mental health

Mental Health Monday – Challenges

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Yesterday was a challenge for many of us: those that have challenging mothers, challenging children, mothers who are absent whether by a choice or by death, and everyone, I mean everyone is wishing any woman in sight a ‘happy mother’s day,’ whether they need to or not. It is the society we live in where every day must mean something extra – Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo, Bosses’ Day, Nurses’ Week, Wednesday is Hump Day. Each day has a bit more to include and sometimes exclude.

So how do we cope when we are challenged by these days?

I try to go with the flow. It’s not always easy. My family asks what I want to do on my day. Where do I want to eat? What do I want them to get me? What do I want to do, all day, every minute of this special, special day?

And I’m grateful, I truly am that they want to actually spend time with me, but on the other hand, I’m the cruise director all year. Every day. I’d like a day off. You know what I like. Just pick a place. Just get a token thing. Sign a card. I really don’t have any requirements. I mean, we like cake, so I’d like a cake. A cupcake is good, too. I love cupcakes. Vanilla cupcake. Vanilla frosting. Rainbow sprinkles. Seriously, I’m boring and easy.

And if you’re not boring, your family knows that too.

If you’re not into the whole eating out thing, order in. Get a pizza.

If you’re not into celebrating, stay home and read a book.

Whatever it is that makes you happy or at least content, make your wishes known.

And if it’s not perfect, they tried…take yourself out on Monday…and don’t tell anyone.

I had an enjoyable Mother’s Day, and when I got irritated, I removed myself from the situation. I walked away. Not in a tantrum, not in a snit, I just left and let the rest of them communicate.

No one’s fault, but my Monday, this morning, was not great. I had a misstep on the last step, the one I fell off two years ago and broke two ribs. I stayed upright this time and slammed myself into the front door. That was actually the plan to keep me upright, and it worked. I did twist my knee, but it’s feeling better as the day goes on.

Then I set up a pickup order at Starbucks. I like their blackberry sage refresher, and I’d like it before they get rid of it for the season. I also got my boss a cherry chai that she had been admiring. I went to pick it up. They didn’t have it. It turned out that I put the order in at a different Starbucks about seven miles away, and in the opposite direction from work.

I texted my boss, apologizing, and saying I’d be late.

Picked up the order, a lovely woman held the door open for me (kudos to her kindness), and I get to work…and my boss can’t have caffeine.

I was then told it is a full moon.

And a Monday.

I always think of Adam West’s Batman on days like this: Sometimes, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.

*shrug*

Let’s hope the rest of the day floats along happily or at least doesn’t sink messily.

A Mama and her Fine Feathered Babys. (c)2025

Mental Health Monday – Focus

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I made a small graphic thinking about what helps me focus when things get to be too much.

(c)2025

I began to think about where I begin my mental health awareness. How do I become self-aware and how do I keep on track and moving forward?

These four squares came to me in simple ways. They are both simple and entrenched in my way of being. They are my touchstones. They are not necessarily yours. You will find your own touchstones and ways to cope with whatever comes up daily.

In a similar vein, I’d like to share an exercise that I did on a recent retreat with the Dominican Sisters. The main topic was time and how time affects our priorities and ways we can use to change them and shift where we spend our time. While this retreat wasn’t geared towards mental health and awareness of mental health, time plays an important role in how we perceive our mental health challenges and push and pull until we’re being intentional with our time and our mental health, emphasis on health.

Below I explain the exercise, and hope to come back to it in a couple of weeks. I plan to think my own choices and perhaps begin again.

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Mental Health Awareness Month

Green rubber bracelet with the words: Mental Health Awareness Month, resting on a wooden, finger labyrinth
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An Overview of the Month Ahead

Today is the first of May. It is the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month.

Mental Health Awareness Month has several facets. The two that I find most helpful are

  1. make the outside world aware of what mental health is, what struggles we all face, what can be more difficult struggles some of us face, and letting go of the stigma, encouraging talk and sharing coping tools.
  2. Make yourself aware of your own mental health. Where do you struggle? What are some of your coping plans and tools for getting through a rough patch? Or even just an annoyingly mediocre patch? What’s in your toolbox that still works for you?

In other words, assess yourself, share your struggles, challenges, and successes and be there for others in explaining mental health, coping, and the ongoing recovery. Be there for yourself and for others. Some days you can only do one of those, and that’s okay.

Beginning on Monday, I will be publishing a weekly column called Mental Health Monday. I have done many of these throughout the previous several years. Search through the tags to see older but still valuable approaches and coping tools. Sometimes, we forget and rereading and reestablishing some of them again is a valuable tool.

Reassessment in recovery, I find, is ongoing.

None of the strategies and coping tools that I post this month are intended to suggest you forego medication alternatives. I take medication – both prescription and supplemental, all with my doctor’s input and approval. I wouldn’t be here without medication. Don’t let anyone shame you for taking care of yourself. Just like getting from point A to point B, there are many different roads to travel. Very rarely is there just one way, and one (or more) of them is the right way for you. Changing direction is okay, too.

Recognizing a better way and adapting.

Just as a counter has a take a penny, leave a penny dish, in mental health, take a strategy, leave a strategy.

We are all here to help each other.

The tag “mental health monday” is your dish to choose from.

I’ve always thought of my depression, anxiety, and mental health struggles as a journey – a period of recovery with no tangible cure; only moving forward in my mental health, my mental space, my mental recovery.

This is my path and sometimes we cross paths. This is us crossing paths and offering insight, motivation, and ways to keep getting through.

Mental Health Monday

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It’s hard to believe that this is the first MHM of the new year. And it’s the second week of February. It goes without saying that we probably could have used a mental health check and break long  before today with everything going on in the world.

I’m becoming someone I don’t like. Uncaring. Inflexible. Intolerant. Angry. Vengeful.

This Administration is beyond appalling, and the spiderweb of fissions emanating out from the center of it will have lasting ramifications long after he and his corrupt associates are gone, dead, and buried.

We think the government is so big, but the reality is that while we can trim the fate from excessive spending, there are reasons for some of it.

One example: USAID. Funds ceased. Employees laid off or furloughed. Those people won’t be able to pay bills, rent, mortgages. Those companies will then not be able to pay their bills. And what about where the funds go? Kids across the globe will not receive schooling, medicine, safe water to drink, healthy food to eat. Shelter. And even if you don’t care about the world’s children, what about the Midwest farmers who will lose billions of dollars in lost revenue because USAID is no longer paying them for their products. Those people have their own kids to feed, bills to pay, and businesses to run. But the richest man in the world cut off their funding with complicit Republicans in Congress and the President.

Now, reading this, it wasn’t supposed to be a political post; it’s supposed to be about your (and my) mental health, but here we are.

Even when the topic isn’t the dystopia that’s enveloping us in the US and that we’re projecting on our allies and neighbors, it comes down to what is sabotaging our mental health.

For my family, while money is still a touchy subject and issue for us, I am now working. Part-time. We’ve made the commitment not to spend my paycheck except on overdue bills, medical bills that insurance doesn’t cover, and saving for our family vacation. So far, except for Christmas and other holidays, we’re managing as planned.

Our family is no different in many ways than many of those reading it.

How are you coping with the world at large so far this year? How are you coping with the little things that writ large because when we’re struggling there all big things?

5 Things I’ve Done Since the New Year

  1. Breathe. Always keep breathng.
  2. Journal. Write it down. Even if you eventually toss it in the trash, get it out.
  3. Take a Break. When I drove my son to work this morning, I had two hours until my next appointment/commitment. I went to Starbucks for an hour and enjoyed my new favorite drink. (And of course, listening to their perfect playlist!)
  4. Meditate/Contemplate. In whatever way you find comfortable. For some of us that’s sitting in nature. For others, it’s power walking around the mall. Some of us pray, and some of us watch mindless television.
  5. Social Media. Whether that’s consuming more or less, free blocking the people who sabotage your mental health and mental safety. Decide how much you want in your life. (Of course, this will change over time – you’ll take in more, you’ll avoid more, depending on life’s circumstances, and that’s ok.)

Mental Health Monday – Election Edition

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Whatever happens (or doesn’t happen) tomorrow and in the following weeks, once you’ve cast your vote, there isn’t anything left to do. Settling into that in-between time between when the polls open and when the President-Elect is announced can be fraught with anxiety and worry. I feel it, too.

I’m going to vote first thing in the morning with my final first-time voter child, have an unhealthy breakfast (probably McDonald’s), drop my other child off at work, and then go to work myself, and then I’m going to let it go until I catch up to Rachel Maddow in the evening.

We planned our dinner around watching the returns, but my plan is to remain in a neutral frame of mind. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about the outcome – I care very much, but it will be out of my hands, and I need to hope that everyone understood the assignment.

My advice to anyone who’s very anxious is to turn off the television and do something else. You will know when it’s time to come back to the news. Read a book. Drink water. Watch a rom-com or another favorite genre. I may hit up the Supernatural reruns because they soothe me. What soothes you? Use it.

And tomorrow, we’ll see what the world wants to tell us.

Peace.

Mental Health Monday  – Time, Take Two

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I received a notification on one of my posts. Of course, I went to see which one, and since it was a MHM and I’ve been struggling with those this month, I took a minute to read it. It was this one–MHM: Time. As I read it, I immediately noticed that it could have been written this week. While Rosh Hashanah isn’t for a couple of more weeks, Tomie de Paola’s birthday was indeed last weekend. I thought about how apropos this post is to my current circumstance. Perhaps it’s the time of year: Back to School, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and this year: Cursillo weekend and starting a new job (yes, you read that right!)

September is also Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and I’ve been wanting to bring it to your attention but haven’t been able to sit down and write about it.

The notification from sammichristopher (thank you!) reminded me that time will still pass and some things won’t get done in the space I’ve planned for them. That’s why I rely so much on lists and calendars, and reminders. In the case of this website, there is always more time. Things can be paused and waited on, and the gravity will not collapse and the world will not stop spinning. In fact, most of the time, no one will notice except me, and I need to just calm the eff down!

Take some time for yourself today and tomorrow.

And even the next day.

I plan to gather what I can for the Cursillo weekend and mail out those important papers, and drive from Aldi to Aldi searching for the compression socks my doctor wants me to start wearing, but first: breakfast, a strong cup of tea, a chapter of a book, and a deep breath, and then the day can go on.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, know that there are resources out there: Call the Crisis Hotline at 988, and talk to someone; get the help you need. Take a step back and take care of yourself.

Mental Health Monday – Being Okay

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Or not.

I didn’t bring my sweater.

I don’t need my sweater, but a covering is part of my security. I can put it on to hide and take it off to be open. No one knows this; it’s just for me.

What’s important to you is important to you.

It’s okay to have stuff just for you.

And it’s okay to be not okay.

Have the best day you can today.

Mental Health Monday and a Half

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When I wake up, I have a morning ritual that I do. Obviously, this changes if I have an appointment or a schedule I need to keep, but I usually try to slowly wake up and follow my routine. This consists of taking my morning meds, and then getting on my kindle: games, email, threads, banking, and then I begin my day with breakfast, shower, getting dressed, and lately sitting right down at the computer to get my writing in. I like routines.

The first of the games I go to is The Washington Post’s Quotes. They give you a quote, and you have three chances to guess who the speaker is or what they’re speaking about. It scores between one and five points depending on when you guess, but of course, in the grand scheme of things the points don’t matter. Still, I enjoy getting a five on most days. On Fridays, they give you ten questions so that takes a bit longer.

I woke up yesterday and went to the link, but paused, thinking that I did not have time to do ten questions before I needed to start my day, and so I skipped ahead to Wordle, and planned to get back to the quotes later in the afternoon. It took a few minutes, but in the middle of the puzzle, I realized that it wasn’t Friday, but Tuesday.

It’s only Tuesday?!

How long was Monday?!

How could it not be Friday? Monday was like ten days long!

Monday has been ten days long for about six weeks now. Mondays have been so productive and busy that it feels like a week has gone by when I wake up on Tuesday.

I saw a friend last night, and mentioned this to her, and she agreed and said she has the same phenomenon happen to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one living in a prolonged Monday.

FYI today is Wednesday.

Mental Health Monday – Take a Break

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I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.

I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.

I checked my planner and began to write this.

I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.

I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.

Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.

Mental Health Monday – Post Holidays

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Many of us have been in Christmas mode since mid-December. And that’s not to leave out any non-Christians and their holidays. Our work week revolves around the Christmas holiday, and while we celebrate Chanukah and a couple of birthdays, we all share the same days off during the holidays. Some have even had one to two weeks off from work, and those two weeks have probably not been relaxing. Family and holiday responsibilities can take it out of us. Even though I work from home, with the kids returning to school and work, and one more Christmas dinner with our family, it is important to be aware of how we’re feeling, now we’re coping, and how we’re getting through the days in reorienting to the sometimes less exciting days that follow the holidays.

Five quick tips to re-enter the world after the holidays.

  1. Give yourself a little extra time in the mornings before work. Whether that means meditation, prayer, reading a book chapter, or having a hot cup of tea, take the time to acclimate to the morning with something refreshing and soothing before you hit the traffic and the workday.
  2. Listen to music on the way to work in your car or through headphones on your commute.
  3. Journal. It doesn’t need to be long or poetic; just jot some thoughts down in a notebook and keep it going for this first week back.
  4. Plan your meals for the week. It can be incredibly de-stressing just knowing what’s for dinner even if you still need to go shopping for the groceries. For the first time in a long time, we planned five days in a row, which is a minor miracle in this house.
  5. Give yourself breaks during the day. This first week back can seem like a month. Take the time you need. Stretch. Drink lots of water. Have a cup of tea or a snack (chocolate chip cookies make a great snack!)

Happy New Year!