Transgender Day of Remembrance

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I wanted to observe this day of remembrance for the transgender people who have been assaulted and murdered in the last year. I wanted to do this especially this year when transphobic rhetoric has been at an all time high, at least in my experience. This day reminds me of those people lost, and it reminds me how I can continue to speak out and make the world safer for trans people. That is what makes me an ally. Wearing a t-shirt or a pin doesn’t make me one. Speaking out with general information, corrections to misconceptions and misinformation, and calling out transphobia when I see/hear it is what makes me an ally.

I thought about this a lot this weekend. I was on retreat and without getting into private details, I was in the presence of two mothers of transgender sons. One was accepting and one was not. The one who was accepting walked her road, steady over the potholes, and came to understand and accept her son’s new place in her life, never once wavering in her love for them. The second mother was not accepting. She detailed some medical experiences her child had, she shared their new name, but in that, she was not accepting of that name, and would continue to call her child by their birth name. I had a choice to speak out and possibly offend someone; or speak out and educate or really take a stand on that child’s side. I chose to speak out. I think I did it tactfully. The point of speaking out wasn’t to make the mother feel bad or guilty or angry; the point was to make her think, to consider what she’s saying versus the reality of her situation with her child. Silently, I felt that if she continued with this way of thinking, she will lose this child, and I don’t think that’s what she wanted.

Last week, I had a similar opportunity with someone else. He said something that I considered transphobic. It was a small thing, and it wasn’t to a trans person or about anyone, and really it wasn’t that bad in the great, big world of transphobia, but I called it out anyway. It caused an argument with the other person saying that I was being overly sensitive – it was not transphobic. The only response that I could make was that trans people will let you know what’s transphobic.  My point here was that it is the small stuff that tells a trans person they’re not welcome or safe with you. You don’t have to murder a trans person to make them feel unsafe with you. I did let it go. People need to hear what’s said and then be given time to think about it, coming to the realization in their own time.

However, knowing that today was coming so soon after these conversations, I knew that I needed to acknowledge this day and these conversations. Those of us who are not transgender do need to have conversations that encourage our questions, that enable us to move beyond our internal biases, that allow us to change our hearts and become un-transphobic. It is not easy for any of us who love people that change before our eyes, but when we look deeper, I think we’ll see that they changed very little. They were always who they were, and it is not up to us to accept them; it is up to us to continue to love them.

I think that when we look at trans folks, the biggest change that we may or may not see is that they are comfortable. They are happy. They are lighter than they used to be now that they are who they are supposed to be, who they’ve always been, hidden away. This is who they’ve always been, except now they’re smiling.

Today is to honor the dead, but it is also to save the living through our acceptance and love. Please consider my words with the intention they were meant, and for everyone, but especially trans people, to have a peaceful day in contemplation and commemoration. I will prayerfully be considering those who lost their lives this past year, but also those who are journeying their own paths and that they remain safe on their journeys.

46/52 – Transgender Day of Remembrance

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As of this writing, 25 trans people have been murdered this year, however that number may only be the US. This is something that needs to end. It’s not about whether or not you agree with someone’s truth, but the transphobia is killing trans people, especially women of color and youth.

We need to remember and continue moving forward to better lives for trans people, equality, and safety.

The first Day of Remembrance was held online in 1999 and has evolved into a day of action as well as a memorial. It occurs every year on November 20th, which is tomorrow.

Please visit the Trans Day of Remembrance site for up to date information and a memorial list of the 2017 deaths as well as Glaad.org/tdor

Transgender Day of Remembrance

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tdor


Jacqueline Cowdrey (50 years old)

Cause of death: unknown

Location of death: Worthing, West Sussex, United Kingdom

Date of death: November 20th, 2013

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Rosa Ribut (Jon Syah Ribut – 35 years old)

Cause of death: blunt force trauma

Location of death: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Date of death: November 24th, 2013

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Betty Skinner (52 years old)

Cause of death: blunt force trauma to the head

Location of death: Cleveland, Ohio, USA

Date of death: December 4th, 2013

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Brittany Stergis (22 years old)

Cause of death: gunshot wound to the head

Location of death: Cleveland, Ohio, USA

Date of death: December 5th, 2013

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Elizalber Oliveira de Mesquita (39 years old)

Cause of death: stoned to death

Location of death: Teresina, Piauí, Brazil

Date of death: January 5th, 2014

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Paloma

Cause of death: multiple gunshots to the head and chest

Location of death: Belém, Pará, Brazil

Date of death: January 8th, 2014

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Rayka Tomaz (20 years old)

Cause of death: multiple stab wounds.

Location of death: Fortaleza, Ceará, Brazil

Date of death: January 10th, 2014

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Prince Joe (Joseph Sanchez – 18 years old)

Cause of death: multiple stab wounds, dumped on the street

Location of death: Belize City, Belize

Date of death: January 12th, 2014

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Toni Gretchen (50 years old)

Cause of death: multiple stab wounds

Location of death: Teresina, Piauí, Brazil

Date of death: January 16th, 2014

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Luana (20 years old)

Cause of death: gunshot to the chest

Location of death: Goiânia, Goiás, Brazil

Date of death: January 10th, 2014

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Cristal (Alexandre Nascimento de Araújo – 22 years old)

Cause of death: Gunshot

Location of death: Natal, Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil.

Date of death: January 19th, 2014

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Thifani (18 years old)

Cause of death: dismembered

Location of death: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Date of death: January 27th, 2014

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Joice (José Antônio Vieira Freitas – 32 years old)

Cause of death: multiple stab wounds

Location of death: Teresina, Piauí, Brazil

Date of death: January 28th, 2014

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Sarita (Marcos de Almeida Oliveira)

Cause of death: gunshot

Location of death: Itabela, Bahia, Brazil

Date of death: January 29, 2014

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Juju (Julian de Souza Cruz – 32 years old)

Cause of death: beaten and stoned to death

Location of death: Salgueiro, Pernambuco, Brazil

Date of death: January 29th, 2014

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Raíssa (Lourivaldo Xavier)

Cause of death: 6 gunshots to head and chest

Location of death: Cuiabá,Mato Gross, Brazil

Date of death: February 1st, 2014

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Tatty

Cause of death: facial injuries

Location of death: Belo Horizonte, Brazil

Date of death: February 7th, 2014

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Rafaela (Alexsandro Alderotti José dos Santos – 32 years old)

Cause of death: multiple gunshots

Location of death: Recife, Brazil

Date of death: February 11th, 2014

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Alex Medeiros (8 years old)

Cause of death: Beaten to death by father for refusing to cut hair, liking women’s clothes, and dancing.

Location of death: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Date of death: February 18th, 2014

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Paulete

Cause of death: multiple gunshots to the face

Location of death: Taguatinga, Brazil

Date of death: February 19th, 2014

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Camila Veronezi (24 years old)

Cause of death: suffocation

Location of death: Bragança Paulista, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: February 21st, 2014

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Lu (Célio Martins da Silva)

Cause of death: multiple stab wounds

Location of death: Nova Serrana, Minas Gerais, Brazil

Date of death: February 23rd, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: gunshots

Location of death: São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: February 27th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: gunshots

Location of death: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Date of death: February 28th, 2014

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Kitana

Cause of death: 3 gunshot wounds to the head

Location of death:Aracaju, Sergipe, Brazil

Date of death: Feburary 28th, 2014

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Sarita do Sopão (39 years old)

Cause of death: multiple gunshot wounds

Location of death: Teresina, Piauí, Brazil

Date of death: January 29th, 2014

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Andressa Pinheiro

Cause of death: 15 stab wounds, dragged, fractured skull

Location of death:João Pessoa, Paraíba, Brazil

Date of death: March 1st, 2014

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Rose Maria (32 years old)

Cause of death: stabbed in the neck

Location of death: Brás, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: March 5th, 2014

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Vitória (16 years old)

Cause of death: 2 gunshot wounds to the chest

Location of death: Boa Vista, Roraima, Brazil

Date of death: March 12th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: burned to death

Location of death: Jardim Ingá, Goiás, Brazil

Date of death: March 14th, 2014

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Paulete (Paulo Roberto Lima dos Santos – 19 years old)

Cause of death: gunshot

Location of death: Teresina, Piauí, Brazil

Date of death: March 17th, 2014

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Marciana

Cause of death: gunshot

Location of death: Iguatu, Ceará, Brazil

Date of death: March 24th, 2014

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Nicole (Marcos Vinicius Machado – 20 years old)

Cause of death: hands and feet bound, stabbed in the neck and abdomen

Location of death: Vitória, Espírito Santo, Brazil

Date of death: March 28th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: dismemberment

Location of death: São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: March 23rd, 2014

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Giovana Souza Silva (33 years old)

Cause of death: gunshots

Location of death: São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: March 29th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: beaten with weapon, fists by several people, dragged through the street.

Location of death: João Pessoa, Paraíba, Brazil

Date of death: March 29th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: blow to the head with iron bar

Location of death: Sobral, Ceará, Brazil

Date of death: April 2nd, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: beaten and strangled to death.

Location of death: Manaus, Amazonas, Brazil

Date of death: April 2nd, 2014

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Mileide

Cause of death: 4 gunshot wounds

Location of death: Santo Antônio, Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil

Date of death: April 7th, 2014

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Valquíria (aka Josivaldo Ribeiro Oliveira Brito)

Cause of death: gunshot to back.

Location of death: Praça dos Carreiros, Rondonópolis, Mato Grosso, Brazil.

Date of death: April 20th, 2014

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Çağla Joker

Cause of death: gunshot to the chest

Location of death: Tarlabaşı, Beyoğlu, Istanbul, Turkey

Date of death: April 21st, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: four gunshots

Location of death: Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil

Date of death: May 29th, 2014

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Marcia Moraes (34 years old)

Cause of death: four gunshots

Location of death: Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil

Date of death: May 29th, 2014

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Kandy Hall (40 years old)

Cause of death: massive trauma, body left in a field

Location of death: Montebello, Maryland, USA

Date of death: June 3rd, 2014

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Paola (Anderson Arruda Camote) (29 years old)

Cause of death: knife wounds to neck, feet and hands tied

Location of death: Arandu, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: June 8th, 2014

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Zoraida “Ale” Reyes (28 years old)

Cause of death:choked to death

Location of death: Anaheim, California, United States

Date of death: June 10th, 2014

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Mia Henderson (26 years old)

Cause of death: massive trauma, found dead in alley.

Location of death: Baltimore, Maryland, USA

Date of death: June 16th, 2014

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Yaz’min Shancez

Cause of death:murdered, and burned

Location of death: Fort Myers, Florida, United States

Date of death: June 19th, 2014

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André Luiz Borges Rocha

Cause of death: gunshot wounds to the face

Location of death: Tijucal, Cuiabá, Mato Grosso, Brazil

Date of death: June 23rd, 2014

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Tiffany Edwards (28 years old)

Cause of death:shot to death

Location of death: Cincinnati, Ohio, United States

Date of death: June 26th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: raped before being brutally executed with blows to head.

Location of death: Coruripe, Alagoas, Brazil

Date of death: June 30th, 2014

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Kellen Santorine

Cause of death: raped before being brutally executed with blows to head.

Location of death: Uberaba, Minas Gerais, Brazil

Date of death: July 13th, 2014

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Mackelly Castro (age:24)

Cause of death: hanging

Location of death: Teresina, Piauí, Brazil

Date of death: July 18th, 2014

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Lele (age:24)

Cause of death: beaten to death

Location of death: Roatán, Honduras

Date of death: July 18th, 2014

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Dennysi Brandão (age:24)

Cause of death: multiple gunshot wounds to the hip, chest, and back.

Location of death: Contagem, Minas Gerais, Brazil

Date of death: July 24th, 2014

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Alisson Henrique da Silva (age:25)

Cause of death: multiple gunshot wounds

Location of death: Macaíba, Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil

Date of death: July 31st, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: found dead, with eyes removed.

Location of death: Jardim dos Ipês Itaquaquecetuba, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: August 9th, 2014

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Alejandra Leos

Cause of death: gunshot to the back

Location of death: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Date of death: September 5th, 2014

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Karen Alanis (age:23)

Cause of death: thrown from vehicle, ran over

Location of death: Caçapava, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: September 9th, 2014

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Marcela Duque (46 years old)

Cause of death: stoned to death

Location of death: Medellín, Colombia

Date of death: September 9th, 2014

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Cris

Cause of death: multiple gunshot wounds

Location of death: Portal da Foz, Foz do Iguaçu, Brazil

Date of death: September 13th, 2014

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Marcela Lopez

Cause of death: Stoning

Location of death: Medellín, Antioquia, Colombia

Date of death: September 14th, 2014

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Mahadevi

Cause of death: pushed off moving train

Location of death: Malleshwara, Karnataka, India

Date of death: September 25th, 2014

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Bruna Lakiss (26 years old)

Cause of death: gunshot wound

Location of death: Várzea Grande, Mato Grosso, Brazil

Date of death: September 30th, 2014

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Aniya Parker

Cause of death: gunshot wound to the head

Location of death: East Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, USA

Date of death: October 3rd, 2014

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Gaivota dos Santos

Cause of death: three shots to the face

Location of death: Rio Largo, Alagoas, Brazil

Date of death: October 1st, 2014

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Géia Borghi

Cause of death: shot in the chest, bound, gagged, set afire

Location of death: Monte Mor, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: October 9th, 2014

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Jennifer Laude

Cause of death: asphyxiation by drowning

Location of death: Subic Bay, Zambales, Philippines

Date of death: October 11th, 2014

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Sara (27 years old)

Cause of death: Gunshot

Location of death: Camaçari, Bahia, Brazil

Date of death: October 12th, 2014

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Aguinaldo Cláudio Colombelli (45 years old)

Cause of death: 30 stab wounds

Location of death: Passo Fundo, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil

Date of death: October 16th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death: beaten to death

Location of death: Manaus, Amazonas, Brazil

Date of death: October 16th, 2014

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Flávia

Cause of death: three gunshots

Location of death: Goiânia, Goiás, Brazil

Date of death: October 20th, 2014

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Mary Joy Añonuevo (55 years old)

Cause of death: stabbed 33 times

Location of death: Lucena, Quezon, Philippines

Date of death: October 21st, 2014

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Ashley Sherman

Cause of death: shot in the head

Location of death: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States

Date of death: October 27st, 2014

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Maicon

Cause of death: Gunshot

Location of death: Goiânia, Goiás, Brazil

Date of death: November 1st, 2014

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Letícia

Cause of death:stabbed in the chest

Location of death: Sorocaba, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: November 6th, 2014

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Raquel

Cause of death:Gunshot

Location of death: Parnamirim, Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil

Date of death: November 6th, 2014

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Adriana (16 years old)

Cause of death:Gunshot, body wrapped in sheet, tied to tree trunk, thrown in river.

Location of death: Rio Branco, Acre, Brazil

Date of death: November 9th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death:throat cut

Location of death: Jundiaí, São Paulo, Brazil

Date of death: November 9th, 2014

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Unknown woman

Cause of death:shot and burned

Location of death: Tblisi, Georgia

Date of death: November 10th, 2014

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Gizzy Fowler

Cause of death:Gunshot

Location of death: Nashville, Tennessee, United States

Date of death: November 10th, 2014

(List provided by International Transgender Day of Remembrance (Word Press))