lent

Penance

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Tonight was our parish’s Communal Penance Service. There was no Mass, but there was music and contemplation and an opportunity for individual reconciliation. In addition to our pastor, there were four other priests hearing confessions and absolving. While we’re waiting our turn, the lights are dimmed and our music director plays several hymns on the organ. There is time to think and meditate on our sins and our transgressions.

When it was my turn my priest took my hands in his, and said my name. I’m still only comfortable going to my own priest, although the whole process of contrition can be quite nerve-wracking for me; it’s still new to me. His eyes are both serious and twinkly. He has such a good soul, a kind soul; it radiates outward and is such a comfort. I got very lucky when I wandered into this church three years ago. Someone (clearly) was watching out for me.

I expressed my regret and sorrow for my sins. I named two specific ones, and at the moment that his hand touched my forehead, his open palm on my head, his words on my heart; when he says that I am absolved, I can feel the weight lift. It is a weight that I don’t realize I’ve been carrying until it is gone.

I think I am finally ready for Easter. I’ve gotten through this first year as a Catholic (a reflection for a later time), Good Friday is approaching and the Lenten season is coming to a close. I’ve been trying to use these daily reflections to show myself how much I really do meditate on the words of my life, not only the Scriptures but all the words of my life.

Penance is part of those meditations, and contemplations, and absolutions, and forgiveness.

It is also a reminder that I am somebody even if I’m still trying to figure out who that somebody is.

Do Not Be Afraid

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“Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home; I love you and you are mine.”

– You Are Mine (hymn)

Always a good thing to remember. This was a really hard week, and next week is going to be a really, really busy one. I will try to keep this hymn in mind as I go through everything.

Love Deeply

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“Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 PETER4:8 (NIV)

-From the pamphlet, Blessings of the Cross, Day 5

Love each other deeply. Today my oldest child turned eighteen. What a huge milestone! We celebrated yesterday because today he went for fire department training, but we came home and had more cake. Cake is a good thing. Eighteen is a good thing. My son is a good thing. Happy birthday, Z. You are deeply loved.

St. Joseph

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Today is the feast day of St. Joseph, husband of Mary and father of Jesus. He was thrown a curve when he found out Mary was pregnant, and after the visit from an angel, he accepted his role in this Holy Family. All across the world fathers do what they do, working and caring for their families, their children, their parents, and more often than not without getting or expecting a thank you.

This would be a good day to do that; to show your appreciation for all they are to you, and all they do for you.

My husband is a son and a father. He talks to his mother all throughout the week. Every day after work, he spends time with his kids, walking, reading, snow-playing and play-shoveling. While he’s working, though, he’s also doing laundry, washing dishes, going up and down the stairs all day long getting things done.

It is a thankless job.

He’s always available to drive them or take a special trip to the ice cream shop. Sledding at the park. Putting out the compost. Taking out the trash and recycling. Going to the comic store and picking up the comics. Getting the groceries and cooking dinner. Getting the kids out the door in the morning and on the bus.

All the time busy, taking care of his family, unspoken gratitude hovering nearby.

Traditional Catholic Prayer to Saint Brigid

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Saint Brigid.
You were a woman of peace.
You brought harmony where there was conflict.
You brought light to the darkness.
You brought hope to the downcast.
May the mantle of your peace cover those who are troubled and anxious, and may peace be firmly rooted in our hearts and in our world.
Inspire us to act justly and to reverence all God has made.
Brigid you were a voice for the wounded and the weary.
Strengthen what is weak within us.
Calm us into a quietness that heals and listens.
May we grow each day into greater wholeness in mind, body and spirit.

Amen.

(From: http://saintbrigids.org/reflections/prayers/)

A St. Patrick’s Day Memory

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I’ve always been drawn to the Irish, all Celts really. The Irish captured my heart throughout childhood and college until my spirit finally fled to Wales. Today is St. Patrick’s Day, though and because of that, I will tell you one or two of my favorite St. Patrick’s Day college stories:

I went to college in a college town. Small semi-rural community with two colleges, fifty-two bars and no curfew.

One year, as usual I was underage (they raised it on my birthday), so I became the designated driver. We went to Murphy’s on the other side of town. You actually needed a car to get there; the buses didn’t run that far. We sat, they drank, and as the designated driver, I got free Cokes. At some point I was asked for my driver’s license, which I gave to the cute bartender.

He looked at it three times and exclaimed rather loudly, “Why did you give me this?! I can’t serve you!”

“But I’m not drinking!”

I had to leave and the bartender was pretty upset that I took my four friends, who were paying for their drinks, with me.

Green beer was a big thing at my college, but not in the capital where four of us were student teaching. My friend Mike and I whined (and whined) about green beer until the other two piled us into the car and drove us the 72 miles to our college town for green beer, and then back in the wee hours of the morning, but still in time for us to student teach.

We were warmed over yuck but we were there as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as we could manage. All of us that is except for Mike, who had the day off and presumably was still in bed.

🙂

Faith?

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“So if you’re down they push you down, fella, they push you down .” – Calvin Crabill, The Dust Bowl documentary, 2013

This is how I feel with my financial troubles. I know that we’re responsible for our mistakes. I accept that. But when you’re lied to and misinformed add deliberately deceived, how can you escape that? How can you get back up from that?

As for me, I trust in the Lord. Let me be glad and rejoice in your mercy, for you have seen my affliction. Cf. Ps 31 (30):7-8

Laetare Sunday

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Accuracy to this Wikipedia entry, Laetare Sunday is “a day of relaxation from normal Lenten rigours; a day of hope with Easter being at last within sight.”

Weddings can be held today, and in Catholic and Anglican traditions, servants were released for the day to return to their mother churches and/or to see their mothers. It became known as Mothering Sunday.

This is also the day of the Second Scrutiny, the blind man who is given sight (John 9:1-41). The Gospel itself reads, “He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!”” (John 9:25).

It’s hard for me to hear this verse without hearing the tune of Amazing Grace in my head. That’s always been one of my favorite songs, and I realize now how despite the blind man’s physical blindness, we all have moments of blindness, moments where our eyes “are opened”, where we can suddenly see clearly. This Scrutiny is the one that I can most identify with. Jesus was always right in front of me, but I couldn’t (or didn’t want to) see Him. When He knew I was ready, he took my blinders off, and now I see.