mental health monday

Mental Health Monday – We Give Thanks

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Yesterday, we lost a pioneer and advocate in the mental health awareness field. Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in beginning the fight against mental illness stigma as well as growing the awareness of mental health issues. She openly talked about her depression and spoke out when it would not have been in her best political interest to do so. She, like her husband, President Jimmy Carter always did things in a way that worked within their consciences through their compassion, empathy, and faith to make the world a better place, one project at a time. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity, the Carter Center, peace initiatives, teaching Sunday school, they worked as a team, full partners, supporting each other in both their shared and differing priorities. She was a good and faithful servant and may she receive her reward and rest in peace.

From The Carter Center

Rosalynn Carter Tribute Page

Rosalynn Carter at The Carter Center.

With Thanksgiving coming up this week, many of us are spending the day (or even the weekend) with family we may not see often, and it can be a wonderful day, but it can also be stressful and draining and you want to maintain the strides you’ve already made in your mental health journey. With the death of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, I am reminded that our mental health journey is ongoing, and we can and should refer back to our advocates and mentors as well as those we may not know, but those who have influenced our journeys as Mrs. Carter has done for me, especially with her independence and her openness on her own mental health struggles and journey.

I have five tools that I want to share with you to add to your mental health toolbox, especially for this holiday season.

  1. Whether you’re at your own home or someone else’s, find a safe space where you can go to take a moment to yourself to catch your breath, regroup, and motivate yourself to go back to the social group. If you’re a praying person, this might be a good time to have a prayer or mantra ready to steady your way for the next go round.
  2. Have a plan for your drink choice. Even for those of us who do not have alcohol problems, it’s easier to know what you want to drink. It’s one less thing to think about or umm about. Personally, I’m a fan of Diet Coke and/or ice water. My hot drink is tea. It is also more common to bring your own water bottle to places. Know that it’s also okay to say no, thank you.
  3. It’s okay to sneak off to the bathroom and watch a video on your phone that will settle your anxiety.
  4. Speaking of your phone, it’s also okay to check in with that one person who knows what to say to create a comfortable space for you within the holiday-social responsibility bubble.
  5. Wear something you love. I find that when I’m dressed in my comfort clothes, I feel better about myself, and I project myself better. Part of my own comfort clothes are my mother’s ring, a colorful scarf, a long, cozy sweater, a pin (which can also be a conversation starter if that’s what you want it to be), or my rainbow shoelaces.

Know that the holiday is just one day. You’ll talk, you’ll laugh, you’ll have moments of discomfort, you’ll eat dinner, and it will be over before you know it.

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, and may the warm feelings carry you through the rest of the year.

Mental Health Monday – Onward

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Today is the first Monday in October, and that means that Suicide Prevention Awareness month has come to its conclusion. Now that you won’t be inundated with reminders every few tweets or threads to check on your friends, to drink your water, to breathe, it may seem as though you’ve been abandoned at the seashore with friends and neighbors waving you off.

This is not what it is, though.

Without the constant social media buzz, it is still important to remain aware of your mental health. Continue seeing your mental health professionals. Notice if the things you like to do become less fun or you dread starting projects. If you journal, continue writing. If you doodle, continue drawing. If you pray and/or meditate, keep up that practice.

Randomly mark a day on your calendar to see how you’re doing; is your coping toolbox ready for your needs?

Take a mental health inventory on yourself once a week or more if it helps you feel centered.

Check yourself, and check your friends.

The awareness month may have ended, but the awareness doesn’t.

You are not alone.

We are all in this together.

Mental Health Monday – Quietude

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Today is the observance of Yom Kippur. It is the Jewish day of atonement, a time to think back on the bad we’ve done and ask forgiveness, and to look forward on how we can be better stewards of ourselves and our time.

When I was a child, we were not allowed into the temple. I don’t know if that was because the tickets were too costly or if we children made too much noise and fidgeted too much. I have strong and fond memories of playing in the parking lot (which was devoid of cars) and playing with other children. We were dressed relatively nicely, but still playing outside until one of our parents came out to the door at the back, and from the top of the stairs shushed us. If I were being honest, this happened more than the one time.

Growing up, I had difficulty on this day. As a teenager, I would sleep until one in the afternoon, hoping to shorten the fasting we were required to do. I was annoyed that I couldn’t participate in my favorite pastime – writing – because writing was work. (Not to me, but my parents would not hear of it.) We didn’t have computers then, so that wasn’t an issue for me.

As I grew up, I never had a temple near me to attend services (except once) and so I spent my Yom Kippur fasting, reading one or two books, and speaking to G-d.

After I had my kids, I would take them on walks, read to them, and watch PBS.

On these Yom Kippurs that fall during my Catholic years I find myself seeking quiet. Reading. Praying. Fasting. (I try to only take my medicine with a little bit of water.) Thinking back on the last year and looking forward.

For those of you who are not Jewish, who do not observe the fast, this is a reminder that we all need that quietude; that time to take for ourselves where we’re not making shopping or to-do lists, where our brains are not turning over a mile a minute. Take the day if you are able, or an hour, or even a block of fifteen to twenty minutes, and just be. It can be contemplation, meditation, prayer, or just simply resting your mind. That time is your refuge, and it is needed just as much as water is for life.

(c)2023

Celebrating Tomie dePaola

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As I mentioned briefly in yesterday’s Mental Health Monday post, September 15th would have been writer/illustrator Tomie dePaola’s eighty-ninth birthday. Sadly, he died in 2020 from complications to a bad fall he had at his studio. He wrote over 250 children’s books, writing full time after retiring from teaching in 1978.

His books were a staple in my classrooms over the years, often having parts of the curriculum built around specific books and themes that he wrote about. Two of my favorites were Strega Nona and Charlie Needs a Cloak. Legend of the Indian Paintbrush was something I brought out during November and the Thanksgiving lessons to build around true Native American mythos rather than the stereotypical Pilgrims and Indians tropes that continue to be taught. The Tale of Rabbit and Coyote was another one that brought another culture alive for the children in my classes. He wrote many books on holidays, primarily Christmas.

Tomie was a devoted Catholic. One of my favorite houses to visit on retreat has a mural in their chapel that he painted in 1958 (he was 24 years old!), depicting the Blessed Mother with some Dominican friends: St. Rose of Lima, Blessed Jane of Aza, St. Catherine of Siena, St. Catherine de ’Ricci, St. Mary Magdalen, and St. Maria Goretti.

I never get tired of sitting with it, praying, and thinking of Tomie and his stories.

Mural by Tomie dePaola

Visit his website, which lists all of his books as well as offering his biography. There is also a link to The Tomie dePaola Art Education Fund.

Recently, Tomie was honored with a series of US Postal stamps, seen below. You may find them at your local post office.

Mental Health Monday – Time

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I’ve mentioned before my writing planner – the calendar where I schedule topics to write about. Some just happen, and others reflect items on the calendar. For instance, I’m working on something for All Saints Day as well as my two writing classes (with prompts), although I’m not sure that those will be going off this year. We’ll know soon enough.

Friday was the birthday of children’s writer and illustrator, Tomie dePaola and I had planned a reflection on his work as well as a personal connection.

Friday was also the first night of Rosh Hashanah.

As I was getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, Tomie dePaola was still on my radar. After each mundane task, I would think to myself (or even say aloud) that I needed to write and post the Tomie dePaola piece. I shouldn’t say “need;” I wanted to.

I took my son to work, I got groceries, I picked my daughter up from school, I started dinner, I picked my son up from work, I continued with dinner: roast chicken with sweet potatoes if anyone was wondering.

And as it drifted towards sundown, I knew that I was going to miss Tomie dePaola’s birthday.

I just couldn’t make the time stop. Dinner was nearly ready, my oldest was coming over for dinner, and I still had to clean off the table and vase the flowers.

I could have gotten frustrated.

I could have gotten angry (at a whole host of things).

I could have assigned more tasks to my family, who had also worked all day, stepped aside, and wrote what I wanted to, shared the photos that I wanted to, and it would have been done.

However, it wouldn’t have been done right.

It wouldn’t have been done with the reverence that Mr. dePaola deserves.

I let the time pass, and I decided to be okay with that.

I spent the holiday with my family, reading, sitting prayerfully with G-d, and knew that tomorrow is another day, and I can celebrate Tomie dePaola tomorrow.

Which is my plan.

Stay tuned.

Mental Health Monday – September 11th

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Today is one of those days that needs some extra quiet.

I drove my son to work, and then sat in the car for over 30 minutes, discussing what I wanted to eat for breakfast with myself. Having not really decided, I just sat there. I knew what day it was, but it hadn’t imprinted on my mind yet. When it did, I at least understood my unexplainable melancholy.

In the interim between 2001 and today, I have met and befriended a few people who were there, in lower Manhattan when the World Trade Center fell, who were in one of the buildings when it was hit. We’ve heard stories of friends with near misses, where fate – or providence – kept them from being there that day, and others who found their way home, ghost-like.

I have pangs of guilt, feeling the strong feelings of Nine-Eleven when I wasn’t physically there, but in the ensuing years, I have come to accept and be at one with my own trauma. No, I wasn’t in attendance, but I had been affected more than a previous tourist, visiting once or twice. This was my home. Both of my parents were from the Bronx. I was born in the Bronx and grew up in Queens and on Long Island. At the time of the attacks, we had just returned from visiting my parents and my mother-in-law the day before, crossing the Throgs Neck Bridge, pointing out the New York City skyline to our four-year-old son. We viewed that sight not twenty-four hours before, the same perfect blue sky guiding our way north.

I resent out of state politicians using 9/11 as their fundraising, their inspo-porn, trauma-porn, and call to arms that they have no right to.

For more than a year after, when I traveled on our local highway to the state capital, I would shudder at the sight of a plane flying overhead, sinking lower and lower in the sky as it descended to the airport runway that I was passing. Our house is in the flight path of two small, local airports, and every time a plane flew low, I would have a visceral reaction. I felt that these reactions and feelings were not mine to have – I wasn’t there!

But in a way, I was.

This was my home. These were my people.

And I’ve decided to own my pain and my trauma of that day.

That’s my mental health Monday suggestion this week: don’t let others tell you how to feel. Only you know how you feel, and you should let yourself feel the things. It’s possible that the feelings can be too much, but if that’s the case, seek out a professional. Talking to someone who is a professional can do wonders for your mental health, not only today, but any day.

Have a peaceful, blessed, quiet, tea-filled day.

❤

Mental Health Monday – One Thing

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I’m not sure about you, but this week, or partial week, set between the end of vacation and the beginning of school is always a tough one for me. This year is especially bittersweet as it is my daughter’s senior year of high school; the little one; the baby. Our vacation days were all messed up this year, coming earlier in the month than usual due to a commitment I made, the college school schedule, and the closing days of a shrine that I wanted to visit (see tomorrow’s Inspire post for more on this).

As I mentioned on Friday, September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. It can be a burden to our mental health to constantly be reminded that we are not alone, we are enough, if in crisis, call 988. For some, it truly is a reminder of our worth and a valuable resource. For others, on the lower spectrum of suicidal thoughts, it can come across as trite, another checklist to get through to be called an ally.

You never know who you’re reaching, and so we keep reaching out. I hope the readers will take it with the compassion and empathy in which it is offered.

For today’s Mental Health Monday, find one thing.

Just one thing.

It can be something that makes you think; something that makes you feel; makes you laugh.

It can be as simple as a fortune cookie fortune that you’ve been carrying around in your pocket or in the cup holder of your car.

It can be a business card sized card with a mantra on it or a smiley face.

It can be a flower petal or a leaf that drifted in your open window.

Whatever it is, give this one thing a little time; focus on it in a mind-wandering way.

Journal, doodle, listen to music along with this one thing. Or do nothing at all.

There is no wrong way to do your one thing this week.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

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Today begins Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and I thought this would be a good time for a couple of reminders.

  1. You are loved.
  2. You are not alone.
  3. You are enough.
  4. Take a moment to create your mental health toolbox to help you through those tough times.
  5. Speak to a professional when you need to. Talk therapy is very effective.
  6. In crisis, remember the new Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

Mental Health Monday returns for September on Labor Day.

Mental Health Monday – Course Correction

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In trying to find a sub-title for this post, I looked back at my previous posts that related to what’s been going on, and I was kind of pleased to discover that the last time I felt like I’d had a setback was in 2019, in the fall. I know I’ve had moments that go up and down, but this was decidedly different.

I try to be open and talk openly about my struggles and my successes. We all have mental health, and we all must get through any of its manifestations, good, bad, or neutral just like we do when we twist an ankle or get a paper cut.

Continue reading

Mental Health Monday – Sleep

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I don’t know anyone who gets enough sleep. Like my kids, I stay up way too late, and even with intentional naps, there is no way to catch up on missed sleep.

I slept very late today. I hadn’t intended to. I went to bed early with a stomachache, and slept until I was refreshed, which was quite late. I needed the sleep apparently. I was surprised at how much I needed it considering I actually got a lot of sleep over the weekend.

I had the privilege of attending a weekend retreat guided by Terry and Darlene Wildman. You’ll hear more about them (and the retreat) in an upcoming post. The retreat was centered around the First Nations Version of the New Testament, and the weekend was filled with music, Scripture, prayer, and really good, deep conversation. I usually have a difficult time settling down on retreat to sleep. Even though, I’m very comfortable at the retreat house, I just can’t quiet my mind. This retreat gave me the exact opposite experience. I went to sleep every night before midnight (sometimes long before) and woke up refreshed at around seven in the morning, with an alarm, and the sunrise out of my window.

At the end of the retreat, I had another event through the Cursillo movement. I had to drive out, and on my way, I decided to take a quick stop at the St. Kateri Shrine. I was so close, and after the weekend enveloped in Native spirituality, I felt the pull to sit on that holy ground, near to where St. Kateri was baptized. I decided to face the seven directions that we prayed with (East, South, West, North, Above, Below, Inward), and after a few more moments, I proceeded with my drive.

I wasn’t tired. I was refreshed. Except for last night’s stomachache, I felt great, and didn’t think I needed any extra sleep or naps.

My body told me something different.

This is my reminder to you that even though you may feel fine, feel rested, feel awakened, your body may tell you something different. Try and take the opportunities when they arise to get the rest you need, whether it’s deep sleep, resting your eyes, sitting in nature with no other thoughts. Rest, not only your body, but your thoughts.

The photo below is the (four) directions I faced at the St. Kateri Shrine. East begins in the top left, and follows the direction of the sun, what we now call clockwise.

St. Kateri Tekakwitha Shrine,
Fonda, NY
(c)2023