2015

The Cock Crows

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In today’s Gospel, more than denying the Christ, Peter is abandoning a friend, his close friend. How long had he traveled with Jesus? How long has he witnessed for him? He left his livelihood and his family and his home for Him. Jesus asked him to build his church.

Today he deserted him, not once but three times. This is probably the hardest to read for me. How many times have I abandoned a friend because I was afraid of someone else’s response? It is so much more than being selfish or simply looking out for yourself. The amount of fright and sadness felt by Peter I’m sure was palpable. He wasn’t just afraid of what would happen to him from the crowd if he admitted to his friendship or to his discipleship, but also his reaction to Jesus seeing his betrayal and immediately forgiving him. The shame and relief were probably at war with each other.

The hardest part is not only asking for forgiveness but forgiving yourself.

First Scrutiny

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For catecumems coming into the church this Easter, today was their First Scrutiny. The Gospel for them to hear and discern is the woman at the well. I remember thinking on this nearly one year ago. It feels like forever ago. I’m looking forward to completing my first year in the church, and I’m thinking back and re-reading parts of my journey. My prayers are also with this year’s group.

Anniversary

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I saw the head of the RCIA program at mass tonight. She asked me if I thought about the upcoming anniversary of my baptism. I have been thinking of it. A lot. On one side I can’t believe a year has come and gone so quickly; it’s really flown by. On the other side it feels as though I’ve been Catholic forever. It’s an exciting feeling, though knowing how I feel about Jesus, and knowing that he is always with me.

Solitude

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Solitude appears in many places and are as different for each person as the people themselves. As much as the Lenten season is a group activity in that all Catholics do it at the same time, it is very much a solitary effort for each of us:

– what we give up for Lent, what we add, if and when we fast, abstaining from meat on Fridays, how and how often we do penance and ask for reconciliation, what we share for charity, how often we pray, and where our individual journeys take us.

Lent is forty days of solitude, of just us and G-d, our thoughts and prayers, our priorities and our choices on our crossroads as we meet them.

Solitude is the quiet inside no matter how much the outside noise is raging.

Solitude is the thought of doing better, being better, offering kindness where there is none or more where there is not enough.

Solitude is random, and comes in the shadows, in the light, and in the in-betweens.

Solitude is the thinking space, the quiet within the quiet.

Life and Living

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(It says: “Until life within the womb of a mother is safe, life outside the womb will never be safe.”)

(*Note: I saw this earlier today and I had an opinion on it to share. Not all of my reflections this Lent will be on my positive journeying through the forty days. I have many things that cross my mind in a day, and this was today’s.
Trigger warnings for abortion and choice.*)

I could not disagree with this more. In fact, I find it offensive that this is part of a so-called pro-life campaign.

In fact, I think the opposite is true: it is our obligation to care for those already born and through education and appropriate birth control, abortions will, and have been going steadier, lower.

The false equivalency of a fetus and a grown person having the same safety concerns tells me that the person who wrote this sign doesn’t understand the real issues that women in this country, pregnant or not, face on a daily basis.

Is abortion really less safe than being born without a spinal cord or a brain stem?

Is abortion really less safe than starving and dying in poverty?

Is abortion really less safe than living in a chronically abusive household?

Do we really care more for our unborn than our already born? Our persons of color? Our single parents? Our foster kids? Our child victims of rape who are forced to carry babies to term when their emotional states and their physical bodies are not ready for it?

Shouldn’t we begin with taking care of those outside the womb first? If we can’t get that right, how can we presume to know what’s the best options for inside someone else’s body?

We also know that a fetus could not survive on its own without its physical attachment to the mother, the host, unlike people who are already living, breathing, thinking human beings. It is not a symbiotic relationship; it is strictly one-sided. If you remove the baby from the situation, the mother will still be alive. The opposite is not true.

I would prefer less bumper sticker sanctimony and more real world options without the attack on pregnant women at every turn.