kids

Emotional Roller Coasters

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This has been one of those crazy busy weeks. For the last three I’ve resorted to lists that included absolutely everything that I needed to remember, even consisting of using the bathroom, sleeping and eating breakfast. This is where my anxiety meets the normal end of year stress and they compete for which is going to make me the most miserable and forgetful.

Since Monday, we’ve had the last day of school, report cards, forgetting and then buying the teachers’ gifts not to mention the bus driver’s who should be nominated for sainthood. We’ve had a broken bicycle, my middle child’s DARE graduation and 5th grade moving up day, my oldest child’s high school graduation plus keeping track of all the parties he’s expecting to go to this weekend. We had my brother visit for about twenty-eight hours (to attend the aforementioned graduation) and my youngest child’s doctor’s appointment for her yearly physical. I had planned on sleeping late Friday since I forgot about the doctor, and then I was going to just veg out at home for the rest of the afternoon, ignoring everyone at home and on the internet.

However, the internet had other plans for me. Reverend Clementa Pinckney”s funeral with President Obama’s eulogy and rendition of Amazing Grace brought the emotion and grief of last week’s church shooting back into my mental sphere. That sense of loss undermined with the controversy of the confederate flag and the discussion of what constitutes racism if the shooting of nine Black worshippers in their church isn’t (according to some news outlets.)

Then, with the Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling that anyone and everyone in this country can marry whom so ever they choose, my Facebook and Tumblr exploded with the force of a thousand rainbows. As one comedian said, opening Facebook on Friday looked like a battle between the confederacy and a skittles factory. A more apt description I have thus far not seen.

While the kids were out meeting Minions at our local FYE store, I stayed home to catch up on my lying around and watched Lee Daniels’ The Butler on Netflix. I thought this would be an interesting escape from the emotional roller coaster this week has been and I’d see the inner workings of a White House staff member, i.e. the butler. I apparently did not read what this movie was actually about. It was excellent, and I would highly recommend it, but in telling The Butler’s story, it wound its way from 1926 Georgia sharecroppers to 2009 and the first Black President. It followed Forest Whitaker’s character through the civil rights movement, which brought out an emotional tear fest for me. It was painful to watch, especially the historical re-enactments of lunchroom counters and beatings and exploding buses, not to mention the fright I felt at seeing white-sheeted Klansmen that I remembered from my history classes.I was a sobbing mess by the end of it.

While I failed in looking for that escape, it was actually a nice way to be reminded of how far this country has come. With the marriage equality victory still taking center stage on my Facebook, this was a good reminder of what the civil rights movement was all about, and how we still have so far to go for so many.

However, the forefront of my emotions were still back at my family adventures, which started the inspiration for this reflection. It was exciting and scary, emotional and giddy as we proudly watched our two sons mark milestones in their young lives and move towards their next chapters. I wanted to be part of every moment, and I tried to relish in it. It’s not easy when so much is happening at the same time, and while I was trying to live in the moment, I was also trying to  record those moments.

And to be honest, my daughter was a good sport that 99% of this week’s activities had her taking a backseat to her brothers. Even her visit to the doctor wasn’t all that pleasant since she didn’t get a special mommy day like usual for those kinds of things because money was short this week. So no lunch out, but we’re making summer plans with the next paycheck.

What really surprised me this week was that amid my frantic-don’t-forget-anything, do-we-have-everything pseudo-shrieking was my oldest son, my almost high school graduate, my volunteer fireman and almost certified EMS worker doing everything I beckoned. Everything. From wearing a collared shirt under his graduation gown to leaving the park early so we could have lunch with his uncle before he got on his train for home to not needing to be asked even once to get out of bed on graduation morning. For twenty-four hours he was on time, ready, cooperative, and non-argumentative as we pushed and prodded, posed and hugged. He even let me kiss him a couple of times.

As much as I think my son slacks off, he passed all of his classes, he received the highest diploma his school offers; he earned some college credits and kept up on his fire department/EMS training. So, his room wasn’t clean. Ever. His bed wasn’t made. Ever. On occasion he got the dirty dishes out of his room, and he took showers, made dinner and helped with his brother and sister when he was asked; sometimes before he was asked.

When I told him he couldn’t come to his brother’s DARE graduation because it was parents only, he was incredulous. “Let them try and keep me out!” I was surprised at his determination to be part of something for his younger brother like that. He went from shrugs and ‘sures’ to caring and wanting to be part of it. I think I was most proud of that moment than even holding his diploma finally in my hands. The diploma was his hard work come to fruition, but the former – that was my hard work. That was my parenting, of showing my children what is important in this life: family.

As they get older, their needs and wants change and evolve, but they’re getting it. The one thing I had control over, I seem to have been successful at. I found out that I’m doing something right, so I can keep trying to do it with my two younger ones, and hope they turn out as strong and kind, caring and loving and thoughtful as their brother who led (and continues to lead) the way.

Getting Ready for Summer Recess

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This is the last full week the kids are in school for the year. I need to get the house ready for kids to be home 24/7.

Find the books, check out Pinterest, line up some movies, think about our summer food tasting and hide the snacks and cereal where they can’t be devoured on the first day of summer.

Those of you with kids, what are your plans for when school’s out?

For those of you without kids, is there anything that you do each summer that is only a summer thing?

Collections

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There’s the largest ball of twine and dryer lint, Coke bottles, and spectacles, but for most people collecting is a little more subdued. For each of us collectors we all have our origin stories, how we began collecting our treasures, our first whatever. We get all excited and starry eyed talking about our things and hope in our reverie that our audience’s eyes haven’t glazed over while they go over their shopping list in their heads.

For me, I’ve had several collections over the years for a multitude of reasons. When I did historical re-enactment, I collected all manner of books on the Middle Ages: art, children’s history, fiction. When I was a teacher, I collected children’s cooks. I’m always on the lookout for Jewish stories for children. After my first visit to Wales. I’ve collected both history books and travel ones. Books are big in our family. My husband and middle son collect comic books (and action figures). My daughter’s love is fashion – reading about it, wearing it, and designing it.

When I travel, I still collect pins and postcards and foreign money, especially coins, and ask friends to collect it for me since I travel so infrequently. I also collect griffins and pewter pieces.

My mother collected stamps. My brother has her collection, and she started getting my son some when he was a baby, like dinosaurs, comic strips, super heroes, etc. We still do that, but we’re more selective as they relate to our interests (Batman, Star Wars, and the like. I recently bought a sheet of Harvey Milk.) There is something for everyone.

I have a couple of church friends who collect Mary (the Blessed Mother) statues from their world travels.

In an informal poll on my Facebook, I was surprised by the diversity of people’s collections, some I’d heard of, but many I had not even considered. Demographically speaking, not including myself, respondents were ten female and two male, ages between 21 and 71. Orientation was evenly split for those that identify publicly and all but two were the same race. Most religious practices were unknown to me, but two are Jewish and five are practicing Christians with various degrees of devotion. All but one are college educated with four still in college. Jobs include administrative assistant, nurse/LPN, teacher, nanny, EMT, with two in the insurance industry.

Here is a rundown of the collections; maybe you’ll find one of your collections on this list:

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Recs for Children’s Book Week

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Children’s Book Week

Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators

Aliki

Anno

Charles G. Shaw

David Macaulay

Doreen Mulryan Marts

Ed Young

Eric Carle

Graeme Base\

Jan Brett

Janell Cannon

Margaret Hodges

Tomie de Paola

Trina Schart Hyman

Children’s Book Week

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I love Children’s Book Week, but I also feel as though it’s somewhat redundant, especially for schools and libraries. Don’t get me wrong – there is no such thing as too many books, but I also sometimes feel that there isn’t a need for a special week to introduce books to your children and encourage them to read. We do this without thinking from the time they’re born; before they’re born.

Think of all the reading your family already does with your children: street signs, storefronts, grocery and Christmas lists, comic books, magazines, and of course all the books that line our shelves.

The huge varieties of available children’s books today meet the needs of all kids including those who are kids at heart. I still recall my favorite children’s books from childhood – The Magic Tunnel by Caroline Emerson, Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys, Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder – timeless treasures that can be read again and again. They continue to reside on my bookshelves.

I truly believe that almost all books can be used in all grade levels. Picture books have moved well beyond simple stories and large illustrations. I would read higher end picture books to toddlers when I was teaching in the early childhood field, and I’d read picture books to elementary level kids. Everyone loves to be read to.

Here’s a sampling of what I mean. They can all be read with and without the words, and they can be used as supplements to other subjects. I would bring in A Medieval Feast by Aliki yearly on Halloween to explain how my medieval costume was similar to a princess, but I wasn’t a princess. I was sometimes surprised at how much young children will accept when talked to on their level, with respect and honesty. I used the same book with a sixth grade class as part of their unit on The Middle Ages. It Looked Like Spilt Milk by Charles Shaw is beautiful on its surface, and is a jumping off point to exploring our imaginations and simply lying out in the grass surveying the clouds above us.

Good places to start for selecting books are with the Caldecott Medal and Newberry Medal winners.

These are five of my favorites that are appropriate across all ages, but they don’t begin to scratch the surface of good books for children:

Stellaluna by Jannell Cannon

The Eleventh Hour: A Curious Mystery by Graeme Base

St. George and the Dragon by Margaret Hodges, illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman

The Mitten by Jan Brett

Castle by David Macaulay

At the start of this I said that I didn’t feel there was a need for Children’s Book Week, but you know what? Why shouldn’t there be a week to celebrate children’s books? Children’s books are wonderful and we should promote them everywhere, so I’ll admit it – I guess I was wrong. And it perfectly lined up falling right after Free Comic Book Day!

Enjoy the rest of this week, the 2015 Children’s Book Week!

Happy Birthday, Baby!

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It was eighteen years ago today that I became a parent; a mother. A first baby changes things. It changes everything. From one to two to three. A little early, a little small, but a perfect baby with all the pieces that babies are supposed to come with. Things did not go as the textbooks and classes promised but the one thing they did promise is that each birth is different even as it’s all the same, and it is. Twelve days in the hospital, a feeding tube, a phenomenal rash, jaundice, but once we went home, it was baby, baby, baby, all the time, baby.

He was small but grew quickly. He ate everything including onions and broccoli, Chinese and Indian food. He tried anything you gave him. He sat up, he crawled, he walked, he ran. He never wore shoes but he always wore socks. His favorite color had always been red, and he loved fire trucks. He dressed as a firefighter for Halloween at least three times. On days not Halloween, he still dressed like a firefighter; all the time.

He used my father’s desk, and when he graduates from high school he’ll get my father’s ring. Video games and iPods, Skype with friends, theatre and stage crew.

In Jewish culture which is how I (and he) grew up, the two letters that form the word Chai translates to life. L’chaim. Chai is also 18. So this is also his Chai birthday.

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Today he turns eighteen. We celebrated yesterday because today…. what’s he doing today? He’s about an hour or so away, doing trench training with the fire department. He starts college in five months to study fire and paramedicine service. He drives, a little too fast for my comfort and he’s planning a trip to see his friend away at college, also out of my comfort.

While he’s not a baby, he’s still my baby.

Is a Stay-Cation Right for You?

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After 9/11 there was a national phenomenon that was dubbed nesting. It wasn’t planned; it just happened. No one wanted to leave their homes; we, as a nation stopped going out to dinner; we cooked more, and specialty food markets began cropping up in the next year or so. We rented movies instead of going to the theatre. The Kindle market exploded and birthed an entire industry.

This, rising gas prices, and two economic downturns later have given us a new term for leisure in our modern world: stay-cation; the vacation that you spend at home.

Our first personal experience with a staycation happened for us in 2009. Our family unexpectedly had one when our car’s transmission stranded us on the highway three weeks before our planned summer getaway to Niagara Falls. We couldn’t afford to fix the transmission and go on vacation, and obviously, the car was our priority for our limited funds. With everything else going on in our lives, we really didn’t want to disappoint our kids who were looking forward to their first real vacation in their memory.

That first year we used the money we would have spent on gas and hotels and had a couple of nice family days locally, choosing to go to places we wouldn’t ordinarily go to because in our everyday budget, they were simply too costly. (In our case, a brewery restaurant in the capital and an Aqua Duck tour). As I said, it was a little more expensive than what we would normally do on a weekend, but for us this was more than a weekend; it was vacation. Sort of.

Over the years, as our income stagnated (or went down due to health insurance and health care costs increasing and the cost of raising three growing kids), we’ve continued to have our own version of staycations; of concentrated family time during mid-season school breaks and summer recess at those times when we weren’t visiting extended family or had other things scheduled.

I’ve found that as much as kids, and adults say they want free time, that they just want to sit around and rest and relax, they (and we) get bored very quickly. It becomes the same old, same old and that’s when the fighting starts. He took my…. She touched my…. He’s looking at me! My daughter in particular will find her way into the kitchen, snacking on everything from cheese sticks to corn flakes, both of which she typically scoffs at. It is sometimes a little frightening, reminding me that as far-fetched as a zombie apocalypse is, she will be ready to eat anything. Anything.

Or they spend all day wired up to the Disney channel or their tablets. While tablets have their good points, learning-type games and library e-books, the school’s website even, it is sometimes too much screen-time, even for me: a recovering TV-holic.

Everyone likes to have planned activities and obligations interspersed with relaxation, and the stay-cation is the perfect avenue for that. Unlike a vacation, there isn’t that pressure to get things done because we’re spending so much money on having fun and relaxing. Have fun! Now! It becomes stressful, not to mention kids’ behavioral issues that are perfectly normal at home will add on a significant strain when the wall next to you is shared by another family trying to get away from it all, or worse yet, a business traveler. The constant behaving your best is not relaxing; for anyone.

Being home has its benefits.

Some of our fun can be adapted in anyone’s neighborhood including:

Food Tastings– choose a few foods that the kids have never had or have been asking to try, and try them. We’ve tried donut peaches, pink grapefruit, anchovies, Ugli fruit, blood oranges, yellow tomatoes, prickly pears, plums, dates, mandarin oranges, avocado, homemade guacamole, and the list goes on and on.

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Let’s “Go” to the Movies – Lights out, DVD, popcorn, a packet of M&Ms. We recommend Despicable Me (both movies plus the Minion shorts), Guardians of the Galaxy, Brave, Cars, and Netflix is always a good investment especially during summer vacation.

Chuck E. Cheese – it’s free to get in, the arcade is for all ages, they offer discounts on tokens, always have coupons online and they make an excellent pizza if you’re in the mood to spend money on lunch.

Your local library almost always has special programs scheduled for Winter and Spring breaks. We’ve gone to readings for service animals, science experiments, cooking classes for kids, not to mention taking out books that interest your kids and just getting out of your own four walls. (Not to mention, during the summer months, their air conditioning is free.)

Last summer, we did a typography project at the dining room table using fabric, buttons, charms, glue and pushpins on a thin corkboard (four for $5 at Target).

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AAA is an excellent investment, if only for their roadside assistance, but they also provide maps and tour books free. Every year, I go back for the updated book of my state. They also offer discounts on admissions and retail shops. We live near the capital so there is always something to do, but we also live near the National Bottle Museum and the Museum of Firefighting, smaller venues that we might not see if we went on vacation.  Remember that your vacation destinations are someone else’s local attractions. Check out what tourists are coming to your area for, and you might discover something amazing in your own backyard.

Speaking of your own backyard, scavenger hunts and nature walks are a perfect way to get outside and enjoy the sunshine in any kind of weather, including snowy. Afterwards, you can bring in your bounty and glue collages or make table centerpieces by arranging nature in a clear bowl or vase.

When my kids were younger and we lived in an apartment, we put together a sand box for them to play in. It was inside a plastic bin, and much less expensive than Little Tykes or Fisher Price that you’d need a backyard to enjoy. It was also portable for trips to Grandma’s.

Baking bread, cookies and apples are also good ways to spend the day. Delicious, too.

Plan it out like you would for a traveling vacation. Put the effort in just like you did when you drove two hundred miles or visited the biggest ball of twine; or the Corn Palace.

Whatever your budget, whatever your interests, a stay-cation can be for anyone.