I kind of failed Rosh Hashanah this year. I mean it’s still my responsibility to model for my kids and teach them how to observe. I feel as though I’m failing them in this area. I am also not ready to give up all of my traditions, and Yom Kippur is one of those thoughtful observances that gives you a mandatory stop and take inventory of where you are, where you’ve been, and we’re you’re going.
Yom Kippur is a little different today. For me, it’s less about what you can’t do, but what you can; what you do.
Fasting isn’t the absence of food; it is the presence of G-d as reminder of not only my failings of the past year, but also where I’ve succeeded.
Lighting candles for my parents. The reminder of where I’ve come from, how much I miss the every day, and it tells them that they are not forgotten. I’ve thought of including Brittany this year, but I will see how I feel when the time comes tonight.
Not working. No writing has always driven me crazy, but it has also afforded me the opportunity to slow down and think; to meditate. I am “forced” to something else.
My usual Yom Kippur activity is reading. Harry Potter was one of my Jewish holiday books and look at all my life has changed because of that beginning of that New Year. Overall, wonderful things from deep friendship to finding parts of me and knowing that are still parts missing; left to find.
This year’s book is Jesus: A Pilgrimage by James Martin. I know, an unusual choice for Yom Kippur. I’ve wanted to read it for some time. It was a gift from my godmother, and I look at the spine nearly every day and thinking I don’t have the time, I go back to my Kindle.
Yom Kippur will give me the time.
It is a whole day where I can read, pray, meditate, pray the rosary, light candles and no one questions the whys or the wherefores.
It is the one day out of the year where I don’t have to explain my actions.
It simply is.
Why are you….?
Because it’s Yom Kippur.
The simplicity of not apologizing for who I am or who I am becoming is part of my day’s meditation.
I do ask guidance and forgiveness for those I’ve wronged even with the best of intentions. Enlighten me how I can do better and I will do my best to try.
I will let my faith continue to guide me.
I will question what I don’t understand.
I will defend the wronged.
I will be the friend I’m supposed to be.
I will be the person I’m supposed to be.