As someone who spends an inordinate amount of time online, it still surprises me when the people around me don’t know the pressing news of the day. I had to tell my boss this morning about the devastating loss of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele. I mentioned being in a “Rob Reiner fog,” and she didn’t get what I was saying; she hadn’t heard. Part of me wishes I hadn’t heard.

I also don’t want to diminish Michele’s life by attaching her by marriage, but I didn’t know her, and I’m sure part of that was intentional on their family’s part – keeping their private life private, or at least as private as possible.

When my sister texted me last night with the initial reports of two bodies found in the Reiner home, I hoped, beyond reason that it was someone else; not that that would be a good thing either.

I was realizing this morning that (as a fan) I have known Rob Reiner for my entire life. I used to watch All in the Family with my father growing up. There was never a moment in pop culture that he wasn’t present for me. Even the movies I didn’t see had a cultural impact on me – like Stand by Me and Misery. The ones I have seen, like The Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally are iconic cultural classics.

But Rob was more than his acting and directing.

During the pandemic, he participated in the lockdown version of The Princess Bride, and his scene with his dad, Carl Reiner and Rob playing the Fred Savage part was emotional and heartwarming and perfect, and it gave us in lockdown a bright spot to hold onto.

His activism can’t be ignored. He was on the top of the important issues, and didn’t concern himself with his personal consequences. From civil rights to women’s rights to LGBT+ rights, he spoke out for all of us, and remained on the right side of history. His standing up in these times gave us an example to follow with heartfelt examples of how to fight the fascism we still find ourselves in.

Whatever led to this tragedy is irrelevant to his fans mourning him and Michele. We should remember how they lived, how they worked, how they spoke out for injustice, and give the family room to breathe and grieve for however long it takes.

May their memories be a blessing.

And may we take as a blessing their example of how to live and be a part of the world, caring for and taking care of each other.