Piece by Piece

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This year’s Halloween costume combines many of the things I love. My go-to costume for years was my 14th century cothardie from my medieval days. I missed a few years for my kids, but I have been dressing up in recent years even though I stay home to hand out the candy instead of walking around with the kids. I had considered dressing up as Ellen Harvelle from Supernatural or Charlie Bradbury, also from Supernatural, but in the end opted for The Walking Dead’s Maggie Greene.

I was a bit put off from Maggie because of my body type and it being so different from hers. However, one day a couple of weeks ago, I was getting dressed and was kind of astounded at how much my fall wardrobe resembled her post-apocalyptic couture.

It’s nice, or extremely disconcerting that my everyday wardrobe is apocalypse appropriate.

Layers are the key in any kind of end of the world fashion scenario. Should I wear a jacket? Or an extra long sleeved shirt? This overshirt can be removed and tied around my waist, especially during those sultry Georgia summers.

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AMC Orders Norman Reedus Biker Reality Series | Deadline

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Ride with Norman Reedus

Really excited for this for a lot of reasons, two being my vicarious love of motorcycles; they’re one of the things I would love to do if I weren’t me! Second reason is my huge respect for Norman and his eye for art. I went out yesterday taking photographs and I unintentionally had him in my mind as inspiration.

After seeing his interview about his book, I really have a new eye on some of my scene setting – that’s not the right phrase but I can’t think of the word; I just know the feeling came from his interview on Capture alongside Al Wertheimer.

I took two yesterday in particular that I’m really proud of, just trying to figure out how to post them here.

The Day After the Day After

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[Author’s Note: This isn’t meta per se, but it does contain spoilers, however vague for The Walking Dead and Harry Potter. If you have not seen TWD 6:3 or read Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows, you might want to skip this.]

For those of you who are fans of an ongoing series, whether it be movies, books or a television series will understand the emotional upheaval that comes with the loss of a character so integral to the story; at least in your mind’s view of the characters and the story. Now, I’m almost positive (about 98% sure) that this character is coming back in two weeks, but that doesn’t change the initial feeling of seeing someone you have come to love over the past five years suddenly, and unexpectedly die. Horribly.

The initial ‘oh crap, he’s in a real pickle’ to ‘wait, why isn’t he getting out of said pickle’ to ‘OMGWTFISHAPPENING?! NOOOOOO! NOT HIM!!!!!!’ can suddenly propel you into a deep sadness and sense of denial; deep denial.

I’ve been there, in denial, since the episode aired, and I’m going to stay there for a bit longer. It was one of the reasons I didn’t post yesterday; I just didn’t feel it. I’m only know coming back.

That is the only way I can explain what happened to me between approximately 9:45pm on Sunday night and pretty much right now.

The last time I had this happen so intensely was in the summer of 2007 when JK Rowling killed Fred Weasley. I don’t care who actually said the spell, the Killing Curse, JK’s responsible and she knows it. And no, JK, if you’re reading this, I still have not forgiven you. That emotional upheaval sent me to Live Journal and down the rabbit hole of a world of fan fiction and meta and other passionate fans of all stripes, and it’s safe to say my life will never be the same.

I wouldn’t call what I’m feeling depression. Despite the lethargy, the not wanting to get out of bed, loss of appetite except for the cheese doodle craving, the rewatching of the offending episode, the constant thought processes figuring out his last minute escape, I know that this isn’t a clinical depression or even a situational one. However, that doesn’t mean that these feelings are not real.

It’s very real.

Especially for those who have little by the way of in person family and friends, who find comfort in the escape of a television series that they love, who find a strong support network in fandom.

For some of us, it’s just plain fun. For others, it’s escape; it’s coping; it’s so many things that unless you experience it, you can’t begin to name them all, and they come in multiples as well: fun and escape. Fun and coping. Coping and inspiration.
For me, it’s many of those things.

For those, even those in my own household, who say it’s only a TV show, yes, it is, but it is also more, even to them. Why else would they block out at least an hour each week to watch it? I’ve mentioned that in our family, this is the biggest fall season I can ever remember. My oldest son does a lot of his watching on the internet, but for the rest of us, we have our shows and we love them and we get together practically every day to share in the experience of a new episode.

We watch; we predict; we laugh; we cry. Sometimes we live vicariously through them. I wouldn’t want to experience a zombie apocalypse but I’d like to think that I have the will and the ability to survive it; to continue to live my life; to not lose myself in this new chaotic world.

That is one of the things this character in particular embodied. While other characters changed for the worse, and others have changed for the better, and we learn something from all of them, this character has an inherent goodness that is needed in this seemingly no good future world. He is good, and he’s kind. He’s compassionate and he shows mercy; sometimes when maybe he shouldn’t. But he’s kept his moral compass focused, and to lose that is to lose something special and significant.

I know he’s coming back.

But he might not. Or escaping this, he might die later on in the series.

That’s what I’m mourning these last two days. We’re going to lose him, and we’re going to need to cope with that loss. This was a test of some sort, but all it showed us is how ill-prepared we are and we will be when this character and others like him don’t make it.

What happens when he’s really dead?

The other characters will move on. They’ll mourn, and they’ll cry. They’ll be angry and take their frustrations out maybe where they shouldn’t, but they, along with us will get through it somehow.

We’ll always get through it somehow.

Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, but in recreating lives on television or in books, we get a little bit of a dress rehearsal where we can see our reactions to losing someone we love, to seeing the good in people, and in being able to change our own selves for the better while we still have the chance.

It’s one of the reasons we gravitate towards characters that are both so alike and so different from ourselves. Just in the episode, we saw a character change for the better even if he couldn’t handle the realities of this world.

But that doesn’t mean we give up on the rest of those characters who need to change; who want to change and are changing right before our eyes.

He’s is the only one with enough heart to take them under his wings and teach them to fly; teach us to fly. There is still much to learn and much to do. We need him to guide us there.

While I know he’ll be back, I’m still also mourning. We still lost something. Only time will tell what that is.

TWD: Observations and Predictions

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I haven’t gone back and looked at my original speculation meta for season 6, but I know from the first two episodes that have already aired that I was way, way off. I’m kind of disappointed in myself, but instead of hiding my face in shame and throwing myself into a zombie hoard, I thought I’d have at it again.

I’ve been thinking about what we’ve seen already, and whether I want them to or not, predictions keep popping into my head. It’s probably the writer in me.

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Welcome to the Future

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Back to the Future, that is.

Today is the day that Marty McFly (portrayed by Michael J. Fox) travels thirty years ahead to change his son’s future. For better or for worse, after today it will all be in the past.

Check out some predictions made in the movie, some have been created before today, and some we’re still waiting for.

Hoverboards anyone?

While you’re at it, check out Christopher Lloyd (who played Dr. Emmett Brown) and Michael J. Fox in this new video from Toyota.

And Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and Lea Thompson on the Today Show this morning.

This movie trilogy is a good reminder to us all that what we dream about can come true as long as we stick to it, and have faith in ourselves.

And I’m all for anything that has fandom on the tips of mainstream tongues.

My Fandom History, Abridged Version

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In high school I wrote fan fiction (although we didn’t call it that then) for The White Shadow.; Mary Sue self-insert. I wrote RPG spy fiction. Again Mary Sue self-insert, but with a little more character development. I wrote band fic; less Mary Sue, more career exploration. I was a photojournalist for the opening act, and I guess except for the band, I kind of try to do that now with my blog. It reminds me of the inspiration and the you can do anything feeling that I forgot about in my thirties.

I like to think I’ve gotten better, both as a writer and a creator of original content. Those three examples are not something I usually share. It’s in the embarrassing box of teen angst, and hiding my fan side in the closet. It’s okay with certain people, but not others, and that’s how we give off the aloof, quiet, introvert vibe. Some of us are those things, but as a whole, fans are exuberant and fun and loud; very loud.

My first fandom was Star Trek. I was in every aspect of fandom. I watched every episode multiple times, I knew every episode by heart, I learned Klingon, I went to conventions. I bought the books and set my clock by Starlog’s publication date. Star Trek led me into every other science-fiction/fantasy from space to dragons to magic to time travel. There were watching parties, and special menus for mystery dinner nights. I could recognize later generation actors out of their makeup by their voices or body language. I’ve stood hours in line for autographs, but in those early days, we didn’t pay for them.

As a TV junkie, I’ve followed many actors on their careers. Shaun Cassidy for one; William Shatner and George Takei for others. I’ve gone in and out of fandoms, although most of them continue to have a place in my heart. I was recently reminded of H.R. Pufnstuf, one of my favorite shows and Land of the Lost by the same team of Sid & Marty Kroft.

I belonged to the SCA, which in and of itself is its own fandom; the fandom of medieval history. I’d claim to be a history buff and a political junkie, but those are just different words for fan and for the fandoms.

Fandom now is far more extensive and out in the open than I ever imagined it would be. There are mainstream stores in the malls dedicated to them: Hot Topic, and you can find licensed merchandise from Minecraft to Lego to DC and Marvel Comics franchises in Wal-Mart and Target. You can’t get more mainstream than that.

When my daughter was three, I found a beautiful, mostly historic rendition of a velvet scarlet Spanish Renaissance gown with a matching velvet tiara for Halloween. That was in Target, and it was less than $20. It would have cost three times that or more for me to make it for her. The only princess costume I could ever wear as a child growing up were those plastic ones of Sleeping Beauty. My face still gets hot when I even think about it.

We’re not embarrassed to say our pop culture loves, and there is no wrong way to be in fandom. Many of us wax and wane on our involvement, and which fandom gets the most attention at one time.

Harry Potter was the book series that brought me into today’s fandom. It was loaned from a friend who thought I might like it. I did. With Harry Potter came movies – in fact, Prisoner of Azkaban was the first movie I ever attended alone. In addition to the movies, I discovered a whole new world on Live Journal of fan fiction, and from there found other fans, and groups, and sub-fandoms, and meta – the analysis of the details. No longer would the minutia of details be relegated to small groups meeting in basements and youth centers once a week or month. Now, the minutia is everywhere. There are headcanons and alternate universes (AUs). There are wikis for individual television shows, movies, and comic book characters. There are kinks and squicks, which aren’t always sexual in nature, but preferential, and their are triggers and spoiler etiquette.

I hear my non-fandom friends expressing fandom sentiments like canon and ships. Many of my closest friends are originally from fandom. What we’ve discovered in fandom is that in addition to our mutual love of fandom, we also have families and jobs and our mundane life doesn’t need to be so mundane as our friendships broaden and include people from across the country and around the world who we never would have met if not for our intersecting fandoms. In turn, we share our views and our values, we accept and learn.

I would say that the fandom I am most involved in is Supernatural. I’m sure most people would have guessed The Walking Dead, and while I do consider myself in that fandom, I don’t get to meet and know the people who are also in it except for Norman ReedusFacebook and Instagram.
With Supernatural, there is tumblr, conventions (even though I don’t attend), watching parties, meta, fan fiction, discussions, speculation, compassion and kindness. Every day I witness those last two in the fandom. It was there already, but is even more pronounced with Misha Collins’ charity, Random Acts and gishwhes, his annual scavenger hunt.

Supernatural showed me a literal whole new world, and was instrumental in my recovery from depression. I love the shows, I love the plots and the characters and the fan family, but I also keep Supernatural on as my background noise. I know many of the episodes so it doesn’t interfere with my writing or my living for the most part, but the voices give me the soft comfort, the hand on my shoulder, the short, quick hug when I need it. We all must have something like that in our lives, and for me, Supernatural is it.

Fandom is here to stay, and I for one, am glad of it. It is so much of my life that I forget when I’m talking to a non-fandom person that they don’t know the details; that the casual viewer doesn’t recognize the reference back three seasons, or the foreshadowing.

Fandom is a life unto itself, and a life unto others. It is supportive and comfort in a loud, sometimes angry world. It can be hope and faith, some of the things that most of my fandoms ascribe to be; a better world in the future, a future of exploration and creating; of ideals and compassion, and so many of the things we embrace and try to emulate in our own lives.

Fall Television, Mondays, and October

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I mentioned last week that I was out of town, and so I missed a few days here. My plan for the fall is to have new posts Monday through Friday, and see how that schedule goes for me, as, a writer and you, the reader. I’ll be putting up a poll later to see which of those daily features you’d like me to continue this season.

Each week, I have tried to choose a theme and keep it in mind to focus on. October is one of those extremely busy months in actual activities in my life, and monthly awareness in the world. World Mental Health Day was just a few days ago. October recognizes awareness and celebrations of:

Breast Cancer
Domestic Violence
Fire Prevention and Safety
LGBT History
Black History in the UK
Literacy
Pregnancy and Infant Loss
The Holy Rosary

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day and today is Columbus Day in the US, Thanksgiving in Canada, and Day of the Race in Mexico.

October is also ridiculously busy for me with family fun and stuff going on at the schools with fall festivals, back to school nights, recreation nights, eight week writing workshop, applepicking, my son’s birthday, Halloween, and this year, our school district celebrated its Centennial.

Busy.

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Fandom Meta: Daryl’s Sexuality

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I decided to write this after a discussion with my husband when I first began to watch The Walking Dead. That was in the middle of the fifth season. During the mid-season hiatus, I was able to catch up with four years of episodes on Netflix. Over the years, since the beginning that my husband’s watched, he tried to get me into it by telling me the plot storylines each week. I mostly ignored him. I’m not a fan of zombies. I didn’t expect this to be any different. On the other hand, that didn’t stop me from having a favorite character: Daryl, of course. I am a fan of anyone who does archery, and he is the resident bowman. As a proud Sagittarian, I added him to my personal archer list that includes Robin Hood, Merida, Katniss, and The Avenger’s Hawkeye among others. Consequently, my husband regaled me with stories of Daryl and his brother Merle, even more so after seeing Michael Rooker [the actor who plays Merle] in Guardians of the Galaxy. I knew about the barn. I knew about the bar. I liked and understood Shane’s motivation, which made my husband crazy. I was not a fan of Carol’s, which also made my husband crazy.

What brought me on the meta train, however, was his talking about Daryl and Beth and Carol, and the fan response; the shippers. Who would he get with? Or was he gay? Is Rick more his game?

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Speculation: The Walking Dead Season 6 Trailer

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SPOILERS FOR SEASONS 1-6
WARNING For Language

I think we can all agree that this trailer is chock full of red herrings and wild goose chases. Every time I watch the trailer I see or hear something new that excites me and scares me for the characters. Things are shown out of order, out of context, they make it appear as if characters are talking to or about other ones, they show them, but we know that most of those transitions are misleading. We also know it’s intentional. TPTB can’t wait until we watch those scenes throughout the season, and see where our speculation went wrong. Or right.

Right or wrong or somewhere in between, this is mine. Unfortunately, because of the way the trailer is put together this meta might go back and forth in time and speculation. For example, the first scene where Rick is running, he’s not wearing any of the steri strips that he had after his fight with Pete, but when he’s talking to the Alexandrians, and with Morgan and Daryl, the morning after and the night of Reg’s death, he is wearing them, so right off the bat we’ve got a trailer out of order, but trying to make us think that it’s chronological. I also read that season 6 will play with time, opening in the middle of an action scene and then showing us past times, why things happened and how some of our characters got to where they are today.

Exciting!

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Gishwhes is – – –

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When I named this week artistry and spirituality, one of the first things that came to mind for that theme was my time with gishwhes. At first glance, gishwhes is ridiculously crazy, non stop thinking and doing and creating, but somehow in the middle of that is this low-key baseline of calm. There really is something very spiritual about being on a team and contributing to others, both in tangible ways and in encouragement. The underlying mission of gishwhes is to create art and do good.

Gishwhes is just as much random acts of crazy as it is random acts of kindness. It is all things, but it is different things to each participant, and that is one of the things that makes it so spiritual. Each year, I discover more about myself than the year before, and I grow in the good ways. I get to leave my self imposed box; my comfort zone goes on holiday while I step up and step out.

Started in 2012 by actor Misha Collins, gishwhes is a week long international scavenger hunt/competition. Teams are made up of fifteen people from all over the world. often coming together as strangers and leaving as friends, gishwhes is a way to test yourself, find yourself, and be yourself.

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