Or not.
I didn’t bring my sweater.
I don’t need my sweater, but a covering is part of my security. I can put it on to hide and take it off to be open. No one knows this; it’s just for me.
What’s important to you is important to you.
It’s okay to have stuff just for you.
And it’s okay to be not okay.
Have the best day you can today.
When I wake up, I have a morning ritual that I do. Obviously, this changes if I have an appointment or a schedule I need to keep, but I usually try to slowly wake up and follow my routine. This consists of taking my morning meds, and then getting on my kindle: games, email, threads, banking, and then I begin my day with breakfast, shower, getting dressed, and lately sitting right down at the computer to get my writing in. I like routines.
The first of the games I go to is The Washington Post’s Quotes. They give you a quote, and you have three chances to guess who the speaker is or what they’re speaking about. It scores between one and five points depending on when you guess, but of course, in the grand scheme of things the points don’t matter. Still, I enjoy getting a five on most days. On Fridays, they give you ten questions so that takes a bit longer.
I woke up yesterday and went to the link, but paused, thinking that I did not have time to do ten questions before I needed to start my day, and so I skipped ahead to Wordle, and planned to get back to the quotes later in the afternoon. It took a few minutes, but in the middle of the puzzle, I realized that it wasn’t Friday, but Tuesday.
It’s only Tuesday?!
How long was Monday?!
How could it not be Friday? Monday was like ten days long!
Monday has been ten days long for about six weeks now. Mondays have been so productive and busy that it feels like a week has gone by when I wake up on Tuesday.
I saw a friend last night, and mentioned this to her, and she agreed and said she has the same phenomenon happen to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one living in a prolonged Monday.
FYI today is Wednesday.
I have a list of writing that needs to be done this week or early next week. We all have that pile of stuff that needs our attention. And I just realized that I need to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow and arrange which family member will be cooking with the least amount of pushback. These are normal things for everyone on the planet, but for some of us the anxiety can paralyze us, not always with the fear of not being able to get the items done, but with the fear of beginning. If we don’t begin, we can’t flop. If we don’t begin, we can pretend to do something more enjoyable. However, if we don’t begin, we can never get it finished.
I stepped out of my house today in exchange for the coffee shop, and got half a submission done.
I checked my planner and began to write this.
I checked my deadline calendar and decided that the next item on the list can wait until tomorrow…but should it? Well, there is one item that should take precedence, so I’m going to accept that choice and take a break for lunch and then proceed with my projects.
I said last Monday that lists are key, and I genuinely believe that.
Don’t forget to drink water, rest in between assignments, take a walk in the spring air and smell the lilacs which have just begun to bloom.
Many of us have been in Christmas mode since mid-December. And that’s not to leave out any non-Christians and their holidays. Our work week revolves around the Christmas holiday, and while we celebrate Chanukah and a couple of birthdays, we all share the same days off during the holidays. Some have even had one to two weeks off from work, and those two weeks have probably not been relaxing. Family and holiday responsibilities can take it out of us. Even though I work from home, with the kids returning to school and work, and one more Christmas dinner with our family, it is important to be aware of how we’re feeling, now we’re coping, and how we’re getting through the days in reorienting to the sometimes less exciting days that follow the holidays.
Five quick tips to re-enter the world after the holidays.
Happy New Year!
I know technically it’s Friday, but hasn’t every day this week been a Monday?
Holiday time is a struggle without the added anxiety of an anxiety disorder. Or any other mental health issue for that matter. For our family, our annual struggle to get things done has been compounded by my bout of covid which I promptly shared with my husband. Thankfully, my quarantine is over and his should end this weekend, just in time for our oldest to come for dinner. It’s a never-ending dance of “what’s for dinner?”, “when is the tree going up?*”, “we missed the last two nights of Chanukah; now what?”, and of course, the ever perennial, “who’s missing Christmas presents?”, and towards me “what to do you want for Christmas?” with the genuine answer of nothing, I have enough. I’m at an age in my life that I’m looking to eliminate the clutter and focus on what’s important right now to me. I’d rather spend time with my kids even if we’re just sitting together watching TV or reading a book.
But…no one came here to read about my-world-specific tensions. We all have our own to concern ourselves with.
Here are five suggestions that you might try to settle your mind, and if you have your own that work for you, please share them below in comments. Mental health is something that affects all of us, and we are in this together. For each other, with one another. A community if you will.
The holidays should bring joy or should at least not make things worse. Remember to take care of yourself. It can be for as little as five minutes to reset your mood and get back on track.
And there’s nothing wrong with a midday nap. Try it out.
Happy Advent and everything that follows.
*We did manage to get our tree up with one child setting it up, and one putting on the lights. We’ll put the ornaments on tomorrow when we’re all together.*
I will still try to post one of two items before the end of the year, and if you don’t follow my Instagram, you might want to subscribe for a few, quick picture posts. Unfortunately, I am not able to accomplish all that I set out to do in these last two weeks as I have unexpectedly contracted covid. It is mild enough to pass itself off as a cold, but believe me, it wallops you in the end. Test yourself. I was very lucky that my husband insisted that I take the test before going about my meetings, which I deemed too important to miss. However, with the positive coming up, I did miss them and fortunately miss my colleagues and aquaintances with the virus, so that is a good thing.
In our house, we were unable to light our eighth night of candles on the menorah, so when I’m able to rejoin the family tomorrow, we are going to light them then. It may be beyond the eighth night, but light in the dark is always welcome, especially in these days of war and strife.
Yesterday, we lost a pioneer and advocate in the mental health awareness field. Rosalynn Carter was instrumental in beginning the fight against mental illness stigma as well as growing the awareness of mental health issues. She openly talked about her depression and spoke out when it would not have been in her best political interest to do so. She, like her husband, President Jimmy Carter always did things in a way that worked within their consciences through their compassion, empathy, and faith to make the world a better place, one project at a time. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity, the Carter Center, peace initiatives, teaching Sunday school, they worked as a team, full partners, supporting each other in both their shared and differing priorities. She was a good and faithful servant and may she receive her reward and rest in peace.
With Thanksgiving coming up this week, many of us are spending the day (or even the weekend) with family we may not see often, and it can be a wonderful day, but it can also be stressful and draining and you want to maintain the strides you’ve already made in your mental health journey. With the death of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, I am reminded that our mental health journey is ongoing, and we can and should refer back to our advocates and mentors as well as those we may not know, but those who have influenced our journeys as Mrs. Carter has done for me, especially with her independence and her openness on her own mental health struggles and journey.
I have five tools that I want to share with you to add to your mental health toolbox, especially for this holiday season.
Know that the holiday is just one day. You’ll talk, you’ll laugh, you’ll have moments of discomfort, you’ll eat dinner, and it will be over before you know it.
Have a beautiful Thanksgiving, and may the warm feelings carry you through the rest of the year.
Today is the first Monday in October, and that means that Suicide Prevention Awareness month has come to its conclusion. Now that you won’t be inundated with reminders every few tweets or threads to check on your friends, to drink your water, to breathe, it may seem as though you’ve been abandoned at the seashore with friends and neighbors waving you off.
This is not what it is, though.
Without the constant social media buzz, it is still important to remain aware of your mental health. Continue seeing your mental health professionals. Notice if the things you like to do become less fun or you dread starting projects. If you journal, continue writing. If you doodle, continue drawing. If you pray and/or meditate, keep up that practice.
Randomly mark a day on your calendar to see how you’re doing; is your coping toolbox ready for your needs?
Take a mental health inventory on yourself once a week or more if it helps you feel centered.
Check yourself, and check your friends.
The awareness month may have ended, but the awareness doesn’t.
You are not alone.
We are all in this together.
Today is the observance of Yom Kippur. It is the Jewish day of atonement, a time to think back on the bad we’ve done and ask forgiveness, and to look forward on how we can be better stewards of ourselves and our time.
When I was a child, we were not allowed into the temple. I don’t know if that was because the tickets were too costly or if we children made too much noise and fidgeted too much. I have strong and fond memories of playing in the parking lot (which was devoid of cars) and playing with other children. We were dressed relatively nicely, but still playing outside until one of our parents came out to the door at the back, and from the top of the stairs shushed us. If I were being honest, this happened more than the one time.
Growing up, I had difficulty on this day. As a teenager, I would sleep until one in the afternoon, hoping to shorten the fasting we were required to do. I was annoyed that I couldn’t participate in my favorite pastime – writing – because writing was work. (Not to me, but my parents would not hear of it.) We didn’t have computers then, so that wasn’t an issue for me.
As I grew up, I never had a temple near me to attend services (except once) and so I spent my Yom Kippur fasting, reading one or two books, and speaking to G-d.
After I had my kids, I would take them on walks, read to them, and watch PBS.
On these Yom Kippurs that fall during my Catholic years I find myself seeking quiet. Reading. Praying. Fasting. (I try to only take my medicine with a little bit of water.) Thinking back on the last year and looking forward.
For those of you who are not Jewish, who do not observe the fast, this is a reminder that we all need that quietude; that time to take for ourselves where we’re not making shopping or to-do lists, where our brains are not turning over a mile a minute. Take the day if you are able, or an hour, or even a block of fifteen to twenty minutes, and just be. It can be contemplation, meditation, prayer, or just simply resting your mind. That time is your refuge, and it is needed just as much as water is for life.
I’ve mentioned before my writing planner – the calendar where I schedule topics to write about. Some just happen, and others reflect items on the calendar. For instance, I’m working on something for All Saints Day as well as my two writing classes (with prompts), although I’m not sure that those will be going off this year. We’ll know soon enough.
Friday was the birthday of children’s writer and illustrator, Tomie dePaola and I had planned a reflection on his work as well as a personal connection.
Friday was also the first night of Rosh Hashanah.
As I was getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, Tomie dePaola was still on my radar. After each mundane task, I would think to myself (or even say aloud) that I needed to write and post the Tomie dePaola piece. I shouldn’t say “need;” I wanted to.
I took my son to work, I got groceries, I picked my daughter up from school, I started dinner, I picked my son up from work, I continued with dinner: roast chicken with sweet potatoes if anyone was wondering.
And as it drifted towards sundown, I knew that I was going to miss Tomie dePaola’s birthday.
I just couldn’t make the time stop. Dinner was nearly ready, my oldest was coming over for dinner, and I still had to clean off the table and vase the flowers.
I could have gotten frustrated.
I could have gotten angry (at a whole host of things).
I could have assigned more tasks to my family, who had also worked all day, stepped aside, and wrote what I wanted to, shared the photos that I wanted to, and it would have been done.
However, it wouldn’t have been done right.
It wouldn’t have been done with the reverence that Mr. dePaola deserves.
I let the time pass, and I decided to be okay with that.
I spent the holiday with my family, reading, sitting prayerfully with G-d, and knew that tomorrow is another day, and I can celebrate Tomie dePaola tomorrow.
Which is my plan.
Stay tuned.
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 