December – Holiday Season

Five days in, finally posting in our last month of 2018.

Finally getting rid of last month’s snow.

Darkness at 4:30; feels like midnight.

My whole clock is off.

Asleep at 5pm; wide awake at midnight.

And then again at 3am.

Taking medicine all at the wrong times.

It’s cold out, but the car is hot.

Wear a jacket? Or just cope between the heated house and the heated car?

Monday was my birthday. I like to pretend my birthday is in the spring. If the sun is out, and there’s no snow, it’s my spring, and I take myself out while the kids are in school and my husband is at work, and for a little while I’m me.

So, on Monday morning, I got up early and went to mass, and then I took myself out for breakfast (free entree – I love birthday freebies!) and a movie. Across the restaurant from me was a woman, a little younger than me who was also having a birthday. I knew this because she was wearing a crown that said “happy birthday”. She wasn’t shouting from the rooftops, she wasn’t laughing loudly, but once she put the crown on, she did seem regal. Poised. Special.

Part of me was like I would never – too much attention, too much shiny – but a part of me was also like why don’t I have a crown? I should have a crown.

Or was it a tiara? Whatever it was, I should have one.

49/52 – December

December used to be cold and miserable. Snow and wind, sleet and hail. And as the climate changed so did December. I never worked on my birthday. From college on, no classes, no work. One birthday I went on a job interview and for a drug test. I almost got into a head on collision. That should have been a sign.

I usually take the day to myself, have a Starbucks breakfast, go shopping, stop by into Target and get one or two Christmas ornaments, a Moose, a Mary, something for someone, maybe even write.

This year, it’s Sunday, so I’ll stay home with the family, quietly, although…

Supermoon?

Mercury in retrograde? Is that good or bad?

Chanukah, Christmas, and New Year’s approaching quickly; too quickly.

But it’s still early in December, still time to enjoy the quiet before the last minute rush, before school recesses, holiday parties, last minute wrapping.

The quiet of the house is a reminder that quiet can be found throughout December. Light a candle, read a book, say a prayer. Have a cup of tea. Every day is an opportunity to slow down and look past the noise and see what’s really important.

Day two of Advent calls. Editing Nano calls. The kids call.

But I think I’ll light a candle and drink this tea.

And…slow…down.