I sometimes wonder…
Am I a writer or an author?
A blogger or a freelancer?
A dabbler? Professional?
Sometimes, I don’t know what I am or what I’m doing here and elsewhere. Maybe one day it will come to me or all fall into place or whatever it’s supposed to do.I know that there are things pulling at me, and I have stories and half-written anecdotes and notes since my high school and college days. Fan fiction gave me a language and a society – a camaraderie that is often not found, even in the writing groups I’ve attended. Not belonging because of the subjects or the philosophies or the age difference – I tend to be either the oldest or the youngest. Neither one is preferable. They are both on the outside looking in.
Some of my writings are avoidance; conversely, some of my writings are avoided, each with a labyrinth of excuses and reasons, one more valid than the next.
I recently heard something on one of my favorite television shows. It’s funny to admit or even to say out loud to those who aren’t in the fandom and therefore don’t understand the inspiration that I get from this program and its cast and crew.
This isn’t the first time that their words have helped me move forward with a less than tangible hand to hold and shoulder to lean on.
“You wanna know the secret to living a long and happy life? Follow your heart. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out.”
– Mildred (played by Dee Wallace) to Dean (played by Jensen Ackles)
So, in light of that becoming my most recent mantra, I’m determined that 2016 is the beginning of the end of that avoidance and procrastination. At least that’s my hope. In Pope Francis’ call to pilgrimage for this Jubilee Year of Mercy, I have indeed been called to wander. To avoid that being aimless, I’ve been thinking and meditating on what I want to receive from such a journey.
To be honest, I still don’t know exactly, but the call to mercy that I’m feeling in my heart has also been a call to other things in my life – making inroads into who I am and who I’m going to be for next fifty years; making inroads into my faith and spiritual life, and of course, always by my side like a dear friend or a lovingly worn notebook, my writing.
I have some WIPs that I would like to work on. Set the outlines. Begin to write some of the stories, the anecdotes, recount the emotion and learn or at least acknowledge the lessons.
I’d like to share with you my list of those things that will command my focus for the rest of the year, probably longer.
I list these in no particular order. They are all important and mean different things to me, each one having its own weight and reason for being on the list. I may add more as the year goes on.
– Jubilee Holy Year of Mercy pilgrimage and the opening of my heart to whatever may come from this
– Wales – a book of my adventures and a different kind of pilgrimage, although I didn’t call it that at the time
– House – a book of buying our house. It was a horrible experience and has taken me almost ten years to come to a place where I can attempt to think about it without tearing my hair out. Okay, that’s not true, but I think it’s time to move forward on this, and write the book to both get it out of my system and perhaps help someone else.
– 2 Reading Challenges – one from Facebook and one from Goodreads
– Weekly Short Stories – from Tumblr
– At least two fan fiction pieces plus two metas – to remember what infused a new breath of life into me and rejuvenated my writing and what got me in the public forum of online publishing
– At the end of the year, I will be turning 50. For the rest of this year, I’m planning to reflect on what that means. I had planned weekly reflections, but it’s the end of January and I haven’t begun any of them, so my first “resolution” is not to be so terribly rigid, but to be consistent in my writing.
The items…goals on this list will have their own tags and categories, but will also share a common tag and category: 50 Year Goals, 2016 Sarn. That last one will be explained in a later post.
In addition to these big plans, and this additional path or journey or whatever it should be called, my formatting will be coming together in the coming weeks. I expect to be making new posts Monday through Friday, a minimum of one post per day. As current events dictate, I will also post on the weekend. The best way to keep up with my writing is to get on my email list or like me on Facebook. LInks are in the sidebar.
Laying it all out like this is a bit daunting. In my head I always have plans, writing calendars, and blog planners, but putting it out here to be accountable….it’s stepping off the ledge naked and while it’s scary, it’s also exhilarating and exciting. I’m curious to see where this is going to go.