The only unfulfilled love I’m willing to talk about openly is writing. And the realization that the love affair will never be reciprocated hurts just as much as that first time someone came out and said, “I like you. I just don’t like-like you.”
Writing will never like-like me. I’m too old, and it’s not that I’m too old as much as born at the wrong time – the non-generation. I’m not a baby boomer. I’m not a Me. I’m too old to be a Gen-Xer. Or Y and Z for that matter. I missed the computer age – I didn’t even have a computer until I got married and I was forty-one before I actually owned my own – a laptop, which took me a year to finally use with any kind of regularity. My kids know the VCR as the machine next to the TV that has never worked.
I read Julie Andrews autobiography recently. She grew up in the fifties, and I was sad to discover that her voice is my voice. That’s how I write. Very formally, describing how the leaves rest on the rooftop, narrative on top of narrative with very little emotion unless it’s purple prose. I write like someone who grew up in the fifties, only I have no story to tell. My parents weren’t alcoholics, I did not overcome drug abuse, I wasn’t abused or molested. My parents sent me to college. I lived at home until I got married.
This non-generation of girls was expected to grow up, be prim and proper, but still know everything, go to school, college and be anything you wanted, anything boys could be even President of the United States. At least until you got married and had kids and in that order. And when the kids were in high school you could go back to work because women were independent now.
You can’t be a writer. A writer is impractical. And they drink. They don’t have two nickels to rub together either.
Get a degree and then you can write.
Get married. You can write later.
You’re still young. You can’t wait to have kids. Writing will always be there.
Well, guess what?
Writing didn’t wait for me. Writing found someone else. Writing computerized. Modernized. Writing grew up, and changed with the times where it needed to. More do it yourself. More travel. More health care and fitness. New writers came along. Younger and prettier and having seen people like me get left behind knew just what to do to keep up.
Writing won’t ever come back for me, and I just can’t catch up. My writing is tired and old; timid. Like me.
My best friend, like any good friend, pushes me towards the love that got away, prods, challenges, shames, but he can only push so far. I keep my hand on the ledge. I don’t know what’s down there. I lean over, but I can’t see very far, and what I can see is dizzying.
What if I fall?
What if I catch up to writing and I’m just not good enough? Staying back and wondering is better than being rejected again, isn’t it?
Isn’t it?
Griffins and Ginger Snaps 
We kinda think the same. If you’re to old to write then I’m to young to write. I still don’t have much experience to tell, no love story to share, etc.
I am glad to have found a piece of writing by you 🙂 I’d just say…Keep Writing! Words deserve to be loved and see they loved you back. Congrats on being freshly pressed! We all like-like your writing !
Aw, I can relate to this… I also hate my own writing… it seems so trite and unoriginal. And yet, I earn a living with it. I read other people’s stuff, like yours, and I think to myself, “now, why can’t I bloody write like that?!?”
Great post! Thank you for giving me the courage to keep writing too.
I bet you write like you speak. It’s very comfortable to read your words. You should be very proud of yourself in being part of the blogging word. We now number way over 80,000 individuals in the US. Collectively we can make this country and world a better place to live for everyone. Keep up the great work. Your readers deserve it.
I hear ya sister! I am –ahem– 45 and just my own laptop for christmas. If it weren’t for my kids, I would not be able to operate my Iphone, or tv. great post. Does our generation even have a cute, campy name?
Congratulations on being freshly pressed! Glad to see that you have been proven wrong. People clearly like your writing.
I feel quite insecure about my writing too, especially as English isn’t my native language, but a few people have liked some of my posts and that’s encouraged me to carry on writing. I’m not great at it, but I’m improving (I hope) and that’s the main thing.
Keep on writing! We all like it.
Congratulations! You are officially a WRITER!
Nobody’s too old to write. And there you are, freshly pressed! =)
Reblogged this on Sammy Diaries.
I enjoy reading your style of writing–it’s direct and very relatable–so don’t stop writing. Like you, I constantly feel it’s a struggle to put words on paper whether it’s not having enough time or me not being good enough. I’m pretty sure the solution is to just write without worrying about all that clutter that does nothing but bog you down. Happy writing:)
You’re already doing it. Just keep on sharing.
If you use more tenderness in your writing i.e. look after it, care for its every need and whim, then it’ll repay you a thousandfold. But you need patience.
Well now! I love your style of writing. Keep it up please.
You brought tears to my eyes. That was beautifully put. To often we can’t find the pause button on life. And there is no rewind button. I’m a big fan of Julia Andrews too 🙂
Write anyway. Write for you, and then let those of us who can appreciate it enjoy it. 🙂
Write. Write some more. Then write again. You didn’t miss it and it didn’t miss you. You have each other as is evidenced by this post. 🙂
When does ‘too old’ happen?
Well you just made it to Freshly Pressed, possibly a sign that it’s time to reevaluate the reasons why you think you can’t write. Looks like the proof is in the pudding (I think writing must love you back). 🙂
I just recently began a blog of my own and I am a young writer, as you have talked about. I think that though you may be from an older generation, I still respect anything you may say. I look forward to what you have to say in the future, as I have just found this blog in Freshly Pressed.
Cleverly and beautifully written. It’s never too late… Keep it up!
I enjoyed your post very much!
I completely disagree that you are to old to write. My son gave me a framed quote, “We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” If you think you are to old to do something, you are giving yourself an easy out. It is scary and intimidating to try something new. However, wasn’t that always the case?
It’s better to try and know, than to continue wondering 🙂
Oh, ouch, this hurt! I had tears in my eyes by the end of the post! Write! Do write! You do a good job! And do you know how old George R. R. Martin is? It’s never too late, plus you’ve got that thing that made me tear up. Write!
amazing i love reading this…i make those same excuses, i will write when im done with college or il write when {fill in the blanks} I really took something away from this. thank you.
Words and thoughts that I could not manage to put to paper – here it is!
can relate to =)
Keep writing!
Writers evolve, Satisfaction comes when least expected!
You’re never too old or too young to
Write!!! Best of luck.
You write what you need to say, and it will find its way to the ears that need to hear it. Write for yourself and don’t worry about the judging jungle! My father was an alcoholic and I overcame drug abuse, but I feel like that story’s been written a million times — old hat. The grass is always greener! Congrats on the FP
Your blog writing is heartfelt and beautiful! I think the most important thing in writing is to use your own voice and to feel comfortable in it, no matter whether it’s “trendy” or “modern”. In older books, the style is different and sometimes difficult even, but that writing continues to speak to many people. Keep at it!
Don’t drown before you reach the shore. Don’t die of thirst in sight of the oasis. It’s never too late.
I love the ‘voice’ and ‘style’ you use! It is not too formal and you are not, repeat after me, NOT too old 🙂 During my schooling years I absolutely loved writing…It was all I ever did. Finished school and what did I initially study? Commerce. I hated the corporate world and so began my studies in creative writing. I could only study part time and so it took me six years. I think as writers we all have something unique to offer. Embrace your writing style and target audience. Don’t change who you are. I often read work by my classmates and think, wow, I wish my writing was more this or more that. But I have to appreciate what I can offer and hope there’s an audience out there who still enjoys what I DO. 🙂
Sooo true!
Now we know that it may actually love you back, you just didn’t know it. 🙂 Cheers!
Not too formal at all. I think lovely. Maybe every story you have to tell has been told already but only you can tell a story the way YOU can tell it.
Love your style. I’m a new blogger, still trying to learn the new ropes. Very late forties and have had similar thoughts. Nice to see I’m not the only one. 🙂 You are too talented to stop.
You’re never too old to write. 🙂
Thank you for this post! With a talent like yours you don’t need a troubled personal story to write. Just keep putting words on the paper, you already are a great writer…
love the post, and it struck a chord with me too, another ‘over the hill’ new blogger!
“BARDS of Passion and of Mirth,
Ye have left your souls on earth!
Have ye souls in heaven too,
Doubled-lived in regions new?”
If these lines hold trus still…then why not your words!
Keep writing because you’re never too old…to follow your heart.
according to the book i am currently reading, finding your literary voice (even if it is julie andrews’) is momentous and something to be celebrated. so, yay for you! 🙂
Writing is cold wet slap in the face!
You obviously see yourself as a writer, or you wouldn’t be writing. 🙂
I’m sure that like the rest of us you have opinions on life, love and the universe. As a writer you are in a ;position to write about them. There is the news, there are issues abounding.. Stop worrying and start writing. (and congratulations on being freshly pressed).
Reblogged this on mrsdrea's Blog.
Unless you’re writing in a medical journal I would challenge that narrative could ever be disassociated with emotion. I think your old world charm has a niche of it’s own, you’re interesting enough … an alcoholic drop kick dad and a history of sexual abuse isn’t going to win the audience over. You’re sincere, it goes further than you think.
Too old is crap.
So very true. Thanks for sharing and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
So much emotions. It’s just so beautiful.