Just like many families in this economy we are struggling to make ends meet. It can be very frustrating when you (and/or your spouse) work very hard and it seems as if there just isn’t enough to go around. Add into that three kids who won’t stop growing, prices increasing while salaries are not and the last three years of illness and additional medical bills that our (actually good) health insurance doesn’t cover until after the extremely large deductible is reached.

When we bought our house, we thought that we were moving into a better place, both physically and financially. It wasn’t exactly a dream come true, but it was a lot. Enough bedrooms, a large backyard, a reasonably decent kitchen even though there was no dishwasher – after all, we could live without one for a few months, good schools and potential.

Unfortunately, the previous owners took care of nothing, but with ‘band-aids’ made it look as if it had been kept up very well. It had not. With an antiquated everything and a glitch in our state’s real estate laws that made it impossible to back out of the contract without losing a substantial amount of money, we were stuck with the headache that the owners walked away from with a profit.

It was not long before we had to take out a home equity loan to cover things that should have been working: a new furnace, new windows, plumbing, electrical, that were really just patches rather than replacements. We couldn’t do anything that we had planned on including a much needed (and wanted) dishwasher because it needed plumbing AND electrical installations. We still have substandard electrical and for four years, our computers were plugged into the bathroom with extension cords because that was the only electrical outlet in the house that could sustain that much power.

For the home equity loan, our contract called on us to pay interest only for five years and then principal installments would become due. We thought that was plenty of time for our kids to adjust to the schools and for me to get a job outside of the home. Unfortunately, Murphy decided to do things differently.

I had serious medical issues, both physically and mentally with increased blood pressure and changes in medication, my left knee just didn’t work on some days which put even more pressure on my right knee and right ankle. There were some days that not only could I not walk, but I could barely roll over in bed without crying. A lifelong undiagnosed anxiety disorder and severe depression swept in and made me literally dysfunctional. My husband didn’t know what was wrong with me. My friends didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was asked constantly if I was okay, what was wrong and was I drunk and in hearing questions that I had no answers to, I became increasingly more agitated and upset.

I finally went to see my doctor and we began to sort things out with medication and talk therapy. This was a long process of seeing the doctor two to three times in a month and changes in medication and this led to medical bills that I had never seen even with the births of three children.

As I became better emotionally and my knee began to work again (thanks to a tough orthopedic doctor and cortisone), our finances took a nose dive. Before we knew it, it was time to begin paying back the principal on our home equity loan. The loan went from just under $100 to just over $404 a month, tripling what we would need to find in our budget.

This was impossible.

This was impossible if my husband wasn’t laid off, and there is no word for more than impossible if he was.

We tried to work with the bank; we were under the impression (by the bank themselves) that we had positive options to pay what we could afford and extend the lower payments. They disagreed and after four months of no communication from them, they are suing us for the entire amount (just over $41,000). At the moment, I am currently working on an answer for the judge in another window. We cannot afford an attorney and so we hope that we can muddle through and come to some kind of arrangement while keeping our house (our first and main mortgage is current and we are in no way defaulting on it).

It is very stressful for all of us including our children.

I have been thinking of this route for a very long time, but prolonged it for many, many reasons. There are so many people more worthy than we are with bigger problems and bigger debts. A lot of our debt is our own making and I realize that it fosters some hard feelings. I’m hoping that people, whether they help us financially or not will remain compassionate towards us and our problems.

This is the link to our Go Fund Me Page: http://www.gofundme.com/3burrk

It is not in the initial introduction there but we have an order that we’ve chosen for paying back our debtors. First is the June payment on our first mortgage which wasn’t met when my mother in law was hit by a car and we needed most of those funds to rent a car and pay for the additional gas to travel the 250+ miles to her home and hospital. Second, money will go towards the home equity loan and the bank that is currently suing us. Third, if there is anything left will go towards medical bills in order from 2011, 2012 and then 2013, which are already beginning to stack up and it is barely six months into the year. And fourth, there are personal loans that we owe from generous friends and family who are now in need of being paid back, but who are graciously not asking us for anything while we struggle with so much.

We are calling upon your generosity and we know that not everyone has the extra income, so if you can’t assist that way, would you please signal boost this for me and my family. We would appreciate it very much; more than we could ever express.

In the last two years, I’ve seen both the bad that people can do and the absolutely gut-wrenchingly, beautiful that people can do in the tiniest of ways and it is a place I try to remain in my own life.

Thank you so much for reading this and passing it along.

Karen (kbwriting, ceirdwenfc, Cfc)