Month: February 2016

Day 1 of Lent – What to Give Up

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Ash Wednesday is here. It feels much earlier than usual, although I guess it feels that way every year. I’ve been contemplating what to give up this year, and it’s a real struggle. I feel sometimes that my choices are too easy, but while it shouldn’t be impossible, it should be a little difficult. I should be able to notice that something is missing and then give pause on why I chose to eliminate that from my life for the next forty days.

I thought bacon. But I don’t really eat that much bacon. Mostly on cheeseburgers when we go out to eat. We almost never buy bacon on its own for our house, although I have had cravings for BLTs in the past. Maybe we should give up eating out for Lent.

I thought Netflix. Well, at least the rerun parts of Netflix. The repeated binge watching of television series over and over and over again. The TV is constantly on in our house (less now but it’s still an issue; my habit). Netflix has taken the place of constant cable news that I gave up after the last election (2012). The problem with giving this up is that Supernatural reruns are my go-to white noise. I can do almost anything else while Supernatural is on, especially the early seasons. It’s a comfort thing. Supernatural was there when my depression returned and I needed another med adjustment. Supernatural kept me from being listless and lethargic.

There’s always the internet, Facebook and/or Kindle. I know several people who give up either the internet or Facebook for Lent. This doesn’t make sense for me since that is my family and primary school communication, I do most of my writing online in the clouds and on my kindle, so it’s much more than a crutch. For some of my family, this is the only place they get to see pictures of my kids, and I theirs. Used well, Facebook is a G-dsend.

Ice Cream? Uh, I don’t know.

Chocolate? Been there, done that.

Diet Coke? Ditto.

McDonald’s Breakfast Burritos? But I love them! I would eat them every day if I could.

Starbucks? That goes so close with my writing that I’m not sure that I could do without it for forty days. Maybe…

These are all things on my maybe list. I’ve given up some of them before. Some were harder than others; much harder.

On Monday morning, I began to read The Little Black Book. I’ve enjoyed these “Little” books seasonally, both in paper format and e-book. On Monday, it talked about fasting and abstinence (which is much different from the Yom Kippur fasting that I was used to.) One of the things mentioned was that “the church no longer attempts to prescribe Lenten practices in detail” and “choosing practices that are adapted to one’s own circumstances.” This implied to me that I was not expected to give something up if it didn’t fit with my other “penitential season” practices.

I’m not sure my priest would agree, and after the initial burst of wishful thinking, I went back to the list in my mind. It also felt a little like when I was a kid and didn’t want to stop writing on the High Holy Days because they weren’t really work. For me it wasn’t something to meditate on the meaning of; it was a cop-out. Again, that’s for my personal feelings and perspective. We all need to come to our own place this Lenten season.

Choosing an item isn’t just about the item itself; it’s about the introspection, the prayerful thoughts that go into the choosing, what makes this item important enough to make the giving up a sacrifice?

Not only that, but how is the giving up part of the larger idea of what Lent is all about – the penance and the getting ourselves ready for Christ’s sacrifice for us? Certainly, whatever we give up doesn’t compare to His sacrifice for us. It is but a small imitation, but it’s all we can offer.

So how do we continue to give.our Lenten experiences meaning year after year?

I could give up brussel sprouts. I don’t hate them, but we almost never eat them. Does that count?

The truth is, the only one who can tell me if it counts is me. Trying to get out of it doesn’t hurt anyone or change the meaning for anyone but me. Who am I observing Lent for in the first place?

The responsibility is on me because the benefit, whatever that might be spiritually is also on me.

I’ve decided to give up the breakfast burritos and ice cream. Tuesday morning was my last burrito until after Easter and Tuesday night was my last bowl of ice cream (black cherry chocolate chunk). Something from the morning and something from the night to remind me each day right after I wake up and right before I go to bed that these forty days are different.

How else will I make them different? And how will they change me for the rest of the year?

Time will tell.
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Travel – Forgetables

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I’m an expert packer. I even wrote, published and sold a travel organizer that was advice to packers and lists of what is most needed to pack for a trip, regardless of length.

One of the things that I’ve found over the years is that whether I’m going on a retreat for a three day weekend or a week abroad or Thanksgiving at Grandma’s, there is rarely a change in what I need. I still need my things, whatever that might be no matter the location or the length of time or even, believe it or not, the season.

My clothes don’t do a lot of switching around. I’ll add a coat in the cold months, and wear pants/jeans more than capris and cullotes, but overall, my outfits are universal to the seasons. I almost always wear a sweater, and my jewelry rarely ever changes. I wear the same sneakers every day unless I want to shake it up a bit and put on my black boots, but that’s a style choice, and not out of necessity.

One thing that I’m almost always guaranteed of is that I’ll forget something. I don’t forget to put it on my list, but I’ll prepare it, and then forget to grab it. It’s not a successful trip unless I’ve forgotten something necessary. In this day and age, however, 98% of the traveling we do takes us to places somewhat like where we live, and so forgetting something isn’t the end of the world; unless of course, you’re traveling to the end of the world. Prescription medicine is probably the only exception, and yes, I’ve forgotten this once on an emergency trip for a death in the family.

Still, it can be annoying as well as a waste of money to continually replace something that you already have at home, sitting on the bed or dresser waiting for you to return and scowl at your forgetfulness. And after a few times, you have a collection of them mocking you.

My top ten items that I’ve forgotten. I call this list My Forgetables.

1. Laundry bag. I have several laundry bags that I’ve bought for just the occasion of traveling, and half the time Iend up needing a grocery store bag.

2. Camera. I think Iforgot this one Thanksgiving. I had to use my cell phone, which at the time was horrible.

3. Cash. There are ATMs nearly everywhere, but the fees in airports or out of state are ridiculous. Outrageous might be a better word.

4. My poncho/scarf. I loved this poncho. I bought it for my Halloween costume, and it has several colors and a pattern that I’m not normally drawn to, and so I wanted it for a retreat as part of the mood and inspiration I was looking for. Needless to say, it stayed home. On the sofa. Within eyesight of the front door. I was going to wear it, and then forgot. Ack!

5. Boots. Same as the poncho. These are knee high black leather-looking boots that set the tone for my day. They give me a boost and almost feel like I’m another person with confidence and talent.

6. Eyeglass case. I’m always afraid that I’m going to knock my glasses to the floor when I’m sleeping in a strange place. These are always on my list and more than half the time, I forget them.

7. Water bottle. Cold. On the table next to the door. Or an empty one to fill up on the other side of security. Airport water costs upwards of $2.50 or more. Absurd.

8. Tylenol. If you need it, forgetting it is tragic.

9. Phone charger. I have a friend who always forgets his phone charger at his destination, so he never has it when he returns home. It takes about a week to ship it or buy a new one.

10. An extra bag or pocketbook. One of the things I’ve recently discovered is that carrying a bag for travel to a destination is not the same and doesn’t work as well while you’re on the trip itself. I either have a large bag that’s mostly empty with its contents strewn all over a hotel room or retreat center or I carry too much because I have no place safe to leave it. Now, I bring a bag to use on the trip that is different from the bag that I use to travel to and from the trip with.

What’s the one thing that you always need and invariably always forget on your travels?

Favorite Super Bowl 50 Ads

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There didn’t seem to be a huge variety of commercials. Maybe it’s getting too expensive. I found the Amy Schumer, Seth Rogan, Paul Rudd commercial funny and the Hulk/Antman was also a good one. Esurance was also unexpected and funny. I’ve included my three favorites below.

Clever and unexpected from a local company in Upstate New York, Death Wish Coffee:

What I thought was the funniest ad, from Doritos:

This ad about Native Americans was touching and poignant, and thought-provoking. Please watch and share, Proud to Be:

50-1 – Turning Fifty

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This is the second week of the second month, and I had anticipated being so much far along in my reflections. I’m still not sure how I want these to flow; I just feel that my fiftieth year deserves something a little special; a little different; a little more.

My age has always been one of those oddities for me. Between not caring at all and caring too much, I can never remember how old I am without doing the math. Being born in December, I was always the youngest in high school and college, having just made the cut off to attend school in my year. My middle son is usually the youngest (October birthday) in his class and my daughter is usually the oldest (January).  One of my closest college friends was born in January, so he and I were quite literally one year apart. At my first job in the early childhood field, I remained the youngest or at least close to the youngest for most of my tenure there.  Things evened out a little bit after my first son was born with colleagues and other parents in school, but I still tended to be one of the oldest in any give group. Even now I am either the youngest (at church or the Red Hats) or the oldest (at any other school or friend function.) My closest friends are in their mid-twenties/thirties.

I don’t know how I feel about the whole age thing.

I already feel adrift, falling somewhere between baby boomers and gen Xers, a forgotten generation of sorts. Too old and practical for my twenty-something friends, and too flighty and culture savvy for my aged peers.

People laugh and think it’s vanity that I can never remember my age. It’s not intentional; it’s just never been important enough to stay on my mind. Oh, I knew 18 and 21, 25 and 30. Forty didn’t bother me like I was told it would, but 41 made me cry, pretty much all year. Forty-one was tragic. I looked forward to 42 – my Douglas Adams birthday as I called it, and I expressed my age that year every chance I could. But after that….it feels like a countdown, and I don’t like to dwell on it or that I’m not quite where I wanted to be at 49. It didn’t help that 45 came with the baggage of a heaping pile  of a previously unknown and undiagnosed severe  case of depression and anxiety that is finally beginning to stay on the track it’s supposed to be on.

One thing that I do enjoy lately is that we’ve have hit the moment pop culturally where most of my favorite television shows have actors around my age: Misha Collins-ish,Jensen Ackles (at least they’re not twenty), Norman Reedus, Alan Cumming, Robert Downey, Jr, John Barrowman. (Notice the obvious lack of women/actresses in my age group to look up to, though.)

At the end of the year, I will be 50, and I wonder what that means. I’m beginning this series of reflections. My aim is to do about fifty of these, originally planned for one a week, and I’m not going to worry about it being the second week of the second month. I’m going to go with the flow. Some of the time. This is the year of positive thinking. I’m just going to trudge on, and make my way through this year, paying attention, noticing, writing, and moving forward.

Always moving forward.

I am in good company, however:

This past weekend, the Super Bowl turned 50.

In September, Star Trek, one of my most formative childhood and adolescent guides to my world will also be 50. Star Trek formed and inspired my creativity, my writing, my thoughts about the future and space travel (I was born during the Apollo age), and my never-ending love of science fiction, which begat fantasy. Star Trek was very important in my life.

NOW (National Organization for Women) was founded.

Batman: The Movie was released and was soon followed by the television show.

UFWOC (United Farm Workers Organizing Committee) founded.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas aired for the first time.

The first Kwanzaa was celebrated.

Nolan Ryan made his debut in the big leagues with the NY Mets (my favorite team. I grew up near Shea Stadium.)

The SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) was formed at author Diana Paxson’s graduation party at UC-Berkeley. The name was created by author Marion Zimmer Bradley. Like Star Trek, the SCA was a tremendous influence and inspiration in showing me new worlds, new people, and new skills like costuming and jewelry making. (It’s kind of amazing how many of my life’s influences were born the same year as I was.)

Days of Our Lives premiered.

The Supreme Court case that brought us the Miranda warning to our collective vocabulary and basic civil rights was decided.

The start of Medicare.

The Department of Transportation was created.

The Black Panthers formed.

Pampers creates the first disposable diaper, and I for one, can’t thank them enough.

Fandom Friday – Supernatural vs. Super Bowl

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Dean: We’re on the one-yard line here.

Kevin: And, I should have told you this six months ago, but the sports metaphors? You want to motivate me? Magic cards, Skyrim, Aziz Ansari.

Dean: What? Yeah, I don’t know what those words mean.

The definitions so you’re not as clueless as Dean Winchester on this Super Bowl 50 weekend:

Magic cards

Skyrim

Aziz Ansari

Super Bowl Commercials

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For those of us who are not sports fans, or at least not sports fanatics, we watch the game for the camaraderie, the food and, of course, the commercials.

My all time favorite commercial is the Mean Joe Greene Coca-Cola ad. They’re revisiting it with Mean Joe and Tommy Okon, the original kid who catches his jersey. Here’s the original:

Look for the new one on Super Bowl Sunday.

Death Wish Coffee is a local company here in upstate New York who won a Super Bowl commercial slot, sponsored by Intuit Quickbooks. Check them out:

Looking forward to all of the new ones!

Travel – Santa Clara, CA

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Santa Clara lies about forty-five minutes from San Francisco. It’s Levi’s Stadium, ground broken in 2011, and completed in 2014 is the site of this year’s Super Bowl. Super Bowl 50 will be held next Sunday, February 7th between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers. Having friends in both places, I’m at an impasse as to who to cheer on, although the Panthers are in the lead according to my childhood panther, Harvey whose growling can be heard from the living room sofa. As if there was a question, ha!

Santa Clara was incorporated in 1852 after being founded in 1777. Its patron, St. Clare was honored by naming the eighth mission in the California’s 21 Missions. Santa Clara University was built around it and currently contains the mission house and the gardens. The mission, Mission Santa Clara de Asis is currently the chapel at Santa Clara University, originally formed by the Society of Jesus as Santa Clara College, the first higher learning institution in California.

Visit the Silicon Valley Central Convention Center &
Visitors Bureau for ideas on what to see and where to go while you’re in the Bay Area. If that isn’t enough, check out 50 Things to Do in Santa Clara.

The city is also home to several Silicon Valley businesses as well as the Levi’s Stadium being the home to the San Francisco 49ers, possibly to be joined by the Oakland Raiders in the next football season.

Levi’s Stadium, tagline Field of Jeans (oh, how I love a good pun) is obviously named for the iconic, Levi Strauss Company. Their about page on their company website details their history which fits in with how we think of American ingenuity and innovation.

Candlemas

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If Candlemas Day be fair and bright,
Winter will have another fight;
But if Candlemas Day be clouds and rain,
Winter is gone, and will not come again.
~Old Rhyme

Around New Year’s when my husband wants to take down the tree, I say no, and try to put it off until Twelfth Night.

When Twelfth Night rolls around, and the following weekend arrives, he tries again, but I come up with but we didn’t put the tree up until late, let’s leave it another week.

And then why don’t we just leave it until Martin Luther King Day. Isn’t that what we always do? (We do, but I can’t remember why.)

This year, we got the tree down about a week ago.

Today, however is Candlemas. Or the feast of the presentation of the Lord. Or forty days after His birth when Mary, his mother goes to the temple now that she’s purified after giving birth to Jesus.

The nights are shorter, the days longer. Spring is just around the corner; if we can get through the next few weeks. The sun is bright if not warm. (I need my sunglasses more in the winter than in the summer in fact.)

With more natural light, we use less artificial light. We’re also brightened a bit more. Smiling a bit more. Less aggravated; more tolerant. Even that little bit helps, and it gets more and more as each day passes with its lengthening sunlit afternoons.

I’m thinking that we could have left the tree up another week and it would have been alright.

I’ll have to try that next year now that I’ve put Candlemas on my calendar again.

http://youtu.be/E7Dtyyxl19g