School’s Out. Almost.


DSCN8465 DSCN8738


The top picture is one that I took at my recent Diocesan enrichment. I love photos from different perspectives. I learned how during a workshop at the last writer’s conference I went to sponsored by the IWWG. It was given by author/photographer Carren Strock and she taught us about focusing our eyes, taking things from different angles, photos through things, etc. Personally, I love doors, and take several pictures of doors wherever I go.

The second photo was taken by my son. He recently visited the state capital and this was my favorite picture. He loved the architechture and the chandaliers and pillars, and I loved hearing him describing how he viewed it all and why he choose to take certain pictures from certain angles.

It’s kind of neat to see things that I do, but don’t talk about getting taken over by my kids. It’s that reminder that they are always hearing and learning whether we, as adults realize it or not. It’s good to remember.

Today is the big office clean up, and the beginning of my summer writing project of a vignette for each of the special things that I mentioned in my journal submission about my office. I will also finish my memoir homework for Tuesday’s class – the last until the Fall.

Monday, I’m going to the printing place and hope that they can get me a nice print of the cell phone photo of the tree sketch that is lost in the mail. I am also going to try to hunt down the photos from the Easter Vigil, so I can get some of those printed. I was going to do that yesterday, but things didn’t work out.

I will also attempt to phone two friends, possibly meet with one before the kids get out of school.

Monday also begins the last full week of school. Not horrified, but not ready for summer break.

I’m laying carrots down for the Fall. I can get there. Right? Right?

Saw Frozen last night. I really liked it although there were some parts that I thought less of. All in all a good movie and as I mentioned I had no idea of spoilers so it was kind of cool to see something that I had no idea at all of the storyline.

After seeing the gifset three times in the last two days, I want to see The Devil Wears Prada. I’m going to see if Redbox offers it (we don’t have Netflix anymore), and hopefully I can borrow it on Wednesday and watch it.

I’m trying to be more consistent. Any advice for that or any prompts, fiction or non-fiction, writing or photography, hit me up.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there: dads, stepdads, uncles, godfathers (*waves*), father figures. Have a beautiful weekend.

Derailed, not Destroyed


Today was the first day in more than a week that I had a normal breakfast and I am still enjoying my tea.

I will be adding people to my tags so they see things (as requested) so don’t think that because someone is tagged that it is some kind of passive aggressive message. It’s not. There’s a lot going on and sometimes I need friends to see things in a sea of dashboard posts. Especially after two very important posts were missed last week by someone I needed to hear from. I will still be cryptic, but cryptic doesn’t equal p-a. If you’re wondering, ask me. I’m the only one who knows why I did something, and that’s not even true all of the time. 😉

We had a really lovely time on Saturday with our family. My uncle turned 70 and it was more than a little wonderful to see him, my aunt and another uncle and of course all of the cousins that we haven’t seen in forever.

The house is quiet, so once this is posted, I’m going to work on tomorrow’s memoir homework before my daughter gets home and begins to badger me to use my computer.

For the most part, I’m in a good place right now. I can feel things poking me in the back of the neck, but if I take a deep breath, glance over at a picture of my friends, pray a little, I’m mostly okay. There is a small group of specific people I pray for at every daily Mass, and sometimes, I wonder if that’s more for me or for them. Of course, I want beautiful things for them, but it gives me such a warm feeling that it is good for me also – to think about those people, to know in my heart who they are and how wonderful they are and how much good they deserve and that I want for them, and sometimes, I even wonder where I’d be without them in my life.

In the church, this is Ordinary Time, but I think this is actually an extraordinary time for me to reflect on how far I’ve come, how far my loved ones have come, and how much I want to do in the next few months. The sick and the friend crisis (both of which are still happening) derailed my resolutions and goals for 2014, but part of the things I’ve learned in the last few years is derail doesn’t mean permanent damage. I don’t need to give up; I need to start again; to continue because life happens and sometimes, we just have to roll with the punches, pick ourselves up, and take that next step.

I love you guys, and I’m here.


My Week in Recap


Last Friday at this time, I had just crawled into bed and except for a brief trip to church stayed there until Tuesday.

Apparently, I had some kind of flu. Honestly, I was happy not to have the chest cold and congestion, but pleasant it was not.

In the meantime, each person in the house contracted some version of the sick, all with different symptoms. Luckily, my husband was well enough to take care of the kids and me.

Gave godparent contact info to my RCIA leader (M). I need to begin saints research, although I have ideas.

My first church friend died. The funeral was Wednesday. I’m sure I will write more about this as I gather my thoughts properly.

The viewing on Tuesday was more triggering than I would have expected.

Lecture on Blessed Pope John Paul II was very good but also triggering. I think they were talking about death and it set off bells for me that I’ve never been able to deal with. That on top of the viewing made for a bad night. I even had to pull the car over and cry. Too much emotion for one night.

The end of the week brought a worrisome phone call, a multi-friend crisis, the beginning of a money crisis, the postponement of my daughter’s birthday party and tomorrow brings a trip out of town that hopefully will be much better than the rest of this as we see many of our family.

I also got a wedding invitation today for a wedding that took place on the 2nd. I already knew the date and the bride & groom knew I couldn’t come but they sent this out on Dec. 30th; I’m truly surprised it took so long!

Pain Brings the Snow


Or is it snow that brings the pain?

I had the most severe back pain last night. I could barely move. In fact, I had to take two Tylenol just to get to sleep for a couple of hours.

I haven’t had pain like that since I was pregnant with my second child.

Actually, I don’t typically get back pain. Oh yes, the little spasms here and there from overdoing something or falling asleep in the chair at the wrong angle. I refuse to ascribe anything to “at my age” and even when I’m 80, that phrase will still be more appropriate for someone twenty years older than I am at that moment.

After all, I’ve been told that the reason I had hearing loss was age.

I was 23. (It wasn’t how long I’d been on the Earth; it was how long I was in front of the speakers at a Stray Cats concert in high school. My ears still ring.)

I’ve been really good about no soda for breakfast, however… No tea this morning. It won’t make me feel better. Tea is comfort, and soothing and quiet and calm. I have an appointment I can’t cancel and it’s snowing. I don’t need calm; I need courage.

Tomorrow it’s going to be so warm there’s a chance of flash flooding. Today it’s snowing. Light and fluffy, but I think that’s just to lull you into a false sense of security until the drifts swallow you up.

RCIA (Mary-Mother of G-d), possible phone call depending on schedules, editing, Sherlock: The Reichenbach Fall, plan visit to uncle, plan daughter’s bday party. $5 pizza for dinner.

Continue reading

Self-Reassurance. Maybe.


I’ve spent most of today off of the computer. Even if I’m writing, I’d still stop and check tumblr and Facebook.

Still cleaning up papers, making plans in my notebook. I even set up an accountability log – never doing this is always so discouraging when I want to check how I’ve been doing.

I’m still upbeat even though worried about friends. I know they’re doing well and they know how to find me if they need me (not p-a at all – more in line with reassuring myself that I’m valued and silence doesn’t mean rejection – now if I can only remember this when I’m not upbeat.)

I finished series 1 of Sherlock. Really enjoyed it. I’ll start series 2 tomorrow as a reward if I do the 2 writing assignments I’ve given myself.

Tonight is watching Green Lantern with the family and getting back to my book.

Sherlock and Stewardesses


I’m looking at yesterday’s 365 post and I’m postponing the dusting. This morning’s chores took longer than I thought they would. First, it’s freezing. Unbelievably freezing. I went to Mass, got the few pics printed at CVS for my journal, got some groceries and cupcakes to deliver to my daughter at school, then home for breakfast. How exciting, right?

Looking at my list, and I’m thinking it’s a good thing I put a to-do list in that post so I have a road map. I’m not feeling particularly motivated other than motivated to keep reading The Jet Sex.

But that is my reward once I get through my list.

Jar done. *high five*

Time to shut down the computer and work on my green notebook. (Yeah, sorry, this post seems to be a blow-by-blow and I’ll hit post at the end for #7).

So I feel asleep – um….intentionally took a nap.

Actually, I watched A Study in Pink – first time. I could feel myself grinning at Sherlock and John’s chemistry. I really liked it. At least, I’ll be able to catch up easy enough. Second episode tomorrow when the kids go to school.

I’ve organized the green notebook. There are ten sections: Notes, Content Calendar, Ongoing Business, (a section for an event I’m part of), Fandom, Depression – Mental Health, Spirituality – Faith &
Religion, House – Buying & Maintenance (the experience and pitfalls, not the daily journaling about my household crap), and Money, Matters (mostly my personal money issues).

My next big original post will be about my financial difficulties. I know our situation is not unique, and sometimes we can help each other (not just in a monetary way). We do have a Go Fund page, and for anyone who’s followed our specific problems, I will have an update and a link.

I will also post my first piece of writing from my Endure 4 Kindness back in November. I didn’t get any pledges (hopefully, this will improve for next year’s event), but I pledged myself a single donation for the day ($15). The donations benefit the Random Acts organization. I have mentioned them before and I will link them in a future post. They are very worthy of your time and your money. There is no amount too small. Every little bit helps.

Currently, we are making dinner and I’ll be typing up the quick short things that I wrote during Advent.

After that, I will take some time with my new journal and then more of Vicki Vantoch’s book. She has a wonderful writing style; I’m sure that I will be sharing more about this book as I read it. When I read her dissertation, it brought back my own memories of wanting to be a stewardess once I realized that I couldn’t be a pilot. I was an enormous fan of Amelia Earhart’s and flying was a new thing. I remember a trip I took with my Dad to Toronto. I can picture my little white jacket and a patent leather white purse with one of those change purse clasp things to close it. I’m pretty sure that the hat I’m picturing on my messy head is a projection of the times; I don’t believe I ever had a fancy travel hat.

Whenever I’m asked what I wanted to be growing up, I could never remember. My parents worked for the post office and that was something I used to think about as well as for the police department in some capacity or a private eye like Jim Rockford, but somewhere in my latent memories was being a stewardess and flying. Today I am more afraid to fly than not, but I wasn’t afraid as a child. I was enthralled by the glamour that followed that job around. I can picture a blue dress and a matching nurse’s style cap, a small, triangular purse. I had wings from that first trip, which are since lost and we had a blue tote bag with a shoulder strap that said Pan Am on the side. It had two large pockets and zippers and since then (and probably before) I have a fondness for all kinds of bags, wallets, purses, and travel things.

But I digress.

Claimed by the Corner Office


I immersed myself in Supernatural on Netflix while I did the one chore claimed by today – cleaning my office. I would call it success. I filed all the papers (except church papers and kids’ drawings). I have 2 magazines that need to be shelved. I forgot to put my 2014 jar back (but I will do that tomorrow after I drop off birthday cupcakes at school).

I’m very happy with my space.

Tomorrow I’m going to take everything off the mantle and dust and then replace and rearrange a bit. I may share some pictures.

I used my Amazon gift card today to buy Vicki Vantoch’s book, The Jet Sex and once this posts I will begin reading it. *excited*

Tomorrow is filing the slips of paper from the 2013 jar and properly setting it up for 2014. I will begin writing in my new journal. I will print 2 pictures of my closest friends&family to keep in it. I will set up my green notebook, which is catch-all for all my brain’s ideas. I will start deciding on my resolutions/goals for this year.

Lots of questions for next week’s RCIA class. Today I read the handout on the rite of election and now my stomach is in knots. Next week, I also have a memoir workshop. The prompt is basically do whatever you want. Sometimes that freedom is worse.

First official day after the holidays. I feel pretty good.


Continue reading