On Retreat – Welcome –

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The plans I had for posting this week kind of got away from me. Every day I stated something that I wanted to share, but then never got the keyboard out. Then there were family obligations and therapy and packing for my retreat, which I’m on right now.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a travel piece on what items tend to be forgotten. Well, here I am traveling and I’ve managed to forget things I actually needed: my eyeglass case for my glasses to sleep in, a laundry bag, a. nightlight, which this room really does need, and a hairbrush which the mirror in my room will attest to how much that was needed this morning.

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Top of the Mountain

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Sunday’s Gospel was Jesus on the mountain, well one of them. It’s the Transfiguration as witnessed by Peter, James, and John. They see it, and they’re not sure what they see. My priest called it a mountain top moment, in both the literal and the metaphorical sense. The Transfiguration is pivotal and bridges, through Jesus, the earthly life and the eternal life. Pope Saint John Paul II included the Transfiguration when he added the Luminous mysteries to the Rosary. At a recent day of reflection, Father P talked about those “born again moments” and that reminded me of Father J and his homily on Sunday about mountain top moments. We all have them in various parts of our lives and they all mean something different to each of us in those times.

In my mind during that homily, I was reminded  of a literal mountain top moment that I experienced. I was in college and had the opportunity to travel to the UK with my college roommate. She made all the plans and I followed her. I followed her to the point that I’ll follow you became a running catch phrase for the trip and the rest of our friendship including when I see her today nearly thirty years later. At some point she gave me the the itinerary with a few changes along the way, but I barely knew where we were going before we got there.

That level of trust and spontaneity sounds completely foreign to me, but at that time it was easier to just tag along. It was the trip of a lifetime and whatever happened, wherever we went would be amazing. I had no expectations and that let my mind stay open, probably for the first time in my life.

It was a wonderful trip: New Year’s in London, feeling the magic of Stonehenge, finding out that the buses don’t run on Sundays in Stow on the Wold, snow in the Highlands, but the most filled with wonder moment took place unexpectedly near the top of the Snowdon Mountain in North Wales.

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Day 1 of Lent – What to Give Up

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Ash Wednesday is here. It feels much earlier than usual, although I guess it feels that way every year. I’ve been contemplating what to give up this year, and it’s a real struggle. I feel sometimes that my choices are too easy, but while it shouldn’t be impossible, it should be a little difficult. I should be able to notice that something is missing and then give pause on why I chose to eliminate that from my life for the next forty days.

I thought bacon. But I don’t really eat that much bacon. Mostly on cheeseburgers when we go out to eat. We almost never buy bacon on its own for our house, although I have had cravings for BLTs in the past. Maybe we should give up eating out for Lent.

I thought Netflix. Well, at least the rerun parts of Netflix. The repeated binge watching of television series over and over and over again. The TV is constantly on in our house (less now but it’s still an issue; my habit). Netflix has taken the place of constant cable news that I gave up after the last election (2012). The problem with giving this up is that Supernatural reruns are my go-to white noise. I can do almost anything else while Supernatural is on, especially the early seasons. It’s a comfort thing. Supernatural was there when my depression returned and I needed another med adjustment. Supernatural kept me from being listless and lethargic.

There’s always the internet, Facebook and/or Kindle. I know several people who give up either the internet or Facebook for Lent. This doesn’t make sense for me since that is my family and primary school communication, I do most of my writing online in the clouds and on my kindle, so it’s much more than a crutch. For some of my family, this is the only place they get to see pictures of my kids, and I theirs. Used well, Facebook is a G-dsend.

Ice Cream? Uh, I don’t know.

Chocolate? Been there, done that.

Diet Coke? Ditto.

McDonald’s Breakfast Burritos? But I love them! I would eat them every day if I could.

Starbucks? That goes so close with my writing that I’m not sure that I could do without it for forty days. Maybe…

These are all things on my maybe list. I’ve given up some of them before. Some were harder than others; much harder.

On Monday morning, I began to read The Little Black Book. I’ve enjoyed these “Little” books seasonally, both in paper format and e-book. On Monday, it talked about fasting and abstinence (which is much different from the Yom Kippur fasting that I was used to.) One of the things mentioned was that “the church no longer attempts to prescribe Lenten practices in detail” and “choosing practices that are adapted to one’s own circumstances.” This implied to me that I was not expected to give something up if it didn’t fit with my other “penitential season” practices.

I’m not sure my priest would agree, and after the initial burst of wishful thinking, I went back to the list in my mind. It also felt a little like when I was a kid and didn’t want to stop writing on the High Holy Days because they weren’t really work. For me it wasn’t something to meditate on the meaning of; it was a cop-out. Again, that’s for my personal feelings and perspective. We all need to come to our own place this Lenten season.

Choosing an item isn’t just about the item itself; it’s about the introspection, the prayerful thoughts that go into the choosing, what makes this item important enough to make the giving up a sacrifice?

Not only that, but how is the giving up part of the larger idea of what Lent is all about – the penance and the getting ourselves ready for Christ’s sacrifice for us? Certainly, whatever we give up doesn’t compare to His sacrifice for us. It is but a small imitation, but it’s all we can offer.

So how do we continue to give.our Lenten experiences meaning year after year?

I could give up brussel sprouts. I don’t hate them, but we almost never eat them. Does that count?

The truth is, the only one who can tell me if it counts is me. Trying to get out of it doesn’t hurt anyone or change the meaning for anyone but me. Who am I observing Lent for in the first place?

The responsibility is on me because the benefit, whatever that might be spiritually is also on me.

I’ve decided to give up the breakfast burritos and ice cream. Tuesday morning was my last burrito until after Easter and Tuesday night was my last bowl of ice cream (black cherry chocolate chunk). Something from the morning and something from the night to remind me each day right after I wake up and right before I go to bed that these forty days are different.

How else will I make them different? And how will they change me for the rest of the year?

Time will tell.
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Candlemas

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If Candlemas Day be fair and bright,
Winter will have another fight;
But if Candlemas Day be clouds and rain,
Winter is gone, and will not come again.
~Old Rhyme

Around New Year’s when my husband wants to take down the tree, I say no, and try to put it off until Twelfth Night.

When Twelfth Night rolls around, and the following weekend arrives, he tries again, but I come up with but we didn’t put the tree up until late, let’s leave it another week.

And then why don’t we just leave it until Martin Luther King Day. Isn’t that what we always do? (We do, but I can’t remember why.)

This year, we got the tree down about a week ago.

Today, however is Candlemas. Or the feast of the presentation of the Lord. Or forty days after His birth when Mary, his mother goes to the temple now that she’s purified after giving birth to Jesus.

The nights are shorter, the days longer. Spring is just around the corner; if we can get through the next few weeks. The sun is bright if not warm. (I need my sunglasses more in the winter than in the summer in fact.)

With more natural light, we use less artificial light. We’re also brightened a bit more. Smiling a bit more. Less aggravated; more tolerant. Even that little bit helps, and it gets more and more as each day passes with its lengthening sunlit afternoons.

I’m thinking that we could have left the tree up another week and it would have been alright.

I’ll have to try that next year now that I’ve put Candlemas on my calendar again.

A Call to Claim Each Other

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Today marks the end of the the Week of Christian Unity. As called upon in Peter, “to proclaim the mighty works of the one who has called us out of darkness into his marvelous light,” we can join together under the ecumenical banner of Christian unity.

From that joining we can move to the other faiths we have common-ness with as well as those we have no commonality with.

Interfaith and acceptance isn’t changing one’s beliefs, but including everyone regardless of their religion or non-religion as I’ve expanded the thought, and whatever else separates us.. 

Recently I attended a gathering sponsored by the Interfaith Community in my local area. It was described as “moving  beyond  tolerance,  and  beyond  coexistence,  to  affirmation,  acceptance,  mutual  support  and cooperation  among  peoples  of  faith  …  literally  to  claim  each  other as sisters and  brothers  of  G-d.” While this was faith-based, that is no reason to think that non-faith people or faith groups not mentioned by name are excluded from this type of conversation.

The presenters included a Rev. B, Rabbi K, and Imam G. In addition to their religious titles and education, the rabbi and the imam are also professors at a local college and hold degrees in religious studies. In the audience were several people I had seen before at workshops and retreats including our Bishop Emeritus, who championed interfaith cooperation and acceptance (including with the Jewish faith when it was an unpopular position to hold) in his thirty-seven years as Bishop.

The next thing I should mention is that this gathering/lecture had not been planned in the two months prior to the date. It became apparent that this type of gathering and discussion was needed with the onslaught of anti-Muslim rhetoric that is becoming prevalent in our country today as well as the tremendous rise of anti-semitism across this country and globally.

This will serve as my thoughts interspersed with my summation of the gathering and a paraphrasing of what was said by many in attendance. The only statements that are verbatim will appear within quotation marks.

I’ll begin where the Reverend began:

Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for President. We chuckled and eye rolled, but we were stopped cold when we were reminded of another disenfranchised group courted in the same way as Palin/Trump that gave rise to someone we all remember – Hitler. Megalomaniac. Demagogue. This was not hyperbole; or ironic. This was very serious. This was something to think about.

An austere beginning, and then he (followed by the Rabbi) continued with this quotation:

“Silence is sometimes betrayal.” – Martin Luther King

We cannot sit idly by and hope that it gets better, or that someone else will stand up for what is right; to speak out for someone else.

“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out –
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out –
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out –
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.”
– Martin Niemoller

Martin Niemoller was a Lutheran Pastor who spent eight years in a Nazi concentration camp. Some of his statements prior to that can be problematic, but he never shirked from discussing them or the changes in his views formed by the turning point of having survived the concentration camps.

If we’re not standing together, we stand apart in fear. We’re all concerned for me, but “I want them to stand with me or I’ll be standing alone.” [Rabbi K]

We must remember that we are all individuals, and individuals are approachable. We can’t dismiss a whole group of people, and that includes the ones we don’t agree with; even Fox News.

We must acknowledge that everyone has a conscience; a heart; mind; they are individuals.

It can be challenging to be a person of faith. It can also be challenging to be an American. It is also challenging to be a person who doesn’t have religious faith in this increasingly divisive to those who are different.

With the Patriot Act, we decided it was okay to profile, to strip individuals of their rights. Whenever we’re reminded of Japanese internment camps or McCarthyism, we’re told that we’ve moved beyond that bias.

But have we?

We must remember that our social – political – economical interests are all intertwined. Our destinies are intertwined on a global level. The world is too small to be isolationists; or imperialists.

We need to look for an interfaith, grassroots, educational movement of inclusivity.

Looking at the middle East, it’s imperative to remember that context is paramount. The Middle East is a land bridge on the way to Europe. Without it being home to the three major religions in the world, it would still be a land in strife. The political division by Europeans didn’t help matters in much the same way that the partitioning of Africa has come to a similar head in recent years.

Since admittedly, most of us have less knowledge of Islam and Muslims, it might be important to hear some unbiased facts about the Muslim faith and the Koran.

The Koran is 1400 years old and as I mentioned context is paramount. It has its governing and foundational verses. There is an academic and literary process to analyze and interpret the Koran. There is a freedom to choose, a G-d given free will that contributes to the analysis of the Koran.

The first thing to know is that Muslims have an understanding of the people of the book – those people who are “receiving of the Word/Scriptures from G-d.” [Imam G] This includes all Jews and Christians. The Torah came first, then the Gospels, and then the Koran.

Any “bigoted dialogue of other faiths, such things are in completely contradictive with foundational verses in the Koran.” [Imam G]

Whoever believes in G-d – Jews, Christians, anyone, be happy in this life and in the next.

We’ve followed a mixed path, but we have a common G-d. We have shared foods. We believe in marriage and building families.

Warfare is “never based on religious difference.” It is a last resort “for the protection of human rights and justice.” [Imam G]

All three of the Abrahamic faiths believe in salvation, families and marriage, and the protection of our places of worship.

Looking at the Pillars of Islam, where is jihad mentioned? Does Islam equal jihad? It does not. It’s not even in the top ten of the pillars.

Education is where it begins to bring us together and refuse to let us be separated. We need to heed the call to claim others, to protect others because if we don’t eventually we’ll be someone else’s other.

Postscript: This morning as I was finishing up the editing, I came across this Washington Post article discussing how a college student of the Muslim faith continues amid anti-Muslim rhetoric and the pressure to “fit in” as an American from both inside and outside her family.

Choices

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I’m beginning my year by finishing some of my projects from the end of the last one. Right before Thanksgiving, I made my final list for the things that needed to get done  for the next three holidays and the end of the year: Gifts to buy, gifts to wrap, teachers’ gifts, mail carrier, hairdresser, my priest, baking, Thanksgiving dinner, Chanukah, latkes, Christmas dinner, Christmas Masses, school responsibilities, holiday cards, clean the house, grocery shopping, and oh yeah, I’ve got that retreat at the Dominican Center exactly between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Too many things to do. Something had to give. I needed this retreat. It was not only spiritual, it was a writing retreat. It was the very things I needed at this time of year, my everything, but did I really have the time for it?

Baking. I decided quite dramatically to skip baking this year. How would the holiday season go on without home baked goods for the teachers and Fr. J and F and the kids?

And then something happened.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care anymore, but…

I. Didn’t. Care. Anymore.

In a good way.

I tried it on for size a couple of times, and made sure that my family knew my intentions. I would not be baking. Except…except for Santa; no cookies, no breads, no nuts, and no caramel. And believe it or not, I was okay with it. I really was.

Not only was this writing retreat exactly what I needed and wanted and longed for, I got more out of it than I expected or could have hoped for.

The quiet inspiration of the poem that prompted us. The prayers. The new friend(s). The peace. There was not a moment all weekend that did not speak to me and reward me for making this choice.

Over the weekend, I was introduced to an inspirational speaker, Rob Bell. His videos are very inspirational and thought-provoking and thoughtful. So much to think about and meditate on. One of those videos was Shells. Please follow the link – it is well worth your ten minutes.

Spoilers to follow: Listening to him talk about the shells and his son’s frustration at not being able to grasp the starfish because his hands were full of shells – well, that moment was like a hammer to my head. My eyes welled up with tears with the pronouncement, no the admission to myself that you can’t do everything. Even if you want to do it or it’s the good thing that you’ve been waiting to do, you can’t do it all.

Choices must be made, and the realization that my no baking mantra of the previous two weeks was more than selfish, it was more than for me, it was important. The revelation that I had made the right choice, and that I could do it again was overwhelming and freeing.

Writing Retreat Weekend, Day 2

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Outside
I took a quick walk around the front of the retreat center. It was a beautiful day, and I should have walked more than I did, but my legs have been giving me a lot of trouble this weekend. I’m not sure why, so with Christmas in just about two weeks, I had better play it safe.

The sun was bright, the sky that perfect blue. I had intended to wander down to this cross that was carved out of the tree stump, but they’ve removed all of the benches. I’m assuming that is to get the grounds ready for winter.

However, that didn’t stop me from checking this out and another tree stump on my way back up to the picnic table. I sat out there reading for a bit, and was so enthralled with what I was reading that the retreat director had to come out and get me for lunch!

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We continued our writing with courage and hope. There are so many things that I’m feeling. Talking to my tablemates and hearing different things from the video (Rob Bell – I believe you can look him up on You Tube) and the musical selections like Star Child by David Haas.

I’m hoping this weekend gives me the push and the anchor that gets me through the rest of the year.

Writing Retreat Weekend, Day 1

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Day 1 is really one session in the evening. We arrive after we have our own dinners, get our name tags, meet the retreat director, and get our first prompt: tenderness.

I have finally accepted the free-writing, stream of consciousness form as my go-to for a first draft. I’ve only been doing it for about three years; it’s about time I got used to it.

I spent twenty minutes writing about my daughter and pajamas and shopping in Target. I will share another time how that adds up to tenderness.

All of our prompts will be based on what M has written on the white board:

What is Christmas?

It is tenderness for the past
courage for the present
hope for the future
and that every path may lead to peace.

-Agnes M. Pharo

The Scripture read  in regards to this prompt was of the Visitation when pregnant Mary visits her pregnant cousin Elizabeth. Remember that Elizabeth is the mother of John the Baptist.

We are in a Dominican Retreat House, so there is definitely a spiritual tone to everything we do this weekend. To be honest, spirituality and writing are the two things that can be brought to anything else; to everything else.

I’m going to retire early – the rising bell rings at 7:45 in the morning. I’ve also want to get back to the First Book of the Macabees, which I’ve been reading today (it is Chanukah after all), and I’d like to finish it. I’m also in the middle of an historical account of four women soldiers/spies during the Civil War as well.

I’m not relaxed per se, but I’m also not thinking about what I need to do between now and Christmas Eve. I think I’ve got it handled. And if I don’t my elves at home will be happy to help me. I have confidence in them.

Tomorrow brings French toast for breakfast, two writing sessions, a walk around the grounds and Mass. There is a cross with a bench for meditation that I’d like to sit by with my journal. I also have my sketchbook and my colored pencils, so I may foray into a little drawing.

I’m alone on this side of the building, but I’m muddling through the anxiety. It’s a lovely room. It reminds me of the hostel in Manchester, England that I stayed at without the underlying prison cell feel. This room actually feels much more comfortable. There’s a bed, a gold upholstered chair that rocks – it reminds me of my Aunt Goldie’s house. There is also a desk and adjacent to the closet is a sink with towels and a mirror. Plenty of light and a Bible round out the place.

I feel good about this retreat weekend.

Saints of Travel

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Even to those who are not religious it is common to pray for safe travel. Whether praying to a deity or the one true G-d or goddesses or anything in between, we all wish and hope for safe travels. We ask for good weather and no mechanical mishaps and no crying children or snoring neighbors leaning in our shoulders in each of our own ways. We beg the Almighty for an empty middle seat and no turbulence.

Here are a few of the Catholic patrons of traveling or travelers including my own patron, St. Elen.

I’ve read that St. Christopher is no longer a patron of travel. I know many thousands of people who would disagree so I’ve included him in this list.

St. Anthony of Padua
St. Christopher
St. Elen
St. Joseph, Husband of Mary
St. Nicholas

Please add your own travel companions in the comments.