mental health monday

Mental Health Monday – Quietude

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Today is the observance of Yom Kippur. It is the Jewish day of atonement, a time to think back on the bad we’ve done and ask forgiveness, and to look forward on how we can be better stewards of ourselves and our time.

When I was a child, we were not allowed into the temple. I don’t know if that was because the tickets were too costly or if we children made too much noise and fidgeted too much. I have strong and fond memories of playing in the parking lot (which was devoid of cars) and playing with other children. We were dressed relatively nicely, but still playing outside until one of our parents came out to the door at the back, and from the top of the stairs shushed us. If I were being honest, this happened more than the one time.

Growing up, I had difficulty on this day. As a teenager, I would sleep until one in the afternoon, hoping to shorten the fasting we were required to do. I was annoyed that I couldn’t participate in my favorite pastime – writing – because writing was work. (Not to me, but my parents would not hear of it.) We didn’t have computers then, so that wasn’t an issue for me.

As I grew up, I never had a temple near me to attend services (except once) and so I spent my Yom Kippur fasting, reading one or two books, and speaking to G-d.

After I had my kids, I would take them on walks, read to them, and watch PBS.

On these Yom Kippurs that fall during my Catholic years I find myself seeking quiet. Reading. Praying. Fasting. (I try to only take my medicine with a little bit of water.) Thinking back on the last year and looking forward.

For those of you who are not Jewish, who do not observe the fast, this is a reminder that we all need that quietude; that time to take for ourselves where we’re not making shopping or to-do lists, where our brains are not turning over a mile a minute. Take the day if you are able, or an hour, or even a block of fifteen to twenty minutes, and just be. It can be contemplation, meditation, prayer, or just simply resting your mind. That time is your refuge, and it is needed just as much as water is for life.

(c)2023

Celebrating Tomie dePaola

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As I mentioned briefly in yesterday’s Mental Health Monday post, September 15th would have been writer/illustrator Tomie dePaola’s eighty-ninth birthday. Sadly, he died in 2020 from complications to a bad fall he had at his studio. He wrote over 250 children’s books, writing full time after retiring from teaching in 1978.

His books were a staple in my classrooms over the years, often having parts of the curriculum built around specific books and themes that he wrote about. Two of my favorites were Strega Nona and Charlie Needs a Cloak. Legend of the Indian Paintbrush was something I brought out during November and the Thanksgiving lessons to build around true Native American mythos rather than the stereotypical Pilgrims and Indians tropes that continue to be taught. The Tale of Rabbit and Coyote was another one that brought another culture alive for the children in my classes. He wrote many books on holidays, primarily Christmas.

Tomie was a devoted Catholic. One of my favorite houses to visit on retreat has a mural in their chapel that he painted in 1958 (he was 24 years old!), depicting the Blessed Mother with some Dominican friends: St. Rose of Lima, Blessed Jane of Aza, St. Catherine of Siena, St. Catherine de ’Ricci, St. Mary Magdalen, and St. Maria Goretti.

I never get tired of sitting with it, praying, and thinking of Tomie and his stories.

Mural by Tomie dePaola

Visit his website, which lists all of his books as well as offering his biography. There is also a link to The Tomie dePaola Art Education Fund.

Recently, Tomie was honored with a series of US Postal stamps, seen below. You may find them at your local post office.

Mental Health Monday – Time

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I’ve mentioned before my writing planner – the calendar where I schedule topics to write about. Some just happen, and others reflect items on the calendar. For instance, I’m working on something for All Saints Day as well as my two writing classes (with prompts), although I’m not sure that those will be going off this year. We’ll know soon enough.

Friday was the birthday of children’s writer and illustrator, Tomie dePaola and I had planned a reflection on his work as well as a personal connection.

Friday was also the first night of Rosh Hashanah.

As I was getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, Tomie dePaola was still on my radar. After each mundane task, I would think to myself (or even say aloud) that I needed to write and post the Tomie dePaola piece. I shouldn’t say “need;” I wanted to.

I took my son to work, I got groceries, I picked my daughter up from school, I started dinner, I picked my son up from work, I continued with dinner: roast chicken with sweet potatoes if anyone was wondering.

And as it drifted towards sundown, I knew that I was going to miss Tomie dePaola’s birthday.

I just couldn’t make the time stop. Dinner was nearly ready, my oldest was coming over for dinner, and I still had to clean off the table and vase the flowers.

I could have gotten frustrated.

I could have gotten angry (at a whole host of things).

I could have assigned more tasks to my family, who had also worked all day, stepped aside, and wrote what I wanted to, shared the photos that I wanted to, and it would have been done.

However, it wouldn’t have been done right.

It wouldn’t have been done with the reverence that Mr. dePaola deserves.

I let the time pass, and I decided to be okay with that.

I spent the holiday with my family, reading, sitting prayerfully with G-d, and knew that tomorrow is another day, and I can celebrate Tomie dePaola tomorrow.

Which is my plan.

Stay tuned.

Mental Health Monday – September 11th

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Today is one of those days that needs some extra quiet.

I drove my son to work, and then sat in the car for over 30 minutes, discussing what I wanted to eat for breakfast with myself. Having not really decided, I just sat there. I knew what day it was, but it hadn’t imprinted on my mind yet. When it did, I at least understood my unexplainable melancholy.

In the interim between 2001 and today, I have met and befriended a few people who were there, in lower Manhattan when the World Trade Center fell, who were in one of the buildings when it was hit. We’ve heard stories of friends with near misses, where fate – or providence – kept them from being there that day, and others who found their way home, ghost-like.

I have pangs of guilt, feeling the strong feelings of Nine-Eleven when I wasn’t physically there, but in the ensuing years, I have come to accept and be at one with my own trauma. No, I wasn’t in attendance, but I had been affected more than a previous tourist, visiting once or twice. This was my home. Both of my parents were from the Bronx. I was born in the Bronx and grew up in Queens and on Long Island. At the time of the attacks, we had just returned from visiting my parents and my mother-in-law the day before, crossing the Throgs Neck Bridge, pointing out the New York City skyline to our four-year-old son. We viewed that sight not twenty-four hours before, the same perfect blue sky guiding our way north.

I resent out of state politicians using 9/11 as their fundraising, their inspo-porn, trauma-porn, and call to arms that they have no right to.

For more than a year after, when I traveled on our local highway to the state capital, I would shudder at the sight of a plane flying overhead, sinking lower and lower in the sky as it descended to the airport runway that I was passing. Our house is in the flight path of two small, local airports, and every time a plane flew low, I would have a visceral reaction. I felt that these reactions and feelings were not mine to have – I wasn’t there!

But in a way, I was.

This was my home. These were my people.

And I’ve decided to own my pain and my trauma of that day.

That’s my mental health Monday suggestion this week: don’t let others tell you how to feel. Only you know how you feel, and you should let yourself feel the things. It’s possible that the feelings can be too much, but if that’s the case, seek out a professional. Talking to someone who is a professional can do wonders for your mental health, not only today, but any day.

Have a peaceful, blessed, quiet, tea-filled day.

❤

Mental Health Monday – One Thing

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I’m not sure about you, but this week, or partial week, set between the end of vacation and the beginning of school is always a tough one for me. This year is especially bittersweet as it is my daughter’s senior year of high school; the little one; the baby. Our vacation days were all messed up this year, coming earlier in the month than usual due to a commitment I made, the college school schedule, and the closing days of a shrine that I wanted to visit (see tomorrow’s Inspire post for more on this).

As I mentioned on Friday, September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. It can be a burden to our mental health to constantly be reminded that we are not alone, we are enough, if in crisis, call 988. For some, it truly is a reminder of our worth and a valuable resource. For others, on the lower spectrum of suicidal thoughts, it can come across as trite, another checklist to get through to be called an ally.

You never know who you’re reaching, and so we keep reaching out. I hope the readers will take it with the compassion and empathy in which it is offered.

For today’s Mental Health Monday, find one thing.

Just one thing.

It can be something that makes you think; something that makes you feel; makes you laugh.

It can be as simple as a fortune cookie fortune that you’ve been carrying around in your pocket or in the cup holder of your car.

It can be a business card sized card with a mantra on it or a smiley face.

It can be a flower petal or a leaf that drifted in your open window.

Whatever it is, give this one thing a little time; focus on it in a mind-wandering way.

Journal, doodle, listen to music along with this one thing. Or do nothing at all.

There is no wrong way to do your one thing this week.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

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Today begins Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and I thought this would be a good time for a couple of reminders.

  1. You are loved.
  2. You are not alone.
  3. You are enough.
  4. Take a moment to create your mental health toolbox to help you through those tough times.
  5. Speak to a professional when you need to. Talk therapy is very effective.
  6. In crisis, remember the new Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

Mental Health Monday returns for September on Labor Day.

Mental Health Monday – Course Correction

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In trying to find a sub-title for this post, I looked back at my previous posts that related to what’s been going on, and I was kind of pleased to discover that the last time I felt like I’d had a setback was in 2019, in the fall. I know I’ve had moments that go up and down, but this was decidedly different.

I try to be open and talk openly about my struggles and my successes. We all have mental health, and we all must get through any of its manifestations, good, bad, or neutral just like we do when we twist an ankle or get a paper cut.

Continue reading

Mental Health Monday – Sleep

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I don’t know anyone who gets enough sleep. Like my kids, I stay up way too late, and even with intentional naps, there is no way to catch up on missed sleep.

I slept very late today. I hadn’t intended to. I went to bed early with a stomachache, and slept until I was refreshed, which was quite late. I needed the sleep apparently. I was surprised at how much I needed it considering I actually got a lot of sleep over the weekend.

I had the privilege of attending a weekend retreat guided by Terry and Darlene Wildman. You’ll hear more about them (and the retreat) in an upcoming post. The retreat was centered around the First Nations Version of the New Testament, and the weekend was filled with music, Scripture, prayer, and really good, deep conversation. I usually have a difficult time settling down on retreat to sleep. Even though, I’m very comfortable at the retreat house, I just can’t quiet my mind. This retreat gave me the exact opposite experience. I went to sleep every night before midnight (sometimes long before) and woke up refreshed at around seven in the morning, with an alarm, and the sunrise out of my window.

At the end of the retreat, I had another event through the Cursillo movement. I had to drive out, and on my way, I decided to take a quick stop at the St. Kateri Shrine. I was so close, and after the weekend enveloped in Native spirituality, I felt the pull to sit on that holy ground, near to where St. Kateri was baptized. I decided to face the seven directions that we prayed with (East, South, West, North, Above, Below, Inward), and after a few more moments, I proceeded with my drive.

I wasn’t tired. I was refreshed. Except for last night’s stomachache, I felt great, and didn’t think I needed any extra sleep or naps.

My body told me something different.

This is my reminder to you that even though you may feel fine, feel rested, feel awakened, your body may tell you something different. Try and take the opportunities when they arise to get the rest you need, whether it’s deep sleep, resting your eyes, sitting in nature with no other thoughts. Rest, not only your body, but your thoughts.

The photo below is the (four) directions I faced at the St. Kateri Shrine. East begins in the top left, and follows the direction of the sun, what we now call clockwise.

St. Kateri Tekakwitha Shrine,
Fonda, NY
(c)2023

Mental Health Monday – Onward

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Today is the last Monday in May – the month for Mental Health Awareness. Mental Health Mondays will be a bit more sporadic, but that doesn’t mean your own awareness of your mental health needs to be. Hopefully, in the last few weeks, I’ve given you some resources to pay attention to how you’re feeling mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and keep moving yourself forward one step at a time.

If you hit a block and need a little support, check out the “mental health” and “mental health monday” tags in the search bar.

Contact a mental health professional. (I am not one. I am simply someone like you, struggling, and trying to stay on top of it.)

All I wanted to do today was to sit in my backyard, in the shade, and listen to the nature: the birds chirping, the chipmunks chattering, bunnies stirring in the grass, and even the kids laughing and the cars driving by. And every hour, I can hear the church bells from over a mile away.

Unfortunately, my kids needed things, and I was the taxi. Once this publishes, I’m going to sit inside in the air conditioning and read a book and then I’m going to join my rosary group on the telephone.

I know how blessed I am.

I also know how fragile the balance is, and so I keep on it through awareness, lists, and the sound of music, whether that’s with instruments, voice, or nature.

Any way I can help, please ask. We are a community and we help one another.

Mental Health Monday – Meditation-Lite

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Before I share some of my thoughts and suggestions, I’d like to inform readers that I am not a meditation teacher; I only know things that I’ve practiced in classes and what I’ve been taught as well as what seems to work with me. I have done centering prayer a few times, which I find hard to do for any length of time. Last week, for five days, I joined a Mindful Writing Challenge, which began with a five minute meditation that then proceeded to a writing exercise. I really enjoyed how this made me feel. It calmed me; it set my writing time as definitive; it motivated me to get something on the page. And it was consistent. I’ve used similar breath work from a prayer retreat to settle me in before bed. These are what I’m sharing with you with one or two links.

If you have any reason that you can’t do these breathing techniques or stretching, consult your doctor. You do not want to start ANY exercise program (even if it seems minimal) without checking with your health care professional.

I also want to remind readers that it really is okay to simply sit in silence for five to ten minutes. That’s enough for a recharge.

It’s okay to listen to music.

It’s okay to listen to the rain.

It’s okay to just breathe.

Find your center.

I’ll include the link at the end, but my new Spotify playlist dropped this morning, and it has a few musical selections, some with lyrics, some with only music that may help to calm your mind and let yourself go deeper or simply rest.

Try it out. Keep what works; ignore what doesn’t.

This is a 5 minute video with Elena Cheung. Sometimes it’s not the activity, but the person helping you with it. I played this one, and I really like Elena’s voice and personality. That may seem shallow, but if the person you’re hearing is creating stress for you (through no fault of their own), it’s not going to decrease your stress. Do your own googling to find what you like and what you’re comfortable with.

Another breathing style I learned on retreat is a simple Inhale-Exhale saying the words (prayer), Accept (inhale), Surrender (exhale). My teenage daughter was having a really bad day, and I breathed this with her, and it really did a lot to settle her down so she could get ready for bed.

A new one I learned last week is 4-4-8 technique. Breathe through your nose. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 8.

Sit in a chair with your back straight. Breathe deeply. Inhale slowly. Hold the breath. Exhale slowly. Do this for five to ten minutes.

Spotify Playlist for Meditation and Calming

Again, do what works for you, and leave the rest.