family

Gifts

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On Friday, I talked a bit about my mother-in-law and the life she led. We were lucky to see her as often as we did, with her traveling to us by bus or once in a while by train before her accident three years ago, and our traveling to see her as often as we could. She lived about two hundred-fifty miles away from us so it was a long drive, but well worth it.

We were visiting her the last week in June. We had waited for the kids to get out of school, and down we went. We had no idea that she would be gone before we left for home. There’s being sick in the hospital and there’s sick in the hospital, heading to rehab to regain mobility and since she was the latter we were already making summer plans to visit again when she passed away.

She was able to have seen her three children and three of her six grandchildren. She admired my daughter’s outfits, which I mentioned on Friday were inspired by her own free spirit and her grandmother’s. She asked us about visiting my parents’ graves and bringing rocks from her garden. (Leaving rocks on gravestones is a Jewish tradition that we followed whenever we were at the cemetery.)

My mother-in-law grew up during World War II in and around Belfast to a Catholic mother and a Protestant father. I mention this again because it influenced her lack of use for the Church. She had seen too much. Even as her kids went to catechism, her opinions on the bureaucracy remained.

When I told her of my decision to join the Catholic Church and be baptized, she was nothing but supportive. She immediately went into her dresser and gave me the prayer book pictured above. She said she wondered why she kept it all these years; now she knew why.

On another visit, she gave me the keychain/folder that is also pictured above. I don’t know that she ever carried it seriously in her purse, but it was the most perfect piece of religious kitsch that I’ve had the pleasure of seeing.

She also gave me a little confirmation statue of Jesus and a girl that she happened to have, probably from one of her beloved garage sales, still in an old, dusty box.

Despite no love for the physical church that she remembered, she supported my new found faith and asked me about it whenever we were together. She enjoyed looking at my Easter Vigil photos from my baptism, confirmation and first communion.

No matter what she thought, everyone had their own path to follow and she encouraged them in it, always.

A Force of Nature

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My mother-in-law was a force of nature. So vivid and bright, even in the black and white world of a Northern Ireland childhood, the sun dimmed in her presence because he knew when he was beat. She didn’t wear pink; she wore fuchsia. She didn’t wear peach or salmon; she wore orange. Her red was the color of a rose or a fire engine. She had to go out and buy a black skirt to wear to my wedding. She wore it again to her daughter’s. Waste not, want not.

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Tote Bag Activites

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I finally found a way to put my bag obsession to good use. Kids are always bored; at least they think so. One way to combat this life fatigue over the summer is to have a few tote bags ready to go. Just add items to the bag, keep it in the closet until needed.

1. Library Tote

New books to read. Reading lists to bring to the library. Mini-journals (can be homemade) to record books read, minutes spent reading, book summaries and reviews. Bookmarks. Materials to make bookmarks as an additional activity.

Don’t forget to check out your local library for their summer reading program. There is always a theme, prizes, and an end of program event. We’ve done several and they are great fun!

2. Food

This can include new snacks that the family hasn’t tried yet (non-perishable of course). Recipe cards. Aprons for your kids. Potholders. Cookie cutters. These can be used on bread, cheese, etc. If you know you’ll be using this bag you can add in the ingredients for something specific for that rainy day. Grocery list for food tasting.

3. Surprise Movie Tote

Choose a popular movie that your kids haven’t seen or have only seen once in the movie theatre. Include microwave popcorn and individual boxes or baggies of candy. The movie theatre boxes are sold at Target and Wal-Mart for $1. You don’t have to buy the movies either. Check out the DVD section of your library or Redbox. Netflix also has a DVD subscription service, but that is slightly more expensive (although still quite reasonable).

4. Summer Cleaning

Cleaning is always more fun when, well, it’s not really, but some kids really do like to clean. Have a list of chores in the bag with points assigned to it, like a scavenger hunt. In place of a list, you can use (or make) a six-sided die so the choices are truly random. Set the table for dinner, fold the laundry, fold someone else’s laundry in the house, put the sneakers away, make your bed, etc.

5. Pinterest

Pinterest has some really great boards for kids’ activities. You can get started on making some Christmas gifts as well as gifts for your upcoming teachers. By this time, your kids should know who next year’s teacher is and could make a little welcome packet for back to school.

I’ll have some recommendations tomorrow for you to check out. School is almost out; what are you waiting for?

What are some of the things you can think of mjaking a tote bag activity for? Answer in the comments.

Choices

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As Lin-Manuel [Miranda] said in his commencement address at UPenn this past weekend, “we choose the stories we tell.” That is wholly true, but those stories are shaped by what we choose to do in our lives.

I will tell you about my life this week. It is a ridiculously busy week. Even the calendar is cluttered.  I made a list of everything on my calendar from Sunday the 15th until Saturday the 21st.  Assuming I wrote everything down, that’s twenty-five things. Although I forgot to  include the Target run for household goods and grocery shopping plus two trips this week to The Fresh Market for their specials that are only available on certain days. I also didn’t include my son’s girlfriend visiting us this weekend for the first time. Oh crap! What are we going to make for dinner?!

All but one of the television shows on that list are for the entire family’s viewing. It’s season finales for many of them this week and next. Not listed are writing group assignments, three greeting cards that need to be written out and sent and my journal submission for one class. I also need to clean my house.

So I guess that makes it thirty-four in actuality.

As of this writing, I’ve accomplished the first nine, skipped three and will complete two more tonight plus start another one. I’ve crossed five out as conflicts with more important things that either need to be done or that I would rather do. [Watch my son get a scholarship award at his college and meet a friend of my husband’s visiting from Amsterdam for instance. My daughter also has a concert with her school’s chorus.] All on Thursday.

We will postpone Thursday’s TV until Friday, on demand, or on the CW app.

We will be late to my daughter’s concert and I kind of invited my son’s girlfriend over this weekend without telling anyone, thinking that my son would postpone it until next week. As I said earlier, it’s happening this week.

The Yartzeit for my Dad was a day late, and I didn’t go to mass this morning.

Did I forget to list that I need a couple (or more) of showers on that list?

So, we choose.

And we choose and we adjust our lives and whether through facebook or writing class or the stories we tell our friends, we are constantly making choices.

To pick the best one; the funniest one, the one with the lesson learned or the embarrassing one that we finally find funny.

Whichever one we choose they are our stories; your stories.

Choose them well.

Rundown and Reviews

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When last week started I thought I had all the time in the world. The first half of the week was an empty calendar, and I tried to set up the incredibly busy weekend, not only for us to participate in, but for me to write about. I have a long list of ideas and WIPs and I thought the early part of last week was perfect timing to get a few things started. And then it was Thursday. Ascension mass, catch up on Supernatural, writing class, get ready for the weekend. Sleepover, Free Comic Book Day, Lunch at Dairy Queen, mass for the anniversary of my friend’s death, seeing Captain America: Civil War, meeting my son’s new girlfriend, and Sunday for Mother’s Day and Fear the Walking Dead. This week started the same way.  Nice and quiet, time to write and yet still unused. Damn. Next week isn’t going to be much different. It’s feast or famine, isn’t it? Feast or famine.

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50-3 – My Earliest Memory

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Several of my early childhood memories come from photos; things I think I remember but can’t possibly. Or I remember the distorted memory combination  of vagueness, photograph, and someone else’s recollection.

One thing that I distinctly remember happening was when we were living in a Queens apartment. It was a somewhat dark apartment with table lamps and heavy drapes. We lived on the second floor and there was a big picture window across the living room. I think I was wearing a yellow dress and my hair wasn’t a bob – it was too messy to make a proper bob, but it was neck length and all over the place with those baby curls that nearly everyone has in toddlerhood.

We had no screens on the windows and they opened with those crank handles. There was a bird sitting on the windowsill, chirping, and I wanted him to come in to play or to visit or whatever toddlers think they want when nature is so close and yet so far.

I cranked open the window and in he flew.

This was great for about a second and a half until the bird realized that he was inside and I also realized that he was inside. He didn’t bounce off walls or shriek. He left that to me. I ran around our living room and then into our kitchen – it was a combination kitchen/dining area and stood on the table, yelling at. my mother to get rid of it.

It swooped and hovered and never once tried to leave.

My mother with all the grace of a cackling scarecrow chased it around the apartment with a broom until he flew right back out of the window.

My mother cranked the window shut and that was the end of my bird watching days.

She may have given me a glare as reprimand.

This might be one of the reasons that my family never had any pets.

Outdoors in the Winter? YES!

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Unless we ski, snowshoe, or take winter hikes, we tend to hibernate through the season. We rush from our house to our car to work and back again bundled up, heat on high. We layer up and avoid the outside as best we can. However our feelings about the cold and snow, the outdoors are actually very healthy for us, even those of us who are not particularly outdoorsy.

With our windows closed keeping us sealed in and cooped up, we’re more susceptible to colds and lingering infections and just feeling yicky and not ourselves. One way to combat that stale air and the winter doldrums is to get outside every day. We don’t often think of that as a solution, but the fresh air is a real pick me up.

I know. It goes against every fiber of my being too. The cold. The snow. The wind. But fifteen minutes every day has a way of rejuvenating our systems.

For kids, it gets their energy focused in the snow instead of on your living room sofa.

Bring out the shovels and the Nerf guns.

By the time winter recess comes along, at least in the northeast, we’re about ready for a mid-winter thaw. The air is a little warmer – forties instead of twenties, the sun is bright.

Take a walk.

Have a snowball fight.

Run and jump.

Make snow angels.

And then when you come inside, have a steaming cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

It takes just a little time, a little effort, and no money. Not to mention that it will help to keep the family healthy and ready to go back to school at the end of recess.

Tote Bag Fun

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This activity needs a little prep before the winter recess (or spring break) begins. If you know your kids well, you can use this with any age, but I’ve always geared these tote bags towards early childhood up to about first or second grade. Again, adaptability is the key.

Each tote bag contains themed activities or a planned outing. for example, the library tote can store your finished library books until the next time you visit the library or your library tote can contain books that your kids rarely read or new books to create a library for the day in your home.

1. Library – include books that your kids haven’t seen in awhile. Add card stock, colored pencils, markers, and crayons to make bookmarks. Include journaling paper for book report, reviews, sketch paper for adding illustrations, paper for extending the story (ie. fan fiction for kids).

2. Beach – Throw in those leis from the variety of birthday parties your kids have attended. Include a bathing suit and towel for each child. Don’t forget the sunglasses and water bottle. Put in a CD of dance music and a camera for selfies. You might also want a big, wide-brimmed straw hat to keep the sun out of their eyes.

3. Get Crafty – All the things. Paper, tape, feathers, popsicle sticks, pipe cleaners, glue, chalk, yarn, string, whatever you can think of. Collect some recycling in anticipation of the week recess: toilet paper and paper towel tubes, egg cartons, tin cans (washed, of course), newspaper, magazines. Pirate themes are always fun. Toilet paper tubes make great binoculars and wind socks. Paper towel tubes make periscopes, telescopes, Olympic torches. Use your imaginations and enjoy the creative time together!

4. Dress Up – Hats, shirts, dresses, Mom’s and Dad’s shoes, neckties, scarves. Don’t forget the leftover Halloween costumes too.

5. Back to Nature – Construction paper, glue. Include paper bags to collect the nature items with. Pre-make scavenger hunt sheets where the kids can check off what they find and draw pictures or use a digital camera to take photos of the scavenged items.

6. Animal Hospital – Include a variety of stuffed animals, reusable bandages, a doctor’s kit with stethoscope and blood pressure gauge. Use washcloths as blankets. Pretend ice packs or real ice packs as long as they’re leak-proof.

7. Kids Cook – Aprons, chef’s hats, preferably kids’ sized. Cookie cutters, sprinkles, food coloring, measuring cups and spoons, bag of chocolate chips, can of frosting, box mix for cake or brownies or cookies. Box of Jello.

What tote bag activities can you add to this list? I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments.

50-2 – Family Time

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Another week passes. Looking at it in its minutia I’ve learned nothing. I’m sure in two more months I’ll remember something important from this time of the year. Time passes so slowly in the moment, but so fast at the passing of another week, or month, or year. My son will be turning 19 in another month. He was just awarded firefighter of the year. It feels as though it was yesterday that he was dressing up as a fireman and running around the house making siren sounds.

Our family has been doing a lot of family television. We eat dinner, and then settle down in the living room with that night’s program. It’s the mid-season and most of the shows are back. The Walking Dead returned last weekend, and Gotham comes back on the 29th. My kids get very upset when I miss a show and have to catch up the next day, like I’ve done the last two weeks  Legends of Tomorrow. The first week I attended a memorial service and this week was another show I wanted to watch. Luckily, the CW has a great app to catch up as well as to watch interviews and previews. I wish the AMC app was that good.

Last night, we watched The Martian. My husband has been picking out new things for this year. I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing it, but when he put it on, I started to watch it. It was good. I was afraid that it was going to be Matt Damon alone on Mars for the whole movie. I was happy to see that it wasn’t that at all. I did enjoy it, and would recommend it to anyone interested in space travel, suspense, and action. It’s also funny and emotional – all the things you want in a good movie. I told my husband that I thought I preferred Apollo 13. They’re not exactly comparable, and The Martian is more modern, taking place in the future.I think what I found more compelling about Apollo 13 was that it’s history; it’s a true story. We know the outcome, and we still find it suspenseful and we worried along with the astronauts’ families.

Family time is what we make it. Whether it’s watching movies or reading comic books, preparing food or shoveling the walk. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. In the afternoon while my husband is still in his office working, the little ones and I are together with our tablets or our books, reading and laughing, no one doing their homework, and trying to get as many snacks as they can before dinner.

The kids are home this week for winter recess even if it hasn’t been much of a winter. I’m definitely not complaining about the weather. I can’t stand the snow, and almost never drive in it. We’re going to be full up on family time by the end of the week.

Unfortunately, this is also our low money week. The paycheck where we pay the mortgage leaves us not much left. We get by – we don’t use credit cards so we kind of have to work with what we have.

This might be the week I start the taxes.

I wish money didn’t make the world go round.