In today’s Gospel, more than denying the Christ, Peter is abandoning a friend, his close friend. How long had he traveled with Jesus? How long has he witnessed for him? He left his livelihood and his family and his home for Him. Jesus asked him to build his church.

Today he deserted him, not once but three times. This is probably the hardest to read for me. How many times have I abandoned a friend because I was afraid of someone else’s response? It is so much more than being selfish or simply looking out for yourself. The amount of fright and sadness felt by Peter I’m sure was palpable. He wasn’t just afraid of what would happen to him from the crowd if he admitted to his friendship or to his discipleship, but also his reaction to Jesus seeing his betrayal and immediately forgiving him. The shame and relief were probably at war with each other.

The hardest part is not only asking for forgiveness but forgiving yourself.