Our Most Recent Story

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My Go Fund Page

Before I got derailed by plague, I was talking about posting a discussion about my financial situation. Right up front I will say that many of our early problems that we are still paying for are of our own making. Borrowing thinking we would be able to pay back and then not getting the amount of money we were expecting. Getting laid off with a child is an enormous financial situation and we handled it badly, especially before our landlord decided he wanted to live in our apartment and we needed to rent something for half the space and more than twice the rent. And then we had two more children, one of whom was completely unexpected. We have certainly changed our spending habits even though we are not perfect. We want our kids to have what they need, and yes, what they want when we are able.

The current problem and most pressing that we’re trying to stabilize is with our home equity loan.

When we bought our house, there were many problems. Many problems. I’m not going to get into those here because that is literally a book in the making. We bought the house and immediately replaced the furnace. The next year we replaced the windows, both of which lowered our utility bill drastically. We are still paying for the windows seven years later (although at an excellent rate.)

But there were other things that needed to be done that were above normal home maintenance, and so we borrowed money from a bank for a home equity. At the time we took out the loan, we had one income.

For the first five years, we were to pay the interest only, and then the rate would change to include the principal. We anticipated that in five years I would have a job and my husband would have gotten raises, and we’d be able to do this. But if we didn’t, it was okay.

The bank had said that we could extend the interest only payment for another five years for a $50 (but the amount might change) fee. We were not worried having that assurance from the bank when we signed the contract.

In the meantime, I became ill and did not get a job. The economy tanked. My husband’s raises were eaten up in taxes, house repairs, health insurance, gas for the car and groceries which had increased practically exponentially.

In the year before the bill was to come due, we were told that they would not extend the interest only payment, our payment would indeed TRIPLE (from $95 to $404/month), and I should look for a job. (Yes, they actually told me this despite the fact that they gave us the loan on our one income and I was ill with problems walking.)

When the economy crashed and burned, our house went down in value, almost $25.000 less than what we paid for it, $35000 less than it was appraised at when we took the loan.

I tried to get the bank to honor their verbal agreement that we could extend the interest only payments. They said it wasn’t in the written contract, no one at that bank would have told me that (I took notes, but it’s seven years ago and I don’t know where that folder is). I asked if continuing to pay the lower amount would benefit us; I was told no, only the full amount, so I used that $95 for my medication as my insurance had ceased paying for the year until my deductible was met (it never was that year.)

As it stands now, we’ve been sued (and lost with a summary judgment and possible wage garnishment* of 10% our gross income, which is more than the triple amount that we couldn’t afford before.)

We were refused the opportunity to appear in court. We would like to pay; we can’t afford to.

Now, we’ve found out that our net income has been reduced by $124.10 each month due to higher health insurance costs.

We are once again in our deductible period, and our co-payments, co-insurance and prescriptions will cost more this year when we couldn’t afford it last year. We were barely making ends meet as it were and I still owe medical bills for my children and me from as far back as 2012.

*As of this writing we were served with an income execution for 10% of our gross salary. What this means is that every two weeks, we need to turn over $194** to the sheriff’s department or they will garnish my husband’s wages through his employer (this is never a good idea – many people get laid off when these kinds of financial crises occur.)

** This was my estimate of 10% after taking out the pre-tax amount the company gives us for health insurance. It is semantics, I know, but the company calls it income, but we never actually see it. We give it all back in premiums and then some.

So, this is the gist of our story.

We know many people are in our position, and that there are many worthier causes.

I’m posting in this much detail and asking for the internet’s help once again. We’ve modified our first mortgage and hope that will keep our head above water, but with this judgment and garnishment, I’m not sure how we will survive.

We’ve also requested a reduction and/or a stay of income execution in the garnishment, but we’ve been denied everything else thus far, so I have no real hope for these options and have so far, gone unanswered.

We have a Go Fund Page, and if anyone is able to help, we would greatly appreciate it and so we are blogging our page and praying for the best. Good wishes and prayers are always welcome.

Thank you for reading and we appreciate any reblogs and donations that can be offered.

Karen/kb

I Heard it in the Homily

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*This essay is about me and my dealing with things. Except in rare circumstances, my coping falls to me until and unless I ask for help. And sometimes I can’t ask.*

When I’m having a particularly difficult time, I pray for patience, courage and strength. Never one without the others. In my early days with the church, there were times when the priest said, “Let us pray.” I had no idea what to do. Make my shopping list? Think about breakfast? Write fan fic in my head for the next three minutes? But one day the words just came to me: patience, courage and strength, and just the thought of them during prayer was very calming and gives me a moment to re-focus. When I have nothing or no one specific to pray for, I can always use more patience, courage and strength.

Today was one of those days. Actually, it’s been one of those fortnights. I’ve been falling into a deeper depression and heart palpitating anxiety and sudden bursts of tears. There are several factors causing this, some that shouldn’t be reaching the level of anxiety that they are and others that are obviously out of my control.

Sometimes my coping works and sometimes it builds to a crescendo until some kind of an outburst happens. I’ve had one outburst in the last three weeks, and considering that I’ve been sick that long, the kids have taken turns being sick, my friend died, a student at my son’s high school committed suicide, my friend has had a crisis of their own and can’t help me, and payday and therapy can’t come soon enough, I think one outburst is a reasonable ratio to three weeks of time.

For example, my coping this morning when my car went sideways in the snow was very good.

My coping last October in Virginia with the idea of driving forty-five miles on a straightaway in near perfect weather was very bad and if you ask anyone present, that would be an understatement.

It’s unpredictable, this coping thing.

Some of my successful coping isn’t available (more than one thing and for varied reasons) and in addition to the coping not being accessible, the idea of the coping being unavailable increases my stress levels.

It’s hard not to blame the people around me (whether in person or by phone/text, whether by actual acts or acts of omission), even though in my mind, my logical places, I know that no one can read my mind and by the time I can, by the time I’m able to, ask for what I need, it’s often too late.

At this morning’s homily, one line blared above the others, and stood out to me:

“We are called on to be strong.”

The exact message I needed to hear today. Maybe I can get through another day if I can hold onto that.

We’re not called on for more than we are able; I truly believe that despite my much often heard whining. I’ve been strong before. I can do this until tomorrow and then see where I stand. Maybe tomorrow is the day I can reach out and my hand is grasped or maybe someone will reach for me. I don’t know. I just have to hope that I’m strong enough to endure until the depression passes or the coping returns, whether that’s through people, writing, planning, carrots, or whatever. I won’t know until it happens, but until then I am called on to be strong and the best thing I can do is believe in myself and have faith that things are going the way they should be and this moment is just that: a moment soon forgotten.