we also have to keep challenging the hundreds of hateful State laws that have been introduced across the country, making sure every child knows that they are made in the image of God, that they are loved, and that we are standing up for them.

     America is founded on the idea that all people are created equal and deserve to be treated equally throughout their lives.  We have never fully lived up to that, but we have never walked away from it either.  Today, as we celebrate transgender people, we also celebrate every American’s fundamental right to be themselves, bringing us closer to realizing America’s full promise.

     NOW, THEREFORE, I, JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim March 31, 2023, as Transgender Day of Visibility.  I call upon all Americans to join us in lifting up the lives and voices of transgender people throughout our Nation and to work toward eliminating violence and discrimination against all transgender, gender nonconforming, and nonbinary people.

     IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirtieth day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-three, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-seventh.

                                JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR.

Mental Health Monday

Standard

September is Suicide Prevention Month. Each year, too many people commit suicide and one thing that would prevent some of those suicides is knowing where to go to get help. Visit the websites of these three organizations and find out how you can get help or how you can help someone in crisis.

NAMI – National Alliance on Mental Illness.

NAMI is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.

The Trevor Project – for LGBTQ+ and Trans Youth.

The Trevor Project provides confidential support for LGBTQ youth in crisis, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

46/52 – Transgender Day of Remembrance

Standard

As of this writing, 25 trans people have been murdered this year, however that number may only be the US. This is something that needs to end. It’s not about whether or not you agree with someone’s truth, but the transphobia is killing trans people, especially women of color and youth.

We need to remember and continue moving forward to better lives for trans people, equality, and safety.

The first Day of Remembrance was held online in 1999 and has evolved into a day of action as well as a memorial. It occurs every year on November 20th, which is tomorrow.

Please visit the Trans Day of Remembrance site for up to date information and a memorial list of the 2017 deaths as well as Glaad.org/tdor