week 4/24

International Holocaust Remembrance Day

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Below are two videos from The View television show that feature my Hebrew School teacher. I was searching for him online, and discovered that he died in 2020. I thought about him all of the time. I loved my time learning with him and recall it fondly. His daughter who you will see in the second video was our music teacher. One word of warning: the second video cuts off. I haven’t been able to find a conclusion.

We must Never Forget what happened. Something important that Mr. Baran said in the video follows:

“Denial is also murder.”

Mikhl Baran, January 2020

My Jewish History, Part One

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A family piece that’s come down from my mother. A Rabbi, praying.
(c)2024

This is the first part of a three-part series. The impetus was something I read in Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, which I will reflect on in the last part. Part One delves into my childhood, growing up Jewish in what I consider a fairly religious household, although it was less religious than my grandparents’ households that my parents grew up in. Looking back, it is certainly more religious than I raised my own kids in, and that will be discussed in Part Two. Part Three, funny enough is the part I wrote first, but then kept expanding and writing and re-writing, and realized there was more backstory than I could fit into that section. I hope you enjoy reading about my past lives, and my reflections and reconciliations with who I am today and how I became that person, at least in this one aspect of my life.

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Organizing for Parents

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There are so many items out there for parents to choose from for organizing their nurseries, their cars, their travel, their diaper bags that I don’t know how we get through it with our bank accounts still intact. Some things that I found were new at the time of my first born in 1997 that are now more or less standard on the lists for new parents. For example, we decided to skip the infant car seat/carrier for a convertible car seat that would last throughout our baby’s toddlerhood. What we hadn’t anticipated was that our son would be born small: 3lbs. 11oz. He swam in the convertible car seat. He swam in the infant car seat that we eventually got. “Eventually” being on the way home from the hospital and stopping at a Toys R Us to get him a more appropriately sized (and safer) car seat.

I bought many parenting books. I can’t really recommend any of the new ones as I haven’t used any of them, but the two I found the most invaluable were What to Expect When You’re Expecting and What to Expect The First Year. The toddler one was great for looking up symptoms of things and checking on developmental progression, but any of these should be used in conjunction with your pediatrician who you trust.

For our first we also had a bassinet AND a crib. We set up an entire nursery for him that he never slept in. Partly that was due to his size and need to eat throughout the night. Ultimately, we used our Graco Pack N Play as a crib most of the time. Our other two slept in our room for nearly a year, using a crib or the Pack N Play. As they get older, toddler beds are nice, but unnecessary. We used mattresses on the floor when we had two toddlers simultaneously.

Space is also a consideration. We had three kids in a two-bedroom apartment. I didn’t think much of it. When I was young, my family was comprised of three kids in a two-bedroom apartment. It was tight, and we had a storage facility for seasonal items and things we just couldn’t fit in a garden apartment with no real storage space. The polite description was that it was cozy.

We had a toddler and an infant, so a double stroller (with a car seat) was a must-have.

Some other must-haves:

  1. Sectioned diaper bags as well as a fold-up changing pad that would also function as a holder for a couple of diapers and pack of wipes to “grab & go.” You don’t always need to drag the diaper bag into every place. I also like a diaper bag that has a section just for mom: wallet, keys, sunglasses, cell phone (at a minimum) and then you don’t need to carry a purse. You’re doing enough juggling. My favorite diaper bag was one that attached easily onto the stroller. Easy to get into and it converted into a shoulder or crossbody bag for carrying.
  2. Stroller for expeditions like the mall or playground. If for nothing else, the bottom basket is great for coats, hats, diaper bag or changing pouch. I always bought attachable cup holders for my and my baby’s drinks. Most strollers have these as part of the set-up now.
  3. Snacks. If your toddler is old enough to hold it, a small plastic container works. If you’ll be doling out the snacks onto a tray, a Ziploc bag works just as well. Both can be reused.
  4. Baby Wipes. Buy the biggest pack. It will never be too many.
  5. Bibs. But not the tiny, cutesy ones that match the outfit. They’re almost useless unless you have a very drooly baby. For eating, plastic (to wipe down easily) with a pocket to catch the food. Velcro, not tie or snap.
  6. Highchair is a judgment call. We didn’t have the space for a highchair, but we did buy a portable and adjustable highchair seat. This worked just as well as a full-size highchair and could be put away when not in use. It could also travel with us when we went to Grandma’s house, which was fairly often and to restaurants, which was less so.
  7. Baskets & Open bins for easy clean-up. Store them on the bottom of a bookshelf (although make sure that the bookshelf is secured to the wall or built in) or line up in front of a wall. Even toddlers can help put things away when it’s this simple.
  8. Unless you find that your baby is fussy, you do not need a baby wipe warmer. You do, however, need a diaper pail that will deodorize the contents.
  9. A small dish drain for baby’s bottles, pacifiers, teethers, so you’re not digging through all of last night’s dishes for what you need.
  10. Towel with a hood to wrap baby up after a bath. Dries them and keeps them warm before the jammies go on.

Comments are open for questions and suggestions.

Mourning

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I have come to realize that “pro-life” is a misnomer. The people who espouse it, who embrace it, who shout it from the rooftops, don’t actually know what it means. When I hear the phrase “pro-life” I’m supposed to think that the person shouting it believes in life. But they don’t believe in life when the life is gay, when the life is Black, when the life is an immigrant or someone who’s accented, when the life is poor or homeless or addicted to drugs. They don’t believe in life when they allow three people, three human beings, a mother and her two small children drown while watching, and actively stop help from getting to them. They don’t believe in life if they are killed by guns, which are more sacred to them than the life it takes. They claim to care about the life of people who aren’t people yet, still unborn, still getting their life from their host woman, but if that woman dies because she can’t receive a lifesaving abortion, well, that’s life. But it’s not pro-life.

They lie about the services at Planned Parenthood.

They lie about the activities inside “crisis pregnancy centers.”

They lie about women’s* bodies or they simply don’t understand how women’s bodies work, which should be the first clue that they shouldn’t be legislating on women’s bodies.

I’ve seen legislators who don’t understand the basics of puberty or menstruation or how babies are conceived, thinking that the only party is the woman who holds the responsibility for her actions and the future of three people.

They sound pathetic and stupid, and it’s embarrassing.

On this anniversary of the now reversed Roe v. Wade, I’m in mourning. I’m in mourning for what pro-life people did to Roe, the person: manipulating, gaslighting, and abandoning. I’m in mourning for my daughter. I’m in mourning for her friends. I mourn for the residents of Texas and Florida especially.

The only pro-life option is safe and legal abortions for anyone who needs one.

Why is there upset and indignation when the “pro-life” set is called pro-birth or forced birth, but what else are they if not that? No one comes to pray outside of social services or the WIC offices for the children once they are born. No one prays outside of counseling centers, real counseling centers for victims of sexual assault and incest. The only prayers are for doctor’s offices and clinics that offer full service reproductive health services. Why is that?

How can you be anti-abortion and pro-death penalty?

How can you be pro-war?

Things to think about because your hypocrisy is showing, and it has been for a very long time. With the Dobbs ruling, women are dying, women are being prosecuted and persecuted for having miscarriages, women are being denied life-saving care, women are left to die of sepsis, are left to infertility, and families are just left.

*When I say women, read: all child-bearing people.