daily lenten reflection

Retreat

Standard

Most people read that word as surrender or giving up but even in a military sense, despite its bad rap it really is not a negative.

A retreat (verb) for me is a chance to step back and regroup. Reassess the situation from a different perspective; take a look at the big picture, assess what’s working and what’s not and move forward with not only a better outlook but with a better plan; one that has a chance of pushing us in good ways and always moving us ahead rather than standing still.

Confession

Standard

Confession is not for payoffs; it is for healing.

– Lewis B. Smedes, Give Us This Day, 2/27/15

My first confession was required as part of my RCIA program. It may have been the first sacrament I made prior to baptism.

I was forty-seven, and had no idea where to begin. Would anything I felt guilty about count? Should I stick to the ten commandments? Most of those weren’t applicable: murder, adultery, stealing.

I yell at my kids and I curse. A lot.

It felt silly.

But in looking deeper, into years and decades of feeling sorrow for deeds, I managed, with the guidance of my priest to find the right balance, to know what should be confessed and what should be ignored, what needed deeper understanding and what remained superficial.

It wasn’t my confession that freed me; it was the absolution and the absolutism of G-d’s forgiveness through my priest’s words and prayers. With his hands on my head, I could feel the weight lifted, literally going away from me.

It was so much more than I expected, and so much more healing than I could have imagined.

Hope

Standard

Where there’s life, there’s hope.

I heard this today on Supernatural. It was said in a glib, facetious way to put on a happy face, to show that the character didn’t care about his future, but the fact is that he does care. Underneath it all, he’s an optimist.

I would always call myself a realist; or even a pessimist. I have a knack for finding the dark cloud in every silver lining, but slowly, that seems to be changing.

My mantra drones on in my head, it will all be alright, and I think…. I think I might actually meant it.

Intention

Standard

Intentions are important. My decision to miss morning mass this morning was with the intention of going to tonight’s mass.

Unfortunately, I fell asleep this afternoon, and now I feel like Rip Van Winkle. My head is groggy, my mind is foggy, my hands are tingling, and the last thing I want to do is go out in the cold.

I will probably stay home, and read my devotional. Although I find that positive, it’s not the same as being in the community of church.

Intentions are important.

I must remember that follow throughs are more so.

Rite of the Elect

Standard

Yesterday was the first Sunday in Lent, when the Bishops greet those in their Diocese who are preparing for their baptism into the Catholic Church.

One year ago, I was one of the Elect, called by name at our Cathedral. I met our Bishop, and I signed my name in the book. There were prayers, and hymns. My family was there, my husband, my kids; my priest and a church friend standing in as sponsor.

The nervousness of being on display subsided with a calm I’ve only found through Jesus; that unfailing faith that only He can bring.

Surety.

This decision was unwavering; the only one before or since.

Led by the Spirit

Standard

Led by the spirit of our G-d, we go to fast and pray
With Christ into the wilderness; we join his paschal way.
“Rend not your garments, rend your hearts.
Turn back your lives to me.”*

This was our closing hymn on this first Sunday of Lent. As soon as those words came from my lips, I was reminded that Lent is not a solitary disposition.

As we fast and pray throughout the rest of these forty days, Christ is with us as He is always with us.

It is not solitary, but it is also not public. No need to make a show of our sacrifices, our abstentions, to announce our Lenten deeds by rending our garments for the world to see. Instead keep Lent where it is supposed to be: in our hearts where G-d can always see our underlying intentions.

* adaptation by Ralph Vaughan Williams, 1872-1958