Rob Reiner (1947-2025) and Michele Singer Reiner (1957-2025)

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As someone who spends an inordinate amount of time online, it still surprises me when the people around me don’t know the pressing news of the day. I had to tell my boss this morning about the devastating loss of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele. I mentioned being in a “Rob Reiner fog,” and she didn’t get what I was saying; she hadn’t heard. Part of me wishes I hadn’t heard.

I also don’t want to diminish Michele’s life by attaching her by marriage, but I didn’t know her, and I’m sure part of that was intentional on their family’s part – keeping their private life private, or at least as private as possible.

When my sister texted me last night with the initial reports of two bodies found in the Reiner home, I hoped, beyond reason that it was someone else; not that that would be a good thing either.

I was realizing this morning that (as a fan) I have known Rob Reiner for my entire life. I used to watch All in the Family with my father growing up. There was never a moment in pop culture that he wasn’t present for me. Even the movies I didn’t see had a cultural impact on me – like Stand by Me and Misery. The ones I have seen, like The Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally are iconic cultural classics.

But Rob was more than his acting and directing.

During the pandemic, he participated in the lockdown version of The Princess Bride, and his scene with his dad, Carl Reiner and Rob playing the Fred Savage part was emotional and heartwarming and perfect, and it gave us in lockdown a bright spot to hold onto.

His activism can’t be ignored. He was on the top of the important issues, and didn’t concern himself with his personal consequences. From civil rights to women’s rights to LGBT+ rights, he spoke out for all of us, and remained on the right side of history. His standing up in these times gave us an example to follow with heartfelt examples of how to fight the fascism we still find ourselves in.

Whatever led to this tragedy is irrelevant to his fans mourning him and Michele. We should remember how they lived, how they worked, how they spoke out for injustice, and give the family room to breathe and grieve for however long it takes.

May their memories be a blessing.

And may we take as a blessing their example of how to live and be a part of the world, caring for and taking care of each other.

Rest Now, Good and Faithful Servant

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Yesterday we learned of the death of President Jimmy Carter after nearly two years in hospice care and after the death of his beloved wife, Rosalynn a little more than a year ago in November of 2023.

I remember bits of his presidency and his family, especially his brother, Billy and youngest child, Amy, who was a year younger than me. I remember his deep southern accent and his wide smile, but mostly I remember that after he left the Presidency did his public service really begin. I can’t begin to relate his accomplishments – there are others better suited to telling those stories, but I do want to acknowledge his passion for the American people and their experiment as well as his compassion and faith that I admired and hope to emulate, although I know I’ll never come close.

To read about his legacy, visit his Presidential Library and Museum in Atlanta, Georgia, online here and the Carter Center, next door to the Library and Museum.

For funeral arrangements and the schedule for his lying in state in Washington, D.C. and Atlanta, Georgia, visit:

USA Today has a fairly comprehensive discussion of what is planned both in Washington and Georgia at this link.

This short clip on C-SPAN has President Carter talking about some of the funeral arrangements for when “his participation at the Carter Center is reduced.”

The Carter Center and The White House will have more information as it becomes available.

The state funeral for former President Jimmy Carter will be Thursday, January 9.
All federal offices and some state offices will be closed in commemoration and as part of the
National Day of Mourning.
All flags will be flown at half-staff for 30 days, beginning on December 29, 2024 at all public buildings and grounds as well as military posts, and half-mast on all naval vessels.


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Native American Heritage Month (3)

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Many people question why we need to focus on the diversity of our nation and celebrate heritage days and months; why can’t we simply celebrate our sameness as Americans.Also questioned is why we look back on the way we treated the indigenous peoples who were already here at our country’s very beginnings.

People want to forget the bad parts of our history.

The racist parts. The genocide. The meanness and the bigotry.

We can’t let those memories fade. They are a part of our history, and as we saw earlier in the year in British Columbia, Canada, it is part of the collective history of this continent.

While we were on vacation in August, we couldn’t help but notice the signs, the memorials for the two hundred fifteen First Nations children found in unmarked graves in Kamloops, British Columbia.

The articles read and linked below, as well as others were difficult enough to accept and they are still being processed emotionally by Native and non-Native peoples alike. However, happening upon one such memorial in Kanawake, the Mohawk tribal lands in southern Quebec tugged at emotions I was unaware of. The sight of the small shoes, representing the dead and unremembered 215 children, some as young as 3 was a lot to take in. It left me with a profound sadness, but also an emptiness that even the sadness couldn’t fill.

I leave you with links to read and photos to meditate on.

Horrible History: Mass Grave of Indigenous Children Reported in Canada

Canada Mourns as Remains of 215 chiildren found at indigenous school

A Burial Site for Indigenous Children was Found in Canada. Could it happen in the United States?

The emtpy shoes representing the 215 Indigenous children found in Kamloops. My presumption is that the ashes are from a First Nations religious ceremony in memory of the children. (c)2021
The above shoes can be seen at the St. Francis Xavier Mission in Kanawake, Quebec. This is also the site of the St. Kateri Tekakwitha Shrine where her body was brought. She is the first Native American Catholic saint. (c)2021
Signs we saw at various places across Quebec and Ontario, Canada. (c)2021

George Herbert Walker Bush (1924 – 2018)

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​Not sure if this is going to be longer later, but – I’m sad that George Bush 41 passed away. I’ve been listening to both the hagiographies and the realistic assessments of his presidency and public service career. Whatever else he was, he was a kind and decent person who cared about and loved his family and his country deeply. He had faith and beliefs that he kept in his heart throughout his life. He had a good sense of humor, and he made it okay for us to not like broccoli.

He signed the Americans with Disabillities Act and when he was asked to intervene in pushing back the Iraqi regime out from their invasion of Kuwait, he acted. He forrmed a multi-national coalition including Middle Eastern/Muslim countries, and when their objective was done (Hussein going back to Baghdad), he didn’t push an imperialistic doctrine.

He saw, and contributed, to the peaceful end of the Cold War after the 1989 fall of the Berlin Wall, including the reunification of Germany, which is likely one reason that Chancellor Merkel came to pay her respects.

I didn’t vote for him, but I worked for him…kind of. I was a civilian in the Navy’s child development program. In addition to our regular group of military children under five, we were also joined by a couple of displaced kids when their parents were called up and their reserve units were activated during the Gulf War. Oddly, I was less politically active and vocal during Bush’s Presidency than just prior when I was in college and studying political science.

When he pledged not to raise taxes, then got into office, and saw the reality of the economy, he took a leap (and it probably cost him a second term), and for the good of the country, he raised taxes. For the good of the country.

He also closed military bases, which included my being laid off.

At 17, after Pearl Harbor, he enlisted, volunteering for the Navy and was the youngest aviator. He was shot down over the Pacific. He then went to college, and over the span of decades was Congressman, ambasasador, director of the CIA, Vice President and President of the United States. A lifetime of service. A good man.

He should be admired.

This eulogized more than I had originally intended.

The point I wanted to make is that if you’re waiting for someone who is unproblematic in order to eulogize them and offer condolences and respects upon their death after a lifetime of service, you may as well stop now. There is no such person. There will never be any such person. Even Saint Mother Theresa didn’t always believe in G-d, and she’s a saint. The point being that take a forward glance towards the future of state funerals and name the one, unproblematic one that we’re allowed to feel bad for, to admire, to want to emulate aspects of. They are all problematic to someone.

That doesn’t dismiss the valid feelings they invoke, but it may need some additional perspective. 

George HW Bush was a decent man, with morals and he attempted to be better, not better than anyone or any of us or anyone around him, but just better.

And in this world of Wisconsin Republicans overthrowing the duly elected incoming state government (is this the tyranny the NRA has warned us about? But that’s another discussion, isn’t it?), we could all use a little bit more decent.

EXCELSIOR

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Stan Lee (1922-2018)
It was announced today that Stan Lee, Marvel Legend, co-creator of Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, the X-Men, and several of The Avengers, including Thor, Iron Man, the Hulk, and Falcon as well as Black Panther and Doctor Strange, passed away today at the age of 95, just about eighteen months after his beloved wife, Joan, passed away.

In 2010, he started the non-profit Stan Lee Foundation, which seeks to provide literacy, education, and the arts throughout the United States.

This past weekend, our family was watching Teen Titans Go to the Movies, and we were surprised and delighted to see a cameo from Stan Lee despite this being a DC production. Stan Lee worked at times in his long career for both DC and Marvel, but his long relationship with Marvel is primarily what fans recall. He was also a veteran of World War II, serving in the Signal Corps and the Army Training Film Division. He was inducted into the Signal Corps Association last year (2017). 

We always looked forward to his cameos in the recent Marvel films, and can’t wait to see the next two that are already finished or in post-production.

Stan Lee, may his memory be a blessing.

46/52 – Transgender Day of Remembrance

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As of this writing, 25 trans people have been murdered this year, however that number may only be the US. This is something that needs to end. It’s not about whether or not you agree with someone’s truth, but the transphobia is killing trans people, especially women of color and youth.

We need to remember and continue moving forward to better lives for trans people, equality, and safety.

The first Day of Remembrance was held online in 1999 and has evolved into a day of action as well as a memorial. It occurs every year on November 20th, which is tomorrow.

Please visit the Trans Day of Remembrance site for up to date information and a memorial list of the 2017 deaths as well as Glaad.org/tdor

September 11th

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Every year I try to reflect and write something meaningful for today. I’m not sure that any of us who were witnesses to the events of 9/11 will be able to just let this day pass unnoticed.

While touring Northern Ireland, I was very much surprised to see a tree and plaque commemorating September 11th. I do understand that many faiths and nations lost people in those attacks. However, I was moved that this wasn’t a remembrance for their own citizens, but in mourning, memorial, and solidarity with us. It is directly across from the Northern Ireland War Memorial, and within the gates of Belfast City Hall.

The text on the plaque reads as follows: This tree was planted by Belfast City Council on 11th September 2002 to commemorate all those who so tragically lost their lives in the horrific events in New York, Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania on 11th September 2001 and to mark the special relationship which the City of Belfast enjoys with the United States of America. (c)2017

Those We Lost

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I was going to write a post about how much of my childhood I lost this past year. It seemed that every other day a new name was being memorialized on my television, on my Facebook, on my heart.

Our family lost my mother-in-law and a close family friend. My friend lost her father. Another friend lost his grandmother.

We will always continue to find inspiration somewhere, but that doesn’t make any of these losses, family or celebrity, any easier.

Death is a part of life, and with the turning of the calendar page, 2016 passes away, and 2017 is born.

We Lost a lot of Progressive Artists

Generation X Lost too many Touchstones

We Lost Carrie Fisher and so Many OthersRemembering Those We’ve Lost

Timeline of Celebrity Deaths – 2016

Memorial Video

My mother-in-law. (c)2016

Grandma with her grandkids (my kids) after the third one was born. (c)2006-2016