BDSM? Or Abuse?

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As I recently said on my Facebook, I try not to pass judgment on people’s likes and dislikes, especially when it comes to books, music or movies. However, Fifty Shades of Grey crosses the line from problematic to dangerous.

What worries me about Fifty Shades is the amount of young people who want to try something new sexually but aren’t experienced enough to realize what’s abuse and what’s normal BDSM play. They go into relationships with a superficial idea of a curiosity and what they want to try out, but don’t always know how to stop something they might not like.

These are two links I found today that are worth reading and keeping archived for future reference, especially if you’re a parent or close relative of a young person starting out on their intimate relationships. This also holds true for more experienced people who are confused by what’s okay for them and how they can say no when they mean no.

Fifty Shades of Grey in its own words describing why it’s glorified abuse

A chart showing the difference between abuse and BDSM

Blogging 101 Exercise (Page 82 of Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins)

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I watched the first two Hunger Games movies, and then my middle son got interested, so we rewatched them together. It was a nice Mommy-G moment. After that we had been waiting for Mockingjay, Part 1 to come to our cheapy theatre ($5/adults, $3.50/kids) so we could go together. (This movie theatre is really the only way our entire family could go out to the movies all together, all five of us, which we are lucky to do more often than we would be able to.)

While we were waiting, hanging on every trailer, I unfortunately read a spoiler that I regretted (spoilers almost never bother me, but this one knocked me down).  I decided to read the third book since it would be weeks until the movie got to our theatre.

I managed to borrow it from the library for my kindle, and as a YA novel it was a very fast read. I wasn’t sure how it would go because I’d never read the first two books, but I dove right in.

I really enjoyed the tone of it, Katniss’ voice. I’m certain that it helped to have seen the first two movies.  I think it was written with that in mind, not that it would be turned into a movie, but with the pacing of watching a movie. (I often write like that, so it was very familiar to me.)

I could easily picture the characters through their actors’ voices. It was very vivid, and even with my ritual of pausing at each chapter, the intensity and the suspense remained and kept me riveted.

For the Blogging 101 challenge, I was asked to pick up the nearest book, turn to page 82 and read the third sentence.

I’m trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don’t expect us to be impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”

 

For Katniss this was the moment where she softened on Boggs. She said as much in the next few sentences of the chapter. I missed that this wasn’t in the movie. I understand that there isn’t room for every favorite incident from the book to fit in the movies; there just isn’t enough time, but I really liked this one.

I thought it not only made a District 13 person more human, less machine and more humane and I immediately liked him right before Katniss did, but it also made the District 13 bodyguard much more than one-dimensional. Up until that moment, he was a cardboard cutout. Suzanne Collins did a good job of giving him a physical description so I could picture him in my mind, but up until then I was waiting for a shoe to drop.

Would Katniss try to escape from his constant guard? Would he betray her to his district’s higher objectives? Would they be at odds for the rest of the book?

After this, there were other shoe dropping to look for – the inevitable conflict Boggs would have between his loyalty to his President and home district and to his newfound loyalty to Katniss, not only all that she represented as the Mockingjay, but as a person he really liked and cared for.

This was the moment when he wasn’t just doing a job; he was her ally, and I loved that about this subtlety.

I won’t give any spoilers on how the book turned out, but even knowing the end, I can’t wait to see how the next half of the movie will be!

Quotes about Writing

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Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is nonexistent.

—Jim Jarmusch

Write because you have something in your soul that you want to communicate.

– Amish Tripathi

Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.

– Neil Gaiman

Blogging 101 Assignment: Share Links

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Obviously this is a limited list. I try to post links when I find ones that will be of some help to my readers. These are a few of the most important ones for me at the moment in no particular order. I’m sure I will add more in the coming days.

Random Acts
The Trevor Project
Brother Mickey McGrath
Thesaurus
Urban Dictionary
IRS
Punxsutawney Phil
National Domestic Violence Hotline
National Weather Service
Catholic Culture
Transgender Law Center

A Doctor Who Sketch

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Featuring Captain Jack Harkness, The (Tenth) Doctor, and Donna Noble. 

You can hear them, can’t you?

Jack: “Hello.”

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The Doctor: “No.”
Jack: “What?”
The Doctor: “No.”
Jack: “I can’t say hello?”
The Doctor: “No.”

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Donna: “It’s alright. I don’t mind.”
The Doctor: *eyeroll*

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Donna: “Give us a hug.”

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An Actual Agenda for This Week ;)

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Actually, to be fair to myself I usually do have some sort of plan for the week even if all it might be is my still-new daily format.

However, as many of you know I’ve been trying to expand my writing horizons by participating in Blogging 101, an online workshop that talks about and let’s me try out some of the features here at WordPress. I’ve fallen a bit behind the daily assignments, prioritizing with what I posted instead, and I thought I would use this week to do a little catch up.

Although today I’m already behind since I’ve been out all morning, getting groceries and running some errands after Mass to prepare for the huge snowstorm that’s predicted for us (even though I thought it was supposed to start around one and it is now after three with nary a flake.)

I’m also trying to remake my corner office into some semblance of order, and my mornings to include a prayer or contemplation time to focus and center myself to go forward with my day whatever else I have planned and whatever else it may bring.

One more week in January. A good time to rethink my goals and resolutions and add/subtract as necessary.

Quotations to Motivate your Organization and Organizing

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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

– Mark Twain

Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor – it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.

– Peter Walsh

Being organized isn’t about getting rid of everything you own or trying to become a different person; it’s about living the way you want to live, but better.

– Andrew Mellon