As I’ve done for previous Mental Health Mondays, this Monday got away from me. And a day late doesn’t end the world. I think that is an important lesson to remember when things in our days get out of hand. I had three things to do yesterday and realized early on that one of them would need to be abandoned. That came with some regret, but I cannot bi-locate (yet) so choices were made. The day was still a time crunch and a lot of driving, but while I didn’t’ get something posted for yesterday, I did remain steadfast in my awareness of my mental health. I knew that I’d need to eat throughout the day. I knew that I’d need to sort out what was for dinner and get the groceries. I knew I needed to plan for the rest of the week, both at home and at work since we’re all “losing” a day to my son’s college commencement. My brother is taking the day off from work to be there, and my daughter is splitting her shift so she can be there and stay for lunch. I should get a cake, but if not, it will be okay since he’s already planning on going to the movies that night with friends. The point is, we all have stuff that comes up in the middle of our carefully laid plans, and how we adapt to them is the basis for how our mental health goes that day and possibly some of the days that follow.
It’s okay to take a break.
We watched Rogue One last night after finishing the Andor series last week, and I only spent time at the very beginning thinking about all the work I needed to be doing on my computer including this post, but I let it go.
Yesterday was a challenge for many of us: those that have challenging mothers, challenging children, mothers who are absent whether by a choice or by death, and everyone, I mean everyone is wishing any woman in sight a ‘happy mother’s day,’ whether they need to or not. It is the society we live in where every day must mean something extra – Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo, Bosses’ Day, Nurses’ Week, Wednesday is Hump Day. Each day has a bit more to include and sometimes exclude.
So how do we cope when we are challenged by these days?
I try to go with the flow. It’s not always easy. My family asks what I want to do on my day. Where do I want to eat? What do I want them to get me? What do I want to do, all day, every minute of this special, special day?
And I’m grateful, I truly am that they want to actually spend time with me, but on the other hand, I’m the cruise director all year. Every day. I’d like a day off. You know what I like. Just pick a place. Just get a token thing. Sign a card. I really don’t have any requirements. I mean, we like cake, so I’d like a cake. A cupcake is good, too. I love cupcakes. Vanilla cupcake. Vanilla frosting. Rainbow sprinkles. Seriously, I’m boring and easy.
And if you’re not boring, your family knows that too.
If you’re not into the whole eating out thing, order in. Get a pizza.
If you’re not into celebrating, stay home and read a book.
Whatever it is that makes you happy or at least content, make your wishes known.
And if it’s not perfect, they tried…take yourself out on Monday…and don’t tell anyone.
I had an enjoyable Mother’s Day, and when I got irritated, I removed myself from the situation. I walked away. Not in a tantrum, not in a snit, I just left and let the rest of them communicate.
No one’s fault, but my Monday, this morning, was not great. I had a misstep on the last step, the one I fell off two years ago and broke two ribs. I stayed upright this time and slammed myself into the front door. That was actually the plan to keep me upright, and it worked. I did twist my knee, but it’s feeling better as the day goes on.
Then I set up a pickup order at Starbucks. I like their blackberry sage refresher, and I’d like it before they get rid of it for the season. I also got my boss a cherry chai that she had been admiring. I went to pick it up. They didn’t have it. It turned out that I put the order in at a different Starbucks about seven miles away, and in the opposite direction from work.
I texted my boss, apologizing, and saying I’d be late.
Picked up the order, a lovely woman held the door open for me (kudos to her kindness), and I get to work…and my boss can’t have caffeine.
I was then told it is a full moon.
And a Monday.
I always think of Adam West’s Batman on days like this: Sometimes, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.
*shrug*
Let’s hope the rest of the day floats along happily or at least doesn’t sink messily.
I made a small graphic thinking about what helps me focus when things get to be too much.
(c)2025
I began to think about where I begin my mental health awareness. How do I become self-aware and how do I keep on track and moving forward?
These four squares came to me in simple ways. They are both simple and entrenched in my way of being. They are my touchstones. They are not necessarily yours. You will find your own touchstones and ways to cope with whatever comes up daily.
In a similar vein, I’d like to share an exercise that I did on a recent retreat with the Dominican Sisters. The main topic was time and how time affects our priorities and ways we can use to change them and shift where we spend our time. While this retreat wasn’t geared towards mental health and awareness of mental health, time plays an important role in how we perceive our mental health challenges and push and pull until we’re being intentional with our time and our mental health, emphasis on health.
Below I explain the exercise, and hope to come back to it in a couple of weeks. I plan to think my own choices and perhaps begin again.
Today is the first of May. It is the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month.
Mental Health Awareness Month has several facets. The two that I find most helpful are
make the outside world aware of what mental health is, what struggles we all face, what can be more difficult struggles some of us face, and letting go of the stigma, encouraging talk and sharing coping tools.
Make yourself aware of your own mental health. Where do you struggle? What are some of your coping plans and tools for getting through a rough patch? Or even just an annoyingly mediocre patch? What’s in your toolbox that still works for you?
In other words, assess yourself, share your struggles, challenges, and successes and be there for others in explaining mental health, coping, and the ongoing recovery. Be there for yourself and for others. Some days you can only do one of those, and that’s okay.
Beginning on Monday, I will be publishing a weekly column called Mental Health Monday. I have done many of these throughout the previous several years. Search through the tags to see older but still valuable approaches and coping tools. Sometimes, we forget and rereading and reestablishing some of them again is a valuable tool.
Reassessment in recovery, I find, is ongoing.
None of the strategies and coping tools that I post this month are intended to suggest you forego medication alternatives. I take medication – both prescription and supplemental, all with my doctor’s input and approval. I wouldn’t be here without medication. Don’t let anyone shame you for taking care of yourself. Just like getting from point A to point B, there are many different roads to travel. Very rarely is there just one way, and one (or more) of them is the right way for you. Changing direction is okay, too.
Recognizing a better way and adapting.
Just as a counter has a take a penny, leave a penny dish, in mental health, take a strategy, leave a strategy.
I’ve always thought of my depression, anxiety, and mental health struggles as a journey – a period of recovery with no tangible cure; only moving forward in my mental health, my mental space, my mental recovery.
This is my path and sometimes we cross paths. This is us crossing paths and offering insight, motivation, and ways to keep getting through.
I don’t need my sweater, but a covering is part of my security. I can put it on to hide and take it off to be open. No one knows this; it’s just for me.
When I wake up, I have a morning ritual that I do. Obviously, this changes if I have an appointment or a schedule I need to keep, but I usually try to slowly wake up and follow my routine. This consists of taking my morning meds, and then getting on my kindle: games, email, threads, banking, and then I begin my day with breakfast, shower, getting dressed, and lately sitting right down at the computer to get my writing in. I like routines.
The first of the games I go to is The Washington Post’s Quotes. They give you a quote, and you have three chances to guess who the speaker is or what they’re speaking about. It scores between one and five points depending on when you guess, but of course, in the grand scheme of things the points don’t matter. Still, I enjoy getting a five on most days. On Fridays, they give you ten questions so that takes a bit longer.
I woke up yesterday and went to the link, but paused, thinking that I did not have time to do ten questions before I needed to start my day, and so I skipped ahead to Wordle, and planned to get back to the quotes later in the afternoon. It took a few minutes, but in the middle of the puzzle, I realized that it wasn’t Friday, but Tuesday.
It’s only Tuesday?!
How long was Monday?!
How could it not be Friday? Monday was like ten days long!
Monday has been ten days long for about six weeks now. Mondays have been so productive and busy that it feels like a week has gone by when I wake up on Tuesday.
I saw a friend last night, and mentioned this to her, and she agreed and said she has the same phenomenon happen to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one living in a prolonged Monday.
I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.
I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.
I checked my planner and began to write this.
I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.
I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.
Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and today’s first Mental Health Monday is a good time to reassess our mental health. How are we feeling? Are things bothering us more than usual? Do we need to adjust our coping toolbox? Where do we begin, and should we schedule this reassessment periodically throughout the year?
Coming off Easter and spring break, it feels as though life should settle down; at least for a little while. I’ve completed my yearly physical. For families with kids in school, like mine, things are just getting started. The school year is coming to an end. They’ve released the testing schedule, the end of year activities, and for our family, the graduation schedule. For my last child in school, she is also graduating from the vo-tec program in cosmetology so there will be two graduation ceremonies. Plus, prom, senior banquet, visiting the elementary schools, preparing for the state boards, and the actual graduations.
I also have a deadline for an article I’m writing for the local Catholic newspaper about St. Kateri Tekakwitha as well as a presentation that needs completing in the next few weeks (that I haven’t even started yet) for the Cursillo community.
I know we’re not the only ones throwing their calendars across the room in frustration at this time of year.
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I have three suggestions:
Be realistic.
Keep ONE calendar.
Lists, lists, and more lists.
Be Realistic
We think we can do more than we actually have time for. My husband is guilty of this. He forgets that things take longer. The movie starts at 7, it takes 20 minutes to drive there plus finding parking, buying a ticket, finding a seat, and he leaves at 6:45. It can be very frustrating, and when it’s my own lack of planning or time-blindness, it is also frustrating and rage-inducing.
Look at the day, and perhaps segment it. What are the time constraints? What appointments/times are rigid and can’t be flexible or fudged with. Plan for thinking time or just five-minute-sitting time and eating. Get up early for some quiet, me time. Try not to stay up too late. Put off what can be put off.
Keep ONE Calendar
For a long time, I had several calendars: school calendar, personal calendar, dry erase for the fridge, Google on my phone, blog planner, editorial, work calendar.
Something inevitably gets left off one calendar and the whole system collapses.
Currently, I have my base calendar which is a weekly/monthly paper planner. I use the monthly for daily life and the weekly for the website plans and writing deadlines. I use stickers to draw attention to due dates that can be referred to in the weekly section. I also have one electronic calendar (Business Calendar 2 Pro app) that is synched between my kindle and my phone. And that’s it. My family works from my calendar when we must coordinate schedules. For vacation or special long-term projects, I may print out a two-week calendar to follow and plan itineraries on.
Lists, Lists, and More Lists
As you know, I love lists. I created a tri-fold list, sectioned with a vertical calendar to keep a list of obligations, what’s for dinner, and the kids’ work schedules. Other lists in other sections include bills to pay, shopping lists, email/calls to send/make, sectioned items that I can list what needs to be done. This will be different based on individual needs. My sections include the two books I’m writing, the interfaith community and Cursillo community obligations, writing workshop I’m taking, writing class I plan to teach, etc.
Lists you might keep could include staff party at work, this week’s Scriptures or readings, library books to borrow, appointments to make, phone calls, follow-ups, a mantra to inspire and influence your week, and/or whatever you may find helpful and necessary.
I encourage you to share any of your tips in the comments. I also welcome any suggestions for benefiting mental health.
Come back each Monday in May for mental health awareness and talk as well as tools to get through the struggles that arise.
Before I share some of my thoughts and suggestions, I’d like to inform readers that I am not a meditation teacher; I only know things that I’ve practiced in classes and what I’ve been taught as well as what seems to work with me. I have done centering prayer a few times, which I find hard to do for any length of time. Last week, for five days, I joined a Mindful Writing Challenge, which began with a five minute meditation that then proceeded to a writing exercise. I really enjoyed how this made me feel. It calmed me; it set my writing time as definitive; it motivated me to get something on the page. And it was consistent. I’ve used similar breath work from a prayer retreat to settle me in before bed. These are what I’m sharing with you with one or two links.
If you have any reason that you can’t do these breathing techniques or stretching, consult your doctor. You do not want to start ANY exercise program (even if it seems minimal) without checking with your health care professional.
I also want to remind readers that it really is okay to simply sit in silence for five to ten minutes. That’s enough for a recharge.
It’s okay to listen to music.
It’s okay to listen to the rain.
It’s okay to just breathe.
Find your center.
I’ll include the link at the end, but my new Spotify playlist dropped this morning, and it has a few musical selections, some with lyrics, some with only music that may help to calm your mind and let yourself go deeper or simply rest.
Try it out. Keep what works; ignore what doesn’t.
This is a 5 minute video with Elena Cheung. Sometimes it’s not the activity, but the person helping you with it. I played this one, and I really like Elena’s voice and personality. That may seem shallow, but if the person you’re hearing is creating stress for you (through no fault of their own), it’s not going to decrease your stress. Do your own googling to find what you like and what you’re comfortable with.
Another breathing style I learned on retreat is a simple Inhale-Exhale saying the words (prayer), Accept (inhale), Surrender (exhale). My teenage daughter was having a really bad day, and I breathed this with her, and it really did a lot to settle her down so she could get ready for bed.
A new one I learned last week is 4-4-8 technique. Breathe through your nose. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 8.
Sit in a chair with your back straight. Breathe deeply. Inhale slowly. Hold the breath. Exhale slowly. Do this for five to ten minutes.
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 