Whatever happens (or doesn’t happen) tomorrow and in the following weeks, once you’ve cast your vote, there isn’t anything left to do. Settling into that in-between time between when the polls open and when the President-Elect is announced can be fraught with anxiety and worry. I feel it, too.
I’m going to vote first thing in the morning with my final first-time voter child, have an unhealthy breakfast (probably McDonald’s), drop my other child off at work, and then go to work myself, and then I’m going to let it go until I catch up to Rachel Maddow in the evening.
We planned our dinner around watching the returns, but my plan is to remain in a neutral frame of mind. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about the outcome – I care very much, but it will be out of my hands, and I need to hope that everyone understood the assignment.
My advice to anyone who’s very anxious is to turn off the television and do something else. You will know when it’s time to come back to the news. Read a book. Drink water. Watch a rom-com or another favorite genre. I may hit up the Supernatural reruns because they soothe me. What soothes you? Use it.
And tomorrow, we’ll see what the world wants to tell us.
I received a notification on one of my posts. Of course, I went to see which one, and since it was a MHM and I’ve been struggling with those this month, I took a minute to read it. It was this one–MHM: Time. As I read it, I immediately noticed that it could have been written this week. While Rosh Hashanah isn’t for a couple of more weeks, Tomie de Paola’s birthday was indeed last weekend. I thought about how apropos this post is to my current circumstance. Perhaps it’s the time of year: Back to School, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and this year: Cursillo weekend and starting a new job (yes, you read that right!)
September is also Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and I’ve been wanting to bring it to your attention but haven’t been able to sit down and write about it.
The notification from sammichristopher (thank you!) reminded me that time will still pass and some things won’t get done in the space I’ve planned for them. That’s why I rely so much on lists and calendars, and reminders. In the case of this website, there is always more time. Things can be paused and waited on, and the gravity will not collapse and the world will not stop spinning. In fact, most of the time, no one will notice except me, and I need to just calm the eff down!
Take some time for yourself today and tomorrow.
And even the next day.
I plan to gather what I can for the Cursillo weekend and mail out those important papers, and drive from Aldi to Aldi searching for the compression socks my doctor wants me to start wearing, but first: breakfast, a strong cup of tea, a chapter of a book, and a deep breath, and then the day can go on.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, know that there are resources out there: Call the Crisis Hotline at 988, and talk to someone; get the help you need. Take a step back and take care of yourself.
I don’t need my sweater, but a covering is part of my security. I can put it on to hide and take it off to be open. No one knows this; it’s just for me.
When I wake up, I have a morning ritual that I do. Obviously, this changes if I have an appointment or a schedule I need to keep, but I usually try to slowly wake up and follow my routine. This consists of taking my morning meds, and then getting on my kindle: games, email, threads, banking, and then I begin my day with breakfast, shower, getting dressed, and lately sitting right down at the computer to get my writing in. I like routines.
The first of the games I go to is The Washington Post’s Quotes. They give you a quote, and you have three chances to guess who the speaker is or what they’re speaking about. It scores between one and five points depending on when you guess, but of course, in the grand scheme of things the points don’t matter. Still, I enjoy getting a five on most days. On Fridays, they give you ten questions so that takes a bit longer.
I woke up yesterday and went to the link, but paused, thinking that I did not have time to do ten questions before I needed to start my day, and so I skipped ahead to Wordle, and planned to get back to the quotes later in the afternoon. It took a few minutes, but in the middle of the puzzle, I realized that it wasn’t Friday, but Tuesday.
It’s only Tuesday?!
How long was Monday?!
How could it not be Friday? Monday was like ten days long!
Monday has been ten days long for about six weeks now. Mondays have been so productive and busy that it feels like a week has gone by when I wake up on Tuesday.
I saw a friend last night, and mentioned this to her, and she agreed and said she has the same phenomenon happen to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one living in a prolonged Monday.
I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.
I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.
I checked my planner and began to write this.
I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.
I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.
Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and today’s first Mental Health Monday is a good time to reassess our mental health. How are we feeling? Are things bothering us more than usual? Do we need to adjust our coping toolbox? Where do we begin, and should we schedule this reassessment periodically throughout the year?
Coming off Easter and spring break, it feels as though life should settle down; at least for a little while. I’ve completed my yearly physical. For families with kids in school, like mine, things are just getting started. The school year is coming to an end. They’ve released the testing schedule, the end of year activities, and for our family, the graduation schedule. For my last child in school, she is also graduating from the vo-tec program in cosmetology so there will be two graduation ceremonies. Plus, prom, senior banquet, visiting the elementary schools, preparing for the state boards, and the actual graduations.
I also have a deadline for an article I’m writing for the local Catholic newspaper about St. Kateri Tekakwitha as well as a presentation that needs completing in the next few weeks (that I haven’t even started yet) for the Cursillo community.
I know we’re not the only ones throwing their calendars across the room in frustration at this time of year.
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I have three suggestions:
Be realistic.
Keep ONE calendar.
Lists, lists, and more lists.
Be Realistic
We think we can do more than we actually have time for. My husband is guilty of this. He forgets that things take longer. The movie starts at 7, it takes 20 minutes to drive there plus finding parking, buying a ticket, finding a seat, and he leaves at 6:45. It can be very frustrating, and when it’s my own lack of planning or time-blindness, it is also frustrating and rage-inducing.
Look at the day, and perhaps segment it. What are the time constraints? What appointments/times are rigid and can’t be flexible or fudged with. Plan for thinking time or just five-minute-sitting time and eating. Get up early for some quiet, me time. Try not to stay up too late. Put off what can be put off.
Keep ONE Calendar
For a long time, I had several calendars: school calendar, personal calendar, dry erase for the fridge, Google on my phone, blog planner, editorial, work calendar.
Something inevitably gets left off one calendar and the whole system collapses.
Currently, I have my base calendar which is a weekly/monthly paper planner. I use the monthly for daily life and the weekly for the website plans and writing deadlines. I use stickers to draw attention to due dates that can be referred to in the weekly section. I also have one electronic calendar (Business Calendar 2 Pro app) that is synched between my kindle and my phone. And that’s it. My family works from my calendar when we must coordinate schedules. For vacation or special long-term projects, I may print out a two-week calendar to follow and plan itineraries on.
Lists, Lists, and More Lists
As you know, I love lists. I created a tri-fold list, sectioned with a vertical calendar to keep a list of obligations, what’s for dinner, and the kids’ work schedules. Other lists in other sections include bills to pay, shopping lists, email/calls to send/make, sectioned items that I can list what needs to be done. This will be different based on individual needs. My sections include the two books I’m writing, the interfaith community and Cursillo community obligations, writing workshop I’m taking, writing class I plan to teach, etc.
Lists you might keep could include staff party at work, this week’s Scriptures or readings, library books to borrow, appointments to make, phone calls, follow-ups, a mantra to inspire and influence your week, and/or whatever you may find helpful and necessary.
I encourage you to share any of your tips in the comments. I also welcome any suggestions for benefiting mental health.
Come back each Monday in May for mental health awareness and talk as well as tools to get through the struggles that arise.
Many of us have been in Christmas mode since mid-December. And that’s not to leave out any non-Christians and their holidays. Our work week revolves around the Christmas holiday, and while we celebrate Chanukah and a couple of birthdays, we all share the same days off during the holidays. Some have even had one to two weeks off from work, and those two weeks have probably not been relaxing. Family and holiday responsibilities can take it out of us. Even though I work from home, with the kids returning to school and work, and one more Christmas dinner with our family, it is important to be aware of how we’re feeling, now we’re coping, and how we’re getting through the days in reorienting to the sometimes less exciting days that follow the holidays.
Five quick tips to re-enter the world after the holidays.
Give yourself a little extra time in the mornings before work. Whether that means meditation, prayer, reading a book chapter, or having a hot cup of tea, take the time to acclimate to the morning with something refreshing and soothing before you hit the traffic and the workday.
Listen to music on the way to work in your car or through headphones on your commute.
Journal. It doesn’t need to be long or poetic; just jot some thoughts down in a notebook and keep it going for this first week back.
Plan your meals for the week. It can be incredibly de-stressing just knowing what’s for dinner even if you still need to go shopping for the groceries. For the first time in a long time, we planned five days in a row, which is a minor miracle in this house.
Give yourself breaks during the day. This first week back can seem like a month. Take the time you need. Stretch. Drink lots of water. Have a cup of tea or a snack (chocolate chip cookies make a great snack!)
I know technically it’s Friday, but hasn’t every day this week been a Monday?
Holiday time is a struggle without the added anxiety of an anxiety disorder. Or any other mental health issue for that matter. For our family, our annual struggle to get things done has been compounded by my bout of covid which I promptly shared with my husband. Thankfully, my quarantine is over and his should end this weekend, just in time for our oldest to come for dinner. It’s a never-ending dance of “what’s for dinner?”, “when is the tree going up?*”, “we missed the last two nights of Chanukah; now what?”, and of course, the ever perennial, “who’s missing Christmas presents?”, and towards me “what to do you want for Christmas?” with the genuine answer of nothing, I have enough. I’m at an age in my life that I’m looking to eliminate the clutter and focus on what’s important right now to me. I’d rather spend time with my kids even if we’re just sitting together watching TV or reading a book.
But…no one came here to read about my-world-specific tensions. We all have our own to concern ourselves with.
Here are five suggestions that you might try to settle your mind, and if you have your own that work for you, please share them below in comments. Mental health is something that affects all of us, and we are in this together. For each other, with one another. A community if you will.
Take a breath. Stop and take a breather. Sometimes that’s all you need.
Journal. Stop and write down what’s affecting you. Sometimes getting out the frustrations in a positive way can get rid of the holiday blues for that moment.
Can you go to your happy place for 15 minutes. A nearby park bench. A coffee shop. Window shop.
Lists. You know I swear by lists. They organize but they also show me the big picture and they let me prioritize so I’m not in a constant state of forgetting something.
Reward yourself. When you finish [this hard task], give yourself a reward: an episode of a favorite television show, read a book chapter, play a word game online or on paper, grab a cup of coffee or tea. Listen to the radio for 15 minutes.
The holidays should bring joy or should at least not make things worse. Remember to take care of yourself. It can be for as little as five minutes to reset your mood and get back on track.
And there’s nothing wrong with a midday nap. Try it out.
Happy Advent and everything that follows.
Advent Wreath. (c)2023
*We did manage to get our tree up with one child setting it up, and one putting on the lights. We’ll put the ornaments on tomorrow when we’re all together.*
Yesterday, we lost a pioneer and advocate in the mental health awareness field. Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in beginning the fight against mental illness stigma as well as growing the awareness of mental health issues. She openly talked about her depression and spoke out when it would not have been in her best political interest to do so. She, like her husband, President Jimmy Carter always did things in a way that worked within their consciences through their compassion, empathy, and faith to make the world a better place, one project at a time. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity, the Carter Center, peace initiatives, teaching Sunday school, they worked as a team, full partners, supporting each other in both their shared and differing priorities. She was a good and faithful servant and may she receive her reward and rest in peace.
With Thanksgiving coming up this week, many of us are spending the day (or even the weekend) with family we may not see often, and it can be a wonderful day, but it can also be stressful and draining and you want to maintain the strides you’ve already made in your mental health journey. With the death of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, I am reminded that our mental health journey is ongoing, and we can and should refer back to our advocates and mentors as well as those we may not know, but those who have influenced our journeys as Mrs. Carter has done for me, especially with her independence and her openness on her own mental health struggles and journey.
I have five tools that I want to share with you to add to your mental health toolbox, especially for this holiday season.
Whether you’re at your own home or someone else’s, find a safe space where you can go to take a moment to yourself to catch your breath, regroup, and motivate yourself to go back to the social group. If you’re a praying person, this might be a good time to have a prayer or mantra ready to steady your way for the next go round.
Have a plan for your drink choice. Even for those of us who do not have alcohol problems, it’s easier to know what you want to drink. It’s one less thing to think about or umm about. Personally, I’m a fan of Diet Coke and/or ice water. My hot drink is tea. It is also more common to bring your own water bottle to places. Know that it’s also okay to say no, thank you.
It’s okay to sneak off to the bathroom and watch a video on your phone that will settle your anxiety.
Speaking of your phone, it’s also okay to check in with that one person who knows what to say to create a comfortable space for you within the holiday-social responsibility bubble.
Wear something you love. I find that when I’m dressed in my comfort clothes, I feel better about myself, and I project myself better. Part of my own comfort clothes are my mother’s ring, a colorful scarf, a long, cozy sweater, a pin (which can also be a conversation starter if that’s what you want it to be), or my rainbow shoelaces.
Know that the holiday is just one day. You’ll talk, you’ll laugh, you’ll have moments of discomfort, you’ll eat dinner, and it will be over before you know it.
Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, and may the warm feelings carry you through the rest of the year.
Today is the first Monday in October, and that means that Suicide Prevention Awareness month has come to its conclusion. Now that you won’t be inundated with reminders every few tweets or threads to check on your friends, to drink your water, to breathe, it may seem as though you’ve been abandoned at the seashore with friends and neighbors waving you off.
This is not what it is, though.
Without the constant social media buzz, it is still important to remain aware of your mental health. Continue seeing your mental health professionals. Notice if the things you like to do become less fun or you dread starting projects. If you journal, continue writing. If you doodle, continue drawing. If you pray and/or meditate, keep up that practice.
Randomly mark a day on your calendar to see how you’re doing; is your coping toolbox ready for your needs?
Take a mental health inventory on yourself once a week or more if it helps you feel centered.
Check yourself, and check your friends.
The awareness month may have ended, but the awareness doesn’t.
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 