I sometimes wonder…
Am I a writer or an author?
A blogger or a freelancer?
A dabbler? Professional?
Sometimes, I don’t know what I am or what I’m doing here and elsewhere. Maybe one day it will come to me or all fall into place or whatever it’s supposed to do.I know that there are things pulling at me, and I have stories and half-written anecdotes and notes since my high school and college days. Fan fiction gave me a language and a society – a camaraderie that is often not found, even in the writing groups I’ve attended. Not belonging because of the subjects or the philosophies or the age difference – I tend to be either the oldest or the youngest. Neither one is preferable. They are both on the outside looking in.
Some of my writings are avoidance; conversely, some of my writings are avoided, each with a labyrinth of excuses and reasons, one more valid than the next.
I recently heard something on one of my favorite television shows. It’s funny to admit or even to say out loud to those who aren’t in the fandom and therefore don’t understand the inspiration that I get from this program and its cast and crew.
This isn’t the first time that their words have helped me move forward with a less than tangible hand to hold and shoulder to lean on.
“You wanna know the secret to living a long and happy life? Follow your heart. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out.”
– Mildred (played by Dee Wallace) to Dean (played by Jensen Ackles)